Those who have been shamed by a doctor about their weight....

kcisthebombdotcom · September 2014

WDYD?
So I went to my drs this morning and he made a very rude comment about my weight. Not a constructive criticism kind of comment but just Plain rude. He's super socially awkward, I could tell he immediately felt embarrassed about it and honestly I was so shocked I just stood there with my mouth hanging open. Part of me wants to address it and part of me wants to let it go. I admit my view is colored because I don't doubt my child will say socially awkward comments in a not mean spirited way and I hope people don't hold it against her. Wwyd-let it go or say something?

bumpuser8448316 · September 2014

Well what did he say?

kcisthebombdotcom · September 2014

QueSyrah said:

Well what did he say?

I excluded the exact comment solely because I wanted real answers, not to get accused of a bragplaint.

bumpuser8448316 · September 2014

Well based on that then I'm assuming you're overreacting

kcisthebombdotcom · September 2014

amy052006 said:

Real answer -- a doctor's job is to monitor your health. Sometimes they are blunt. Not everything is shaming.

It wasn't a pcp who weighed me and bluntly told me to gain/lose a few pounds. It was a specialist I hadn't seen in some time who blurted out something rude when he saw me. It was no doubt shaming.

bumpuser8448316 · September 2014

Well if you're bothered by it, complain and/or switch doctors. Problem solved, right? This isn't difficult.

kcisthebombdotcom · September 2014

QueSyrah said:

Well if you're bothered by it, complain and/or switch doctors. Problem solved, right? This isn't difficult.

Switching doctors isn't an option. Don't we have like a million posts of am I overreacting about x or not a day? This is no different. I wanted to see how people who have been through something similar have handled it. It's not that unusual.

MomIn2013 · September 2014

It's hard to know for sure what I'd do without knowing exactly what was said, but in trying to imagine some possibilities my hypothetical response ranges from saying something like "I beg your pardon?", to see if he'd backpedal/apologize/etc., to letting it go completely, since I don't really give a rat's ass what he thinks and it's not worth my time/breath to make an issue out of it.

kcisthebombdotcom · September 2014

scatteredtrees said:

FFS, KC. You're skinny. We know. This is the dumbest thing you've ever posted, especially under the guise of fat-shaming.

This is exactly my point. Fat shaming gets all the Sorries. Thin shaming means you're bragging. I have been fat and thin and I can tell you regardless of the number on the scale when someone says something mean about your body it sucks.

bumpuser924057 · September 2014

Yes, I have, though obviously not in the same way. I was told very frankly by a perinatologist that I was too fat to carry twins and should really consider a selective reduction. I left that appointment in tears and told my OB, who was horrified, and when I had to go back to the office I called and told them I didn't want to be seen by that doctor ever again. The other doctor in the practice was a generally very nice and gentle person, but I wasn't impressed when I was diagnosed with GD and he told me "No chocolate cake for breakfast," as if that's what fat people do, eat cake for breakfast every day 8-| I don't know if I would classify that as shaming, though, it was just an offhand ass-y comment.

I find it difficult to imagine a doctor "shaming" anyone for being thin, since it seems like that's the #1 thing they want for everyone.

kcisthebombdotcom · September 2014

scatteredtrees said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

scatteredtrees said:

FFS, KC. You're skinny. We know. This is the dumbest thing you've ever posted, especially under the guise of fat-shaming.

This is exactly my point. Fat shaming gets all the Sorries. Thin shaming means you're bragging. I have been fat and thin and I can tell you regardless of the number on the scale when someone says something mean about your body it sucks.

I'm sorry your feelings were hurt by your doctor but you had to know this post would go over like a fart in church.

Meh, there's a good amount of noobs here. There's still time.

bumpuser8448316 · September 2014

Okay well...I'm sorry you're so skinny. I mean, seriously? Unless you're anorexic or your low weight is causing serious health concerns then you need to get thicker skin and brush it off. The reason people who are fat shames get all the sorries is because people make all kinds of rude assumptions. They only eat mcdonalds, they don't exercise, they're not trying. And being very overweight can cause serious health concerns so it does need to be addressed. You only posted this so that everyone would pat your hair and give you all the sorries for being so skinny. Not gonna happen.

thechickencoop · September 2014

scatteredtrees said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

scatteredtrees said:

FFS, KC. You're skinny. We know. This is the dumbest thing you've ever posted, especially under the guise of fat-shaming.

