Those who have been shamed by a doctor about their weight....

notkateanymore

Oh come the fuck on...again, if it were that one comment, you don't have issues...but your constant talking about weight, fat vs. skinny, food, etc. is what makes all of this complete BS.

kcisthebombdotcom

gwapes said:

I think if it was a legit question, you would have said what you were told, so others could answer your "legit" question. 

I obviously knew this would spiral with the regs that love to hate KC but I was hoping to get some real answers before that happened (and thanks to those of you who did, btw). The truth is skinny shaming isn't taken real seriously. Heck I've seen multiple page threads of people posting a picture of a woman in a bikini with hip bones protruding calling her disgusting and no one batting an eyelash but if the tables were turned the person would have been flamed off the bump in record time.

kcisthebombdotcom

gennyu said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

CnAmom said:

She wanted to remind us all that even her doctor thinks she's skinny. Duh.

Meh, if I wanted to AW I could have easily posted Lookie I'm wearing leggings as pants today!!11!!! And attachéd pictures. Honest to god, it was a legit question.

So you are admitting then that when you DID post a picture of yourself in leggings (with your shirt pulled up to expose your stomach, no less) you were being an AW??

Nope but don't you think that's a little more effective than a doctor thinks I'm skinny??,

NicoleWI

You can contact patient services if you wish and make an anonymous comment/complaint. I did that once when I had issues with a very rude and unhelpful pediatrician (not DD's usual doctor).

kcisthebombdotcom

gennyu said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

gennyu said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

CnAmom said:

She wanted to remind us all that even her doctor thinks she's skinny. Duh.

Meh, if I wanted to AW I could have easily posted Lookie I'm wearing leggings as pants today!!11!!! And attachéd pictures. Honest to god, it was a legit question.

So you are admitting then that when you DID post a picture of yourself in leggings (with your shirt pulled up to expose your stomach, no less) you were being an AW??

Nope but don't you think that's a little more effective than a doctor thinks I'm skinny??,

In all honesty, no.  You're not as hot as you think you are.  Pictures don't lie.

Well I don't think I'm hot so I guess we are on the same page here.

Andrewsgal

Skinny shaming is a fucking joke! Like I said I have been skinny and fat shamed there is zero comparison. It is simply an easy way to aw how thin you are.

Andrewsgal

kcisthebombdotcom said:

gennyu said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

gennyu said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

CnAmom said:

She wanted to remind us all that even her doctor thinks she's skinny. Duh.

Meh, if I wanted to AW I could have easily posted Lookie I'm wearing leggings as pants today!!11!!! And attachéd pictures. Honest to god, it was a legit question.

So you are admitting then that when you DID post a picture of yourself in leggings (with your shirt pulled up to expose your stomach, no less) you were being an AW??

Nope but don't you think that's a little more effective than a doctor thinks I'm skinny??,


In all honesty, no.  You're not as hot as you think you are.  Pictures don't lie.





Well I don't think I'm hot so I guess we are on the same page here.


People who don't think they are hot don't post pictures on a private group formed just to aw themselves. Nor do they constant brag how skinny they are. You think you are the shit and your actions make that obvious.

kcisthebombdotcom

Andrewsgal said:

Skinny shaming is a fucking joke! Like I said I have been skinny and fat shamed there is zero comparison. It is simply an easy way to aw how thin you are.

Yes, that's how life works. The second your pants become below a certain size you become so self confident others words don't bother you so if someone called something about your body disgusting you wouldn't care. Right on as usual, AG. I'm actually calling bs you were ever skinny shamed.

Andrewsgal

kcisthebombdotcom said:

Andrewsgal said:

Skinny shaming is a fucking joke! Like I said I have been skinny and fat shamed there is zero comparison. It is simply an easy way to aw how thin you are.

Yes, that's how life works. The second your pants become below a certain size you become so self confident others words don't bother you so if someone called something about your body disgusting you wouldn't care. Right on as usual, AG. I'm actually calling bs you were ever skinny shamed.

Just like you weren't skinny shamed today?

Keeptruckin

Well, my advice is also going to be biased by the fact my kid has autism like yours and she will no doubt go through life making these comments. I haven't read all the responses but from what I read I'm guessing he said something like you are looking haggard and too skinny? I get that from my dad all the time, on paper it sounds nice to have people say you look skinny. The comments I get make me feel old, my dad will say, a few pounds will round out your face, make you look better etc. so it's definitely insulting lol! Given that he looked embarrassed I would not take it any further.

