Community› The Bump Message Boards› 3rd Trimester
3rd Trimester
New Discussion

No one buying anything from registry...

124»

Re: No one buying anything from registry...

  • rahboo15rahboo15 member
    I don't understand why so many women are rude in their comments. Aren't these discussion boards supposed to be supportive? Where we can come to ask our "dumb" questions and get answers from others without being judged or shamed? Just an observation.

    Anyways, to answer your question, here's my experience (take it or leave it): I understand where you are coming from. My husband and I tried everything we could to get help through many different programs for financial assistance with our coming baby, but the reality of it is we just make about $100ish dollars MORE than the qualifying amount. Barely over the limit. I only just graduated college this year and my husband is in his first year of his master's program, so our income is pretty low, but apparently not low enough but a ridiculous amount. We're not about to quit our jobs just so we can make that requirement because of many circumstances that strangers on this board don't need to be privy to. But for all these reasons, I was really hoping that, IF guests chose to buy me a gift for my baby shower, they would buy the more practical things, just like it sounds like you're hoping for. And luckily, I was taken care of on baby clothes because I'm the youngest of 9 kids and my older siblings passed down baby girl clothes to me for free.
    Because of this, on my baby shower invite, I politely stated that "due to generous family gifts of clothing, [I] won't be in need of clothing gifts." That's all it said, in small writing at the bottom. Not demanding gifts, not sounding ungrateful or expectant of anything. Just informing guests. None of my guests were offended (maybe I just have kind friends and family that aren't easily offended) and I received mostly practical gifts from anyone who wanted to contribute. Most things I received weren't from my specific registries, but were still practical. Yes, guests WILL ultimately buy you whatever THEY want to get you, so I did have some clothing given to me still, but who says you can't still be grateful for what you get? From your post, it sounds like you would still be grateful for whatever you're given; you're just trying to be practical.
    And if this is your first baby, who can blame you for being overly worried about everything baby? I know I am!

    Hope this helps.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • ZimgerZimger member

    In my experience people that attend baby showers are not ignorant of a new mothers needs. Perhaps people have purchased things like diapers for your shower but have not claimed it on your registry. I doubt I would. I have purchased diapers for showers in the past. I simply went to the nearest store. I didn't worry about the registry when it comes to basics.

    You are just going to have to wait to see what is gifted to you. In the meantime I would be keeping an eye out for deals on the necessities.

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • secret214uWed28879secret214uWed28879 member
    the way I see it, you are having your baby, it's your responsibility to raise and buy things on your own for your child. showers are a gift and not a demand to get what you want .be appreciative in getting gifts for your baby.
    Report Reply
  • WinnieellaWinnieella member
    I really thought this thread was dead....why did it get brought back to life?
     ***********************************************************************************************
      blogbutton badge!!!
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
    Report Reply
  • SmirpSmirp member
    most people buy day of or day before showers. 

    Report Reply
  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    image

    image

    image

    image

    image

    image

    image
    GIFSoup


    LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:



    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    Report Reply
  • akjloakjlo member
    I'm not even having a shower, a sister offered to throw me one but I just hate being the center of attention!  Introvert to the max, here.  I have an Amazon registry, I post it on Facebook every once in awhile, but if people don't buy me stuff then I've settled to figure it out on my own.  Really, the kid just needs love and safety.  I've bought my cloth diaper stash, we'll wing it from there!

    image

     First Baby!! HOPING for natural birth -- HOPING for cloth diapers to work out! 

    Report Reply
  • allydowneyallydowney member
    edited December 2013
    Oy... so much judgment on this thread.  

    @emeraldcity84, I'm probably getting to this WAY after your shower, but I really empathize. What I'm reading in your post is anxiety about waste -- not selfishness or greed.  Parents get a TON of gifts they'll never use (or dupes of things they already have), and everyone loses out: the gift-giver's generosity is for naught, and the parent (post-shower) still needs all of the necessities. Incidentally, we own 24 Aden+Anais swaddle blankets... got SIX individual boxes as very thoughtful, well-meaning gifts.

    I recently hosted a surprise shower in New York City for a friend who lives in South Africa, and we knew she simply wasn't going to have suitcase space for lots of adorable baby clothes and blankets. We wanted to send her home with the necessities, so in the invitation, I asked the attendees to consider contributing to a "gift fund" in lieu of a gift.  Everyone was incredibly gracious about it, and instead of opening individual gifts, the mom-to-be received a basket (well, actually a travel bassinet) full of all the necessities that no one winds up buying you: breast milk storage bags, a baby thermometer, tiny nail clippers, pacifier clips, swaddles, etc.
    EDITED BY MOD FOR SPAM.
    PLEASE KEEP YOUR PERSONAL BUSINESS INFO OFF THE BOARDS, THANK YOU.

    Photo of the shower basket we made here!  


    Report Reply
  • EmeraldCity84EmeraldCity84 member
    @allydowney Thanks, yes, that was my main point, not that I was put out about having to provide for my child.  Shower turned out great, but I literally got only clothing, in newborn size, that I did not register for. So, most of it was exchanged for more variety of sizes, and some things I actually needed.  That's just the way it goes with showers, I guess.
    Report Reply
  • allydowneyallydowney member
    @emeraldcity84 Newborn size clothing = another bane! :) My son was a little peanut, so we actually needed it -- but I have tons of friends who had 8 pound babies who never even fit in it.  

