Sad to be doing this.....

Sockgnome78 · September 2014

Hi Fellow Bumpies:

I had to think really long and hard on how the Mod thing went down with @Jarah48(sp?). I have come to decide that I can no longer be a part of a community that handled things this way.

It has been a fun ride the past few months. Thank you for allowing me to learn and laugh and be sad with you all. I know that I was a few weeks or more behind most of you all. It has been a great learning experience. I felt the safest coming to you all with wierd questions that I just was to scared to ask other bumpies IRL or even my doctor.

I hope you all have heathy and safe delieveries. I hope that motherhood will come easy to 1st time and multiple time moms.

pnwlover12 · September 2014

Oh, jesus.

BreandMikewedding · September 2014

I'm sorry to see you go and completely understand how you feel. I am debating on if I still want to participate myself. I was looking forward to seeing everyone's birth announcements but I have a feeling a lot of people may leave this board. The atmosphere of this board has completely changed and I'm not sure it will go back to what it was. Good luck with your lo!

[Deleted User] · September 2014

I don't see the need to post about not posting anymore. :-/

And if you can't even spell her name correctly, I have a hard time believing you were so affected by the "board drama" and how things went down.

jenndub · September 2014

Me and Jalopy (I think that was her name) were super close too, I don't want to be here without her.

But seriously, I'm sort of caught up on the drama, I don't have time to read it all, and I'm confused about why people would leave. It seems as though some people had some valid concerns and tried to handle them in a private way with the person it concerned. Jalara decided to make it public and pretty dramatic and now she's banned. She made her own bed there. I never had a problem with her as a mod, but I don't care if someone else did. I came here expecting to encounter people with different views than me. If this is where you felt safest airing your questions or concerns, how did that change?

CNJ4EVA · September 2014

I would have wondered about your absence, so I appreciate your post. Sorry to see you go. I hope you'll reconsider down the road.

golfingdarwinfish · September 2014

It's sort of ironic, because the community didn't choose the way it was handled; someone sent Jalara a PM about possibly adding a second mod. Jalara took it upon herself to...

a. Make the contents of the PM public

b. Post the name of the sender

c. Add remove Jalara as mod to the poll

d. Attack people who said that a 2nd mod would be a good idea since Jalara would be traveling for a bit to get her LO - even if the person was incredibly nice about it.

e. Begin the mod nomination thread shortly after posting the original poll

People voiced their concerns about a mod they felt was abusing power and misleading members. A PM was sent in a respectful manner; Jalara blew up that PM, and as such everything went down publicly on the board. If you think people should have ignored what they felt were "TB Oct14 injustices), that's your own prerogative; many people saw what was occurring, did not think it was right, and lobbied for change. Change happens.

You may want to rethink exactly whose actions are upsetting you and causing you to leave. If you're upset that people questioned the status quo, then maybe you are right to leave.

AppleGrapeMSTK · September 2014

I had anxiety opening this because I thought you had a loss based on your title, and I started tearing up before reading anything. Next time you GBCB, name your thread something less vague.

applebottomgenes · September 2014

@Happyin14‌ It is nice to hear you guys are so understanding of the symptoms post. I lost our first and this pregnancy has been crazy nerve-wracking. I would share my concerns with friends (I didn't bump early on - call it my crazy Boston superstition but I tried to do everything opposite of the first pregnancy including message boards and books - I know it was silly but anything to get me through that first trimester...) and they would be sweet but say that awful 'if it's meant to be it will work out.' I probably could have used a chin up from people who had been there. Just wanted to share that

golfingdarwinfish · September 2014

@‌happyin14

Yes, a poll was requested, but a poll for a second mod. The PM did NOT request that she include her own status as mod in that poll; she included herself by choice.

Regarding your feelings about what is discussed on these boards. Many people come to them for pregnancy and current events, etc.; not just pregnancy. The BMBs that revolve 100% about pregnancy and babies end up dying. If you only like pregnancy talk, so be it, and you can make the choice about which threads to participate in, just like every other board member.

To be fair, I bet the vast majority of people on this board (myself included) dislike all the mod drama. But, people were not wrong for speaking up, voicing their concerns, or advocating for change.

golfingdarwinfish · September 2014

FamousEa said:

That cat should be orange!!! ORANGE!!!