ToastieSimons

well maybe my view is colored because of the amount of specialists we see and because DS1 is super skinny. As a mother, it's upsetting when a doctor makes an assy comment or is super critical of my son's weight. Like I refuse to feed him, etc. I don't know, I guess personally, I would be upset especially if I wasn't there for that reason. Like If i went to the neurologist and he told me I had ugly feet. Or if I went to the dermatologist and she made some nasty comment about me being too skinny. I'm not there for those reasons. But, then I know, that most doctors who are specialists have terrible bedside manners and I've learned to brush most of it off. There are only a few comments left behind that still get under my skin. I say, brush it off. if you go back and he says something as asinine, then put him in his place. "I don't appreciate you making comments about that".

magentawarped

Is skinny shaming real? Yes. But in 99.99% of cases, it's far less hurtful and malicious than fat shaming. Don't like what he said? Report him or change doctors. Don't want to take those options? Quitcherbitchin. I had a doctor refuse to treat my back pain at all because I "need to lose a few pounds and it'll feel better." My SIL was told that she was "too fat to get pregnant." Compare that to your socially awkward skinny comment and decide if it's a big deal.

And I really want to know what he said.

Chapter79

nowababy said:

I feel like I'm in high school. Or middle school.

.. and talking in circles.

kcisthebombdotcom

magentawarped said:

Is skinny shaming real? Yes. But in 99.99% of cases, it's far less hurtful and malicious than fat shaming. Don't like what he said? Report him or change doctors. Don't want to take those options? Quitcherbitchin. I had a doctor refuse to treat my back pain at all because I "need to lose a few pounds and it'll feel better." My SIL was told that she was "too fat to get pregnant." Compare that to your socially awkward skinny comment and decide if it's a big deal. And I really want to know what he said.

You do realize women can be told they're too thin to get pregnant too right? These comments can be reversed to replace too thin...

magentawarped

kcisthebombdotcom said:

magentawarped said:

Is skinny shaming real? Yes. But in 99.99% of cases, it's far less hurtful and malicious than fat shaming. Don't like what he said? Report him or change doctors. Don't want to take those options? Quitcherbitchin. I had a doctor refuse to treat my back pain at all because I "need to lose a few pounds and it'll feel better." My SIL was told that she was "too fat to get pregnant." Compare that to your socially awkward skinny comment and decide if it's a big deal.

And I really want to know what he said.

You do realize women can be told they're too thin to get pregnant too right? These comments can be reversed to replace too thin...

Were you told that you were too skinny to get pregnant at this visit? Or refused treatment because you were skinny? If not, irrelevant.

bumpuser924057

jensriot said:

thecheshirekat said:

Also, having read some of the rest of this thread, I'd like to add that I don't personally think there really is such a thing as "thin shaming," since in our society there is no shame in being thin. There is envy of those who have attained the ideal, there is concern for those who have gone past it, but there just is not the same kind of systemic shame that goes along with being fat.

But, you know, I've never been thin enough to experience it, so I guess I don't really know how the other side lives. That's just my perception from this side of the spectrum.

Maybe it's not shaming, but people see no problem joking about thin people. Coworkers would say things about my food choices all the time when I was "too skinny." Hearing "Just eat a burger" over and over sucks. Someone actually reported me to HR for suspected bulimia. I think because thin people should be happy to be thin, people don't always filter their comments. I totally agree that the shaming and criticism of overweight people is far more prevalent though. - coming from a former skinny minnie

I don't doubt that those comments sting. Unwelcome commentary on your body is unwelcome, no matter what the nature. But the "eat a sandwich" comments usually come from a place of envy, and reporting you to HR for bulimia is concern, whether they were off the mark on that or not. Even when people say they're disgusted by how skeletal someone is, they usually see it as a cry for help, not a scornful lack of self-control.

Andrewsgal

I was told I was too thin to have a healthy pregnancy and that I needed to eat a banana split. Still hurt a million times less than being told I was fat.

