DD1 is in her second year of pre-K at the same school as last year. Last year, there were a couple of issues with 2 "mean girls" - saying that they didn't want to be friends with her, she couldn't play with them, etc.
The same 2 girls are in her class this year. We just started week 2, and it has started already. She was told that she couldn't play with them because her hair is different. She was sad and confused, and said, "I don't understand. I have beautiful hair. Why can't I play with them?" I was happy that she showed a little confidence, but so pissed that they're already giving her a hard time.
I told her to just stay away from them, but there are only 14 kids in the class, so that might be hard. When she asked what she should do when they say she can be their friend that day, I told her that it's up to her. She doesn't have to play with them, but she can if she wants. I also told her that they don't sound like very good friends.
Any advice? Should I alert the teacher? I want to cry. It's too early for this. She's only 4. =((
Re: Mean Girls
I would address it with the teacher. It's fine if all the kids aren't friends with each other but their "you are different so you are ostracized" is not cool.
The teachers can spend some time on character building and anti-bullying. It's something that does need to be addressed.
I agree make the teacher aware. But also, you are doing a great job making this a teachable moment at home. It's really important that we teach all children, but especially girls, to stand up for themselves. We've had to deal a similar but opposite issue both in K and now in 1st. Each year we've had a girl tell my daughter she couldn't play with anyone else. And she wants to play with everyone. We role play at home so my daughter can practice what to say and how to say it in a nice but firm way. We talk a lot about how she doesn't have to be friends with everyone but she needs to be kind to all.
I know how easy it is to be mama bear but keep up the good work helping her navigate these issues.
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I have such a hard time knowing the right thing to say at home. After this had happened a few times last year, DD1 and another girl told one of the offenders that she couldn't play with them, and we made a HUGE deal of it at home. From her reaction, she already knew that what she'd done was wrong, and took steps to make it right (colored the little girl a picture and gave it to her when she apologized).
I feel like my mom handled this stuff so well when I was a kid and it was my turn to be targeted by the bully. She gave great advice, I followed it, and the bully left me alone. But I was 12, not 4. @PrivacyWanted - I will check that out. How sad that we need tools like this...
I bought Kidpower Safety Comics for DS. It has age appropriate advice for dealing with bullies. DS loves it and asks to read it almost daily.
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Farida, our first child, born on the 19th of July 2014
Farida, at 8 weeks
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