It's FRIIIIIDAYYYY!!!!

Aussie45 · September 2014

pevila · September 2014

Gastro said:

@pevila honestly you seem desperate to become part of this elite class you always talk about. And you are pissed you got the ultimate snub- sending the nanny! You are perpetuating this cycle. Now you are putting someone else down. I don't care if you hang out with the nanny or not- what the mom did was awkward. but, that's where it should have ended. Not I'm not hanging out with the nanny because she's of a lower class. And then you continue defend it and use your culture as the excuse, and that's low.

How do I seem desperate?

raraavis28 · September 2014

@pevila: The question burning in my mind is, how do you think the nanny would feel about this? Do you think she would be more comfortable hanging w/ the housekeeper b/c that is closer to "what people do"? If so, that's more of a case for the cultural difference.....like if moms never hang out w/ nannies and it would be weird for everyone, it might seem snobby to us, but then again, what's "snobby," "friendly," and "polite" are very cultural-dependent things.

If this is just your personal preference and you're saying "Nope, it's one thing to make awkward conversation w/ a new mom but I'm not even going to give this nanny a chance b/c obv it's not like we're ever going to be besties" well.....yeah, that sounds pretty darn snobby.....

pevila · September 2014

raraavis28 said:

@pevila: The question burning in my mind is, how do you think the nanny would feel about this? Do you think she would be more comfortable hanging w/ the housekeeper b/c that is closer to "what people do"? If so, that's more of a case for the cultural difference.....like if moms never hang out w/ nannies and it would be weird for everyone, it might seem snobby to us, but then again, what's "snobby," "friendly," and "polite" are very cultural-dependent things.

If this is just your personal preference and you're saying "Nope, it's one thing to make awkward conversation w/ a new mom but I'm not even going to give this nanny a chance b/c obv it's not like we're ever going to be besties" well.....yeah, that sounds pretty darn snobby.....

Ok, I will be very honest: A nanny is in a different "scale" in employment than a housekeeper, and maybe she would feel bad, but my housekeeper is very nice and a lady and I'm sure the nanny would be more comfortable with her than me.

I will be downstairs supervising the nanny and my housekeeper while they play with the children. I'm controling like that.

Moms never hang out with nannies. That's why I wrote the first thread where I talked about this. If you go to a park, nannies get together with their charges and mom get together with their children. You never see a mixed group. And before someone asks how I know they're nannies it's because nannies wear uniforms.

It may all seem very Downton Abbey to you, but that's how things stand.

That doesn't mean I don't kiss the nanny hello and make polite conversation with her, but a two-hour playdate with her would be difficult for me, and I'm sure for her.

Aussie45 · September 2014

If I don't take a nap soon, I'm going to punch someone. I'm in a really bad mood because I've gotten such shitty amounts of sleep this week, but it's my own damn fault because I go to bed so late.

On a related note, I'm afraid if I go to sleep I wont wake up for a long time. I'm taking DD over to MILs to nap and she's watching her tonight because I have wedding rehearsal and groom's dinner. I could totally see myself falling asleep and then not waking up to my alarms.

And I have to be up at 6 tomorrow. I hate mornings.

notkateanymore · September 2014

pevila said:

Gastro said:

@pevila honestly you seem desperate to become part of this elite class you always talk about. And you are pissed you got the ultimate snub- sending the nanny! You are perpetuating this cycle. Now you are putting someone else down. I don't care if you hang out with the nanny or not- what the mom did was awkward. but, that's where it should have ended. Not I'm not hanging out with the nanny because she's of a lower class. And then you continue defend it and use your culture as the excuse, and that's low.

How do I seem desperate?

You do talk about money/class very often.

pevila · September 2014

JellyBellyStarr said:

Gastro said:

Gastro said:

@pevila honestly you seem desperate to become part of this elite class you always talk about. And you are pissed you got the ultimate snub- sending the nanny! You are perpetuating this cycle. Now you are putting someone else down. I don't care if you hang out with the nanny or not- what the mom did was awkward. but, that's where it should have ended. Not I'm not hanging out with the nanny because she's of a lower class. And then you continue defend it and use your culture as the excuse, and that's low.

How do I seem desperate?
You are obsessed with this elite class and it's not just this post. It comes up nearly every time you post.

