RANT: Shit my DH does — The Bump
March 2014 Moms

RANT: Shit my DH does

Must. Rant. About. To. Explode.

DH takes these nasty 30 min long dumps. Doesn't spray air freshner. WORSE: doesn't look at the toilet seat! I swear sometimes he gets more shit ON the toilet than IN it. When I potty train LO I'm going to ask him to sit in on the lessons fml!!!!!!!!


Any other rants about our DHs?
Pregnancy Ticker

Re: RANT: Shit my DH does

  • The smell I could tolerate. Shit on the toilet seat and lid (the LID FOR CHRISTSAKE) not so much
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Missfunball
  • My DH threw a hissy fit tonight because I told him that children's Tylenol is NOT the same as infant Tylenol and then showed him the spot on the bottle that says "under 2 years use Infant Tylenol". Apparently I was supposed to nod and smile and let him give LO the wrong medication. (It's just a different concentration, so the 1mL I told him to get would have been such a small dose of the children's that there would have been no point giving it.)
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    sopranoali
  • The user and all related content has been deleted.
    image
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    amholley1caseinpoint
  • I'm dying.

    Me: 28  DH: 27
    TTC since 2011
    IVF #1 June 2013 DD born: 2/25/14
    IVF #2 January 2016 Double Transfer: 1/28/2016
    First Beta: 108 Second Beta: 360.3
    Twins EDD: 10/13/2016
    [Deleted User]
  • Haha
    Married 11/23/11, TTC starting 10/12, BFP#1 11/30/12, Adoption of stepson finalized 03/19/13,Loss of our daughter at 20w4d due to incompetent cervix 03/27/13, BFP#2 06/28/13, DS2 born 3/1/14.

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers 
    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • laurenann89laurenann89
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited July 2014
    Edit: mobile gif fail, 70th times the charm!
    Poop on the lid!

    image


    Just kidding I'd still be mad.
    ladyglittersparkles[Deleted User]caseinpoint
  • It's all good @bandteacher‌! I think we are all secretly 12 when it comes to poop humour!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    [Deleted User]Missfunballlnvane00
  • image

    q
    =))



                    Lilypie First Birthday tickers   
    [Deleted User]sopranoaliAliki
  • My husband's bathroom habits...I won't even go there. Shudders.
  • laurenann89laurenann89
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    member
    edited July 2014



    My husband's bathroom habits...I won't even go there. Shudders.

    GOOOOOO THEREEEEEE


    You asked for it haha

    Well he starts out by dusting me with the most horrendous smelling farts at least half an hour before he even goes to the bathroom. Seriously, 30 minutes of awful sulfur ridden rotten egg farts. Followed by not 1, but at least 2, nightly 30 min shits in which he has a very elaborate toilet paper dispensing ritual. It's absurd. And disgusting.

    And yes, he poops with the door open.
    [Deleted User]Missfunball
  • I'm dying reading this
  • No way! And he just leaves it there? 

    YES. I'm like..."do you not look at the toilet when you flush? Realize it's nasty and that another person is going to use it? It's common courtesy!"

    And he says "no I don't look at the toilet."

    -________-
    Pregnancy Ticker
    Missfunball
  • THIS IS HILARIOUS !

    My DH just annoys me bc his poos must be hard as bricks, they leave stains on the bottom of the toilet. Like really clean that shit ( no pun intended ).

     

    Married  : ** 09/09/2011  ** BFP : 07-18-13 ** Baby #1 is a GIRL , Born 03/12/14 ** 
    ** BFP 2 :  01- 05-15 ** EDD 09-11-15 **

    Image and video hosting by TinyPicLilypie First Birthday tickers

    Baby S 2. Lilypie Maternity tickers
  • After having a rough night of sleep, I so needed this good read this morning. I haven't laughed so hard in quite a while! I can always count on you ladies to keep me entertained!
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers Lilypie First Birthday tickers
  • kirotea said:
    You ladies ain't seen nothin until you live with someone who has Crohn's.... 
    A guy at my work had it and he said, "I can shit through a screen door." Nice image.

    Thanks for the laughs ladies, I am LOLing at my desk. 

    image


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker



    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    laurenann89ahc1503Missfunball
  • Also DH read about this and says he's doing me a favor and adding years to my life.

    image


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker



    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    laurenann89[Deleted User]caseinpoint[Deleted User]
  • Jenstwins said:

    My DH threw a hissy fit tonight because I told him that children's Tylenol is NOT the same as infant Tylenol and then showed him the spot on the bottle that says "under 2 years use Infant Tylenol". Apparently I was supposed to nod and smile and let him give LO the wrong medication. (It's just a different concentration, so the 1mL I told him to get would have been such a small dose of the children's that there would have been no point giving it.)

    I'm bored and lurking today but want to comment because I think medication dosing is important. Unless you have an old (probably near or past expiration) bottle of Tylenol, the infant's and children's really are the exact same thing. Only difference is one comes with a dropper and one with a cup. Both are 160mg/5ml concentration. This changed a couple of years ago in an effort to cut back in dosing errors. Hopefully someday soon ibuprofen will be the same way.
    AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    sopranoali
  • @torilea‌ I forgot about to mention my dh, does in fact play on his phone while he's in there too. And take the occasional phone call....

    @sopranoali‌ my husband and I have had the "you don't look at the toilet talk" so many times it's not even funny.

