Trash-talking Tuesday

kelbel527 · September 2014

@willy_gert - if you decide to go to Ikea, we have the Hemnes Bedroom set and really like it. It wasn't expensive at all and it's held up very well so far.

Like THT - I had a hard time biting the bullet on bedroom furniture and had a mis-match of stuff before. This was a good starter set for me because it wasn't expensive but it is decent quality and looks nice.

https://www.ikea.com/us/en/catalog/products/S19931592/

Flamingemu · September 2014

Holly_1007 said:

Um holy shit THT. That is ridiculous. So much ridiculousness. I don't blame you at all for wanting to do her birthday different next year. Wow.

This. Holy cow. I would be pissed too. Any chance your DH will talk to them for you about the missing books and sandwiches?

hmp1 · September 2014

For the bedroom, I'm not a fan of sets. Get a dresser from Ikea, do a simple mix matched night stand/ end table (maybe color if you like something a little more fun). Do a bed frame (from Craigslist) with an upholstered headboard.

Not sure your style but this is simple clean but fun look. Dresser and storage night stand from Ikea.

hmp1 · September 2014

Or this is more matchy and subtle, mostly Ikea.

hmp1 · September 2014

Hey, THT. Doesn't MIL watch W? I would be asking for them back when I pick her up. If you feel you need an excuse (you don't) just tell her you want to get a cute picture of W reading her new books in her room to send to the gifter. Sorry she stressed you out so much

It was a fantastic party.

BeebopandBuddy · September 2014

@tinyhumantoe‌ Your IL's need to be slapped. HARD.

I have to meet with my boss that no-showed on me yesterday and what has to be the world's most condescending co-worker this afternoon. I might get fired today.

melody921 · September 2014

Flamingemu said:

Holly_1007 said:

Um holy shit THT. That is ridiculous. So much ridiculousness. I don't blame you at all for wanting to do her birthday different next year. Wow.

This. Holy cow. I would be pissed too. Any chance your DH will talk to them for you about the missing books and sandwiches?

I don't even understand her motivation with the books. What is she doing with them?

tinyhumantoe · September 2014

I already feel better just venting on here. Maybe that will be what I need to let it go. I am letting the anger really get to me and things have been really nice with DH's family for the last year. I thought I got over being this worked up!

Here are the texts (I switched their names in my phone for posting). I lied about it being a text every hour, but pretty friggin close. To me it was pretty clear she felt bad about something to keep texting about stupid stuff... which part she felt bad about, who knows....

redneckmomma25 · September 2014

So, DH has been at this terrible job for a little over a month. It's 7 days a week, 12 hour shifts. He's had 2 days off and a lot of shifts have been 8 or 10 hours so not as terrible. We see him from about noon to 2. So we see him every day. I know I shouldn't complain. But I hate it. He was only supposed to be there 2 weeks because another job wanted him. They finally need him and put in the request for him and it was denied because there are no other drillers to replace him on this job.

He's been screwed over from the beginning. They didn't tell him it was 7 days a week when he accepted the job. Then 2 days after the other company called him telling him he could start. That's when the 2 weeks was agreed upon. Here we are over a month later and he's stuck there. I feel guilty every day when he leaves. I have G every waking moment of hers except Wednesday when MIL watches her. My sister took her for a night this past weekend, my dear sweet friend took her for a morning but she just had her second m/c so she is more of a mess than I am now.

G's birthday party is next weekend. The lawn hasn't been mowed in weeks. The patio is so overgrown, it needs to be weed whacked. I will have to take care of the basement which is DH's domain and I hate it. It's so gross. I try not to complain to DH because I know he doesn't want to be at this job and it totally sucks for him not having any time off. Woman do this every day. They have husband's deployed or they are single mother's. I am just not able to handle this. At least I will be out of 1st tri soon and may have some energy again soon. I can't tell you the last time I took G outside to play.

tinyhumantoe · September 2014

melody921 said:

I don't even understand her motivation with the books. What is she doing with them?

I don't know!!! Who would take a gift for someone else, from someone else home?! She really prides herself on reading books to W on the one day a week she has her, so maybe she was excited and it was a moment of idiocy? I am not exaggerating at all when I say it was 30 books.