This and unless something drastically changes it sounds like you'll always be on the outside looking in on the class you desperately hope to emulate.

It may have come accross like this. I have to confess that I'm feeling a bit nervous about DD going to her new school in 2016. But it's not about class. I'm a bit socially awkward.

pevila · September 2014

I went through my post history quickly and I only found the post about the nanny and the post about DD's school that mentions class.

Maybe that's how you perceive me, but not how I am.

zbeesma86 · September 2014

pevila said:

I think you're judging me from your own culture without really knowing mine. It's fine. I know we're different.

You aren't from outer space- why can't you just make nice and talk to the nanny? You are going to be in your own home. No one will know, if that's what you are worried about.

This makes me super sad. If this is cultural, is this how all nannies are treated?? Kind of a messed up cycle if you ask me. These women can't be seen interacting with the nanny yet they are raising their children to grow up and the same thing.

Aussie45 · September 2014

pevila said:

Moms never hang out with nannies. That's why I wrote the first thread where I talked about this. If you go to a park, nannies get together with their charges and mom get together with their children. You never see a mixed group. And before someone asks how I know they're nannies it's because nannies wear uniforms.
It may all seem very Downton Abbey to you, but that's how things stand.
That doesn't mean I don't kiss the nanny hello and make polite conversation with her, but a two-hour playdate with her would be difficult for me, and I'm sure for her.

You know, if you had opened with this instead of have a holier than thou aura around all your post, then this whole post probably would've gone differently. Feeling like it would be difficult to make conversation =/= I won't hang out with nannies because no other mom does and I can't have my reputation tarnished.

Either way, the segregation thing of moms and nannies is silly.

pevila · September 2014

cjcouple said:

Not only are they treated like that, but they need to be supervised.
Why would you even employ someone you don't trust? It is funny that nannies
are viewed so poorly but they parents have no qualms about them helping to
raise their children!!!!

This is absurd. I need to just step away

That's why I don't have a nanny. What other parents do for childcare is their problem.

penguingrrl · September 2014

pevila said:

raraavis28 said:

@pevila: The question burning in my mind is, how do you think the nanny would feel about this? Do you think she would be more comfortable hanging w/ the housekeeper b/c that is closer to "what people do"? If so, that's more of a case for the cultural difference.....like if moms never hang out w/ nannies and it would be weird for everyone, it might seem snobby to us, but then again, what's "snobby," "friendly," and "polite" are very cultural-dependent things.

If this is just your personal preference and you're saying "Nope, it's one thing to make awkward conversation w/ a new mom but I'm not even going to give this nanny a chance b/c obv it's not like we're ever going to be besties" well.....yeah, that sounds pretty darn snobby.....

Ok, I will be very honest: A nanny is in a different "scale" in employment than a housekeeper, and maybe she would feel bad, but my housekeeper is very nice and a lady and I'm sure the nanny would be more comfortable with her than me.
I will be downstairs supervising the nanny and my housekeeper while they play with the children. I'm controling like that.
Moms never hang out with nannies. That's why I wrote the first thread where I talked about this. If you go to a park, nannies get together with their charges and mom get together with their children. You never see a mixed group. And before someone asks how I know they're nannies it's because nannies wear uniforms.
It may all seem very Downton Abbey to you, but that's how things stand.
That doesn't mean I don't kiss the nanny hello and make polite conversation with her, but a two-hour playdate with her would be difficult for me, and I'm sure for her.

Okay, now that's just weird. You trust this woman to clean your home but will be down there to supervise but don't want to be alone with the nanny? That's weird and pretty rude.

Aussie45 · September 2014

pevila said:
That's why I don't have a nanny. What other parents do for childcare is their problem.

But you'll pay your housekeeper to stay later to watch your kid, but not actually watch your kid, just pretend like she's watching your kid while the nanny and her talk so you don't have to talk to the nanny?

Huh.

raraavis28 · September 2014

penguingrrl said:

pevila said:

raraavis28 said:

@pevila: The question burning in my mind is, how do you think the nanny would feel about this? Do you think she would be more comfortable hanging w/ the housekeeper b/c that is closer to "what people do"? If so, that's more of a case for the cultural difference.....like if moms never hang out w/ nannies and it would be weird for everyone, it might seem snobby to us, but then again, what's "snobby," "friendly," and "polite" are very cultural-dependent things.