LightBright515 · September 2014

I just don't get how the culture will change if the "Jalopy" stans don't just give it a rest. It is what it is..

Jennifer18131 · September 2014

There's a huge difference between someone posting on PGAL about symptoms or lack thereof and a rando on a BMB asking about a hospitol bag when there are 5 other recent posts about a packing list. Let's not compare apples and oranges.

Emerald27 · September 2014

More drama. Just what we need. #-o

Seriously, OP. I'm sorry you'll no longer be posting here, but this sort of post just prolongs the issue.

pushgal84 · September 2014

OMG my left nipple just leaked for the first time! For serious. Now I'm just not sure if it's lactating or crying....

Saragoeswest · September 2014

Is this normally the way these "forums" end up? Honestly, I'm curious. This is my first one (how did I live before?!) and I'm wondering if they usually explode like this.

ADH0906 · September 2014

Saragoeswest said:
Is this normally the way these "forums" end up? Honestly, I'm curious. This is my first one (how did I live before?!) and I'm wondering if they usually explode like this.

Meh, it's not unheard of. The fact that members cannot see that Jalara herself was behind the majority of the drama is mind-boggling to me, but there you have it.

Andplusalso: @golfingdarwinfish‌ for president

Saragoeswest · September 2014

Well, is it just me or would a new comic strip from @TicketTuesday‌ make everything a lot better?

caranichole · September 2014

Y'all know I like to sit on the sidelines for things like this but I'd probably take this post a hair more seriously if 1. you were close enough to Jalara to know her name and 2. if your reasoning made any sense based on all of the threads and public knowledge of "how things were handled" thus far.

Therefore, unless you have some unrevealed facts to share with the group (which I highly doubt based on the two aforementioned reasons, then I can only conclude that you too are simply interested in making a scene and getting attention?

It's one thing for Jalara to make a dramatic exit post because she was our MOD, has been here since the BFPs, has made legitimate close friends amongst the board, and has voluntarily dedicated a lot of time and efforts into it (regardless of whether or not the efforts were the best choices).

I have scrolled all the way to the top of this page at least 4 times to remind myself who the OP was in the first place...sockgnome ? Do what you need to do girl. It was nice chatting with you. We all hope you have a wonderful, safe and healthy delivery as well!

archi35 · September 2014

HiCan said:

How I felt once I read this:

I just LOL'd so hard to this. This is my reaction to the entire fucking situation from start to finish at this point - this should be the going general response to this cluster-fuck Mod thing moving forward IMO.

Eastie156 · September 2014

jenndub said:

Me and Jalopy (I think that was her name) were super close too, I don't want to be here without her. But seriously, I'm sort of caught up on the drama, I don't have time to read it all, and I'm confused about why people would leave. It seems as though some people had some valid concerns and tried to handle them in a private way with the person it concerned. Jalara decided to make it public and pretty dramatic and now she's banned. She made her own bed there. I never had a problem with her as a mod, but I don't care if someone else did. I came here expecting to encounter people with different views than me. If this is where you felt safest airing your questions or concerns, how did that change?

um. late to the party. what happened?

Eastie156 · September 2014

Saragoeswest said:

Is this normally the way these "forums" end up? Honestly, I'm curious. This is my first one (how did I live before?!) and I'm wondering if they usually explode like this.

Sort of catching up on what's happened. This happened over on S12 with our mod awhile back. @jenndub or @bobkat22 might remember this..

jenndub · September 2014

Eastie156 said:

Saragoeswest said:

Is this normally the way these "forums" end up? Honestly, I'm curious. This is my first one (how did I live before?!) and I'm wondering if they usually explode like this.

Sort of catching up on what's happened. This happened over on S12 with our mod awhile back. @jenndub or @bobkat22 might remember this..

I definitely remember that, although I think it was a way bigger deal. That craziness affected a lot of people and was creepy as fuck.

MrMrsandBaby · September 2014

caranichole said:
I have scrolled all the way to the top of this page at least 4 times to remind myself who the OP was in the first place...sockgnome ? Do what you need to do girl. It was nice chatting with you. We all hope you have a wonderful, safe and healthy delivery as well!

