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I feel like I'm ruining my son's childhood.

lake919lake919
in Babies: 9 - 12 Months
We live in a very small town (way out in the country), where I don't know anyone.  DS doesn't really play with other kids, although I do take him for walks, to the park, to the library, etc.  But I feel awful that he isn't playing with other kids, and that it will hurt him in the long run.  It almost makes me want to have another baby so he has a playmate, although I know that's not the most logical thing to do, lol.  I guess I just don't know what to do now that he's at an age where he plays, explores, and is learning so much.  I want to do all that I can to make sure he's well rounded, but how do I do that without group activities and play dates?
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Re: I feel like I'm ruining my son's childhood.

  • lilmgirllilmgirl member
    I think I remember you from the tri boards and IIRC, you do live way out in BFE.  Does the library have a designated story time you could attend and meet other parents to get to know them and arrange play dates that way?  Do you belong to a church or are there other community functions you could get involved with?
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  • lake919lake919

    imagelilmgirl:
    I think I remember you from the tri boards and IIRC, you do live way out in BFE.  Does the library have a designated story time you could attend and meet other parents to get to know them and arrange play dates that way?  Do you belong to a church or are there other community functions you could get involved with?

    Our library story time is ages 2 and up, which is a bummer.  And, we don't attend church, but the nearest one is almost 45 minutes away so that's a no-go :(

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  • seamco12seamco12
    I do not Have any advice on increasing your Sons socialization, but I don't think you should beat yourself up over this. I'm a big believer that you should not feel sorry for your kids. There will always be something more you wish you could give him. Perhaps your son will not be the most social child. However he may be very independent. Also since he is spending his time with adults. He may be far ahead of other children as far as vocabulary and manners. He may be a very introspective adult. Nothing wrong with that. You are doing your best. I'm sure he will have fond memories of his childhood and the attention you give him.
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  • bgf1bgf1 member
    Don't worry you are totally not ruining your son's childhood.  I think if you google babies and socialization you will find that it isn't until at least a year and a half that babies really need to be around other children  https://www.babycenter.com/404_when-will-my-baby-play-with-other-children_6722.bcr .  In the meantime the interaction you have with your son at this stage is the most important thing for his development.  If you are really concerned you could try to start a moms group of your own.  If there are enough 2 year olds to participate in storytime at the library than there must be enough under 2's to start a playgroup in your community.  Try posting a notice at the library, grocery store or rec centre.
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  • shakesshakes member
    Aww Lake, I want to say "don't feel that way", but I know it doesn't help. Try to rest assured he is not lacking in social developments. Those days are far away still. I am going to hazard a guess and say there may be other moms in your area that feel the same way. Have you considered putting up posters in a couple of stores or gas stations for a Mommy group? You may be surprised by the feedback. Maybe even branch out to a few surrounding towns also. HTH.

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  • pepomntpatpepomntpat member
    You are not ruining your son's childhood.  He will go to school and socialize all in good time.  Enjoy being his Mommy and stop with the guilt! There is no ideal.
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  • LuJackCityLuJackCity
    Somebody call CPS.
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  • weberm05weberm05 member

    imageLuJackCity:
    Somebody call CPS.

     

    ha ha..that's not funny.........i think they would on the 6-9 month borad!!!!! 

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  • sweetpea2003sweetpea2003 member

    My advice is to try and start something yourself.

    I'm assuming you have a grocery store or some centralized thing in your town.  Put up a flier or something and see if people are interested in creating an "under 2" play group (or under 3 or whatever you think would work).

    We move a lot (DH is military) and I am a big believer in creating things for yourself.  For example, I love being in a book club and have created three different groups over the past 8 years as we have moved around.  Just put yourself out there!  I'm sure you aren't the only person that wishes there were more people to hang out with.

    Also, if you want, just go to the library store time.  They aren't going to kick you out.  Our story time is for 2 and under right now but there are lots of siblings (my DD for example is a touch too old now) that are older and younger than the average.  I bet that there would be other kids your son's age who are tagging along with an older sibling.

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  • nosoup4unosoup4u member

    Have you tried meetup.com? There *might* be groups in your area. And it sounds weird, but maybe you could put a flyer up at the library, store, etc., looking for other moms and start your own mom's group. Does your partner have any co-workers with families you guys could meet?

    I lived out in the country when I was little, though I had two older sisters. Babies don't start really wanting friends until they are closer to three, quite honestly, so I wouldn't worry about damaging your son!

    ETA: I wrote this without looking at the other responses, obviously I'm not the only one with the idea of flyers, heh heh...

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  • Dreamsicle23Dreamsicle23 member
    He's not even one!  Chill out.
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  • LeanneCMLeanneCM
    imagenosoup4u:

    Have you tried meetup.com? There *might* be groups in your area. And it sounds weird, but maybe you could put a flyer up at the library, store, etc., looking for other moms and start your own mom's group. Does your partner have any co-workers with families you guys could meet?

    I lived out in the country when I was little, though I had two older sisters. Babies don't start really wanting friends until they are closer to three, quite honestly, so I wouldn't worry about damaging your son!

    ETA: I wrote this without looking at the other responses, obviously I'm not the only one with the idea of flyers, heh heh...

    I found a great bunch of moms on Meetup.com! You migh not find a group in your town, but probably in a town near by :)

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