I want everything new!

weansworld09 · August 2014

I think IF may play part in it too. There is a good chance this will be our only child & we both have good jobs/income. I don't expect people to buy the big ticket items, and I have added a lot of items in all price ranges. So, I don't think there's anything wrong with this. If you are flamed, then torch this FTM too! No shame here.

jaztastic · August 2014

ChickenOnSunday said:

jaztastic said:

@ChickenOnSunday‌... I have been offered a
bobby, I assume you mean boppy but got autocorrected. This I would take but buy a new cover. I would want a cute cover because you look at the thing a lot. I did take a breast friend (or something like that from a neighbor). Which pillow I used depended on which side I nursed.
2 high chairs Do you know what sort of chairs? Are they clean because I've seen some that are nasty! This one is situational.
an infant car seat (because the kid just upgraded to a bigger one), Hmmmm…this one is tough. I want to say heck no but you can take off the cover and wash it. How old is it? Are you certain it wasn't in a car accident? What is the brand?
I've gotten a lot of offers for clothes but people are waiting for me to announce the sex. Most times I get "let me know as soon as you find out what you are having, because we have so much boy/girl stuff you can have" Yes yes yes to all the clothes. The sizing of kids clothes is so random and you have no clue what they will wear. Pick through and donate anything stained or ugly.

Exactly the same questions and concerns I have about stuff. But I don't want to grill people about what they are giving away... Mom says just take everything and go through it later, but that just seems like a lot of work. (And yes boppy was correct lol)

jaytee16 · August 2014

I'm a frugal person, always have been. The fact that these little miracles cost us so much OOP on IF treatments, plus the fact that there are two (and my job situation is seriously in jeopardy at the moment) I am happy for hand me downs. I have already a had my two SILs offer clothes, a car seat, a moby wrap, a swing, a bathtub, a bumbo and possibly some other items and I am super grateful and thrilled! Newborns go through things so fast and might not like things (bumbos/swings) that I'm grateful not to have to spend money on it to find out they hate it. To each their own but for items that have been well looked after, I am happy to be on the receiving end.

And of course your registry is a Wishlist/things you may fully intend to buy and people don't have to buy from it, but having some more affordable options helps shoppers, otherwise you may end up with 50 baby blankets and a handful of Sophie's

hummingbird813 · August 2014

I was just thinking about this. I want all new furniture for the baby but DH wants hand me downs. My mil keeps buying me used sale items and I am grateful but I do want some new stuff

ordinary1 · August 2014

I wouldn't say you have to change what you want since it is a suggested list not a list of demands, but it is nice (for the guest) to have a variety of price points.

BeckyP005 · August 2014

@jaytee16‌ this is how MH feels. Stupid IF!! Hugs on the job front. We have alot going on too

elephantsonpatrol · August 2014

I like free stuff!

Seriously, some things (pump bottles etc) I'd want new for sanitary reasons. For others, like strollers, if I can find a well cared for used one, I'm all for saving $

jaztastic · August 2014

Good point on sending things to Granny's house. My mom is my nanny, and is also building a nursery at her house for days she is home instead of at my house. I totally forgot that I can have extras for her place.

I found the most adorable and ridiculously expensive hand crafted high chair, and I'm only getting one of those suckers for my house. I could totally use a gifted/used one for moms house.

jaytee16 · August 2014

BeckyP005 said:
@jaytee16‌ this is how MH feels. Stupid IF!! Hugs on the job front. We have alot going on too

Thanks @BeckyP005‌, FU IF, is right! Hugs back atcha.

I think items for grandma's house are awesome but I wouldn't accept things if I planned to just give them away, maybe they know someone else who would want them. Like my SIL has a PG friend too, if we didn't want something I'm sure she'd like to offer her friend before I just get rid of it.

chicagojackie · August 2014

1-If your guests don't like anything on your registry they will buy WHATEVER they choose. (It goes without saying that a gift is a gift and you should be grateful and a registry is just a suggestion, of course.) Maybe the lesser of two evils is for you to pick some less expensive items with the intention of rounding those gifts up and turning them in when you go in to complete your registry (when you get your big discount)...at least then they will be from the same store and easier for you to return.

2-If you have mom friends that have the same upscale taste as you, then you can trust the clothes they are giving you. I had a lot of Janie + Jack, Mini-boden, Gymboree, stuff from Zulily, Nordstrom's, baby Gap, etc that my daughter only wore once (or never) and some accessories that were really just used for pictures. I put out the very best stuff and let my best friend sort through and see what she wanted, with no hurt feelings if she didn't take anything. She liked a lot of things and it is nice to see a darling and beautiful outfit get used more than once. A lot of the 0-3 and 3-6 month stuff doesn't really get used. I saved a few of my favorite outfits from DD in each of these little sizes because I couldn't bear to part with them, of course.