If this is just your personal preference and you're saying "Nope, it's one thing to make awkward conversation w/ a new mom but I'm not even going to give this nanny a chance b/c obv it's not like we're ever going to be besties" well.....yeah, that sounds pretty darn snobby.....

Ok, I will be very honest: A nanny is in a different "scale" in employment than a housekeeper, and maybe she would feel bad, but my housekeeper is very nice and a lady and I'm sure the nanny would be more comfortable with her than me.
I will be downstairs supervising the nanny and my housekeeper while they play with the children. I'm controling like that.
Moms never hang out with nannies. That's why I wrote the first thread where I talked about this. If you go to a park, nannies get together with their charges and mom get together with their children. You never see a mixed group. And before someone asks how I know they're nannies it's because nannies wear uniforms.
It may all seem very Downton Abbey to you, but that's how things stand.
That doesn't mean I don't kiss the nanny hello and make polite conversation with her, but a two-hour playdate with her would be difficult for me, and I'm sure for her.

Okay, now that's just weird. You trust this woman to clean your home but will be down there to supervise but don't want to be alone with the nanny? That's weird and pretty rude.

Yeah, I'm w/ penguin. I'm pretty open-minded about cultural differences and just taking them for what they are, but if you're going to be in the same room anyway, why can't you talk to the nanny? And if you're bringing in the housekeeper to make the nanny more comfortable, why are you making yourself the odd one out? Having a hard time wrapping my head around this one....

MomIn2013 · September 2014

I've only ever met one family with a nanny and I can absolutely say I'd much rather hang out with my kids and the nanny than my kids and the mom.

And Fez is hot.

And I just ate a Mr. Big chocolate bar for lunch.

HeatherS2010 · September 2014

My kid is probably going to watch TV all afternoon. I'm trying to get the toddler to nap and he won't do it, my back is killing me and I'm feeling kind of down today. I tried to take them to the library but the 3 year old just screamed and hit me with that robot arm.

catycate · September 2014

feffany said:

mamaalysson said:

Sidestepping the whole mess above me. FFC 1: I let DD watch 8 episodes of Handy Manny yesterday to keep her from waking up a fitfully sleeping DS. FFC2: Handy Manny is kind of sexy. I think it's the toolbelt and the accent. No? Just me?

Unless you're willing to transcend classes, you better not get in too deep with Handy Manny. He is a blue collar Latino, after all. He understands, though.

Dead.

barnwife · September 2014

I'm only read to page 3...I rarely post in UO/FFC, but today I need to.
@pevila, all I can say is thank goodness my Peruvian SIL is not like you. At all. Nor is her family (well, to be fair, I've never met them in person. But, I've chatted with them various times. And various members of DH's family have enjoyed visiting them.)

Anyway, I just want to say that while there are cultural differences, please don't paint all Peruvians out to be aw awful as your FFC makes them out to be.

Andrewsgal · September 2014

Gastro said:

@pevila honestly you seem desperate to become part of this elite class you always talk about. And you are pissed you got the ultimate snub- sending the nanny! You are perpetuating this cycle. Now you are putting someone else down. I don't care if you hang out with the nanny or not- what the mom did was awkward. but, that's where it should have ended. Not I'm not hanging out with the nanny because she's of a lower class. And then you continue defend it and use your culture as the excuse, and that's low.

This so much this! It is so obvious you don't fit in with the upper class you so desperately crave to be so you make yourself feel better by looking down on others. Cultural or not this is more about your issues than anything else.

spring_time · September 2014

pevila said:

raraavis28 said:

@pevila: The question burning in my mind is, how do you think the nanny would feel about this? Do you think she would be more comfortable hanging w/ the housekeeper b/c that is closer to "what people do"? If so, that's more of a case for the cultural difference.....like if moms never hang out w/ nannies and it would be weird for everyone, it might seem snobby to us, but then again, what's "snobby," "friendly," and "polite" are very cultural-dependent things.

If this is just your personal preference and you're saying "Nope, it's one thing to make awkward conversation w/ a new mom but I'm not even going to give this nanny a chance b/c obv it's not like we're ever going to be besties" well.....yeah, that sounds pretty darn snobby.....

