Someone (I think @Stina2012 ?) said - maybe in anger - that one reason she's avoiding divorce is the hassle of split custody.
Fffc I relate to that. My H would be a nightmare. He would want true 50/50. He would be suspicious and jealous of my new partner. I would feel bad on holidays because he has almost no family. He would pay child support gladly but probably resent alimony. And who knows what kind of trash he'd couple with. (That last part isn't fair. His ex before me was apparently very lovely and stable. But who knows?)
I would say H helps a ton with DD but like @casey78 he still does far less than I do and it makes me ragey.
Oh I totally said it and I totally still think it.
That being said, things have gotten better. I mostly fight with DH over things and people that take his time away from us. Like his parents and his damn meddling boss.
But, I am very lucky, I haven't cooked a meal in like fooorrreeevvvveeerrr. I do a lot of the planning and caring for Riley, but DH takes care of finances and the house. Considering we are buying a new house right that's a lot of work! And he would NEVER pull the stay out all night or not call me routines some DHs pull.
DH has been gone since tues and will be home Sunday...it's be wonderful. Aside from things already mentioned it's more from he works from home and I SAH....A break was needed
FFFC - I found springer on tv....and I am still watching it.
My husband suggested a few days ago that we "try the swing for naps" )
Me: 35 H: 35 Married: 4/5/13 "You know that place between sleep and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I will always love you. That's where I'll be waiting." ~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #1: 11/12/12 EDD 7/25/13 Baby boy: 7/27/13 BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18 BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18 RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl :'( Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28 BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19 Rainbow baby girl born 7/23/19 BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
My life is easier when my SO isn't around. I don't have to cook or clean up after anyone else but myself and Haddy. I swear my SO comes home and it's like a tornado touched down wherever he walks. Last night he dropped a plate of spaghetti on the WHITE living room rug. Then, he asked why I wasn't cleaning it up a certain way and I saw RED (literally and figuratively).
Worst color to see, right? ;-)
There
are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right
temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get
it. ~Irena Chalmers
Sorry for all those with DH not helping as much. We finally had to assign which nights who would be responsible for kitchen clean-up. I'm the type of person who would jump right into it every night after LO went to bed. I'd go straight down to the kitchen to get all bottles made, washed, pump parts washed, dinner cleaned up, etc. I just can't let it sit there all evening. I have to get it done and out of the way. DH, on the other hand, it doesn't bother him as much so I would essentially be doing all the clean up every night. So, we finally decided, he takes care of the kitchen on Mon and Wed and I do on Tues and Thurs. At first, I thought this was a dumb idea but it really has worked. And it works because we both work full time so we divide the responsibilities equally. Now, on his nights, kitchen might not get touched until 10pm but at least I know he'll get it done because it's his night. It really works for us.
My FFFC: I'm almost weened from the pump. I'm only pumping twice a day now for 10 min each. I'm hoping to be down to one pump a day by next week and then be DONE. It's like FREEDOM. BUT, I am in a sick way going to miss it. I've been attached to that thing every three hours when I'm awake, for the past year. It's kinda bittersweet giving it up...
There
are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right
temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get
it. ~Irena Chalmers
P.S. If there was a drinking game called "Drink every time Altima80 says "works", then you'd all be driiiizzzzunk! ;-P
There
are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right
temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get
it. ~Irena Chalmers
My husband stays out all hours often and doesn't call and I really don't care. He's just drinking at a bar to blow off steam after his really stressful job. I stay home and play peekaboo with a tiny little sweetheart, clean a small apartment, and cook unambitious meals. Seems fair to me.
>:D< to all the mommas that need them.....sounds like a bunch of dh's need the nut punch bus! Our marriage is in a good place now, but it has not been without major heartache, tears, and unkind words, on both our parts. Somehow we have made it through, but when I look back sometimes I really don't know how....
My fffc: older kids are away with grandma and grandpa for a couple of days, so I'm binge watching orange is the new black and eating popcorn!!! Yay nap time!!
My husband stays out all hours often and doesn't call and I really don't care. He's just drinking at a bar to blow off steam after his really stressful job. I stay home and play peekaboo with a tiny little sweetheart, clean a small apartment, and cook unambitious meals. Seems fair to me.
Didn't he do this while you were pregnant too? I remember being really stabby for you during all that...