3-You are not a snob...you just have expensive taste. If you were looking down on people for bargain shopping or whatever that would be snobby and gross. You are allowed to spend your money however you want, frankly. If you like the organic Aden and Anais swaddling blankets and the fancy 4moms glider you should buy them! My only warning to you is that it is really easy to spend a ton of money on the kid stuff and then realize you have less money for the other stuff you need all the time like diapers, wipes, diaper creams, etc which really adds up. And there is always more cute stuff at each developmental level. Pace yourself, woman.

When you're done with all of this gorgeous stuff, pay it forward.

ckimberley14 · August 2014

@jaztastic‌ I was the exact same way about my first babies. I wanted them to have brand-new things, especially feeding and bathing items. Of course I also wanted new cloth diapers for them. I know you can bleach used ones and it should be fine, but I just didn't trust that. My friends gave me their daughters' clothes, which was totally fine with me since they were bigger sizes for the girls to grow into. I gave one of my friends 4-5 bags of smaller clothes, most of which the girls never even wore. It was the sanitary factor that steered me clear of wanting used bottles or anything like that. I did buy a used double jogger because they're so expensive, but I got all new car seats and regular stroller for when the girls were teeny tiny. My relatives bought me the big-ticket items off my registry.

You should never use a preowned breast pump unless you buy all new accessories for it. Also, I think used feeding and diapering items (e.g., reusable wipes) should only be from a trusted source. I'm not going to give away my reusable wipes when all my kids are out of diapers; they'll make good cloths for other kinds of messes.

jaztastic · August 2014

sarabell52 said:

I have a group of friends who all had babies about a year before we did, and now some of them have just had their second babies. We share all kinds of stuff- from clothes, to boppies, to swings. Items just get passed back and forth and then to the next family. We bought a bunch of our larger items, like furniture and a nice stroller, and we received some big ticket items as gifts.

Do what's right for you and your family. Why is someone judging your registry, anyway?

Because current mothers feel like they get to advise on everything, including the cost of items you want. Their child didn't need it, so your child doesn't either. I get the logic but it sort of makes me side eye.

It's like...No need to drive a BMW when a Kia costs less and still gets you from point A to point B... type comments

chicagojackie · August 2014

PS I hate that "my baby didn't need that so your baby doesn't need that either" story.

...Yeah DD didn't NEED a bumbo, but it was really cute to put her in it. And made us laugh.
...Yeah DD didn't NEED a fancy glider chair swing that vibrated and played songs, but it was really awesome to take a shower without her crying.
...Yeah DD didn't NEED 10 fancy headbands to go with all of her outfits but after my high-risk f-ed up pregnancy with her I was going to do EVERYTHING I WANTED with my new beautiful baby that I wanted so much.
...Yeah DD didn't NEED a monogrammed beach towel (Pottery Barn Kids! Evil!) but it sure was cute on our first poolside vacation with her. Little details make mama happy.

Would I buy all of that stuff again for my first baby? YES!
Did I get mom-judged by some people about my choices? YES!
Do I care? NOPE!

jaztastic · August 2014

@chicagojackie‌ woman after my own heart :x

HeyStVincent · August 2014

I haven't started looking yet. Call me Debbie Downer if you want, but I am afraid to start looking until after the anatomy scan. I'm so afraid something major could be wrong and we don't know it yet.

I'm a FTM, but I would for sure be open to buying certain items used - especially furniture. I was on Nordstrom's website and was finding some of the cutest baby-related clothes and other fashion accessories, but they cost more than what I"m willing to spend on an outfit the kid will wear ONCE. However, if I could find that same outfit (or what-have-you) on ebay, used, but half the price, I would for sure buy it.

Some other things are a big NO though. Especially things that probably come with a warranty - like the stroller, car seat, and breast pump. I actually don't have a problem with using a used pump (with new attachable parts). However, it would be my luck that I'd buy a used pump, or a used stroller and then the thing would break after owning it for a couple of weeks. If you don't have that warranty (or it's already expired) then you are SOL.

chicagojackie · August 2014

@heystvincent you should go to Nordstrom's kids dept during the anniversary sale and the half-yearly. We got the cutest north face jacket for DD there for like $30. And a really cute owl layette. And a little giraffe blanket...all ridiculously marked down. Nordstrom rack has a TON of awesome baby stuff too.