    @Berry30‌ is that's true I'll live to be 120.
    sopranoali
  • jrw526jrw526
    500 Love Its 500 Comments Third Anniversary Photogenic
    member
    Thanks for the laughs ladies. Also glad I'm not alone. DH is the one who cleans the toilet because of the mess he makes. He seriously has to wipe down the toilet with Clorox wipes every time he goes.
    sopranoali
  • stace13 said:

    Jenstwins said:

    My DH threw a hissy fit tonight because I told him that children's Tylenol is NOT the same as infant Tylenol and then showed him the spot on the bottle that says "under 2 years use Infant Tylenol". Apparently I was supposed to nod and smile and let him give LO the wrong medication. (It's just a different concentration, so the 1mL I told him to get would have been such a small dose of the children's that there would have been no point giving it.)

    I'm bored and lurking today but want to comment because I think medication dosing is important. Unless you have an old (probably near or past expiration) bottle of Tylenol, the infant's and children's really are the exact same thing. Only difference is one comes with a dropper and one with a cup. Both are 160mg/5ml concentration. This changed a couple of years ago in an effort to cut back in dosing errors. Hopefully someday soon ibuprofen will be the same way.
    Ours the infant is 80mg/mL and the children's is 160mg/5mL. Maybe it's different here in Canada.
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • uggggghhhhhh  --  I refer to it as office hours.  DH takes office hours everyday, usually 30-45 mins.  He runs the sink faucet too, b/c he doesn't want me to hear him.  That' was fine, when we lived in a small condo.  But we are in a multilevel house now.  I can't hear you.  Also- I'm too busy with our 4 month old to listen to you even if I wanted to listen.  More importantly - you just ditched me for 45 minutes again!  No.  No. No. No.  Not fair.  ugggghhhh
    laurenann89sopranoali
  • torilea said:



    My husband's bathroom habits...I won't even go there. Shudders.

    GOOOOOO THEREEEEEE

    You asked for it haha

    Well he starts out by dusting me with the most horrendous smelling farts at least half an hour before he even goes to the bathroom. Seriously, 30 minutes of awful sulfur ridden rotten egg farts. Followed by not 1, but at least 2, nightly 30 min shits in which he has a very elaborate toilet paper dispensing ritual. It's absurd. And disgusting.

    And yes, he poops with the door open.
    Are we married to the same person? This is EXACTLY what MH does. Except he has his phone with him the entire time he's in there.

    Omg! This is MH! I don't understand how you can be in the bathroom for over 30 minutes, leave poop marks in the toilet, and play on your phone the entire time! It's disgusting!

    MH jokes that he sits backwards on the toilet so he can use the toilet as a table. *gag*

    laurenann89sopranoali
  • Jenstwins said:

    stace13 said:

    Jenstwins said:

    My DH threw a hissy fit tonight because I told him that children's Tylenol is NOT the same as infant Tylenol and then showed him the spot on the bottle that says "under 2 years use Infant Tylenol". Apparently I was supposed to nod and smile and let him give LO the wrong medication. (It's just a different concentration, so the 1mL I told him to get would have been such a small dose of the children's that there would have been no point giving it.)

    I'm bored and lurking today but want to comment because I think medication dosing is important. Unless you have an old (probably near or past expiration) bottle of Tylenol, the infant's and children's really are the exact same thing. Only difference is one comes with a dropper and one with a cup. Both are 160mg/5ml concentration. This changed a couple of years ago in an effort to cut back in dosing errors. Hopefully someday soon ibuprofen will be the same way.
    Ours the infant is 80mg/mL and the children's is 160mg/5mL. Maybe it's different here in Canada.
    In the US they recently changed the concentration to the same for both. Which totally sucks because infants have to take more volume than they used to....and they are SOOOO cooperative.
    jennybean80
  • When my DH and I were first dating I lived in a studio apartment and I could touch the bathroom door from my bed. Soooo, yeah…there's literally nothing that he can do now that would phase me. We got that out of the way very quickly. But still, pretty gross soundtrack when you're just relaxing in bed.
  • DH has his shiterature and marathon poops too.

    How the hell does that happen? I'm a fan of the quick poop. But FUCK the ghost poop.

    OP @ill respo d to your post probably when DH gets back. I just miss the bejeezus out of him and it'll probably be puppies and rainbows for a little bit.

    Oh and brilliant giffing ladies



                    Lilypie First Birthday tickers   
    sopranoali
  • AlikiAliki
    Long-Lasting Membership 2500 Comments 250 Love Its Photogenic
    member
    NewMomma8 said:

    I find it amusing that my hubby basically shits the same time everyday.  He gets home from work, plays with LO for a few minutes, then says "I'm going to take my shower",...you can hear the vent turn on and then 10 minutes later the shower finally kicks on. 

    My husband poops the first thing in the morning, like it was building up all night and he just has to let it out, like it was pee.

    He thinks I'm strange because I don't poop at the same time everyday. I'm like "hey, it comes when it comes..."
    image
    TTC #1 since 2007. Dx: Unexplained infertility. 4 IUIs in 2008 = BFN. IVF #1 07/09. DD #1 born April 2010 (40w5d).
    TTC #2 since 2011. Dx: Endometriosis and hypothyroidism. 2 FETs in 2012, BFP 6/12 but m/c @ 7 weeks. IVF #2 06/13. DD #2  born March 2014 (40w1d).
    Lilypie Fifth Birthday tickers
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    karen31186
  • Dang it, I can't believe I missed the poop thread! My BF refuses to fart in front of me which is lame because it makes me look extra gross when I fart and laugh my head off about it. I don't even care anymore.
    One time though, before we moved in together we were at my parents house and he was in the bathroom for literally 45 minutes. He was playing candy crush. Lol. Who the fuck does that?! My whole family thought he was shitting his brains out!
    laurenann89
Sign In or Register to comment.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards