Failed birth control

DoctorWorm222 · September 2014

The "I might be an asshole, but..." thread that's blowing up got me to wondering about failed birth control. I know a lot of people who have "surprise" babies -- its not all that uncommon. I even know a few girls who have hand multiple (upwards of 3+) "surprises". I've always kinda wondered about that...

For those who have had "surprises" -- at the risk of sounding like a complete a-hole -- what happened? Was it user error? Did you forget the pill? Or was it totally out of left field?

I'm sure this post will offend some people, though its not my intent. I just have a lingering curiosity as to how often "surprises" happen through absolutely no fault of our own and how often there's an element of irresponsibility, however small. Is it understandable to start side-eyeing when a person is "surprised" multiple times? Is this an indication of bad choices, or could it really be just bad luck?

Educate me, ladies of D14.

DoctorWorm222 · September 2014

alissendis said:

I got pregnant at 18 after being date raped. I was on birth control pills at the time and took all of them religiously, but whatever the guy gave me interfered with it and I ended up pregnant. I miscarried. It sucked.

I'm so very sorry that happened to you.

I've actually wondered the same thing about birth control -- whether a "one-size-fits-all" pill could really work for everyone given that people are different sizes, have different tolerances to other drugs, etc.

Annie&Raggy · September 2014

Well i wasnt on birth control but we didnt plan our LO. We waited to long to use a condom. So i think it was just us being irresponsible. But we're still really happy about it

AngelSong76 · September 2014

My oldest nephew (now 18) was conceived while my sister was on birth control and using a condom. We always said he has an absolute purpose to get through that many barriers.

mrsrroberson · September 2014

We were on the rhythm method at the time and obviously missed the beat. Lol It's our second marriage and 1st baby together, we couldn't be happier.

nopegoat · September 2014

I got off the pill about 6 months before I KU with my first because it started making me absolutely insane and we were using condoms religiously. I have no idea what happened. They weren't expired, never had one break, and we'll not sure how you screw up wearing a condom. I was 2 months late and since I "knew" there was no way I could be pregnant I refused to test. Finally a friend practically made me and lo and behold it was positive.

DoctorWorm222 · September 2014

AngelSong76 said:

My oldest nephew (now 18) was conceived while my sister was on birth control and using a condom. We always said he has an absolute purpose to get through that many barriers.

It sure shows determination. Haha!

[Deleted User] · September 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

AngelSong76 · September 2014

DoctorWorm222 said:

AngelSong76 said:

My oldest nephew (now 18) was conceived while my sister was on birth control and using a condom. We always said he has an absolute purpose to get through that many barriers.

It sure shows determination. Haha!

He IS quite stubborn.

Serunatu · September 2014

The 'pull out' method wasn't as accurate as it proclaims...

Or maybe it was.

beachy6 · September 2014

Oddly enough, I was on bcp and ended up pregnant with my DS after my DH came home from his first year long deployment (stateside). I didn't screw up taking the pill either since I was taking it for my endo and if I forgot, I'd be sorry, pain wise.

Who would have thought it would take 10 years and 3 IVF transfers to get #2?!

Annya26 · September 2014

I have heard all kinds of reasons for surprise babies - some irresponsible and some bad luck. I know of more than one person who has gotten pregnant with an IUD, and I know one who got pregnant after he had a vasectomy. Lots and lots who got pregnant using rhythm, pull and pray, etc.

LiliansMama14 · September 2014

Serunatu said:
The 'pull out' method wasn't as accurate as it proclaims...

Or maybe it was.