Ok, I will be very honest: A nanny is in a different "scale" in employment than a housekeeper, and maybe she would feel bad, but my housekeeper is very nice and a lady and I'm sure the nanny would be more comfortable with her than me.
I will be downstairs supervising the nanny and my housekeeper while they play with the children. I'm controling like that.
Moms never hang out with nannies. That's why I wrote the first thread where I talked about this. If you go to a park, nannies get together with their charges and mom get together with their children. You never see a mixed group. And before someone asks how I know they're nannies it's because nannies wear uniforms.
It may all seem very Downton Abbey to you, but that's how things stand.
That doesn't mean I don't kiss the nanny hello and make polite conversation with her, but a two-hour playdate with her would be difficult for me, and I'm sure for her.

You sound like you are a social climber. It now explains why your feelings were so hurt when this woman, whose DH's family is one of the richest in Peru, seemed to snub you. She was your ticket in the door, but I change my answer from before. She did snub you. In her mind, you are below her. She probably can't think of what she could possibly talk about with you. I mean, what could you possibly have in common? In order to avoid any awkward conversations with you, she sent someone below you to play with the kids. Now you are sending someone below the nanny to avoid cohorting with the help. What's the nanny's next move? Sounds like a whole lot of snobbery on a whole lot of different levels.

Also, how do you expect to combat this mom/mom and nanny/nanny crisis when you are not on the same playing field? I assume most the people in that elite class are employing nannies for their children. How do you expect to set up any sort of playdates if you don't have a nanny, but yet refuse to hang out with nannies yourself? Sounds pretty lonely for your DD. I am sure you want her to hang out with the "right" people, so you should probably start looking into hiring a nanny so everyone can avoid these uncomfortable situations.

thechickencoop · September 2014

DH drove through Wendy's for his lunch today and brought it home ( just for him, DS and I had already eaten here). He left half of his frosty on the kitchen counter when he just left to go meet a friend and I hid it in our downstairs freezer.

It will be MINE after bedtime later!!!! Oh, and when H is in the shower. Shhhhh.....frooooostyyyy.

\:D/

pevila · September 2014

Andrewsgal said:

Gastro said:

@pevila honestly you seem desperate to become part of this elite class you always talk about. And you are pissed you got the ultimate snub- sending the nanny! You are perpetuating this cycle. Now you are putting someone else down. I don't care if you hang out with the nanny or not- what the mom did was awkward. but, that's where it should have ended. Not I'm not hanging out with the nanny because she's of a lower class. And then you continue defend it and use your culture as the excuse, and that's low.

This so much this! It is so obvious you don't fit in with the upper class you so desperately crave to be so you make yourself feel better by looking down on others. Cultural or not this is more about your issues than anything else.

We've never met so there's no way you would now what I desperately crave nor where I fit or not.

pevila · September 2014

spring_time said:

pevila said:

raraavis28 said:

@pevila: The question burning in my mind is, how do you think the nanny would feel about this? Do you think she would be more comfortable hanging w/ the housekeeper b/c that is closer to "what people do"? If so, that's more of a case for the cultural difference.....like if moms never hang out w/ nannies and it would be weird for everyone, it might seem snobby to us, but then again, what's "snobby," "friendly," and "polite" are very cultural-dependent things.

If this is just your personal preference and you're saying "Nope, it's one thing to make awkward conversation w/ a new mom but I'm not even going to give this nanny a chance b/c obv it's not like we're ever going to be besties" well.....yeah, that sounds pretty darn snobby.....

Ok, I will be very honest: A nanny is in a different "scale" in employment than a housekeeper, and maybe she would feel bad, but my housekeeper is very nice and a lady and I'm sure the nanny would be more comfortable with her than me.
I will be downstairs supervising the nanny and my housekeeper while they play with the children. I'm controling like that.
Moms never hang out with nannies. That's why I wrote the first thread where I talked about this. If you go to a park, nannies get together with their charges and mom get together with their children. You never see a mixed group. And before someone asks how I know they're nannies it's because nannies wear uniforms.
It may all seem very Downton Abbey to you, but that's how things stand.
That doesn't mean I don't kiss the nanny hello and make polite conversation with her, but a two-hour playdate with her would be difficult for me, and I'm sure for her.