    This whole exchange has inspired me to write an article about how no one really likes baby showers...


    Ally Downey
    weeSpring.com | CEO

    917.957.8644 | @allysondowney


    Mashable: "New Parents, Bookmark This Website."

    Watch us on Bloomberg TV!

    Report Reply
  • Meery82Meery82 member
    @allydowney, just an FYI: you may get your posts marked as spam and removed for promoting your business here.
    BabyFruit Ticker Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers
    Report Reply
  • UnknownUnknown
    This content has been removed.
  • keg79380keg79380 member
    Keep tags on things and exchange them for items needed.
    Report Reply
  • AshleyDollAshleyDoll member
    I'm on baby number 5.... With my first, my grandma and mom planned my shower and I have to say I absolutely hated it. Thankful for everything I got of course but I really thought the whole thing was pointless and would have been a lot happier if the attention wasn't shifted on the baby and me or if no one had brought a gift at all! I hate having attention on me like that though, for which reason I haven't acknowledged my birthday since I was 14. So that's probably just me.

    I really think that a baby shower is more a show of love and support than gifts. While it's understandable that you NEED things and you do have it a bit harder since you will be a single mom, a registry is more of a suggestion guide than a "must purchase" guide. People understand that there are things you need for your baby but you also have to remember that this is not their baby, it is yours. I know there are places to help out there with moms or parents who can't afford necessities for their babies so if you need anything that you aren't able to get, try to look for help.

    Sorry this was kind of all over the place, lack of sleep, preggo brain, and contractions and making my mind all wonky today!
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie Fourth Birthday tickers Lilypie Third Birthday tickers Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
     
    Report Reply
  • cblakincblakin member
    zombie thread
    BabyFruit Ticker
    Report Reply
  • portentosaportentosa member
    TrinityRebirth said:

    Ha!  Fail!  I don't know how I got on this thread!  I thought I was posting on this one: https://forums.thebump.com/discussion/12409654/no-one-using-the-baby-registry/p1

    I was so confused for a minute there, @tromboner!


    Ha, yes. There are far too many of these and they all look the same.
    Report Reply
  • cool632cool632 member
    No one has to buy you anything. just be thankful for what people do bring you. you never know someone might get you something that you didn't know you need but used it anyway. and also say thank-you even if it is something that you don't want.
    Report Reply
  • cozybluebearcozybluebear member
    Maybe you need to get some support from the baby's Dad. Whether he is in your life or not, he made the baby and should be partly responsible. I don't know what your relationship is with him but to be fair, that is your baby's money and he/she is entitled to it so you may need to put your pride aside.
    Report Reply
  • AWright529AWright529 member
    I see what both the OP and everyone else is saying. A baby registry is essentially a wish list of what the mother wants and may feel she need. Guest of the baby shower aren't necessarily obligated to purchase anything on the list, though some may find it's easier than to just guess and assume what the MTB may like. As some others have posted, guests may buy things on the registry and neglect to mention it to the cashier, or buy at the last minute. It is adviseable to save just in case you don't get all that you need. Buy as much as possible (and safe) second hand/ gently used.


    However, I think that there was a more polite way of explaining this to her. Telling her "tough shit" and "get over it" is kind of rude. Not everyone responds well to "tough love" As a new mother, and a single one at that, she's in uncharted territory and came here for advice and support.I'm more than certain that more than a few of us have been, or will be, in her shoes.

    Good luck to you!

    Report Reply
  • danascullyxdanascullyx member
    edited August 2014
    EmeraldCity84 said:
    I think this is a cute idea. I also have a friend who told me about a "Diaper Party" where snacks/drinks are provided for the guests and everyone just brings a pack of diapers. Very casual, but nice way to get some necessities and spend time with friends.

    No, just no. I would not attend this "party," where you are just trying to get me to buy more things for YOUR baby that YOU chose to have. You need to grow up and figure out how to provide for your own child. If you NEED items, as you stated, then you need to be able to buy them.

    ETA: Sorry I posted on the zombie thread! Oops.

    TB is dead.




    || [url=http;//www.fertilityfriend.com]Ovulation Chart[/url]
    || <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com" style="font-size:smaller;" >Ovulation Cha
    Report Reply
  • danascullyxdanascullyx member
    edited August 2014
    And a double post. Thanks, Bump!
    TB is dead.




    || [url=http;//www.fertilityfriend.com]Ovulation Chart[/url]
    || <a href="http://www.fertilityfriend.com" style="font-size:smaller;" >Ovulation Cha
    Report Reply
  • EmeraldCity84EmeraldCity84 member
    I feel so famous for having created this huge thread that apparently still lives on. 
    Report Reply
  • EmeraldCity84EmeraldCity84 member
    That's ok, I guess you don't see the humor in it as I do! 
    Report Reply
  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    EmeraldCity84 said:

    That's ok, I guess you don't see the humor in it as I do! 

    There is nothing funny about this thread... :|


    LFAF Summer 2016 Awards:



    Lilypie First Birthday tickers

    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"