SIL is due in December with her first, so the only other thing I can possibly think of is maybe she wanted to pick a few out for her? My friend is a mutual friend between SIL and me and MIL knows her. MIL was very proud that the friend asked her what kind of books W likes.... so I guess she felt some ownership in the books? I just don't get it. I've tried to think of reasons.

@hmp1 I am going to ask her if she minds sending some of the books home. I've also thought about texting her and asking if she has the books, because we couldn't find them to bring them home. Then she may spill the reason she took them. Is that passive aggressive? I see the bump fingers shaking at me saying tisk tisk, haha.

tinyhumantoe · September 2014

hmp1 said:

For the bedroom, I'm not a fan of sets. Get a dresser from Ikea, do a simple mix matched night stand/ end table (maybe color if you like something a little more fun). Do a bed frame (from Craigslist) with an upholstered headboard.

Not sure your style but this is simple clean but fun look. Dresser and storage night stand from Ikea.

This is so cute! I wish I would drop some money on my bedroom, but I can't pull the trigger.

melody921 · September 2014

redneckmomma25 said:

That all sounds like it sucks, a lot. You can only take so many 7-day shifts before both of you are exhausted from it. I hope things start getting a little easier.

MRoxy0628 · September 2014

tinyhumantoe said:

melody921 said:

I don't even understand her motivation with the books. What is she doing with them?

I don't know!!! Who would take a gift for someone else, from someone else home?! She really prides herself on reading books to W on the one day a week she has her, so maybe she was excited and it was a moment of idiocy? I am not exaggerating at all when I say it was 30 books.

SIL is due in December with her first, so the only other thing I can possibly think of is maybe she wanted to pick a few out for her? My friend is a mutual friend between SIL and me and MIL knows her. MIL was very proud that the friend asked her what kind of books W likes.... so I guess she felt some ownership in the books? I just don't get it. I've tried to think of reasons.

@hmp1 I am going to ask her if she minds sending some of the books home. I've also thought about texting her and asking if she has the books, because we couldn't find them to bring them home. Then she may spill the reason she took them. Is that passive aggressive? I see the bump fingers shaking at me saying tisk tisk, haha.

I don't think it's passive aggressive, unless she knows you saw her take the books. I do think her texts read like she is feeling guilty. The one thing I will say about the sandwiches, is that your husband's text back to her makes it sound like she was helping you guys out by "not letting them go to waste".

tinyhumantoe · September 2014

@redneckmomma25

Whoa, that is a really rough schedule. Is there anyone he can speak with about following through with what was originally promised and/or expected? It's a bind when you need the job, because you can't bargain as well (eta I meant as hard not well). I would not be doing well if I were in your shoes carrying all the weight

Unknown · September 2014

This content has been removed.

misscheapandchic · September 2014

Wow @tinyhumantoe‌ that's shitty

could you play dumb and mention that your missing an entire bag of books that your friend had picked especially for W? I don't know how you didn't flip out, I was losing my mind last year at Zekes party and that's part of the reason were keeping it small this year.
My cousin asked me the other day why we weren't having a big party for Zeke again this year and I was tempted to say "because I actually want to enjoy my child on his birthday this year instead of parenting other peoples children." Her kids were horrible last year and she didn't direct them at all. Her 4 year old stuck her fingers in the cake 3 times and tried to eat the fondant animals off the top and she did nothing to stop them. She also let her 3 and 1 year old walk while eating resulting in meat left in random places, frosting on the wall and a chewed up roll left in the couch cushions.
I feel kind of lazy for planning zekes party essentially around a football game but it's cheap and easy. I really wanted to do a terrible two's Godzilla themed party but would've had to DIY everything and since I'm back at work I just don't have the time. After seeing all these amazing parties though, the mom guilt is hitting me hard, which is silly becayse like Zeke cares as long as there's cake.

kelbel527 · September 2014

tinyhumantoe said:

melody921 said:

I don't even understand her motivation with the books. What is she doing with them?

I don't know!!! Who would take a gift for someone else, from someone else home?! She really prides herself on reading books to W on the one day a week she has her, so maybe she was excited and it was a moment of idiocy? I am not exaggerating at all when I say it was 30 books.

SIL is due in December with her first, so the only other thing I can possibly think of is maybe she wanted to pick a few out for her? My friend is a mutual friend between SIL and me and MIL knows her. MIL was very proud that the friend asked her what kind of books W likes.... so I guess she felt some ownership in the books? I just don't get it. I've tried to think of reasons.

