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November 2014 Moms
Stupid shit people say (or do) to pregnant ladies.
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Re: Stupid shit people say (or do) to pregnant ladies.
I did get the following though:
-MIL asking (last week) if we were looking for suggestions for names. Then telling DH that we should follow the family tradition (???) and use his grandma's maiden name for the baby's middle name. DH was all, "WTF are you talking about - my middle name is Dad's name...there is no family tradition." I think she pulled it out of her ass so there would be a family name in there. Anyway, DH said we had a name picked out so we were all good. And, neener, there's sorta a family name on my side, bwahahahaha.
-My coworker asked me if my baby would have diabetes when born. Le sighe. I let it slide though, he's a little socially awkward and some people really don't get it. (FYI, due to when I was diagnosed, my age at pregnancy, and the fact that I'm the mom not the dad, my baby has a 1 in 100 chance of being diagnosed with T1D in their lifetime...generally the same as the regular population. If my DH was T1 (and I wasn't), baby would have a 1/10 chance. If we both were T1, baby would have a 1 in 4 chance.)
-ETA: I've been told by my OB that I have a higher chance of having an induction or scheduled C-section due to placenta deterioration that happens with T1s. The few people I've told this to have said, "Oh because of your diabetes the baby will be big?" So, apparently diabetes automatically means big baby. Which isn't true. If my blood sugars are in good control (which they are) there's no reason baby should be bigger than normal.
Overall though, people have been great so far. No strangers have tried to rub my belly, I haven't gotten any "are there 2 in there?" comments, or anything like that.
I found a diet coke with my name on it at the store last week so I bought it. DH was all "But you can't drink that, it has caffeine!" I've barely had any caffeine since BFP. I told him it was okay because Coke said I could have it. Seriously, I've had almost no caffeine since BFP. I don't think a 20oz is going to do any harm.
I had a mom friend who hasn't seen me in several months ask the "Are you sure it's not twins?" Really? You know this is my 4th and things are "pre-stretched".
Mo 11/4/14
Wait, What?!? - EDD 11/1/19
I haven't had people ask if there was more than one yet, but I am sure it's coming.
The other awkward question I get a lot is "are you excited?" (I'm sure everyone gets this). Obviously I'm excited, but I feel like I should say "no" just to throw them off.
It's weird because I absolutely do not think anything different of people having babies and not being married, but for some reason I'm worried about people judging me thinking I'm not.
N14 Nov. Siggy: CELEBRATION!
Uh, thank you?
It was ok the first few times, but people keep insisting, and it's really annoying.
Also all the comments I get from my coworker when I eat sweets. I don't need you to tell me I need to slow down or be careful......I am capable of watching my own food intake.
Nov. '14 January Siggy : Work Sucks!
Me 32-DH 38
Married July 14, 2007 ----- TTC # 1 October 1, 2013
BFP March 7, 2014 ----- EDD November 17, 2014 ---- Baby boy born November 16, 2014
"When are you due?"
"November 8th"
"Oh ,the 9th is my birthday, you should wait until that day"
First of all I don't really know you so your birthday is irrelevant to my baby, and I will have a scheduled section before the date.
I've gotten that birthday one so. Many. Times. Apparently a lot of people I know where born on the 7th, 8th and 9th of November. Then, my SIL who was born October 24th wants me to have my baby that day 0.o um no, I don't want my baby that early, thanks.
Today a woman working in the grocery store said "I can tell you only have a few weeks left!" I said, "A few months actually. I am due in the fall." Then I gave her sad basset hound eyes to invoke guilt. Then she said "You must be sooooo miserable with the hot weather!" I said "I am perfectly fine and don't mind it at all." Then walked away. I hope a pigeon craps on her when she leaves work.
Yup! N was due a week before my birthday and of course I went late. I didn't want her on my birthday because I didn't want her to feel obligated as an adult to spend our birthdays together. She was born a day after my birthday and I'm making a big effort to make sure they are separate, for her sake. I could honestly care less about it for myself.
Back story: I recently quit my very stressful job. Now I am just working on my business, taking care of my daughter and gestating. It is REALLY nice not to have to work another 50 hrs a week on top of that.
Anyway, so we are out for lunch at a nice restaurant. And 4 people associated with my former work place came to our table and talked our ears off. (Ugh.) The restaurant was busy... they needed more wait staff and these people said "Hey! Now that you are not working at X anymore, you should apply to be a waitress here! They could use your help!"
So these people used and abused me for 6 years of my life - (of my daughter's life, too). Now they want pregnant me to work at their favourite restaurant so I can be abused even more by them? No thanks.
(Please know that I think waiting tables can be a great job, and I would do it if I needed the work. But, well, my business is doing great, and my husband's is doing amazing. I don't need the extra work right now. But they just assume that I must??)
My favorite so far:
H and I are at a gathering of friends, and have recently announced our pregnancy. More than one friend comes up to me (all recent mommies) and launches into a diatribe of what I'll be going through in the next X months ("this hurts, that hurts, you'll never be able to do this fun thing again, you'll never sleep again, watch out for this thing, etc."). Then, in the next breath they turn to H and say, "Oh you're going to be a great dad!"
WTF?
People decided to tell me every horror story about birth this weekend at my baby shower. I about flipped out. Don't people know that these stories DON'T HELP!
"Wow, I can show you some ab moves that might help." (this person knew I was pregnant)
"You don't even look pregnant." (I am very obviously pregnant)
"Are you sure you should be drinking that?" followed by taking my bottle of Vitamin Water and reading out the ingredients to the whole room
Offering everyone else lunch except me, since I of course shouldn't be eating much so I don't gain too much weight.
To everyone who has people touching their belly -- my dad said to just jump and exclaim "No! Don't do that! I have manophobia! Fear of hands..."
I've ranted this before, but after realizing that my musician father had booked dates out of state directly before, on and after my due date he said "Next time you have a kid, plan it in my off season".
I'll assume that was a joke?...but I didn't reply and neither did he ssoooooo....Grandfather of the year ;-)
N14 Nov. Siggy: CELEBRATION!
The "are you sure that you are not having twins" comments that so many women have gotten, these are so just beyond rude about what size you are. How do they know that your pregnancy didn't actually start out as twins and one was lost? This is what happened to us. We were initially pregnant with twins. We lost one at around 8 weeks, I saw someone post the statistics on a board before, it's like 20% or 30% or something like that of what starts as a twin pregnancy results in a single birth.
When we (read me really) finally felt comfortable that we were going to actually have a baby (took until 24 weeks as we had a pretty traumatic start) my husband posted on facebook for his family to see. Well they went on and on about they thought we were having 2 are we sure not twins etc. We had never told anyone in his family about the 2nd baby as the BIL & SIL had a miscarriage & after seeing how the MIL was re that decided we didn't want to deal with her insensitivity on it. Anyway, cue the total breakdown for me. I ended up on the floor of the bathroom in the fetal position just shaking and sobbing. It was so awful, first time I really cried as I was trying to be strong for the remaining baby. So yeah people can be total assholes even more than the obvious on just how rude it is to comment on a woman's size & about how huge she is. People can be so retarded, I know they had no way of knowing about our twin but seriously, STFU when my husband attempted to shut the conversation down and stop going on about it. RUDE on so many levels!
(sorry that kinda turned into a little rant)