This is exactly my point. Fat shaming gets all the Sorries. Thin shaming means you're bragging. I have been fat and thin and I can tell you regardless of the number on the scale when someone says something mean about your body it sucks.

I'm sorry your feelings were hurt by your doctor but you had to know this post would go over like a fart in church.

::snort::

bumpuser8448316 · September 2014

Also, maybe if you weren't so obnoxious about everything all the time people would be reacting differently. You know, flies and honey and all that.

Beth.1212 · September 2014

Criticisms hurt, whether they're because you're "too" tall, short, fat, thin, pale, dark, smart, dumb, etc. I do believe that people that are overweight get more negative attention than those that are underweight, so it's probably tougher to be overweight as a rule of thumb, but that doesn't negate the harm done when someone insults an underweight person.

FTR, I have been struggling to lose weight for a while. This post isn't coming from a skinny minnie.

OP, I'd let it go unless it became a pattern. We all say dumb things sometimes, and given that he was embarrassed, I'm betting he was kicking himself after.

kcisthebombdotcom · September 2014

QueSyrah said:

Okay well...I'm sorry you're so skinny. I mean, seriously? Unless you're anorexic or your low weight is causing serious health concerns then you need to get thicker skin and brush it off. The reason people who are fat shames get all the sorries is because people make all kinds of rude assumptions. They only eat mcdonalds, they don't exercise, they're not trying. And being very overweight can cause serious health concerns so it does need to be addressed. You only posted this so that everyone would pat your hair and give you all the sorries for being so skinny. Not gonna happen.

You caught me! I just knew that everyone would feel so sorry and be so supportive (hence why I put the exact words in the original post after all) and we'd all brush each other's hair and sing kumbaya. I can't get anything past you guys!

bumpuser924057 · September 2014

Also, having read some of the rest of this thread, I'd like to add that I don't personally think there really is such a thing as "thin shaming," since in our society there is no shame in being thin. There is envy of those who have attained the ideal, there is concern for those who have gone past it, but there just is not the same kind of systemic shame that goes along with being fat.

But, you know, I've never been thin enough to experience it, so I guess I don't really know how the other side lives. That's just my perception from this side of the spectrum.

notkateanymore · September 2014

kcisthebombdotcom said:

QueSyrah said:

Well if you're bothered by it, complain and/or switch doctors. Problem solved, right? This isn't difficult.

Switching doctors isn't an option. Don't we have like a million posts of am I overreacting about x or not a day? This is no different. I wanted to see how people who have been through something similar have handled it. It's not that unusual.

If switching doctors isn't an option, why the hell are you complaining?

kcisthebombdotcom · September 2014

notkateanymore said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

QueSyrah said:

Well if you're bothered by it, complain and/or switch doctors. Problem solved, right? This isn't difficult.

Switching doctors isn't an option. Don't we have like a million posts of am I overreacting about x or not a day? This is no different. I wanted to see how people who have been through something similar have handled it. It's not that unusual.

If switching doctors isn't an option, why the hell are you complaining?

Did you actually read the op or do you just like to hear yourself talk? It was a simple question.

bumpuser8448316 · September 2014

kcisthebombdotcom said:

QueSyrah said:

Okay well...I'm sorry you're so skinny. I mean, seriously? Unless you're anorexic or your low weight is causing serious health concerns then you need to get thicker skin and brush it off. The reason people who are fat shames get all the sorries is because people make all kinds of rude assumptions. They only eat mcdonalds, they don't exercise, they're not trying. And being very overweight can cause serious health concerns so it does need to be addressed. You only posted this so that everyone would pat your hair and give you all the sorries for being so skinny. Not gonna happen.

