DH takes these nasty 30 min long dumps. Doesn't spray air freshner. WORSE: doesn't look at the toilet seat! I swear sometimes he gets more shit ON the toilet than IN it. When I potty train LO I'm going to ask him to sit in on the lessons fml!!!!!!!!
My DH threw a hissy fit tonight because I told him that children's Tylenol is NOT the same as infant Tylenol and then showed him the spot on the bottle that says "under 2 years use Infant Tylenol". Apparently I was supposed to nod and smile and let him give LO the wrong medication. (It's just a different concentration, so the 1mL I told him to get would have been such a small dose of the children's that there would have been no point giving it.)
Married 11/23/11, TTC starting 10/12, BFP#1 11/30/12, Adoption of stepson finalized 03/19/13,Loss of our daughter at 20w4d due to incompetent cervix 03/27/13, BFP#2 06/28/13, DS2 born 3/1/14.
My husband's bathroom habits...I won't even go there. Shudders.
GOOOOOO THEREEEEEE
You asked for it haha
Well he starts out by dusting me with the most horrendous smelling farts at least half an hour before he even goes to the bathroom. Seriously, 30 minutes of awful sulfur ridden rotten egg farts. Followed by not 1, but at least 2, nightly 30 min shits in which he has a very elaborate toilet paper dispensing ritual. It's absurd. And disgusting.
My DH just annoys me bc his poos must be hard as bricks, they leave stains on the bottom of the toilet. Like really clean that shit ( no pun intended ).
Married : ** 09/09/2011 ** BFP : 07-18-13 ** Baby #1 is a GIRL , Born 03/12/14 **
After having a rough night of sleep, I so needed this good read this morning. I haven't laughed so hard in quite a while! I can always count on you ladies to keep me entertained!
Trying not to lol as LO is asleep but yes we are apparently all married to the same man.
My FIL told me years ago that men in his family are the ones who clean the toilet because of explosive pooping skillz they all have "it's really just not fair to ask the wives to clean that Meg" lol.
My DH threw a hissy fit tonight because I told him that children's Tylenol is NOT the same as infant Tylenol and then showed him the spot on the bottle that says "under 2 years use Infant Tylenol". Apparently I was supposed to nod and smile and let him give LO the wrong medication. (It's just a different concentration, so the 1mL I told him to get would have been such a small dose of the children's that there would have been no point giving it.)
I'm bored and lurking today but want to comment because I think medication dosing is important. Unless you have an old (probably near or past expiration) bottle of Tylenol, the infant's and children's really are the exact same thing. Only difference is one comes with a dropper and one with a cup. Both are 160mg/5ml concentration. This changed a couple of years ago in an effort to cut back in dosing errors. Hopefully someday soon ibuprofen will be the same way.
Thanks for the laughs ladies. Also glad I'm not alone. DH is the one who cleans the toilet because of the mess he makes. He seriously has to wipe down the toilet with Clorox wipes every time he goes.
DH is out farming in the hay meadow when he gets the urge. So he has to lean against the tractor so he can get rid of his explosive diarrhea. The story doesn't end here though. He didn't have anything to wipe with so he turned an old leather glove inside out and used it (it was a cheap pair that he didn't like).
Well he gets back to the shop, turns the gloves right and then throws them away. The next morning he gets to work and his boss was wearing the poop gloves! DH was going to say something but his boss started in on him saying that he must pay DH too much if he can throw out a perfect pair of gloves! So dh just smiled and walked away so he didn't laugh at him.
He still wears the gloves to this day! We laugh every time. (
My DH threw a hissy fit tonight because I told him that children's Tylenol is NOT the same as infant Tylenol and then showed him the spot on the bottle that says "under 2 years use Infant Tylenol". Apparently I was supposed to nod and smile and let him give LO the wrong medication. (It's just a different concentration, so the 1mL I told him to get would have been such a small dose of the children's that there would have been no point giving it.)
I'm bored and lurking today but want to comment because I think medication dosing is important. Unless you have an old (probably near or past expiration) bottle of Tylenol, the infant's and children's really are the exact same thing. Only difference is one comes with a dropper and one with a cup. Both are 160mg/5ml concentration. This changed a couple of years ago in an effort to cut back in dosing errors. Hopefully someday soon ibuprofen will be the same way.
Ours the infant is 80mg/mL and the children's is 160mg/5mL. Maybe it's different here in Canada.
uggggghhhhhh -- I refer to it as office hours. DH takes office hours everyday, usually 30-45 mins. He runs the sink faucet too, b/c he doesn't want me to hear him. That' was fine, when we lived in a small condo. But we are in a multilevel house now. I can't hear you. Also- I'm too busy with our 4 month old to listen to you even if I wanted to listen. More importantly - you just ditched me for 45 minutes again! No. No. No. No. Not fair. ugggghhhh
My husband's bathroom habits...I won't even go there. Shudders.
GOOOOOO THEREEEEEE
You asked for it haha
Well he starts out by dusting me with the most horrendous smelling farts at least half an hour before he even goes to the bathroom. Seriously, 30 minutes of awful sulfur ridden rotten egg farts. Followed by not 1, but at least 2, nightly 30 min shits in which he has a very elaborate toilet paper dispensing ritual. It's absurd. And disgusting.
And yes, he poops with the door open.