You sound like you are a social climber. It now explains why your feelings were so hurt when this woman, whose DH's family is one of the richest in Peru, seemed to snub you. She was your ticket in the door, but I change my answer from before. She did snub you. In her mind, you are below her. She probably can't think of what she could possibly talk about with you. I mean, what could you possibly have in common? In order to avoid any awkward conversations with you, she sent someone below you to play with the kids. Now you are sending someone below the nanny to avoid cohorting with the help. What's the nanny's next move? Sounds like a whole lot of snobbery on a whole lot of different levels.

Also, how do you expect to combat this mom/mom and nanny/nanny crisis when you are not on the same playing field? I assume most the people in that elite class are employing nannies for their children. How do you expect to set up any sort of playdates if you don't have a nanny, but yet refuse to hang out with nannies yourself? Sounds pretty lonely for your DD. I am sure you want her to hang out with the "right" people, so you should probably start looking into hiring a nanny so everyone can avoid these uncomfortable situations.

Not all moms have nannies. Not by a long shot. In fact, this mom that is sending her nanny told me that most of the other moms in her DD's class (she has a 6 year old) are SAHMs with no nanny. It's better not to assume.

pevila · September 2014

barnwife said:

I'm only read to page 3...I rarely post in UO/FFC, but today I need to.
@pevila, all I can say is thank goodness my Peruvian SIL is not like you. At all. Nor is her family (well, to be fair, I've never met them in person. But, I've chatted with them various times. And various members of DH's family have enjoyed visiting them.)

Anyway, I just want to say that while there are cultural differences, please don't paint all Peruvians out to be aw awful as your FFC makes them out to be.

You just won't know if you don't meet them, won't you? And it's not something that might come up in casual conversation, or even something a person might admit.

notkateanymore · September 2014

Just. Give. It. Up...

thechickencoop · September 2014

Oh...I'll add another... I just ordered a few leggings and tops from Kohl's lol. That's a confession, right?

Andrewsgal · September 2014

pevila said:

Andrewsgal said:

Gastro said:

@pevila honestly you seem desperate to become part of this elite class you always talk about. And you are pissed you got the ultimate snub- sending the nanny! You are perpetuating this cycle. Now you are putting someone else down.

I don't care if you hang out with the nanny or not- what the mom did was awkward. but, that's where it should have ended. Not I'm not hanging out with the nanny because she's of a lower class. And then you continue defend it and use your culture as the excuse, and that's low.

This so much this! It is so obvious you don't fit in with the upper class you so desperately crave to be so you make yourself feel better by looking down on others. Cultural or not this is more about your issues than anything else.

We've never met so there's no way you would now what I desperately crave nor where I fit or not.
You make it painfully and embarrassingly obvious.

pevila · September 2014

Andrewsgal said:

Andrewsgal said:

Gastro said:

@pevila honestly you seem desperate to become part of this elite class you always talk about. And you are pissed you got the ultimate snub- sending the nanny! You are perpetuating this cycle. Now you are putting someone else down. I don't care if you hang out with the nanny or not- what the mom did was awkward. but, that's where it should have ended. Not I'm not hanging out with the nanny because she's of a lower class. And then you continue defend it and use your culture as the excuse, and that's low.

This so much this! It is so obvious you don't fit in with the upper class you so desperately crave to be so you make yourself feel better by looking down on others. Cultural or not this is more about your issues than anything else.

We've never met so there's no way you would now what I desperately crave nor where I fit or not.
You make it painfully and embarrassingly obvious.

Based on a few posts on an Internet forum? I don't believe there's such a thing as mind reading.

Aussie45 · September 2014

pevila said:

Andrewsgal said:

pevila said:

Andrewsgal said:

Gastro said:

@pevila honestly you seem desperate to become part of this elite class you always talk about. And you are pissed you got the ultimate snub- sending the nanny! You are perpetuating this cycle. Now you are putting someone else down.

I don't care if you hang out with the nanny or not- what the mom did was awkward. but, that's where it should have ended. Not I'm not hanging out with the nanny because she's of a lower class. And then you continue defend it and use your culture as the excuse, and that's low.

This so much this! It is so obvious you don't fit in with the upper class you so desperately crave to be so you make yourself feel better by looking down on others. Cultural or not this is more about your issues than anything else.