You caught me! I just knew that everyone would feel so sorry and be so supportive (hence why I put the exact words in the original post after all) and we'd all brush each other's hair and sing kumbaya. I can't get anything past you guys!

Where are the exact words? I still think without the actual comment this is all out of context. We can't judge if we don't fully know the situation.

jensriot · September 2014

thecheshirekat said:

Also, having read some of the rest of this thread, I'd like to add that I don't personally think there really is such a thing as "thin shaming," since in our society there is no shame in being thin. There is envy of those who have attained the ideal, there is concern for those who have gone past it, but there just is not the same kind of systemic shame that goes along with being fat.

But, you know, I've never been thin enough to experience it, so I guess I don't really know how the other side lives. That's just my perception from this side of the spectrum.

Maybe it's not shaming, but people see no problem joking about thin people. Coworkers would say things about my food choices all the time when I was "too skinny." Hearing "Just eat a burger" over and over sucks. Someone actually reported me to HR for suspected bulimia. I think because thin people should be happy to be thin, people don't always filter their comments. I totally agree that the shaming and criticism of overweight people is far more prevalent though. - coming from a former skinny minnie

dmartin726 · September 2014

I need to know the exact comment....My answer will vary depending on if the DR said:

Wow, you've really been working to keep in shape, huh?

OR

Do you need money for lunch?

fintin · September 2014

Here let me help you out. Most aren't going to feel bad for you because your doctor made a comment about you needing to gain weight. Do I personally think it was a humble brag? Meh probably not. But there are too many women in general who battle with being overweight or obese and the last thing they want to hear is you complain about your doc thinking your too skinny.

bumpuser8448316 · September 2014

jensriot said:

thecheshirekat said:

Also, having read some of the rest of this thread, I'd like to add that I don't personally think there really is such a thing as "thin shaming," since in our society there is no shame in being thin. There is envy of those who have attained the ideal, there is concern for those who have gone past it, but there just is not the same kind of systemic shame that goes along with being fat.

But, you know, I've never been thin enough to experience it, so I guess I don't really know how the other side lives. That's just my perception from this side of the spectrum.

Maybe it's not shaming, but people see no problem joking about thin people. Coworkers would say things about my food choices all the time when I was "too skinny." Hearing "Just eat a burger" over and over sucks. Someone actually reported me to HR for suspected bulimia. I think because thin people should be happy to be thin, people don't always filter their comments. I totally agree that the shaming and criticism of overweight people is far more prevalent though. - coming from a former skinny minnie

hold the phone. What were they expecting HR to do? This person obviously doesn't know bulimia very well (says a recovered bulimic).

Andrewsgal · September 2014

Since everyone is nicely going around in circles let me put it our there. A lot of us don't buy for one second that a doctor skinny shamed you. You are making it up as an "aw just in case you guys forgot I am skinny" way.

Andrewsgal · September 2014

Oh and BTW I have been obese and I have been underweight skinny shaking although real doesn't even come close to hurting like fat shaming. Like not even close.

jensriot · September 2014

QueSyrah said:

jensriot said:

thecheshirekat said:

Also, having read some of the rest of this thread, I'd like to add that I don't personally think there really is such a thing as "thin shaming," since in our society there is no shame in being thin. There is envy of those who have attained the ideal, there is concern for those who have gone past it, but there just is not the same kind of systemic shame that goes along with being fat.

But, you know, I've never been thin enough to experience it, so I guess I don't really know how the other side lives. That's just my perception from this side of the spectrum.

Maybe it's not shaming, but people see no problem joking about thin people. Coworkers would say things about my food choices all the time when I was "too skinny." Hearing "Just eat a burger" over and over sucks. Someone actually reported me to HR for suspected bulimia. I think because thin people should be happy to be thin, people don't always filter their comments. I totally agree that the shaming and criticism of overweight people is far more prevalent though. - coming from a former skinny minnie

hold the phone. What were they expecting HR to do? This person obviously doesn't know bulimia very well (says a recovered bulimic).