@hmp1 I am going to ask her if she minds sending some of the books home. I've also thought about texting her and asking if she has the books, because we couldn't find them to bring them home. Then she may spill the reason she took them. Is that passive aggressive? I see the bump fingers shaking at me saying tisk tisk, haha.

I am totally passive aggressive when I want to avoid too much conflict. That's exactly what I would do.

I love books and would be seriously sad if we got a bunch of new books for a birthday and I didn't get to read them to my boys. I'm love having fresh stuff to read at bedtime.

AlinnJo · September 2014

@redneckmomma25‌ I. So sorry. You must be exhausted. My H works 6 days every week and I count down the days until Sunday. I can't imagine having him gone all day, every day. Especially since that is not what you thought it would be and you couldn't really prepare yourself for that. I hope he gets a new job soon and gets to be home more. Don't be afraid to ask for MORE help.

@tinyhumantoe‌ I can't even begin to understand your MIL. My MIL is crazy but yours takes the cake. I'd definitely try to get the books back. I can't believe she just took them. Call her out even if you do it in a subtle way.

redneckmomma25 · September 2014

tinyhumantoe said:

@redneckmomma25 Whoa, that is a really rough schedule. Is there anyone he can speak with about following through with what was originally promised and/or expected? It's a bind when you need the job, because you can't bargain as well. I would not be doing well if I were in your shoes carrying all the weight

It's union. There isn't anything we can do. If they cannot find someone to replace him on the job, he cannot leave. He can't quit because it looks bad on the union and him, blah blah blah. Politics. Otherwise he would just quite and go to the other job. It sucks. He is very well liked and wanted by a lot of companies. It just sucks that he accepted this job offer and they didn't tell him 7 days a week. Or he wouldn't have taken this job offer and would have waited a few more days. It's not an issue of him finding a job. He's in high demand so to speak. He's a smooth operator.

I am just tired. I'm tired of being tired and a lone. I'm tired of not having the patience to give G the attention she deserves. But, it is what it is. I can't do anything about it. Neither can DH or he would have already. He's just going to tell them that if he is staying he needs more days off and such.

tinyhumantoe · September 2014

@misscheapandchic LOL - you are doing the right thing IMO. I have really cute pictures, but we had the kid issues too. Fingers in the cake (the whole back side was licked off, ewww). Cousin opened all the gifts so we spent 20 minutes figuring out who got what. My FATHER crashed his drone (flying thing with camera) and it almost landed on the head of DH's fragile grandma; it probably would have killed her. Strangers (adults!) walking through the middle of our party shelter during the birthday song and other parts..... I just can't even figure that one out because who on earth would do that? Anyway.......................... I'm team no big party now. What a waste of money and I didn't get to enjoy my kid. Enjoy your kid

AlinnJo · September 2014

I'm annoyed with our new Meijer grocery store. Now that summer is over and all of the tourists are gone, they don't have many check outs open. I always do my grocery shopping Monday morning. The last two Mondays they have had ZERO checkout lanes open with a cashier. They only had self checkout with self bagging. I can barely make it through the whole trip keeping Quinn busy, let alone scanning everything myself AND bagging it too. I finally talked to a manager and told them how hard it was and hoped they would change their thinking. We will see if next Monday is any better. Thankfully I heard other people complaining too so that should help.

kelbel527 · September 2014

redneckmomma25 said:
G's birthday party is next weekend. The lawn hasn't been mowed in weeks. The patio is so overgrown, it needs to be weed whacked. I will have to take care of the basement which is DH's domain and I hate it. It's so gross. I try not to complain to DH because I know he doesn't want to be at this job and it totally sucks for him not having any time off. Woman do this every day. They have husband's deployed or they are single mother's. I am just not able to handle this. At least I will be out of 1st tri soon and may have some energy again soon. I can't tell you the last time I took G outside to play.

That's tough. I am sure you and your DH are just exhausted. And first tri is the hardest time, especially when you have an active toddler at home to care for too.

First of all - don't beat yourself up about not having energy to take G outside. First tri is all about survival mode.

