Is there a "I couldn't care less" club about religion? I don't feel like I'm an athiest because I don't passionately disbelieve in a God. And I think there are a lot of things in the universe that aren't explainable, but I don't crave an answer for those things. Also, when people start going on and on about their religion, my eyes totally glaze over and I check out of the conversation mentally.
I also find it interesting when people blindly follow a book of teachings that has been rewritten dozens of times by different people. I mean no offense to anyone, but this is where I'm at with all the religion talk today.
I think you might be sitting on the Agnostic bench with me. I think. This thread is making me unsure of everything in the whole wide world.
@SPurp13 Totally true. Most things don't get past kids. For this I am so glad that DH and I have changed, forgiven, and recovered from the crap year we had in our marriage. Our toddlers are far too smart and aware of everything!
All of this princess talk has gotten that line from Ciara's "1, 2 Step" song stuck in my head. I'm walking around the office thinking, "The princess is here, CIARA!"
@SPurp13 It's all about balance. I would say follow your instincts. If your baby cries and you want to console her, take her back.
Some moms do go home and sleep/rest, and are basically brought baby every 2-3 hours to nurse, and then someone (grandparent, friend, whomever) takes baby back and mom sleeps/rests some more. This is really not ideal, because the early weeks are a very very important time for getting to know your baby, for bonding with baby, and for establishing breastfeeding.
Most of baby's time in the first weeks of life would ideally be spent snuggling skin-to-skin with mom (and dad), and grandparents/friends ideally would make sure the world keeps turning while the new family bonds: helping with groceries, cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands, etc. The best visitors aren't concerned with bonding with baby themselves, but instead try to create an atmosphere that will make it easy for mom and dad to have bonding time.
These can be really helpful for new moms, friends, and grandparents:
https://www.llli.org/docs/0000000000000001WAB/WAB_Tear_sheet_Toolkit/11_yourgrandchildisbreastfed.pdfhttps://www.llli.org/docs/0000000000000001WAB/WAB_Tear_sheet_Toolkit/08_wedloveyourhelp.pdf
Thank you! I need to specifically find something that says what you say in the body, that a lot of time, the baby needs to be skin-to-skin with me.
I don't want to rip my kid out of my mom's hands, I really don't, but. I want very badly for breastfeeding to work.
I'm already fearful that my depression will somehow make me unable to release necessary (whatevers) in order to produce milk at all. I have done ZERO research on that. It was a random thought that popped into my head the other day. I was like "if I'm depressed, will I feel the NEED to feed my baby the way another mother will?" I should take to google, but it might make my anxiety worse. I'm wondering if lots of skin-to-skin will benefit me as well (from a depression standpoint).
--------------------
Yes! Skin-to-skin aids in bonding and attachment from BOTH mom and baby. Causes oxytocin release and stirs baby's instinct to nurse frequently, which is awesome for your supply. If you're feeling down, snuggle more. It will make a difference!
Also, take note of how you're feeling and talk to DH and/or your therapist. Make sure to surround yourself with positive sources of support and encouragement. Someone not supporting you in a way that lifts you up and makes your bond with baby and DH closer, sorry - they should go.
Tell your mom that the doctor/nurse/LC/whomever has said that for the first 4 weeks, baby should spend x number of hours per day skin-to-skin with mom. Suggest that she hold baby while you eat or shower, and that you will need her back at other times.
The bolded is good. My husband just has a HUUUUGE family. She's going to be passed around a TON. If we are off to the races (is that the phrase?) from the get-go with breastfeeding, I'll be more lenient, but if we're having a hard time, I'm going to have to be a bitch, I think.
I'll mention all of the above to my husband.
I talked to my OB (well, the NP) about being depressed, and she said what I suspected (and was my gut feeling), which was to tough it out until the baby's born (rather than start taking something right now). It's, in theory, no longer than 3.5 weeks away. But in the meantime, that I should call my GP to let her know I need to see her asap to talk to her about maybe getting a prescription, but not taking it until the baby is here. So, I made that call today. And my husband and I are both going to the therapist together Sunday.
The past two nights have been really, really good. My husband, after 2 weeks of just crying with me, because he doesn't know how to fix this, just started holding me constantly (that sounds really fucking lame). He's always been affectionate, but when I walk in the house, I just feel so much calmer. Whereas before, I would walk in the house and just immediately cry because my day was spent fighting tears, and I'd be so stressed about going to bed because I'd have nothing to do but THINK. But he's been filling the downtime with white noise, if that makes sense. He's changing the subject, and flipping on the TV, etc. He's really trying. I'm slightly concerned about when I go on maternity leave and have the house to myself, but that's only 8 week days, and 2 of those he will be working from home, and I made appointments on some of the others, so I'm not just sitting and crying by myself.
Plus I have you guys.