I agree!! Lol

Shortstack06 · September 2014

When I started taking birth control I was 15 to control my acne, it was a low dose prescribed by my pediatrician and I wasn't sexually active and just kept getting it prescribed from him. When I was 21, I had my wisdom teeth out. The dentist prescribed me an antibiotic to start a few days before the procedure and I didn't know at the time they can make a birth control ineffective. My boyfriend, now husband, decided we were going to have a few rounds of sex before the procedure. We didn't have sex for a few weeks after due to complications with infection and swelling. I had continued taking my birth control, had a period that month or so I thought. My period the next month got very intense and lasted longer than normal. One night I couldn't take it, went to the hospital to find out I had a miscarriage. This was my first experience with a GYN. They changed my prescription and all was good for a few years. At 24, I ended up with an ectopic pregnancy while on birth control. My husband and I both agreed that I would stay off birth control and we knew the risks of "unplanned" pregnancies because of it.

mlee116 · September 2014

We were using NFP but I ovulated MUCH later than I normally did. In retrospect, we probably shouldn't have been using that method since my periods weren't super consistent. But it actually worked out to be great timing and I'm glad it happened when it did.

chicorojo · September 2014

My second I got pregnant on the pill, The pregnancy I lost at ten weeks was conceived with the IUD.

AngelSong76 · September 2014

beachy6 said:

Oddly enough, I was on bcp and ended up pregnant with my DS after my DH came home from his first year long deployment (stateside). I didn't screw up taking the pill either since I was taking it for my endo and if I forgot, I'd be sorry, pain wise.
Who would have thought it would take 10 years and 3 IVF transfers to get #2?!

We conceived right away with #1 and needed treatments for #2 also, although not as much as you guys did. Secondary infertility was such a shock for us. I kept saying "but we JUST did this successfully."

Shortstack06 · September 2014

alissendis said:

DoctorWorm222 said:
I'm so very sorry that happened to you.

MissChristineMarie said:

@alissendis I am so sorry that happened to you, love. Hugs.

Thanks, to both of you. In all honesty I've come to terms with it. I'm a much more stable person - financially, mentally, emotionally - now than I was 12 years ago and while I would have made it work for a baby, it wouldn't have been ideal. Pretty crappy way to find out that date rape drugs inhibit birth control pills, though, else I would've been at the pharmacy the next day asking for Plan B.

So... lesson to your daughters (unfortunately) in the future, ladies.

I am very sorry. I am happy for you that you were able to become a stronger woman after.

riansmommie · September 2014

My DD was a Nuva ring/ condom baby, she was just determined to be here, I was 18. A couple years later I was on the patch and ended up pregnant again, it ended in a miscarriage. I was on antibiotics though when I got pregnant with the patch.

AngelSong76 · September 2014

alissendis said:

I got pregnant at 18 after being date raped. I was on birth control pills at the time and took all of them religiously, but whatever the guy gave me interfered with it and I ended up pregnant. I miscarried. It sucked.

Other than that, over a decade of being sexually active while on birth control has never ended in me being pregnant, so I am just as curious as you are about how it happens to some women multiple times!

When I was younger (around 21) I went to a doctor about how I was getting really bad cramps in the middle of my cycle. She was initially concerned that my birth control pills weren't working and explained that some women still ovulate on BC because the dose isn't high enough in triphasic pills, so I think it's possible that some women who get pregnant on BC are just... not realizing that they're still ovulating. I had to switch to a monophasic pill just in case it was a sign of ovulation. Pretty sure it was just the IBS that I ended up being diagnosed with years later, but better safe than sorry. 21 year old me would have been a terrible mother, haha.

I am so sorry that happened to you. Hugs.

DoctorWorm222 · September 2014

MissChristineMarie said:

When someone tells me they have more than one "whoops", I do side eye them... because to me that means 1.) You aren't using your BC right or 2.) You probably should change BC. I am a judgmental gal, what can I say? I also sometimes don't believe some women who say their baby was a whoops, when really it was something they kinda sorta wanted. Nevertheless, the judgement stops there and I am excited for them because babies are always exciting to me!

So, this is why I originally posted. My first thought would be "didn't you figure out the cause of this", but it seems that several of the ladies here have had things happen with multiple different bc methods.

I also see what you're saying about the "surprise" that wasn't too "surprising." I know a few ladies who really wanted a second or third kid but the husband didn't, and they just happened to have an accident. Not saying it couldn't have happened, but its suspicious.

agsgrrl · September 2014

Slaps said:
They could just be using condoms, I have never had birth control fail on me, only using a condom is all I can think of.
Unless they were in the pill and had to take antibiotics, seems that Drs out here don't warn that they interfere with the pill.

That's how my cousin Logan who is 5 got here. Lol his brothers are 32 and 27. My aunt (51) had never worried about BC because my uncle got snipped. Second husband:)

SissynJitters · September 2014

I was charting to avoid - apparently my chart was wrong.

SissynJitters · September 2014

Whoops hit post reply without finishing. I think my body was still regulating after DD was born. Happy surprise...we were going to start trying soon there after anyways!

courtd2 · September 2014

Low dose, and medium does birth control was ineffective for me. The past 5 years my husband and I have had 5 losses. The birth control wasn't strong enough to keep me from getting pregnant, but it was strong enough to give me miscarriages.

After going on a high dose birth control, the hormones were too much for me to handle, I also gained a lot of weight and got acne. After deciding to go off birth control completely, my body and hormone level went back to normal. Since then we have been using the condom and/or pull out method. It wasn't really a surprise when we conceived.

We were having some amazing sex and we were both close to finishing so he said "fuck it!" when I was just about to finish myself and wouldn't have otherwise if he pulled out. I knew the next day I was going to be pregnant. And that's how we got this little one.

(lol off topic, but right now my baby is kicking my hips it feels funny. baby dreams!)

taryn0527 · September 2014

My mom was on birth control and dad used a condom....yet I'm still here!

leoandethansmom · September 2014

When I got pregnant with DS I had been dating DH for about 2 weeks. Needless to say, accident. I was on BC and took it religiously. I was also on an antibiotic for strep so I'm guessing that's where the oops came from. Best mistake of my life.

Edit: my brain, I just can't.

Eora3 · September 2014

We had five years of infertility treatments before doing IVF to have my oldest son. My OB laughed at me when I brought up birth control at my post partum appointment. So we just didn't worry about it.

I actually thought I was going through menopause when I realized I had missed a period. Yeah, my OB was wrong. My boys are 17 months apart. Surprise!

This baby was conceived while I was charting. I hadn't decided what type of birth control I wanted to use after my second was born. I guess I wasn't as worried about it as I should have been. We weren't even having sex regularly (or much at all) at that point and we used condoms most of the time anyway.

So, my second and third sons will be 16 months apart. Lol! Lesson learned!!

jennielee123 · September 2014

Um... we were using the pull and pray method. There were a few instances where only the praying occurred. After eight years of this method, i'd say it worked pretty well. She is the best "surprise" ever.

neonsun0419 · September 2014

We used condoms for 10 years with only one breaking. It broke when my DS was about 5 months old and I went to the pharmacy for plan B. We had no BC fails, but did learn with DS that NFP wouldn't work well for us since I ovulated on day 21 of normally 28-30 day cycles. We double-dog dared the universe for this pregnancy - after trying for 6months the previous summer/fall I told my husband to just go for it (after attending a wedding and enjoying the bar). We couldn't be more delighted with our irresponsibility! The stress of trying was epic.

krystrist2014 · September 2014

Oooohhhh... I got a story! Lol.

I had been on the pill... but I sucked at taking it every day so in late Jan/early Feb I got my period early because taking the pill irregularly screwed up my cycle. Then I decided to just stop taking it for a month to regulate things. SO and I weren't completely averse to the idea of having a baby... so when he visited for Valentines Day we kind of just threw our hands up in the air and said "its up to God." Hahah, yeah, we are kind of ridiculous but we knew that if it came down to it we could support a child and be okay financially.

I didn't get my period in March and I was concerned I was pregnant. Once I was a week late, I bought a pregnancy test and got a BFN. I waited another week, still no period. So I took the second test in the box, BFN again. So, I thought, okay, maybe I need to start taking the pill again to regulate my cycle - because going off the pill had caused my period to stop for 3 months once in college.