Second - be realistic on yourself. If there's stuff you'd like to have done for the party, but it's necessary, skip it this year. I remember hosting a house-warming party when I was early pregnant with DS1 and I felt awful. Not everything was up to my typical standards, but no one noticed.

Also - is there someone you can call to help take care of the yard? I would totally call my Dad for FIL in that situation. Sounds like you've already called in reinforcements to help with G - that's a great way to make sure you get a break too.

Hope it gets better soon!

hmp1 · September 2014

I'm so sorry RNM. I know how much you were looking forward to your DH starting the new job. Hopefully they will be able to work something out soon. Can you ask for a 6 day schedule? It's better than quitting, even though he wouldn't do that.

tinyhumantoe · September 2014

@mroxy0628 I agree, it's exactly what he sounded like. He is more spineless than me, so between the two of us... we'll never confront the issues. I guess they don't matter in the big picture. DH took W to toys-r-us to buy her some books last night, haha. I think he was hoping that would make me drop it.

Ok, I'm officially moving on from the party mishaps. I feel really stupid for needing to vent. Thanks for letting me have a place to do it! ((like you had a choice))

tyrannasaurusjess · September 2014

tinyhumantoe said:
My final two complaints are:

When MIL left, she took a platter of JJ sandwiches and a 6 pack container of cupcakes She never asked me or DH if she could... DH said she made a laughing comment that she better take them off our hands "since Sam ordered way too many". ^#(^ As if I miscounted her no-show guests that RSVP'd! DH figured I told her she could. Anyway, that was $50 in sandwiches! And I was planning to take all leftovers to work for my shop guys

She also took one of the gifts someone bought for Winn. A friend that works at a publisher brought two canvas bags full of childrens books. I was so freaking excited. She took them with her! WHAT?! I honestly feel like crying (over books, so dumb) every time I think about it. I keep fantasizing about what to say to her about them. WHY??!?!? I seriously don't fucking get it, and I'm so angry with her that I am not going to ask her why on earth she took them until I cool down.

She obviously felt bad because she literally texted me every hour after the party ended with random texts. I never answered any of them. I am so upset with her. There are a million other things she did, but it all boils down to them being rude, obnoxious guests. (FIL was wiping his finger on the cake platter, licking, wiping, licking.......... while there was still cake on it.)

WTAF?! Why would she take one of W's presents? I mean, why would she take the good and desserts, also, but.... The presents? I'm sorry your ILs were a pain in the ass. That really blows!

hmp1 · September 2014

Bringing the Halloween talk here, sorry.

James is watching James and the Giant Peach during nap today. I was thinking it would be a cute costume since Leo is being the Fantastic Mr Fox. The outfit is easy enough and I can get a big peach balloon, attach a spider, ladybug, caterpillar to the string. I'm sure the teachers will love me bringing a giant balloon into the school, lol.

tinyhumantoe · September 2014

https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/3778611456/h1F78AEB2/

tinyhumantoe · September 2014

@redneckmomma25 I second the survival mode. I felt awful first tri, and I had a lot of help from DH. Now that I'm feeling good, I'm doing better with mom duties.

@alinnjo I stopped going to my grocery because of the self checkout only option. Ten items? Sure. A cart with $200 of food? Fawk no. It takes me a flippin hour.

redneckmomma25 · September 2014

FIL already offered to send a few of his employees over. So I will let him know that we need the help. DH won't ask for it so I need to. I would totally leave the basement but it is definitly a hang out. It has a bar, pool table, bathroom, couches, and video games. So I need it cleaned. and it is totally bug and spider infested from windows being open. We have so many spiders with all the trees surrounding us. So I just need to spend a nap and really vacuum it good. I will just make sure the house is neat and cleanish. I think every knows I'm not the greatest housekeeper.

willy_gert · September 2014

Thanks for all of the options ladies! I love them! Sorry to go MIA, I had to go to a lunch meeting. I am seriously thinking about doing just a bed frame like THT suggested and then making a headboard. I don't like a lot of the options out there and so I thought that would be a good cheap alternative. All we really need is a new mattress and a bed frame, so that might be a good cheap option.

As far as the clothing goes you guys gave great options! I was looking at a brown sweater at ON that I think I can make work with other stuff I have and I think I can get a good deal on a matching dress/ shirt for Luci.