Also everyone should be able to get your breast pump or a breast pump rental through your insurance if you are a FTM. Call your plan and ask what you need. It is so easy. We got a hospital-grade pump rental covered. So spend the breast pump money on something you really need, like a fabulous diaper bag. Hello! Obvi!!

HeyStVincent · August 2014

chicagojackie said:

PS I hate that "my baby didn't need that so your baby doesn't need that either" story.

...Yeah DD didn't NEED a bumbo, but it was really cute to put her in it. And made us laugh.
...Yeah DD didn't NEED a fancy glider chair swing that vibrated and played songs, but it was really awesome to take a shower without her crying.
...Yeah DD didn't NEED 10 fancy headbands to go with all of her outfits but after my high-risk f-ed up pregnancy with her I was going to do EVERYTHING I WANTED with my new beautiful baby that I wanted so much.
...Yeah DD didn't NEED a monogrammed beach towel (Pottery Barn Kids! Evil!) but it sure was cute on our first poolside vacation with her. Little details make mama happy.

Would I buy all of that stuff again for my first baby? YES!
Did I get mom-judged by some people about my choices? YES!
Do I care? NOPE!

YES YES YES YES. All of this. There is nothing more irritating than the "you-don't-need-this" police. They're *almost* as bad as the grammar police. Someone who is not you does not get to regulate what you and your family choose to do with your resources.

Now, this is not to say that you can't have those thoughts. We are all human and we all have those thoughts from time-to-time: "Oh, this is just ridiculous. Why does anyone NEED this?" But at the end of the day, you are not the person you are judging, you don't know their reasons, and even if you did know their reasons, it's not up to you.

SarahB0427 · August 2014

I wouldn't buy a used breastfeeding pump although I'm not breastfeeding) I also wouldn't buy a used car seat. This is my 3rd baby and will be buying a new carseat. Most baby items my last baby didn't use much so I don't mind reusing. I would also never buy bedding used but everything else is free game for a good bargain. Now you are a FTM so register for what you want and screw what anyone thinks

ConstanceGoodspeed · August 2014

Find a local women's shelter or teen mom resource to donate some of the stuff you'll get that you don't want/need. Your pedi should be able to recommend somewhere.

[Deleted User] · August 2014

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kdhuling · August 2014

I want everything new but that doesn't necessarily mean it's what I will get unfortunately. DH is pro used for cost reasons. I get that and will go with it on certain items because he has a point but I would definitely prefer all new/best possible quality.

ordinary1 · August 2014

I do think some things are fine used. Books, (some) baby carriers, and (some) clothes. I think shopping sales can be just as cheap as finding things secondhand (unless given). If a friend offered to give my clothes or something in good condition, I would use it as long as it can be washed.

tammynixx · August 2014

As a second time mom and someone that is frugal I am completely open to hand me downs, as I was with my first. Initially I wanted everything new and the best of the best, but financially it was the better choice to take the hand me downs. We did receive many gifts at our shower but we got a ton of clothes that were hand me downs that helped tons.

krispy83 · August 2014

We got some things used, but many of the big things we opted for new items, particularly when safety is a concern. New carseat, stroller, crib mattress, etc. I got a hand-me-down glider, crib and tons of clothes from my best friend. From another friend I got a swing, bouncy seat, brest friend nursing pillow, more clothes, some toys and a baby carrier. Totally fine with all of those things, since I knew that they were safe and from a smoke-free home. Everything got washed and sorted through.

We welcomed hand-me-downs because we're both teachers and knew that I was cutting back to part time after DS was born, so we wanted to save money where we could, since there are always other expenses with kids.

There's absolutely nothing wrong with wanting all new stuff if it's within your budget. However, I do agree with the suggestion of having some more moderately priced items on your registry, or you may wind up with a million blankets, loveys, etc. Think beyond just infancy - with DS I put sippy cups, books, older baby/toddler age toys on my registry as well, and got a lot of that stuff because it wasn't expensive.

HerHighness · August 2014

ChickenOnSunday said:

This is my kid's high chair. A neighbor of a friend was tossing it because they were moving. I love it b/c there isn't any fabric. Also, we can easily take it with us if we go to a friend's house for dinner or the lake for the weekend. Rough estimate…my kid has puked in it at least 25 times. Can't even tell it is battle worn.

