Intro and Question (warning: child mentioned in siggie)

katie0919 · September 2014

Hi Ladies -

Let me just start off by saying I am so very sorry that all of you have experienced losses - this is something I would never wish upon anyone in the world. Big hugs to all of you.

I found out Tuesday (and confirmed yesterday) that my pregnancy will not be viable. I should be almost 8 weeks, and baby has been measuring 6 weeks over the course of the last week in 3 separate sonograms. The embryo still has a weak heartbeat, so my RE sent me home to stop the Progesterone supplements and try to pass the pregnancy naturally. If nothing happens in 7-10 days, we will schedule a D&C.

The idea of the surgery scares me - I have never been under before and I worry about the risks to my uterus or cervix - even if slight. But I am also scared of miscarrying at home, and how long this process might take. She also said I only have a 50/50 chance of entirely miscarrying on my own, so it's likely I will need a D&C anyway.

I'm 35 and not getting any younger and would like to try again as soon as possible even though I am terrified to go through this again. The sooner I can move on, the better. My question is, has anyone miscarried at home this way - without miso or a D&C? Sitting around and waiting for this to start is already agony.

Again, I am so sorry for all of your losses.

ctk181 · September 2014

Unfortunately, I can't offer any advice on natural mc since I went the D&C route after my MMC was discovered for a bunch of reasons but I wanted to say I am so sorry for your loss and that you are going through this. Take care of yourself.

purplehaze11 · September 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. I've unfortunately had the experience of both a d&c and a natural m/c (aided by the pill). The d&c was quick, and done with, while waiting for my body to carry this out naturally has been a long journey (I'm 50 days post m/c and still waiting for hcg to leave my system). This past m/c began without me even being aware there was an issue, but the OB recommended the pill to ensure I shedded all of the tissue.

tlc35 · September 2014

I am sorry to hear of your loss. I hope that once you stop the progesterone, your body will do its job. I opted for a D&C because I had to travel for work the following week so I don't have any good experience there.

KingLED · September 2014

I'm sorry for your loss. My last loss I let them pass naturally and it was so incredibly draining emotionally. If I could go back and get the D&C instead, I would hands down. I've had multiple D&Cs and never have I had any complications or anything. I would really recommend it if you're on the fence. However, it's a very personal choice and you just need to do what's right for you.

centralperk · September 2014

I remember you from the May 15 board and sadly I think I am joining you over here.

My first loss was an ectopic and I had surgery to remove it so I did not really bleed all that much after surgery and my period came 4 weeks later. Overall the physical progress was not too bad.

Miscarrying at home: This is going to be TMI
I am pretty sure I am in the process of miscarrying. I woke up around midnight last night to pretty painful back pain and nausea. (I have been spotting/light bleeding through this whole pregnancy so I wasn\t all that hopeful) I got up to go to the bathroom and felt this huge gush of fluid. I pretty much soaked through my underwear and pants.

It felt kind of like a running facet. I thought it stopped so I went to go lay back down but then felt the same rush maybe 30 minutes later along with some mild cramping. I starting passing some clots and knew in my heart it was over. It's pretty awful. I have never had clotting so I wasn't sure what to expect. The whole time I felt like I needed to throw up. The worse was feeling the clots coming out. I pretty much was in the bathroom the rest of the night. Each time I would try to get up and go lay on the couch I could feel my pad was soaked so eventually I gave up and just brought the ipad in the bathroom with me for some kind of mental relief. It has now slowed down and I mainly feel like I am having a really bad period.

I honestly don\t know which is better. Each has there pros and cons. I guess if you are at all queasy over blood or bodily things I would opt for the d&c. I think getting over the physical mental images of the clots and what I am guess was the sacs is going to take me awhile.

I am so sorry you have to make this decision.

If you do decide to try naturally I would have the following things ready in the bathroom:

A couple pair of underwear and some pants/shorts whatever your comfortable in
A lot of pads
Plenty of toilet paper
A warm wash cloth for helping anything that gets stuck and it feels smoothly
Hot water bottle for cramps/back ache
Some old towels....to put down on the floor

FigureSkater8 · September 2014

Hello and sad to see you here- I think I was also on your month board.

You have to make the right choice for you...but I just literally got home from my first D&C and it was not a big deal (from a physical perspective). I was dreading it so much- I hate hospitals. Just to possibly ease your fears if you go that route- my experience is below. (There's also a great thread on D&Cs and other things on the second announcement for this board):

I went in at 1:30pm- did paperwork for 30 minutes, was called back and put on a hospital bed and changed into a gown. My husband sat with me. I was feeling teary and kind of "comatose" about the whole thing. By 2:30pm they put an IV in my arm (not a big deal) and started giving me a little fluids and anti-anxiety medicine. At about 3pm they said they were wheeling me to the OR. Once there they put a little mask on my face with oxygen. That's the last thing I remember.

I woke up and felt groggy and strangely happy (meds). the clock said 4pm. I felt no pain, I could feel my arms and legs (no residual sedative effects), and just talked to my husband. I was so happy that I literally had not felt or experienced anything related to the actual surgery

Before going through this, I was scared I'd be sore down there like after childbirth but it barely felt like anything had happened at all. Certainly not like I'd had surgery. I felt a little crampy and stingy when I had to pee, but it was OK. Just a little bleeding and wearing a pad. I asked for a percoset just in case, and took it, and was home by 5:30pm. My husband brought in dinner and I have been fairly comfortable resting in my bed (where I still am) all evening.

Now I know I could have more cramping or bleeding in the next few days. But I wanted to say my D&C experience over-all so far was fairly positive. I'm relieved it's over. For me, I couldn't stand the uncertainty and trauma of experiencing it at home. Again- just me.

Hugs and best wishes with whatever you decide.

meredithcarole · September 2014

So sorry for your loss. There is a thread at the top of the page that gives some idea of what to expect from all options. Feel free to join us on TTCAL and/or TTC > 35 if and when you are ready.

katie0919 · September 2014

centralperk FigureSkater8 I'm so sorry you lost your pregnancies also.

It looks like my body decided to do it's thing....I started cramping badly on Sunday, then yesterday afternoon I got more intense cramps and started to spot...then shortly after I had watery type bleeding.

@centralperk - I felt a gush, just like what you described....it was very watery and tinged pinkish red. Then about a hour and a half later, I went to the bathroom before bed and the sac with the embryo came out....it was a bit larger than a golf ball size. I was so surprised. Today I have only medium flow bleeding, but intense cramps. I hope I can pass the rest of this on my own. I'm waiting on a call back from my RE so I can go in for the rhogham shot. Ugh, this is not how I wanted all this to go at all. It's so strange to think I'm not pregnant anymore....but I'm in such limbo right now.

Thanks again everyone, and I am so sorry for everyone's losses!!

katie0919 · September 2014

petitchou1019 - yes ma'am - the RE actually wants to give me a sono tomorrow which I think is too soon? Won't it take longer to pass everything? I am still heavily cramping and only medium type of bleeding. They want to start drawing betas tomorrow as well. Their goal is to get me KU asap so I don't think they will let me wait around long, but I thought it would take some time to pass everything.

I see by your signature that you had a D&C after retained tissue was found, looks like 3 months after your miscarriage? I'm so sorry you went through what you did! This is what scares me a bit about miscarrying naturally.

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