Thank you ladies, you have made me much less frantic about these things.

kelbel527 · September 2014

hmp1 said:

Bringing the Halloween talk here, sorry.
James is watching James and the Giant Peach during nap today. I was thinking it would be a cute costume since Leo is being the Fantastic Mr Fox. The outfit is easy enough and I can get a big peach balloon, attach a spider, ladybug, caterpillar to the string. I'm sure the teachers will love me bringing a giant balloon into the school, lol.

That sounds like a really cute idea! They can always tie his balloon up somewhere out of reach if it's causing problems for any of the kids.

How's James feeling today?

Holly_1007 · September 2014

Is your H getting paid overtime for all those hours? If so, I would not hesitate to hire a housekeeper every couple of weeks, and maybe even look into hiring a sitter 1-2 afternoons a week. @redneckmomma25‌

redneckmomma25 · September 2014

Holly_1007 said:

Is your H getting paid overtime for all those hours? If so, I would not hesitate to hire a housekeeper every couple of weeks, and maybe even look into hiring a sitter 1-2 afternoons a week. @redneckmomma25‌

Yes. He gets double time for every hour over 8 and whatever is worked on the weekend.

I could hire someone. I also feel weird having someone I don't know in my house. If I hire a baby sitter, that means I have to do something else other than sit in the living room on the couch.

I can bring G to my sister again. She will gladly take her. I have to drive an hour both directions. That also means DH doesn't get to see her for whatever day she is with my sister so I feel bad if he can't see her.

hmp1 · September 2014

kelbel527 said:

hmp1 said:

Bringing the Halloween talk here, sorry.
James is watching James and the Giant Peach during nap today. I was thinking it would be a cute costume since Leo is being the Fantastic Mr Fox. The outfit is easy enough and I can get a big peach balloon, attach a spider, ladybug, caterpillar to the string. I'm sure the teachers will love me bringing a giant balloon into the school, lol.

That sounds like a really cute idea! They can always tie his balloon up somewhere out of reach if it's causing problems for any of the kids.

How's James feeling today?

Not as miserable as last night when he had a high fever and headache. He has developed a fear of medicine so he won't take anything. He was talkative and somewhat playful by mid morning and is sleeping now. Hopefully he will be good to go tomorrow.

misscheapandchic · September 2014

@tinyhumantoe‌ thank you, I needed to hear that today. And see your venting isn't stupid because if it was we wouldn't all be pissed off for you!
In other news my Instagram apparently changed to a public setting randomly, so if you start getting lots of random likes, check your privacy settings!

Holly_1007 · September 2014

redneckmomma25 said:

Holly_1007 said:

Is your H getting paid overtime for all those hours? If so, I would not hesitate to hire a housekeeper every couple of weeks, and maybe even look into hiring a sitter 1-2 afternoons a week. @redneckmomma25‌

Yes. He gets double time for every hour over 8 and whatever is worked on the weekend.

I could hire someone. I also feel weird having someone I don't know in my house. If I hire a baby sitter, that means I have to do something else other than sit in the living room on the couch.

I can bring G to my sister again. She will gladly take her. I have to drive an hour both directions. That also means DH doesn't get to see her for whatever day she is with my sister so I feel bad if he can't see her.

if you hire a housekeeper through a company they are all background checked and stuff, doesn't hurt to try it once and see how you feel about it. And there is no shame in hiring a sitter to take the kid on a walk while you shower. Or nap. That's the cool thing about college kids, they don't want a 6 hour commitment. And honestly, if your H has to go one day without seeing her so that you can get caught up on your own stuff, that's a small sacrifice to pay.

redneckmomma25 · September 2014

They found a replacement for him! He will start his new job on Thursday! I'm so happy.

hmp1 · September 2014

redneckmomma25 said:

They found a replacement for him! He will start his new job on Thursday! I'm so happy.

Wish I could love this 100 times!

redneckmomma25 · September 2014

hmp1 said:

redneckmomma25 said:

They found a replacement for him! He will start his new job on Thursday! I'm so happy.

Wish I could love this 100 times!

Thank you! Ugh. I am so relieved!

hmp1 · September 2014

People are insane. There is a pair of Mini Boden pants, size 4, on ebay with 40 bids and the current price is $142+shipping. Crazy cakes. I'm following the auction to see how it ends up.

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