HELLO I'm the one having the baby here!!!!

TabKing · September 2014

Ok for the last two weeks my H and I have not been getting along .
I have a step daughter and a son with him and we are expecting our third in April. After chasing around two kids, cleaning up house and cooking nonstop all day I'm tired! I'm tired and I'm not interested in any "alone" time. My H gets home early and when he's home you would think that he would help out so I wouldn't be so tired by 8. He just sits around and watches me do everything. And on top of that we have been sleep training our son and not once has he gotten up through the night to rock our son and help him realize he has to be a big boy and sleep in his bed. I have gotten little to no sleep for a week and then get attitude about not being all over him once I've put the other kids to sleep.
I just want to start screaming IM PREGNANT!!! IM TIRED!!! GET OFF YOUR ASS AND HELP!!!
Which makes me worry because if this is going to be his attitude with helping, how am I going to take care of a 2 yr old 4 yr old and new born alone ???!!!!
HELP
WHAT DO I SAY !??
What should I do ??

TabKing · September 2014

I do. I say I need some help. And I ask for help. I ask him to just do simple things to help. I flat out say I'm tired could you take a turn. And why don't you take tonight if he gets up.
I just get a dumb stare and either no answer or a smart ass no I'm not dojng everything for u.
I'm losing my mind about the whole thing.

TabKing · September 2014

No he was helpful and appreciated everything that got done and went out of his way to make sure things I wanted got done.
But I felt great while pregnant with our son. This time around I have been more tired and have had some sickness. So there is little to no bedroom time. Idk if that's the whole problem or what

TabKing · September 2014

I let him cry for 10 min or so then I get him. He's always been a hard crier. He will work himself up to the point he throws up.

4N6s · September 2014

Show him what you need him to do.

SuperFudge00 · September 2014

PPs have great advice. All I want to do is type a bunch of symbols. I hope you can get thru to YH.

Blergbot · September 2014

I think you need to sit down and have a serious chat with him. That means not just talking to him in the moment, but actually setting aside some time to talk about this issue. Make sure you hear him out about his frustrations, too. Maybe you can make him realize that if he helped out more then you wouldn't be so tired and would have the energy for alone time. Maybe he just isn't getting the correlation.

greneyedmom19 · September 2014

I went through a rough patch after having DD where I swear DH went through his midlife crisis because he would stay out late after work (he got off at midnight then would come home and go out again), go out on the weekends and never invite me, never help with the baby at night, etc. We were fighting all the time! I think the problem came from one, not having sex, and two he thought having kids would be easy! He finally grew his ass up and realized it was hard, he started helping, our relationship got a little better. I will tell you though our relationship never fully recovered until we got back our normal sex life back. Sex is a huge thing for men and keeping your relationship strong. Now I am not telling you to do it if you are not feeling up to it because that is not fair to you, but I think if you talk to him about how tired you are from doing everything by yourself 24/7 and being pregnant on top of that, it makes it difficult for you to be in the mood or have the energy. Let him know things he can do to help you get in the mood. Like for me DH helping with the kids, making dinner every once in awhile, just showing that he cares, and of course foreplay! He can't expect you to just jump on it when he wants you to! This is what helped us not get a divorce, because believe me, we were close to separating.

somewheresublime86 · September 2014

I think if you have a frank discussion with him and make it clear that if he helps with x, y and z around the house he'll be much more likely to get some, he may hop to.