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February 2015 Moms
lorenaellen86
member
Loss.
lorenaellen86
member
I had my first ultrasound today. I wasn't the least bit excited, just nervous because that's how I always am. I think I do that because somehow I subconsciously believe that it's going to prevent bad things from happening.
Well, it didn't work because my worst fears were realized. As soon as she put the ultrasound thingy (paddle?) on my belly, I knew it was bad. You couldn't see anything. I'm supposed to be 11 weeks along. She started asking me if I was sure about my last period and if my periods were regular. She said I looked way earlier than the dates I had given them and that in order to see anything, she needed to do the internal US.
I immediately started crying and asked if somethibg was wrong. But she wouldn't tell me anything. She said people are off with their dates all the time. When she did the internal one, she snapped some photos and measured. She said I looked about 5 weeks and 5 days along. There was no heartbeat. Of course, if I was only 5 weeks along, it would be too early to see a heartbeat. But I know that's not possible. I'm fairly certain I had a positive pee test more than 5 weeks ago.
She sent me to this room where I waited for 45 minutes to see a dr. I already knew what had happened and I was expecting the dr to confirm it. It was hard to sit there that long waiting on the inevitable. But instead she just came in and said the same thing the us tech said. They made me another appt for 2 weeks ahead for another us. But she wouldn't come out and say that there wasn't much of a chance. It was like she was afraid to be honest with me.
I am so heartbroken. I didn't even expect to get pregnant so early after getting married, although I'll admit that I wasn't being very cautious. But once I found out, I was so excited. It was all I thought about. Now that it's gone... I know it isn't my fault, but I feel like such a failure. Hubby was really excited too and ended up telling more people than I wanted. I wasn't mad because it meant a lot to me how excited he was to start a family. But now we have to tell them all. It sounds silly, but I feel like I've let everyone down.
What sucks is that I have continued to have pregnancy symptoms. This morning, I had ms. I still feel pregnant. Only I guess I'm not really.
I guess I'm going to get a second us, but I think I'm going to go to a different dr. My experience today really left a bad taste in my mouth. I'm not holding out any hope, but I think it's a good idea to make sure. I just wish my dr would have been more direct. You'd think they would be better at delivering bad news...I'm sure it isn't the first time.
Anyway, keep me in your thoughts. I've really taken this hard and a few good wishes couldn't hurt.
Well, it didn't work because my worst fears were realized. As soon as she put the ultrasound thingy (paddle?) on my belly, I knew it was bad. You couldn't see anything. I'm supposed to be 11 weeks along. She started asking me if I was sure about my last period and if my periods were regular. She said I looked way earlier than the dates I had given them and that in order to see anything, she needed to do the internal US.
I immediately started crying and asked if somethibg was wrong. But she wouldn't tell me anything. She said people are off with their dates all the time. When she did the internal one, she snapped some photos and measured. She said I looked about 5 weeks and 5 days along. There was no heartbeat. Of course, if I was only 5 weeks along, it would be too early to see a heartbeat. But I know that's not possible. I'm fairly certain I had a positive pee test more than 5 weeks ago.
She sent me to this room where I waited for 45 minutes to see a dr. I already knew what had happened and I was expecting the dr to confirm it. It was hard to sit there that long waiting on the inevitable. But instead she just came in and said the same thing the us tech said. They made me another appt for 2 weeks ahead for another us. But she wouldn't come out and say that there wasn't much of a chance. It was like she was afraid to be honest with me.
I am so heartbroken. I didn't even expect to get pregnant so early after getting married, although I'll admit that I wasn't being very cautious. But once I found out, I was so excited. It was all I thought about. Now that it's gone... I know it isn't my fault, but I feel like such a failure. Hubby was really excited too and ended up telling more people than I wanted. I wasn't mad because it meant a lot to me how excited he was to start a family. But now we have to tell them all. It sounds silly, but I feel like I've let everyone down.
What sucks is that I have continued to have pregnancy symptoms. This morning, I had ms. I still feel pregnant. Only I guess I'm not really.
I guess I'm going to get a second us, but I think I'm going to go to a different dr. My experience today really left a bad taste in my mouth. I'm not holding out any hope, but I think it's a good idea to make sure. I just wish my dr would have been more direct. You'd think they would be better at delivering bad news...I'm sure it isn't the first time.
Anyway, keep me in your thoughts. I've really taken this hard and a few good wishes couldn't hurt.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Loss.
DS born 12.26.2012
BFP 6.11.14 - EDD 2.25.15
But remember you are NOT a failure
IVF#1 - BFP 6/18/13 - Tommy born sleeping 10/1/13
IVF#2 - BFN
IVF#3 - BFP 6/5/14 EDD 2/14/15 TWIN BOYS - MATTHEW AND TIMOTHY ARRIVE 12/2/14
Quick question - did she order a HGC blood test?? Also if you left not feeling like answers were questioned and stuff then call tomorrow and ask for someone else. Also they can get a heart beat at 6weeks so if you are measuring 5, they should see you at least next week( to see if heart beat or even to see if sadly you are loosing this one) if call, ask for 2nd opinion now! And if you didn't get a HGC maybe see into that. They can take one now and again later to see how your #'s are going.
Please please try not to get so upset, relax and try to stay positive still. I know how hard it is! Trust me! Maybe have hubby give you a back rub!
Do you have pain? Blood?
Thoughts are with you, I'm so very sorry
BFP #2 11/6/13 - EDD 7/14/14 - blighted ovum discovered @ 7w - natural m/c @ 10w3d
BFP #3 5/25/14 - EDD 2/1/15 - Hoping this is our 2nd little owl
A/S findings: Baby is a girl! EIF found on heart
but maternit21 came back neg for chromosome disorders!!
PP was right. No matter what you are not a failure. Take care of yourself.
Monster Truck (It's a GIRL!) is due 19/02/2015!
Sarah, 35 bumping from NE Ohio
Married my love 4/22/2006
DD born 10/12/2009
DS born sleeping 2/23/2013 full trisomy 18
Baby 3 due 2/13/2015
Number two
BFP: 6/4/14 EDD: 2/11/15
Pregnancy #2 Natural Miscarriage at 6 weeks 03/2014 Due date 11/9/2014
Pregnancy #3 DS 02.23.2015
Pregnancy #4 Missed Miscarriage at 11 weeks 11/2018 Due date 5/22/2019
Pregnancy #5 Positive test 12/11/2019 Due Date 8/17/2020
ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive. Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)
DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!
So sorry. T&P