There
are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right
temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get
it. ~Irena Chalmers
I think spanking should be against the rules. If you spanked the cashier at Target for doing something wrong you'd get in trouble so what's the difference of spanking a child for doing something wrong? NO SPANKING
ETA: This is brought to you by the girl who is now leaving to go to the gym, I'll take my lashings when I get back
You wouldn't send the cashier at Target for a time out, either. Not a good comparison.
IMO, you shouldn't compare how you treat an adult with how you treat a kid. An adult won't lie on the ground and scream if they don't get what they want. Two different things.
There
are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right
temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get
it. ~Irena Chalmers
@thegoodpotato I don't care what you compare it to, I still don't agree with it. I agree with spanking about as much as I agree with sleep training... which is not.at.all.
Fffc. I wish my husband would go out when not working. Ladies I love the man but he's like having a sixth kid, so needy and up my ass.
Definitely a factor in why I don't care I love spending time with him, but it's also nice to have some alone time!
DH just asked if he could golf after work and possibly stay down the cape for the night. I told him that was grand as long as he has a pizza delivered to me! Grabbed a bottle of wine during my lunch break so I am excited for a solo night with my favorite little guy
@thegoodpotato I don't care what you compare it to, I still don't agree with it. I agree with spanking about as much as I agree with sleep training... which is not.at.all.
It's your choice to do or not do whatever you want. But it's inappropriate to compare how you would treat an adult who is a complete stranger to how you would treat your own child.
I could have listed the spanker faction and non-spanker faction from our board months ago. Not surprised at all.
I'm not anti-spanking, and I don't care how people choose to discipline their child so long as they're not abusing them. (Appropriate discipline =/= abuse to me)
However, I am doing my best to not spank.
Like I've said previously, I'm really trying to be a conscious parent - to try to teach lessons and the reasoning behind right and wrong. I make very good use of time outs.
Have I spanked? Yes. Once (I think it was somewhere in November maybe?). It was also a parenting moment I wasn't proud of - It was a perfect storm of terrible two/tiny baby/exhaustion/being overwhelmed, and I lost control of my temper. Not trying to excuse myself. It was a bad moment for me, and, like I said, I'm not proud of it.
I think Amanda is pro-spanking. She hits Marnie all the time.
How the heck do you deal with a slap-happy baby? I'm trying to tell her no and gentle hands.... Poor Marnie. When they're playing together, all I can hear is Marnie going, "No! Manda! No hitting! Manda! No hitting! NO! Manda!"
Marnie never hit, so we've never had to deal with this before. I'm trying to discourage it, but it seems to be a result of both frustration and excitement. She slaps if she's mad, and slaps if she's happy. Sigh.
DH is a great, fabulous, wonderful dad. If I died tomorrow I wouldn't have to worry about him caring for LO but sometimes he's a shit partner. That's definitely where we need our work. That felt good to say. I'm tired of people telling me I can't complain because he helps so much. Ummmm it's his kid
@lizabethann06 thank you for that story. I have this image of you in my head of this perfectly level-headed mom who never has to yell or have those hair-pulling "dear god I just don't know what to do right now" moments (other than maybe at the pool the other day, haha).
It's always a relief when other people share their low moments. It makes me feel like a little less of a failure when I can't hold things completely together 100% of the time.
@lizabethann06 I'm not usually confrontational on here, so maybe it's my hormones or something, but I feel like you need to get off of your high horse. You are berating moms for doing the best they can with their children. I am positive that there are things you will do or have done that I would believe are a disservice to your child(ren), but it is not my place to judge you for it (unless you are asking for a debate like @MrsGiantPenis in the other thread ).
@thegoodpotato I don't care what you compare it to, I still don't agree with it. I agree with spanking about as much as I agree with sleep training... which is not.at.all.
It's your choice to do or not do whatever you want. But it's inappropriate to compare how you would treat an adult who is a complete stranger to how you would treat your own child.
Also just so you all know, today our music teacher imparted the "secret to stress free parenting" to our class. "Always use positive directives!" Apparently this will make parenting "easy breezy." So then I spent the rest of class telling Giles to "look with his eyes" at the flag pole he was trying to pull over onto himself rather than saying "hey kid, stop the bullshit, no touching the flag." As you can imagine, the result was that my child giggled at me and kept trying to touch the flag. Not that he would have stopped if I'd said no anyway. Kids. *shrug*
@lizabethann06 - your post made me think, in my best game show hostess voice, name the spankers. I would love to see your guesses on both sides, missy
I have too terrible a memory for such a game with any success. I remember screen names (well, before the great switch) and I remember stories/posts. Which go together...not so much!