I'm feeling scared about PPD...but more hopeful than I felt on Monday and Tuesday, for sure.
Is there a "I couldn't care less" club about religion? I don't feel like I'm an athiest because I don't passionately disbelieve in a God. And I think there are a lot of things in the universe that aren't explainable, but I don't crave an answer for those things. Also, when people start going on and on about their religion, my eyes totally glaze over and I check out of the conversation mentally.
I also find it interesting when people blindly follow a book of teachings that has been rewritten dozens of times by different people. I mean no offense to anyone, but this is where I'm at with all the religion talk today.
I think you might be sitting on the Agnostic bench with me. I think. This thread is making me unsure of everything in the whole wide world.
I think it would be easier if I was a person of religion, I have many friends and family who are...but I just don't like the kool-aid.
Whoever said the UO thread has gotten too tame lately, you did this. I blame you. That's like a cosmic invitation for debate on the worst of all possible subjects.
Me: 30 | DH: 4/12/85 - 6/16/14 | Quinn Patrick born 9/28/14
Whoever said the UO thread has gotten too tame lately, you did this. I blame you. That's like a cosmic invitation for debate on the worst of all possible subjects.
I know, and I had my hand in all of it, so. Whoever said that, pages and pages ago--yer welcome.
Pretty sure someone requested food talk so here's something...
UO: Anytime someone mentions McDonalds on this board, I gag. Can't stand that place. There's nothing good about it. Their fries suck!
Here, let me just do it for you...
Their fries are about the only thing I like. And speaking of McDonald's, your UO made me think of Jim Gaffagin (sp?) and his bit about Mcdonalds. He is hilarious, so thanks for that.
5 cycles of "TTC" - 3 intentional, 2 not so intentional. 5 BFPs. My rainbow arrived 10/15/14. TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
@SPurp13 She wasn't saying what you think... She was saying her church teaches the Bible straight, word for word. But I'm sure the other conversation wouldn't go over well anyway
@SPurp13 She wasn't saying what you think... She was saying her church teaches the Bible straight, word for word. But I'm sure the other conversation wouldn't go over well anyway
I'm more confused than when I STARTED now.
Wait, so if her church teaches the Bible straight, does that mean she believes in strict interpretation of the Bible? Was that stated anywhere?
5 cycles of "TTC" - 3 intentional, 2 not so intentional. 5 BFPs. My rainbow arrived 10/15/14. TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
5 cycles of "TTC" - 3 intentional, 2 not so intentional. 5 BFPs. My rainbow arrived 10/15/14. TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
@SPurp13 She wasn't saying what you think... She was saying her church teaches the Bible straight, word for word. But I'm sure the other conversation wouldn't go over well anyway
I'm more confused than when I STARTED now.
Wait, so if her church teaches the Bible straight, does that mean she believes in strict interpretation of the Bible? Was that stated anywhere?
That's what I THOUGHT, but now maybe not?
I was ready to go down that road, but I could not.
I think there's a difference between religion and believing in a God/higher power. I always looked at it as the second definition, about following the rules of a particular type of worship. I don't care what people believe as long as they don't tell me I'm doing it wrong. I never considered myself religious until I thought about this baby not being baptized and that made me sad, so I guess I am a little religious.
I didn't wait until I was married to have sex, but DH is the only person I've ever had sex with. My mom always told me that I should wait until I'm in love and committed, with someone I'd be willing to raise a child with regardless of marriage. My dad always said, "kissing causes babies." I think he was joking.
I do know people who sped up the marriage process because they were Christian and so excited to have sex. They are still married and happy, so who knows.
I am enthusiastic about breastfeeding, but I refuse to stress about it. I have to go back to work at 6 weeks at the latest, so my kid is going to have to get used to eating from a bottle and being fed by other people. I think minimizing contact with other people who love her so that I can bond more fully is sad. I want everyone to love on her and if it makes her confused about where the boobs are, at least she'll be well-loved and confused.
The bolded will be difficult for me to execute, and I'll probably only REALLY be strict about it if we're having problems breastfeeding. And, also, if there's ANY chance it helps with PPD, I have to try it.
There are lots of people on this board who are well-loved and confused. I suppose it's not so bad.
TBH French fries from Sonic and Chick-fil-a aren't that bad...
And shoe-string fries from In-n-Out, but that's the only thing on their menu I like.
Chik-Fil-A fries are the best. I wish I could say I boycott them because of BELIEFS, but really there isn't one near here at all, and I haven't eaten at one in at least 15 years.
@SPurp13 She wasn't saying what you think... She was saying her church teaches the Bible straight, word for word. But I'm sure the other conversation wouldn't go over well anyway
I'm more confused than when I STARTED now.
Wait, so if her church teaches the Bible straight, does that mean she believes in strict interpretation of the Bible? Was that stated anywhere?