Keeptruckin

ToastieSimons said:

well maybe my view is colored because of the amount of specialists we see and because DS1 is super skinny. As a mother, it's upsetting when a doctor makes an assy comment or is super critical of my son's weight. Like I refuse to feed him, etc. I don't know, I guess personally, I would be upset especially if I wasn't there for that reason. Like If i went to the neurologist and he told me I had ugly feet. Or if I went to the dermatologist and she made some nasty comment about me being too skinny. I'm not there for those reasons. But, then I know, that most doctors who are specialists have terrible bedside manners and I've learned to brush most of it off. There are only a few comments left behind that still get under my skin. I say, brush it off. if you go back and he says something as asinine, then put him in his place. "I don't appreciate you making comments about that".

It's so true most specialists have bad beside manner. I am apt to think quite a few fall on the autism spectrum themselves lol! In DH's department some researchers have to spend so many hours with their trial participants to get grant money. Some are actually diagnosed and some should be lol!

minerswife17

This thread is going to end up having more comments than the clothes one and we still won't know what was said. 

Andrewsgal

olivegoose said:

@magentawarped >

Still no word of what the doctor actually said...

Surprised?

fancefpp

I'm willing to bet the comment wasn't even close to being insulting.

kcisthebombdotcom

magentawarped said:

magentawarped said:

Is skinny shaming real? Yes. But in 99.99% of cases, it's far less hurtful and malicious than fat shaming. Don't like what he said? Report him or change doctors. Don't want to take those options? Quitcherbitchin. I had a doctor refuse to treat my back pain at all because I "need to lose a few pounds and it'll feel better." My SIL was told that she was "too fat to get pregnant." Compare that to your socially awkward skinny comment and decide if it's a big deal. And I really want to know what he said.

You do realize women can be told they're too thin to get pregnant too right? These comments can be reversed to replace too thin...

Were you told that you were too skinny to get pregnant at this visit? Or refused treatment because you were skinny? If not, irrelevant.

You were making a general statement that skinny shaming hurts less/is less malicious. I was just saying your reasons could have been just as easily reversed the other way around. Wasn't implying that's what I was experiencing.

vlagrl29

Keeptruckin said:

Well, my advice is also going to be biased by the fact my kid has autism like yours and she will no doubt go through life making these comments. I haven't read all the responses but from what I read I'm guessing he said something like you are looking haggard and too skinny? I get that from my dad all the time, on paper it sounds nice to have people say you look skinny. The comments I get make me feel old, my dad will say, a few pounds will round out your face, make you look better etc. so it's definitely insulting lol! Given that he looked embarrassed I would not take it any further.

Yes, I use to get that from my mom during certain points of my first marriage and honestly I was too skinny (not in a good way), but the comments never made me feel any better.  When I was pregnant at my baby shower she brought out a photo of DH and I on our wedding day to "remind me of what I use to look like"……people should just keep their mouths shut.

kcisthebombdotcom

Andrewsgal said:

I was told I was too thin to have a healthy pregnancy and that I needed to eat a banana split. Still hurt a million times less than being told I was fat.

When I was heavier, I didn't have a single person say "wow, you're fat" to my face. Being thin I've been told I would actually be pretty if I ate a hamburger, that I was skin and bones with a look of disgust, I was accused of having an eating disorder, and I have heard protruding hip bones are disgusting. It's far, far more socially acceptable to make rude comments to a thinner persons face than a heavier persons one.

Andrewsgal

And hurts a hell of a lot less when you are skinny. Not that I even believe this went down today. But good job distracting with the skinny shaming vs fat shaming crap.

ababymaybe

Considering that being thin is considered ideal in our society, I think we can reasonably deduce the motivation behind many of those so-called thin shaming comments.

It doesn't excuse being rude, but it doesn't mean you have to make their problem (their issues with your body, whatever those may be) your problem too.

magentawarped

kcisthebombdotcom said:

magentawarped said:

kcisthebombdotcom said:

magentawarped said:

Is skinny shaming real? Yes. But in 99.99% of cases, it's far less hurtful and malicious than fat shaming. Don't like what he said? Report him or change doctors. Don't want to take those options? Quitcherbitchin. I had a doctor refuse to treat my back pain at all because I "need to lose a few pounds and it'll feel better." My SIL was told that she was "too fat to get pregnant." Compare that to your socially awkward skinny comment and decide if it's a big deal.

And I really want to know what he said.

