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Upset with baby's gender

jjstricklerjjstrickler member
edited September 2014 in January 2015 Moms
For some reason I was expecting the opposite gender. Anyone else a little surprised or let down?

Janelle & TK

Baby #1
EDD 1-28-15

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Re: Upset with baby's gender

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  • LaBellaVidaLaBellaVida member
    Nope. Not in the slightest.
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  • sfgiantsgamerbabesfgiantsgamerbabe member
    Nope
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  • StargirlbStargirlb member
    seriously, I think this could very well be god's way of punishing you for getting your hopes up. You should seriously rub it in his face and raise he as a she or she as a he! Keep me posted! 
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  • jjstricklerjjstrickler member
    I just like the idea of God punching someone (especially me) in the face. ha ha ha
    I love the name Cezar!

    Janelle & TK

    Baby #1
    EDD 1-28-15

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  • jjstricklerjjstrickler member
    I would LOVE it if I could just have another fluffy Shih Tzu puppy! You'd think with all this modern medicine and technology... ugh. 

    Janelle & TK

    Baby #1
    EDD 1-28-15

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  • StargirlbStargirlb member
    edited September 2014
    it doesn't really work with Jane Austen name theory, but neither did genderqueer or intersex, so...
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  • readyforround2readyforround2 member
    According to both grandmothers, my "intuition", and old wives tales I was going to have a boy. Turned out to be a girl. So I guess I was "surprised" but never let down. Once she's born I'll probably have to fight for my husbands attention, but I have big boobs so I like my odds ;)
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  • StargirlbStargirlb member
    On a side note--- The only version of Pride and Prejudice I ever read was Pride and Predjudice and Zombies. That's funny because I don't know how much of that wasn't actually in the original novel.
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  • shelmabelleshelmabelle member
    I was a lil disappointed at first bc I wanted a boy but after I went shopping this wknd it helped. The clothes were so sweet. I was mainly more happy that baby girl was healthy
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  • EmilyA724EmilyA724 member
    I really thought it was going to be a boy, so it took my a weekend to get used to the idea of a girl, but then I got super excited.
    Me 31  <3  DH 34
    TTC #1 5/13 BFP #3 5/2/14 DD born 1/19/15
    NTNP #2 8/17 BFP 12/13/18 ED 8/21/19
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  • AggieMom0809AggieMom0809 member
    I was disappointed when I found out my first was going to be a girl instead of a boy. By the time she was born, I'd come around to the idea of my first being a girl and wouldn't want it any other way. I took up bow making and sewed a ton of outfits for her on top of the nursery set. 

    This time, I'm hoping for a girl, but trying to keep more of an open mind knowing that I'll be happy with which ever they are.

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  • LuckyPenny1231LuckyPenny1231 member
    Once your baby is born and you meet and fall in love with them, all those feelings will go away. You will be thinking that you couldn't imagine your life without that little person, exactly as they are.
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  • llambrosellambrose member
    I went through a this on Friday when I found out that I was having a boy. My daughter really wanted a sister and we have so much girl stuff already (I was especially concerned about toys as our house is small and we don't have room for much more). It just takes a bit to change the picture that you had in your head I think. It will be fine.
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  • ChelCChargersChelCChargers member
    I thought for sure that we were having a boy, my whole life I always imagined myself having a boy as my first so did my husband. I'm not a girly girl, I like sports and wear jeans and a t shirt everyday I didn't think I would know what to do with a girl, so I was hoping for a boy.

    To our surprise we are having a girl, and you know what I wasn't even disappointed. As soon as the ultrasound tech showed us the most beautiful side profile I'd ever seen I started crying. That was my little girl in there! I was and still am so excited that we're having a girl first. She won't have all the pink and purple stuff because we plan on having another in a few years and want to reuse everything.

    Like PPs have said, I'm sure that feeling will fade over time :)
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  • SheHulk723SheHulk723 member
    I always wanted a boy first, but I knew from the beginning that this was going to be a girl.  I'm actually surprised that it doesn't bother me at all.  I thought it was a bigger deal to me, but I realized I'm going to love her just the same =)
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  • liladelphia215liladelphia215 member
    TXUltraRunner said:
    I just don't get all the disappointment with having a girl. What's wrong with girls? Are we not all girls? I think its an archaic tradition that a woman has to produce a male to pass on the name or she's worthless. Embrace the fact that you're getting this girl who could help break the mold and the stereotype that girls are anything less than boys. Girls don't have to be "girly" just as boys don't have to be "manly." Raise them to be whomever they choose to be when they get older. Don't impose stereotypes. 
    DH is hoping for a boy to pass down his name. Now, I won't be worthless if it isn't a boy.. but he thinks his last name is doomed if we don't. I'm all like Ooooooh well. I would rather hope for a boy for all the fun things having a boy entails, not because of a last name.