We've never met so there's no way you would now what I desperately crave nor where I fit or not.

You make it painfully and embarrassingly obvious.

Based on a few posts on an Internet forum? I don't believe there's such a thing as mind reading.

Well, I didn't go to public school so I can read AND read minds. That makes me better than you right?

Aussie45 · September 2014

I seriously don't understand how you can be so thick that you can't see how your posts come across as you're better than nannies and housekeepers. The reason there's segregation at the parks is because no one is willing to cross that bridge. The idea that you think that just because someone has a different job than you or educational background could IN NO WAY have ANYTHING in common with YOU is just ludicrous.

I can't wait till some high class snobby bitch comes by and knocks your ass right off that high horse

goillini823 · September 2014

@pevila‌ just stop. The more you talk, the dumber you sound.

mandymack · September 2014

@lalamama81 - were they the Organic applesauce, apples & berries, apples & bananas mix?!? I just got home from Costco and those were on sale at my store. I bought 2 boxes

spring_time · September 2014

Aussie45 said:

I seriously don't understand how you can be so thick that you can't see how your posts come across as you're better than nannies and housekeepers. The reason there's segregation at the parks is because no one is willing to cross that bridge. The idea that you think that just because someone has a different job than you or educational background could IN NO WAY have ANYTHING in common with YOU is just ludicrous. I can't wait till some high class snobby bitch comes by and knocks your ass right off that high horse

The lady who wouldn't attend a playdate with her already did. Her feelings were hurt by it.

It's ok, though, the housekeeper and nanny probably aren't smart enough to understand they are being snubbed.

Seriously, though, when there are kids involved, there is ALWAYS something to talk about.

Cherryblossoms07 · September 2014

I get the strong impression that the neighbor girl is no longer able to come over and play any more. Her mom must have got word that her kids coming over here ALL the time was annoying me and it bothered her. A small part of me feels like a b#$%%, but mostly I am feeling like <:-P . No more of her sending her kids over every day for me to watch, no more kids sneaking into my house at all hours,.....!

rosesandpetals · September 2014

Personally, I don't see how making conversation with a nanny is weirder than standing nearby and supervising the maid make conversation with the nanny. What are you going to do if they get off topic? Dock their pay? Change their uniform to leggings and crocs?

So weird.

Andrewsgal · September 2014

Aussie45 said:
I seriously don't understand how you can be so thick that you can't see how your posts come across as you're better than nannies and housekeepers. The reason there's segregation at the parks is because no one is willing to cross that bridge. The idea that you think that just because someone has a different job than you or educational background could IN NO WAY have ANYTHING in common with YOU is just ludicrous.

I can't wait till some high class snobby bitch comes by and knocks your ass right off that high horse

She already did she sent nanny because she could not lower herself to @pevila‌ social class.

Aussie45 · September 2014

spring_time said:

Aussie45 said:

I seriously don't understand how you can be so thick that you can't see how your posts come across as you're better than nannies and housekeepers. The reason there's segregation at the parks is because no one is willing to cross that bridge. The idea that you think that just because someone has a different job than you or educational background could IN NO WAY have ANYTHING in common with YOU is just ludicrous.

I can't wait till some high class snobby bitch comes by and knocks your ass right off that high horse

The lady who wouldn't attend a playdate with her already did. Her feelings were hurt by it.

It's ok, though, the housekeeper and nanny probably aren't smart enough to understand they are being snubbed.

Seriously, though, when there are kids involved, there is ALWAYS something to talk about.

I know. I want another snobby bitch to do it again though

Aussie45 · September 2014

Cause clearly, the first time wasn't enough for her to realize that it sucks when someone does that to you.

notkateanymore · September 2014

I GOT MY NEW PHONE...IDGAF if somebody is judging me for getting a new phone.

ordinary1 · September 2014

pevila said:

spring_time said:

pevila said:

raraavis28 said:

b

Not all moms have nannies. Not by a long shot. In fact, this mom that is sending her nanny told me that most of the other moms in her DD's class (she has a 6 year old) are SAHMs with no nanny. It's better not to assume.
I tried to cut down the quote tree and I hope it worked.

Does anyone else see the irony in this statement?

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It's FRIIIIIDAYYYY!!!!

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