You do realize women can be told they're too thin to get pregnant too right? These comments can be reversed to replace too thin...

Were you told that you were too skinny to get pregnant at this visit? Or refused treatment because you were skinny? If not, irrelevant.

You were making a general statement that skinny shaming hurts less/is less malicious. I was just saying your reasons could have been just as easily reversed the other way around. Wasn't implying that's what I was experiencing.

IME, if a doctor thinks someone is too thin, they tend to want to find solutions. Granted, that can be obnoxious if there are no health issues, but it's not meant to be insulting. If a doctor sees a fat person, they brush off any of their issues as being because they're fat. That's not only insulting, it's dangerous. Oh, and my SIL wasn't trying to get pregnant, she was trying to get birth control. She was basically told "You don't need it because you're too fat for your body to get pregnant in the first place."

Andrewsgal

olivegoose said:

I've been asked if I was pregnant when I wasn't at least 6 times, been moo'd at as I was walking down the street, had my grandma call me fat in front of my entire family, and had a L&D nurse say it was a good thing I got HG because I was obese.

But no one calls people fat to their face, right?

And it feels totes the same as being called skinny. NOT EVEN FUCKING CLOSE

magentawarped

And for fuck's sake, WHAT DID HE SAY TO YOU?

Andrewsgal

magentawarped said:

And for fuck's sake, WHAT DID HE SAY TO YOU?

She's still thinking how to make it seem really bad but realistic at the same time.

vlagrl29

I got lots of "fat" comments when I was pregnant - granted I gained 76lbs with her - Those comments were WAY worse than any skinny comment I ever got.  I pretty much cried when I got back in my car or at home.

minerswife17

olivegoose said:

I've been asked if I was pregnant when I wasn't at least 6 times, been moo'd at as I was walking down the street, had my grandma call me fat in front of my entire family, and had a L&D nurse say it was a good thing I got HG because I was obese. But no one calls people fat to their face, right?

I'm sorry. People suck. 

Andrewsgal

cjcouple said:

this post is totally obnoxious.

and now I want a banana split. damn you people!!!!

Seriously my OB told me I was too skinny and to eat them because they are a balanced meal nuts-protein banana-fruit ice cream-milk and of course the fat tons of fat

Andrewsgal

cjcouple said:

gwapes said:

cjcouple said:

this post is totally obnoxious.

and now I want a banana split. damn you people!!!!

go eat a cheeseburger. ffs. 

no. no. I fall in the OVERweight party. I have to drink whole milk, right?

Yep 10 glasses of high fat high calorie drinks will have you being skinny shamed in no time.

Andrewsgal

cjcouple said:

Andrewsgal said:

cjcouple said:

this post is totally obnoxious.

and now I want a banana split. damn you people!!!!

Seriously my OB told me I was too skinny and to eat them because they are a balanced meal nuts-protein banana-fruit ice cream-milk and of course the fat tons of fat

I absolutely believe you. my friend in high school is very thin and her dr said you need to gain 2 lbs or you are going on steroids. she would get up at midnight to eat chicken wings am burritos, sundaes etc.

4 kids, 20+ yrs later she is still extremely thin.

Sadly my story doesn't end the same but I am working on it. Lots of milk.

Andrewsgal

KC it should tell you something that it's not just the "mean old regulars" who don't believe you.

magentawarped

Okay, I'm just gonna go with, unless the comment was "Jesus, Skeletor, you could cut glass with those hipbones! Eat a freaking sandwich!" then you were not skinny shamed badly enough to make an issue of it.

dmartin726

All I'm getting from this is that I am probably too fat to be wearing leggings as pants.  Whoops. :@)

Chapter79

scatteredtrees said:

discobelle said:

I just texted my husband and asked him to pick up some cheeseburgers on his way home.  Y'all are making me hungry.

Yeah I just drove through Wendy's. I'd blame the pregnancy but... it's not even 7 weeks and I'm pretty sure cravings aren't a thing yet.

I'm not pregnant and want Wendy's, I'm just plump.

But actually, I just want the frosty. With fries.

likeanoldtimemovie

You GUYS. I just put old skinny pictures of me on the fridge and now I've decided that bitch needs to go because CHEESY MILKSHAKE FRIES.

Also, I don't want my doctor to be all "you look great, have you lost weight?" and I can be all WHY DO YOU SHAME ME