So in late March I began taking the pill again. SO visited me the first weekend in April for literally 24 hours and we had sex once. I kept taking my pill that whole month. Once I started on the sugar/placebo pills for the month and my period still hadn't started, I was like what the hell? But I didn't panic because I felt crampy like I do before my period. So I was waiting it out.... and then I started feeling nauseous... for a whole week.... so I decided to go see my gyno, and blood work confirmed I was actually pregnant this time! Hahah.

We were kind of surprised that it happened AFTER the month that we left it up to fate and after we realized that maybe that was kind of a crazy thing to do. LOL. But we are pretty sure that our Babygirl was just meant to be

:x

esr9435 · September 2014

@shinycat‌ that's pretty similar to how our little one got here!

I had just had surgery for endometriosis and my dr warned us that I would now be "very fertile". We decided to start trying knowing I had endo and it could make things more complicated if we waited. And then I got pregnant a few days later.

My surgeon, obgyn, and husband were all shocked at how quick it happened. We planned on it taking at least 6 months not 6 days lol

[Deleted User] · September 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

weezy29 · September 2014

For the pill to be effective it should be taken every day at the SAME time. If you don't do that, you are not taking your birth control correctly and there could be an "oopsy!" So, I really think it depends on how accurately people are taking it......

Now, my best friend did get pregnant with her 2nd while she had an IUD. However, the IUD had come out and was just dangling so it wasn't actually in place when it happened. Still, I consider that a legitimate oopsy!!

ashleykadlec · September 2014

With DD I was on the same pill I had been on 5 years, took at the same time every day and still got pregnant. After I had her I didn't want to go back on the same pill but had a hard time finding one that wasn't making me feel weird or miss my periods all together. After a year of being on this certain pill I just stopped taking it. Hubby and I wanted to start trying for baby 2 in about 6 months but ended up pregnant after being off the pill for 3 months even though we used a condom. So, two unplanned babies for us but we're perfectly okay with it!

soulcupcake · September 2014

I charted and actively TTC'd my other four. No surprises there. With my current husband, we were in the NTNP camp. I was only "surprised" because it had been five years, and I previously had issues with LPD.

[Deleted User] · September 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

Cheekers2010 · September 2014

My first was a "surprise". We went on vacation to celebrate our anniversary, We had been married for 10 years, I was 35, I thought I was past my fertile window that month. I forgot to bring condoms. We decided to throw caution to the wind for one night figuring that it was unlikely to take just one time. Well, it took just one time. Of course we knew it was a possibility and that we could care for a baby if necessary. It was still a shock.

JRod13 · September 2014

H is a pro at pulling out....except the 2 times he apparently failed miserably.

stejjy · September 2014

This pregnancy was a "surprise", but in a sense of we weren't taking the right precautions, so can't really be THAT suprised. I found when I was younger I'm allergic to the generic pill, it just made me bleed non stop the whole time and was just unhealthy. And being the scaredy cat I am I didn't want to try the injection or the implanon incase there was a bad reaction.

So for years I was just using condoms religiously. My SO and I had been seeing each other for about 2 weeks when we conceived this little peanut. Not the ideal situation but at no point was I upset. We're making it work.

krystrist2014 · September 2014

Slaps said:

I don't understand why the Drs don't tell you about antibiotics and the pill, in the uk every time they give you them they tell you, and when you go to the chemist to pick up your prescription the chemist will tell you again.

I don't understand this either. Any time I have ever been prescribed an antibiotic, either the prescribing doctor or the pharmacist reminds me that it will interfere with birth control. Doctors and pharmacists that don't are irresponsible. I have experience with this in both the US and Canada and I have never known a doctor to neglect this info.... granted I am sure it happens occasionally. But maybe sometimes women forget to disclose birth control when asked about other meds they take?

Failed birth control

Re: Failed birth control

Choose Another Board

Search Boards