Are we married to the same person? This is EXACTLY what MH does. Except he has his phone with him the entire time he's in there.
Omg! This is MH! I don't understand how you can be in the bathroom for over 30 minutes, leave poop marks in the toilet, and play on your phone the entire time! It's disgusting!
MH jokes that he sits backwards on the toilet so he can use the toilet as a table. *gag*
My DH threw a hissy fit tonight because I told him that children's Tylenol is NOT the same as infant Tylenol and then showed him the spot on the bottle that says "under 2 years use Infant Tylenol". Apparently I was supposed to nod and smile and let him give LO the wrong medication. (It's just a different concentration, so the 1mL I told him to get would have been such a small dose of the children's that there would have been no point giving it.)
I'm bored and lurking today but want to comment because I think medication dosing is important. Unless you have an old (probably near or past expiration) bottle of Tylenol, the infant's and children's really are the exact same thing. Only difference is one comes with a dropper and one with a cup. Both are 160mg/5ml concentration. This changed a couple of years ago in an effort to cut back in dosing errors. Hopefully someday soon ibuprofen will be the same way.
Ours the infant is 80mg/mL and the children's is 160mg/5mL. Maybe it's different here in Canada.
In the US they recently changed the concentration to the same for both. Which totally sucks because infants have to take more volume than they used to....and they are SOOOO cooperative.
When my DH and I were first dating I lived in a studio apartment and I could touch the bathroom door from my bed. Soooo, yeah…there's literally nothing that he can do now that would phase me. We got that out of the way very quickly. But still, pretty gross soundtrack when you're just relaxing in bed.
How the hell does that happen? I'm a fan of the quick poop. But FUCK the ghost poop.
OP @ill respo d to your post probably when DH gets back. I just miss the bejeezus out of him and it'll probably be puppies and rainbows for a little bit.
I find it amusing that my hubby basically shits the same time everyday. He gets home from work, plays with LO for a few minutes, then says "I'm going to take my shower",...you can hear the vent turn on and then 10 minutes later the shower finally kicks on.
My husband poops the first thing in the morning, like it was building up all night and he just has to let it out, like it was pee.
He thinks I'm strange because I don't poop at the same time everyday. I'm like "hey, it comes when it comes..."
TTC #1 since 2007. Dx: Unexplained infertility. 4 IUIs in 2008 = BFN. IVF #1 07/09. DD #1 born April 2010 (40w5d). TTC #2 since 2011. Dx: Endometriosis and hypothyroidism. 2 FETs in 2012, BFP 6/12 but m/c @ 7 weeks. IVF #2 06/13. DD #2 born March 2014 (40w1d).
Dang it, I can't believe I missed the poop thread! My BF refuses to fart in front of me which is lame because it makes me look extra gross when I fart and laugh my head off about it. I don't even care anymore. One time though, before we moved in together we were at my parents house and he was in the bathroom for literally 45 minutes. He was playing candy crush. Lol. Who the fuck does that?! My whole family thought he was shitting his brains out!
Re: RANT: Shit my DH does
Me: 28 DH: 27
Poop on the lid!
Just kidding I'd still be mad.
)
You asked for it haha
Well he starts out by dusting me with the most horrendous smelling farts at least half an hour before he even goes to the bathroom. Seriously, 30 minutes of awful sulfur ridden rotten egg farts. Followed by not 1, but at least 2, nightly 30 min shits in which he has a very elaborate toilet paper dispensing ritual. It's absurd. And disgusting.
And yes, he poops with the door open.
And he says "no I don't look at the toilet."
-________-
THIS IS HILARIOUS !
My DH just annoys me bc his poos must be hard as bricks, they leave stains on the bottom of the toilet. Like really clean that shit ( no pun intended ).
Married : ** 09/09/2011 ** BFP : 07-18-13 ** Baby #1 is a GIRL , Born 03/12/14 **
** BFP 2 : 01- 05-15 ** EDD 09-11-15 **
My FIL told me years ago that men in his family are the ones who clean the toilet because of explosive pooping skillz they all have "it's really just not fair to ask the wives to clean that Meg" lol.
@sopranoali my husband and I have had the "you don't look at the toilet talk" so many times it's not even funny.
@Berry30 is that's true I'll live to be 120.
Evelyn - 3/15/14
Omg! This is MH! I don't understand how you can be in the bathroom for over 30 minutes, leave poop marks in the toilet, and play on your phone the entire time! It's disgusting!
MH jokes that he sits backwards on the toilet so he can use the toilet as a table. *gag*
How the hell does that happen? I'm a fan of the quick poop. But FUCK the ghost poop.
OP @ill respo d to your post probably when DH gets back. I just miss the bejeezus out of him and it'll probably be puppies and rainbows for a little bit.
Oh and brilliant giffing ladies
TTC #1 since 2007. Dx: Unexplained infertility. 4 IUIs in 2008 = BFN. IVF #1 07/09. DD #1 born April 2010 (40w5d).
TTC #2 since 2011. Dx: Endometriosis and hypothyroidism. 2 FETs in 2012, BFP 6/12 but m/c @ 7 weeks. IVF #2 06/13. DD #2 born March 2014 (40w1d).
One time though, before we moved in together we were at my parents house and he was in the bathroom for literally 45 minutes. He was playing candy crush. Lol. Who the fuck does that?! My whole family thought he was shitting his brains out!