That's what I THOUGHT, but now maybe not?
I was ready to go down that road, but I could not.
No, you are right. It should mean a "strict interpretation" of the Bible.
However, I sincerely doubt her church teaches that to a T. They certainly don't teach a strict interpretation of the Old Testament (think: animal sacrifice, and tents for women on their period). They most likely don't teach a strict interpretation of the New Testament (think: giving away all your possessions and women wearing head coverings).
Let me tell you how going down that road will go: you will win. You just will.
There is only one person here who said anything about a strict/straight interpretation of the Bible. I doubt anyone else will come up to bat for that.
On a personal note, I dislike that the terms "blindly" and "koolaid" have been used to describe the entirety of those who believe in God. Many people (no, not all) are thoughtful about what they believe. No offense taken, but may it be noted that that can be hurtful. @pnwlover12 No hard feelings about those words, just wanted you to know.
@SPurp13 She wasn't saying what you think... She was saying her church teaches the Bible straight, word for word. But I'm sure the other conversation wouldn't go over well anyway
I'm more confused than when I STARTED now.
Wait, so if her church teaches the Bible straight, does that mean she believes in strict interpretation of the Bible? Was that stated anywhere?
That's what I THOUGHT, but now maybe not?
I was ready to go down that road, but I could not.
No, you are right. It should mean a "strict interpretation" of the Bible.
However, I sincerely doubt her church teaches that to a T. They certainly don't teach a strict interpretation of the Old Testament (think: animal sacrifice, and tents for women on their period). They most likely don't teach a strict interpretation of the New Testament (think: giving away all your possessions and women wearing head coverings).
Let me tell you how going down that road will go: you will win. You just will.
There is only one person here who said anything about a strict/straight interpretation of the Bible. I doubt anyone else will come up to bat for that.
On a personal note, I dislike that the terms "blindly" and "koolaid" have been used to describe the entirety of those who believe in God. Many people (no, not all) are thoughtful about what they believe. No offense taken, but may it be noted that that can be hurtful. @pnwlover12 No hard feelings about those words, just wanted you to know.
I meant no offense, but those are just words that help me describe my feelings on it...I don't have a thesaurus handy. I'm sorry if it upset you.
I occasionally call my girls princesses. Not in a demeaning way but in an endearing way. I'm a sap but i love the part in The Little Princess when Shirley Temple goes on about how all little girls are princesses (regardless of money, status, looks, etc)...and should be treated as such. Not that I think that girls should be limited in any way, nor do I think that their talents and intelligence should be minimized or overlooked, I just think it's a sweet way to treat them ( as long it's not in a spoiling way that might lead to a sense of entitlement). But, as a woman, I feel like I want it all in general, which probably isn't realistic. My feminist side wants equal opportunity, equal pay, right to have a child and work if I choose, etc., but my old fashioned side also wants men to still hold the doors for women and give up a seat on the subway, be treated like a princess by my husband, stay at home with my children if I choose, etc. I guess I want to have my cake and eat it too. Im just rambling now but bottom line: I don't think it has to be a negative thing to call your little girl a princess, as long as it's coming from the right place.
Teaching. Explaining. Not condemning for not following. Of course in today's time we believe we are sinners and that's why we need Christ. So teaching for understanding. Not to tell some one how to live.
On a personal note, I dislike that the terms "blindly" and "koolaid" have been used to describe the entirety of those who believe in God. Many people (no, not all) are thoughtful about what they believe. No offense taken, but may it be noted that that can be hurtful. @pnwlover12 No hard feelings about those words, just wanted you to know.
But she didn't use the word blindly to describe an entire group of believers. She said that WHEN people blindly follow, it can be annoying. I didn't take it as insulting a whole group of religious peeps. You know who comes across as someone that blindly follows because her posts make zero sense but we don't know that for sure....
@SPurp13 She wasn't saying what you think... She was saying her church teaches the Bible straight, word for word. But I'm sure the other conversation wouldn't go over well anyway
I'm more confused than when I STARTED now.
Wait, so if her church teaches the Bible straight, does that mean she believes in strict interpretation of the Bible? Was that stated anywhere?
That's what I THOUGHT, but now maybe not?
I was ready to go down that road, but I could not.
No, you are right. It should mean a "strict interpretation" of the Bible.
However, I sincerely doubt her church teaches that to a T. They certainly don't teach a strict interpretation of the Old Testament (think: animal sacrifice, and tents for women on their period). They most likely don't teach a strict interpretation of the New Testament (think: giving away all your possessions and women wearing head coverings).
Let me tell you how going down that road will go: you will win. You just will.
There is only one person here who said anything about a strict/straight interpretation of the Bible. I doubt anyone else will come up to bat for that.