To the bolded - She actually was pretty regular, just like in the second layer of regs (where I hang out) so maybe not as recognizable as the top five or six, but not exactly a new member or lurker either.

Saragoeswest said:

Is this normally the way these "forums" end up? Honestly, I'm curious. This is my first one (how did I live before?!) and I'm wondering if they usually explode like this.

My DD's BMB started to die when the FB group started after the babies were born. There were two groups, the early adopters (before birth) left TB pretty quickly but the ones who hung around during pregnancy and after birth became a second FB group and I think it took about a year and a half before the TB page really started slowing down.

Emerald27 · September 2014

@Saragoeswest‌ My BMB with DS had some sort of split over drama before I had even joined, and some people moved to FB. Then there was just typical board drama until posting slowed way down when the babies were 6-9 months old.

MrMrsandBaby · September 2014

kfitzguerra said:

*joins @MrMrsandBaby in the semi-regular corner* Teehee...semi-regular.

In more ways than one...

LightBright515 · September 2014

From what I've read across the board, BMB are full of drama and dissolve at some point. And at that point, you're either in the FB group or you're just out and become more active elsewhere.

And then apparently FB groups get a little drama filled and split off as well.

aander6 · September 2014

scottysgirl77 said:
I'm really sad for all the people who have left our board. They are missing a great day!

This is just a guess but if you are AW enough to make a GBCB post there is no way you don't come back to see what people said in your thread at least.

applebottomgenes · September 2014

I think the last time I was full on lurking, there was drama on a board where an MOD stole money that had been collected for a member who had a late term stillborn. Saddest thing I ever read.

lrobi13 · September 2014

applebottomgenes said:

I think the last time I was full on lurking, there was drama on a board where an MOD stole money that had been collected for a member who had a late term stillborn. Saddest thing I ever read.

That was pretty nasty. She wanted a PB glider and was like F you ladies and your bleeding hearts.

applebottomgenes · September 2014

lrobi13 said:

applebottomgenes said:

I think the last time I was full on lurking, there was drama on a board where an MOD stole money that had been collected for a member who had a late term stillborn. Saddest thing I ever read.

That was pretty nasty. She wanted a PB glider and was like F you ladies and your bleeding hearts.

That was the one! Awful human being. Gliders, they bring out the worst in people.

TheOtherJacobsons · September 2014

applebottomgenes said:

lrobi13 said:

applebottomgenes said:

I think the last time I was full on lurking, there was drama on a board where an MOD stole money that had been collected for a member who had a late term stillborn. Saddest thing I ever read.

That was pretty nasty. She wanted a PB glider and was like F you ladies and your bleeding hearts.

That was the one! Awful human being. Gliders, they bring out the worst in people.

I am in the camp of who spends $1200 on a glider??? I spent like $200 on mine. For $1200 it better massage my feet and give me a happy ending.

caranichole · September 2014

MrMrsandBaby said:

caranichole said:
I have scrolled all the way to the top of this page at least 4 times to remind myself who the OP was in the first place...sockgnome ? Do what you need to do girl. It was nice chatting with you. We all hope you have a wonderful, safe and healthy delivery as well!

To the bolded - She actually was pretty regular, just like in the second layer of regs (where I hang out) so maybe not as recognizable as the top five or six, but not exactly a new member or lurker either.

Saragoeswest said:

Is this normally the way these "forums" end up? Honestly, I'm curious. This is my first one (how did I live before?!) and I'm wondering if they usually explode like this.

My DD's BMB started to die when the FB group started after the babies were born. There were two groups, the early adopters (before birth) left TB pretty quickly but the ones who hung around during pregnancy and after birth became a second FB group and I think it took about a year and a half before the TB page really started slowing down.

Yes, semi-regular, I know. I'm not saying I didn't recognize her at all. But I am saying that she is not so effective and prominent that this was necessary. Even if I was leaving, I wouldn't feel a need for such a dramatic exit.

MrsSarahRenee · September 2014

TheOtherJacobsons said:

applebottomgenes said:

lrobi13 said:

applebottomgenes said:

I think the last time I was full on lurking, there was drama on a board where an MOD stole money that had been collected for a member who had a late term stillborn. Saddest thing I ever read.