I don't have freaking clue. The lady in HR, that I knew pretty well, called me to her office to let me know that someone on my floor thought I might be bulimic and were just concerned for my health. She wouldn't disclose who or why (lest I figure out who). It made me angry and embarrassed and suspicious of all my co workers. It wasn't the first time someone voiced their concerns about my weight.

Andrewsgal · September 2014

olivegoose said:
Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I seem to remember you making a reputation for yourself with fat shaming comments on Parenting a while back.

Yes and also a reputation for letting everyone know how skinny she is.

jensriot · September 2014

After re-reading, I obviously still have feelings about it, LOL. And this isn't a bragplaint from me. I certainly don't have those problems anymore.

dmartin726 · September 2014

scatteredtrees said:

Andrewsgal said:

Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I seem to remember you making a reputation for yourself with fat shaming comments on Parenting a while back.
Yes and also a reputation for letting everyone know how skinny she is.

and remember when she said there were so many c-sections because everyone is so fat?

WHAT??? what does that even mean? What does one have to do with another??

Andrewsgal · September 2014

Oh yeah the low fat low calorie milk is making out kids obese. But KC is skinny! Did you know that? It's because she drinks real milk!

notkateanymore · September 2014

Andrewsgal said:

Oh and BTW I have been obese and I have been underweight skinny shaking although real doesn't even come close to hurting like fat shaming. Like not even close.

This 100 times over..."you need to eat a sandwich" was a hell of a lot easier to hear than "are you pregnant again?"

notkateanymore · September 2014

gwapes said:

Soooo are you going to tell us what he said?

She didn't get that far in her brainstorming of the lie before she posted...she'll be back after she figures it out, I mean remembers the exact comment.

Chapter79 · September 2014

"wow, you're so.... skinny!" is that the comment?

I have a hard time thinking a doctor would even blurt this out.

Andrewsgal · September 2014

notkateanymore said:

gwapes said:

Soooo are you going to tell us what he said?

She didn't get that far in her brainstorming of the lie before she posted...she'll be back after she figures it out, I mean remembers the exact comment.

This is what I was thinking you should always keep lies simple. They get to specific you are screwed. You know like groceries vs shoes

notkateanymore · September 2014

What I want to know is...how the hell do you stay so skinny with all the crackers you eat?

lyingliarlies · September 2014

gwapes said:

olivegoose said:

Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I seem to remember you making a reputation for yourself with fat shaming comments on Parenting a while back.

@lyingliarlies I need a link, stat.

I'm mobile only. Yes, I feel inadequate.

(

kcisthebombdotcom · September 2014

CnAmom said:

She wanted to remind us all that even her doctor thinks she's skinny. Duh.

Meh, if I wanted to AW I could have easily posted Lookie I'm wearing leggings as pants today!!11!!! And attachéd pictures. Honest to god, it was a legit question.

notkateanymore · September 2014

kcisthebombdotcom said:

CnAmom said:

She wanted to remind us all that even her doctor thinks she's skinny. Duh.

Meh, if I wanted to AW I could have easily posted Lookie I'm wearing leggings as pants today!!11!!! And attachéd pictures. Honest to god, it was a legit question.

Stuck in a box---

Bad fashion choices are nothing to brag about. Now tell us what the hell he said, maybe we were wrong...

minerswife17 · September 2014

discobelle said:

No one can really answer your question if we don't know what was said...

I have a feeling we will never know.... :-??

kcisthebombdotcom · September 2014

dmartin726 said:

scatteredtrees said:

Andrewsgal said:

Correct me if I'm mistaken, but I seem to remember you making a reputation for yourself with fat shaming comments on Parenting a while back.
Yes and also a reputation for letting everyone know how skinny she is.

and remember when she said there were so many c-sections because everyone is so fat?

WHAT??? what does that even mean? What does one have to do with another??

This one is actually true as something I said. It sees that many blame the increasing section rate on doctors who don't want to miss tee time. I mentioned the obesity epidemic plays a role as obesity during pregnancy is related to conditions like large fetal weight, pre-e and GD which Increase the risk for a need for csection, Of course, that was twisted into KC hates the fatties!!!11!!! In bump land.

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