On a personal note, I dislike that the terms "blindly" and "koolaid" have been used to describe the entirety of those who believe in God. Many people (no, not all) are thoughtful about what they believe. No offense taken, but may it be noted that that can be hurtful. @pnwlover12 No hard feelings about those words, just wanted you to know.
That's fair, kid. I'm not the one that said it, but it COULD have easily have been me. I never want to say I think NO ONE should be religious or believe in god. I try to word things very carefully, but I, like others, fail sometimes. I just wanted you to know that I respect you and what you choose to believe in. It's just not for me. And just in some of your posts with more...difficult people, it's hard for me to say some of the things I've said about others (like, oh, you're RELIGIOUS? After the shit you have been pulling around these parts?) to you. Which means, you know, you're doin' it right.
AND, there are many people who DO blindly believe. Those people I do have less respect for. If people truly believe in god and feel strongly about it and have a connection? That's really good for them. I failed to be able to do that. So, I wasn't going to "blindly" believe. There are, unfortunately, at least here, a LOT of people who just go with it because that's how they were raised, and they never actually think about what they are believing or doing or how they should be living if that's truly what they believe.
So, at least to me, there's a distinction between the kool-aid drinkers and the people who believe in god, but are respectful of those who don't, and they take time to write the kind of responses you have written today.
Re: ::UO::
@pnwlover12
I will hush now.
I'll mention all of the above to my husband.
I talked to my OB (well, the NP) about being depressed, and she said what I suspected (and was my gut feeling), which was to tough it out until the baby's born (rather than start taking something right now). It's, in theory, no longer than 3.5 weeks away. But in the meantime, that I should call my GP to let her know I need to see her asap to talk to her about maybe getting a prescription, but not taking it until the baby is here. So, I made that call today. And my husband and I are both going to the therapist together Sunday.
The past two nights have been really, really good. My husband, after 2 weeks of just crying with me, because he doesn't know how to fix this, just started holding me constantly (that sounds really fucking lame). He's always been affectionate, but when I walk in the house, I just feel so much calmer. Whereas before, I would walk in the house and just immediately cry because my day was spent fighting tears, and I'd be so stressed about going to bed because I'd have nothing to do but THINK. But he's been filling the downtime with white noise, if that makes sense. He's changing the subject, and flipping on the TV, etc. He's really trying. I'm slightly concerned about when I go on maternity leave and have the house to myself, but that's only 8 week days, and 2 of those he will be working from home, and I made appointments on some of the others, so I'm not just sitting and crying by myself.
Plus I have you guys.
I'm feeling scared about PPD...but more hopeful than I felt on Monday and Tuesday, for sure.
I think it would be easier if I was a person of religion, I have many friends and family who are...but I just don't like the kool-aid.
Arby's curly fries? YES. Long John's? YES. Burger King's? YES. Wendy's? Alright.
But NOOOOOOT McDonald's. No.
And speaking of McDonald's, your UO made me think of Jim Gaffagin (sp?) and his bit about Mcdonalds. He is hilarious, so thanks for that.
Arby's curly fries? YES. Long John's? YES. Burger King's? YES. Wendy's? Alright.
But NOOOOOOT McDonald's. No.
Long John's has the WORST fries.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
TFMC 08.02.13 at 19+ weeks. Everyday I grieve for my little Olive.
I snorted. Awesome summary.
I was ready to go down that road, but I could not.
TBH French fries from Sonic and Chick-fil-a aren't that bad...
And shoe-string fries from In-n-Out, but that's the only thing on their menu I like.
Surprise! BFP 3/7/2013, Missed MC, D&C @ 7w5d
BFP 12/10/2013, Natural MC @ 5w1d
BFP 2/15/2014...Katia Elizabeth is due 10/23/2014!
Surprise! BFP 3/7/2013, Missed MC, D&C @ 7w5d
BFP 12/10/2013, Natural MC @ 5w1d
BFP 2/15/2014...Katia Elizabeth is due 10/23/2014!
There are lots of people on this board who are well-loved and confused. I suppose it's not so bad.
I was ready to go down that road, but I could not.
No, you are right. It should mean a "strict interpretation" of the Bible.
I meant no offense, but those are just words that help me describe my feelings on it...I don't have a thesaurus handy. I'm sorry if it upset you.
Who in the hell loves negative attention. I wanted to clarify.
AND, there are many people who DO blindly believe. Those people I do have less respect for. If people truly believe in god and feel strongly about it and have a connection? That's really good for them. I failed to be able to do that. So, I wasn't going to "blindly" believe. There are, unfortunately, at least here, a LOT of people who just go with it because that's how they were raised, and they never actually think about what they are believing or doing or how they should be living if that's truly what they believe.
So, at least to me, there's a distinction between the kool-aid drinkers and the people who believe in god, but are respectful of those who don't, and they take time to write the kind of responses you have written today.