I have this exact high chair that we used for travel (and at home for awhile even tho we have a big graco one) its oerfect for grandparents house, dinners at friends restaurants, picnics.... Its amazing!! And yes so easy to clean and straps right onto any chair.

mommy5point0 · August 2014

Eh. I choose to get whatever I can used, except for a car seat (which I'm using from the last baby, I conceived this one when she was 8 months old) and crib mattress. Actually, crib too. I am not beyond buying secondhand cribs especially if they're like new and otherwise pricey... But MIL offered us SIL's spare crib that has been in their "baby room".... I mean fine if she wants to use it for the other grand kids' overnights but it was bought for our nephew who was born in 2003. Uh, no.

In regards to breast pumps, aren't they covered by your insurance? I thought that was a benefit of Obamacare regulation? Or am I wrong?

StephanieLBerg · August 2014

The only things I'm getting used are my breast pump and cloth diapers from my aunt, because lets face it, I can't afford to pay her $35-$40/diaper for new ones. Past that, everything else we are getting brand new. Now, I did some comparison shopping when I as setting up my registry and found the best prices to be at Target and Burlington Coat Factory. However, I just drove about twenty miles over the state line to visit my mother last weekend, and we went to Kmart, and saw the exact same stuff for way cheaper! How does that work? My mom lives in 24/7 tourist country where everything is at least 30% more expensive than where hubby and I live. So when I see the exact same crib in the exact same color, for $200 less than Wal-Mart, my brain had a serious malfunction! I was thinking we were going to have to buy used to be able to afford everything, but then I came across the gold mine that is Kmarts baby section and my hope at buying new was restored!

mrsherr22 · August 2014

@jaztastic‌ @chickyclg‌ I'm all about buying new. I keep telling DH that I've had a vision of the nursery and baby things for a long time and that he just needs to let it happen. Since we're having twins I didn't get a nursery set on PB but did find cribs almost identical close to half the cost. I did register for some cheaper items but we have lots of family & friends who are wanting to give graciously as we have to them over the years with baby items. I don't think your bitchy at all for wanting new or else I'm a snobby bitch too.

crash916 · August 2014

We had a mix of new and used with DD. All the big ticket items except furniture we registered for and received. I credit this to be blessed with two large showers. My DH and FIL made the crib, dresser, and some shelving for the nursery. We will be reusing that furniture with baby #2.
As far as used, we received tons of clothes from SIL for baby and maternity for me which was great. I have also shopped 2nd hand for clothes for DD. Most of the tiny sizes barely were worn more than a few times.
You have to do what you're comfortable with as far as new verses used. We mainly do used clothing from family and 2nd hand stores. I had a friend who did all used furniture since she got it from family.

maryxc1 · August 2014

I was thankful to get tons of hand me downs with DS. I think new would be nice, but so many things they use for such a short time it is not worth the money. I do have rules about what I use second hand, though. I have to be able to either put it in the washing machine or wipe it down with bleach. Of course I only use car seats new.

bhjones1980 · August 2014

I am 100% with you, I actually started a mini family war with in-laws with DS since we did not want their second hand nursery furniture, I wanted my own new stuff, that matched, that went with the room decor I was designing for his nursery. I really didn't have anything second hand for DS, except some clothes from SIL once he got older and her three boys started outgrowing them.

My thoughts (which my DH was on board with), this is OUR baby, we can afford it, so I am getting what I want.

I actually feel a little bad for this new LO since I just dont have the energy (or the money right now, thanks to carrying two mortgages) to put into getting all the new stuff this time, we already have the crib, dresser changing table set which came from SIL from her three boys (so should we call that 4th hand?), and boxes and boxes of girl clothes from other SIL from our niece, and I still have my pump from DS and all the bottles, etc.

Ill be surprised if I buy ANYTHING new for this LO.... good thing she is going to be only the second granddaughter of 8 on DH side and the first girl on my side, so I think family might take care of getting her some cute new things.

brroseb · August 2014

I will take used everything if it is in good condition. Knowing how little some stuff gets used, or the spit up that gets on it, food smeared on it, etc... I will happily spend less for the same quality. I know good and well that baby will get some new clothes, bc it is just fun to buy new clothes and I didnt save all of previous children's clothes, so I will ave where I can. *** side note *** I am a cheap ass.