    Ultimately, he'll be happy with a girl obviously, but the last chance to pass on the last name will be his little brother (even his cousins are out - are either girls or not having kids, etc.). I say big whoop. 
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  • StargirlbStargirlb member
    There is definitely a patriarchal component. It's far more common to prefer a male child. See rates of gender specific abortions.
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  • StargirlbStargirlb member
    We have friends who flew to china to get a baby boy implanted because their family needed an "heir"
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  • StargirlbStargirlb member
    I see nothing wrong with selecting to have a female child, though. Y'all know my controversial views on the topic of a post-sex post-automated world being fully female sexed. (With any gender expression.)
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  • mom2casemom2case member
    With our first, we didn't care about the sex.  We decided to be team green so it was a surprise at birth anyway.  Second one, around 10 weeks, I was on the fence but felt I'd be disappointed with either sex.  By the time the anatomy scan rolled around, I knew I'd be excited about either.  When we heard it was a boy (I was leaning more towards girl), I was a little let down because I wanted my daughter to have a sister.  Within a few days, I was getting excited about a little boy.  That pregnancy WAS going to be my last.  But then he passed away. 

    THIS time, I wasn't sure what I wanted.  A boy would be great because I'm supposed to have a son.  It's odd knowing I'm supposed to be raising a son, picking out boy clothes, etc.  It really sucks losing a child, and I'm dreading the "When will you try for a boy?" comments since this baby is a girl.  But I was also terrified of having a boy because I felt I'd try to live out my first son's life through the second.   This one being a girl is bittersweet.  I'm happy my daughter will have a sister, but I'm also sad that we won't have a boy to raise. 

    My situation is a bit different than yours, but it is normal to feel like you prefer one over the other.  I think you'll get used to the idea after a while and you won't feel like you do now.   
    imageimage

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    "Beanie" Natural 7w MC 11/21/12

    "Nole" stopped growing at 7w3d D&E 2/11/13

    Diagnosed with MTHFR and Factor V Leiden on 4/3/13

    Due with RAINBOW GIRL 2/10/15

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  • Roxycc55Roxycc55 member
    @mom2case‌ I'm feeling exactly the same as you, only switched around.

    And I'm really not doing the whole pregnancy thing again, so this is it. I'm so thrilled to have this baby either way. But we have talked about adopting a little girl in the future.


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    "As long as I live you will live. As long as I live you will be loved."

    BFP#1 3/31/12 EDD 12/1/12,No HB 6/6/12 (14 weeks 4 days), D&C 6/11/12 (15 weeks 2 days)*Arabella Ann*

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

     

    BFP#2 5/21/14 EDD 1/27/15 *GROW BABY GROW*

     
     


     

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  • csjsmomcsjsmom member
    I don't know what I'm having yet but knowing this is my last baby at 41 I'm hoping for a girl. My first was a boy and I was happy either way. With my second I wanted my son to have a brother but I wanted a girl for me. To do the "girlie stuff" with. My second was another boy. I love both boys so much!
    I didn't think i would have more kids since I was single for a long time after my second was born. My boyfriend has 2 boys and 1 girl so we'd honestly all like a girl. But if it's a boy we'll all like that too!
    Once you have the baby you fall in love and it's so awesome to watch them grow! I may not end up having mother daughter shopping trips or going to get nails done, etc (I have tried/encouraged these activities but my boys just arent into them!) but I know I will enjoy all the experiences I do have with my last baby. Boy or girl!
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  • idontevenknowidontevenknow member
    nursesouder said:

    At the end of the day, a healthy child without a physical or mental disability is what I hope for.

    so much this!! I am so worried about this LO that I don't care what it is, as long as it's a physically and mentally healthy human.

    But, with my daughter- I was 17 and naive (not that OP or anyone else that is sad about baby's sex is naive!!) I literally wanted a boy because I thought it would keep her dad around, so I was initially dissapointed... now that I am 29, I think of how sad that is and I am so grateful that my brat is who and what she is. She's healthy and I'm lucky- even more so that her dad ISN'T around.

     

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  • llambrosellambrose member
    MarxieVonTrapp said:
    llambrose said:
    I went through a this on Friday when I found out that I was having a boy. My daughter really wanted a sister and we have so much girl stuff already (I was especially concerned about toys as our house is small and we don't have room for much more). It just takes a bit to change the picture that you had in your head I think. It will be fine.
    Why do you need to get new toys?  Children play with all kinds of toys.  
    It is just that inevitably people will buy him a bunch of "boy toys" to add to our already huge collection of toys.  It won't matter as much in the baby years because kids will play with anything at that age but eventually I am sure that things will get added that are more typically boy related and we will be overrun with toys, we are already on the verge as my daughter has so many it makes me nuts!
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  • mom2casemom2case member
    Roxycc55 said:
    @mom2case‌ I'm feeling exactly the same as you, only switched around. And I'm really not doing the whole pregnancy thing again, so this is it. I'm so thrilled to have this baby either way. But we have talked about adopting a little girl in the future.
    @roxycc55 My body can't handle this again either, so this is it for us.  I'm just really hoping for a good outcome.  We want to adopt but I think we're going to just apply for a child of a certain age (around 2 years younger than our daughter, so s/he would be 18 months right now) and let the gender and race be a surprise.  I originally wanted to adopt a boy but DH feels like that would be trying to replace our son.  I guess if it's random and we end up with a boy, that's just how it was "meant to be" versus our choice and DH would feel better about that.  I'm very interested in sibling adoption though, so who knows!
    imageimage

    image

    "Beanie" Natural 7w MC 11/21/12

    "Nole" stopped growing at 7w3d D&E 2/11/13

    Diagnosed with MTHFR and Factor V Leiden on 4/3/13

    Due with RAINBOW GIRL 2/10/15

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