That was pretty nasty. She wanted a PB glider and was like F you ladies and your bleeding hearts.

That was the one! Awful human being. Gliders, they bring out the worst in people.

I am in the camp of who spends $1200 on a glider??? I spent like $200 on mine. For $1200 it better massage my feet and give me a happy ending.

If I could get a glider with a happy ending for $1200...

pnwlover12 · September 2014

TheOtherJacobsons said:

applebottomgenes

lrobi13 said:

applebottomgenes said:

I think the last time I was full on lurking, there was drama on a board where an MOD stole money that had been collected for a member who had a late term stillborn. Saddest thing I ever read.

That was pretty nasty. She wanted a PB glider and was like F you ladies and your bleeding hearts.

That was the one! Awful human being. Gliders, they bring out the worst in people.

I am in the camp of who spends $1200 on a glider??? I spent like $200 on mine. For $1200 it better massage my feet and give me a happy ending.

This is totally me too. I mean, don't get me wrong, I would be thrilled to be in the position of being able to spend that on a glider, but we're not, and I can't.

I will say I got a cheaper rocker from BRU for DD and it sucked...I'm buying a recliner for our living room instead.

applebottomgenes · September 2014

TheOtherJacobsons said:

applebottomgenes said:

lrobi13 said:

applebottomgenes said:

I think the last time I was full on lurking, there was drama on a board where an MOD stole money that had been collected for a member who had a late term stillborn. Saddest thing I ever read.

That was pretty nasty. She wanted a PB glider and was like F you ladies and your bleeding hearts.

That was the one! Awful human being. Gliders, they bring out the worst in people.

I am in the camp of who spends $1200 on a glider??? I spent like $200 on mine. For $1200 it better massage my feet and give me a happy ending

$1200. Did that include embroidery? PB is big on that.

lrobi13 · September 2014

pnwlover12 said:

applebottomgenes

lrobi13 said:

applebottomgenes said:

I think the last time I was full on lurking, there was drama on a board where an MOD stole money that had been collected for a member who had a late term stillborn. Saddest thing I ever read.

That was pretty nasty. She wanted a PB glider and was like F you ladies and your bleeding hearts.

That was the one! Awful human being. Gliders, they bring out the worst in people.

I am in the camp of who spends $1200 on a glider??? I spent like $200 on mine. For $1200 it better massage my feet and give me a happy ending.
This is totally me too. I mean, don't get me wrong, I would be thrilled to be in the position of being able to spend that on a glider, but we're not, and I can't. I will say I got a cheaper rocker from BRU for DD and it sucked...I'm buying a recliner for our living room instead.

We got ours from DH's late grandfather for free. I bought $40 worth of fabric to match the nursery and my mom is having the cushions recovered. Boom!

We also have the oh so awesome eye-sore of a recliner in the living room which I have grown to love as I have baked this lo.

heatherjeanp · September 2014

Holy fucking crap - why us thus even an issue?!? I came to TB to learn and share with others moms to be in my birth month because we would all be in the same boat! I never expected this to be a place where such drama would erupt! I still enjoy reading and sharing experiences here, being able to ask questions and at times put in my two cents. I hate that people feel the need to leave because of personal differences on this board, but everyone has their own choices to make. I just can't wait for this all to stop so we can focus on being the supportive, awesome group we used to be. I want information, support and love tits - no more drama!

atraveller · September 2014

Wow - you disappear for a week and all hell breaks loose. I haven't had time to go back and look at what the drama was and how it started -though this post has pieced together some of it for me. I'm only sorry there was big drama and turmoil among members. I have found a lot of solace in this board and made a few real connections with some of my fellow posters. I hope most people stay around -as I'd like to hear about all of your births and how things move forward and stay in touch - but if some feel they need to leave, I understand too. Im sorry to see Jalara go - and she and I didn't always see eye to eye - but the whole ban thing is tough and not my favorite thing.

Though I have zero part in the drama and not even sure all of the details - I'm sorry for those who were affected and for those who feel angry,slighted or hurt. At this point in our pregnancies - I'm sure we all need a bit less emotional strain. I know I do. Hoping I can be back on here more - and that things can level out on the board.