schnitz9 · August 2014

@jaztastic you are soo not alone here. I am in the same boat. As the last one of my friend and family to have a baby, I too want the expensive/new things. I've always been this way. I am a person that truly does my research and believes is paying for quality. If anyone gives me shit then don't buy it. I will in the end anyway. I've shelled out thousands in the past 15 years for various friends and family for the stuff they wanted and never made a peep. What I can't stand is people wanting expensive things because they are expensive. I worked in luxury fashion and retail for 12 years. I have all the $4000 purses and $3000 dollar suits. Did I buy them because they were expensive? NO! I bought them because of the quality they are made with. I have some chanel from my grandmother that are 50 years old and looks like they were purchased yesterday. There is a justification to everything. When I buy things I inspect them and really ask myself is it worth the money you are paying for it. My hubby didn't understand the $800 stroller. But when we went and looked and did the reviews he saw the value and quality. We do plan on having a second child soon after our first is born. We want things that will last for both children and don't want our second child to feel like the "hand-me down child". You went through a lot to be at this point. Dolce deserves the best and so do you. I may get flamed for sounding like a brat but if we have the means and are blessed with people who want to buy us these things why not. There are times though when i do get concerned. My best friend wanted the Orbit stoller so bad. Nobody bought it for her so she bought it herself. The issue is her and her boyfriend were only living on her salary at the time and could barely afford their rent. If you can't afford it don't go into debt. So not worth it. But if you got the money go to town.

jennasnipes · August 2014

I think it would be nice to be able to buy everything new, if you had the money to so that! I have been looking for barely used items at consignment shops, yard sale sites, etc. I do plan to splurge on brand new "twin" items like clothes, bedding, etc that would otherwise be hard to find in matching sets of 2.
There's nothing wrong with wanting all new items though! Your baby your rules! Haha

Mrs.EvilQueen · August 2014

I'm glad this came up! I was just trying to justify the price of the custom designed bedding set I want. After six years of dreaming about a nursery I want it exactly right! I also plan on mostly new quality stuff. This could be our only oppertunity so Im gonna make it count.

michelle142 · August 2014

We got all of the big items new - crib, chair, dresser, PNP, car seats, bouncer.. etc.

Clothes I have no problem buying 2nd hand. They wear them for such a short period of time that I can't bring my cheap self to justify buying all clothing new. I shop clearance racks a lot, so if it is new, it was probably on deep discount.

ETA: Other things I will (and have) purchased used: BOOKS (those can get so pricey), Toys as long as they are in good condition, good condition shoes, stroller (scored a Joovy Caboose, barely used for $100).

rhapsody11 · August 2014

I am so with you too @jaztastic‌! It might be the IF. I have been waiting to get pregnant for so long that I have been dreaming of picking out all the stuff LO will need/want. I have a couple friends who are done having kids that are already trying to unload all their stuff on me and I'm thinking "hey, you got to pick out all the stuff for your kids. Why don't I get to do the same?" I feel like it's a rite of passage and I want to experience it. Also, we have a large family who have been waiting for me to have a baby, and we will need a lot of items on our registry. If, after we have the baby and he/she seems to want something different from what we bought, then I would be happy to look to friends to lend me something different that worked for their kids.

psychobutthead · August 2014

I think being a FTM and wanting everything new is perfectly reasonable. If you choose to have more kids then the items you bought for the first LO can be passed down.

I also don't see anything wrong with having pricier tastes. if its what you want and its good quality and you can afford it go for it.

That being said I think people should live within their means. My BIL doesn't live within his but he and his gf have very expensive taste that they can't afford. So my inlaws all end of floating the bill for his twins.

When I was pregnant with DD I wanted everything new but I ended up pretty much not having anything new.

With this baby if I find quality items second hand I buy them. The rest will be new and neutral so it can be passed down.

mishka29 · August 2014

jaztastic said:
@ChickenOnSunday‌... I have been offered a bobby, 2 high chairs, an infant car seat (because the kid just upgraded to a bigger one), I've gotten a lot of offers for clothes but people are waiting for me to announce the sex. Most times I get "let me know as soon as you find out what you are having, because we have so much boy/girl stuff you can have"

If there are things you know you don't want then don't take them. If you are on the fence ask what they are going to do with them if you don't take them or if they are expecting it back...if it's your stuf to do as you please with then I wouldn't worry about taking the stuff. If you don't like it you can donate it.

This is what I say to my sister with some things. If she's going to get rid if it then I'll take it, try it, keep or donate. If she has someone else she will give it to and I don't think I really need/want it then I tell her to pass it on.

Clothes...take the clothes! My kid basically ruins every outfit she is put in. I get clothes from 4 people right now. I sort by - donate, keep to wear and keep to give to someone else. Lol

mishka29 · August 2014

Oh one thing I HAD to have new was a going home from the hospital outfit - it was just a onsie and pants but I did not want to hear anyone say 'oh I recognize that outfit' which is something I hear a lot now.

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