@zoom05 I am 100% sure you're not a complete failure. We are all doing as well as we can. Like I said, it's nice to hear that other moms have their low points, too. I've definitely had my fair share of parenting moments I'm not proud of.
I told DH last night that we should have sex each night and morning. He asked if I was trying to get pregnant. I told him if he were on board yes but it's mainly just because I just always want it. He said he wants another kid too but not right away. No vasectomy for him. DHs mom said she won't be attending LOs birthday party. She then reached into her pocket and pulled out pocket change and said "here, my contribution to his party..". I felt like telling her to shove it. I have always wanted to be a model or actress ever since I was a small child. I keep telling DH about it because north Idaho college has classes for it and acting agencies. Since having kids, though, I keep trying to tell myself I should focus on more realistic goals. I just really want my name left in history somehow. I have this fear of dying and being forgotten.
Re: FFFC
FFFC - I found springer on tv....and I am still watching it.
Married: 4/5/13
"You know that place between sleep and awake,
that place where you can still remember dreaming?
That's where I will always love you.
That's where I'll be waiting."
~Peter Pan
*TW*
BFP #2: 10/29/17 MMC dx @ 9 weeks
BFP #3: 2/2/18 MC 2/7/18
BFP #4: 3/2/18 MC 3/9/18
RPL testing and hysteroscopy: all normal
BFP #5: 4/1/18 MMC dx @ 14 weeks ----> genetically normal girl :'(
Hysteroscopy to remove scar tissue 9/28
BFP #6 11/5/18 EDD 7/20/19
BFP #7 12/8/2021 EDD 8/22/2022
There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get it. ~Irena Chalmers
My FFFC: I'm almost weened from the pump. I'm only pumping twice a day now for 10 min each. I'm hoping to be down to one pump a day by next week and then be DONE. It's like FREEDOM. BUT, I am in a sick way going to miss it. I've been attached to that thing every three hours when I'm awake, for the past year. It's kinda bittersweet giving it up...
There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get it. ~Irena Chalmers
There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get it. ~Irena Chalmers
My fffc: older kids are away with grandma and grandpa for a couple of days, so I'm binge watching orange is the new black and eating popcorn!!! Yay nap time!!
Karen - 36 DH - 39
There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get it. ~Irena Chalmers
You wouldn't send the cashier at Target for a time out, either. Not a good comparison.
IMO, you shouldn't compare how you treat an adult with how you treat a kid. An adult won't lie on the ground and scream if they don't get what they want. Two different things.
Monster Truck (It's a GIRL!) is due 19/02/2015!
There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get it. ~Irena Chalmers
Monster Truck (It's a GIRL!) is due 19/02/2015!
I'm not anti-spanking, and I don't care how people choose to discipline their child so long as they're not abusing them. (Appropriate discipline =/= abuse to me)
However, I am doing my best to not spank.
Like I've said previously, I'm really trying to be a conscious parent - to try to teach lessons and the reasoning behind right and wrong. I make very good use of time outs.
Have I spanked? Yes. Once (I think it was somewhere in November maybe?). It was also a parenting moment I wasn't proud of - It was a perfect storm of terrible two/tiny baby/exhaustion/being overwhelmed, and I lost control of my temper. Not trying to excuse myself. It was a bad moment for me, and, like I said, I'm not proud of it.
Monster Truck (It's a GIRL!) is due 19/02/2015!
Also? Confession?
I think Amanda is pro-spanking. She hits Marnie all the time.
How the heck do you deal with a slap-happy baby? I'm trying to tell her no and gentle hands.... Poor Marnie. When they're playing together, all I can hear is Marnie going, "No! Manda! No hitting! Manda! No hitting! NO! Manda!"
Marnie never hit, so we've never had to deal with this before. I'm trying to discourage it, but it seems to be a result of both frustration and excitement. She slaps if she's mad, and slaps if she's happy. Sigh.
Monster Truck (It's a GIRL!) is due 19/02/2015!
@lizabethann06 thank you for that story. I have this image of you in my head of this perfectly level-headed mom who never has to yell or have those hair-pulling "dear god I just don't know what to do right now" moments (other than maybe at the pool the other day, haha).
It's always a relief when other people share their low moments. It makes me feel like a little less of a failure when I can't hold things completely together 100% of the time.
Monster Truck (It's a GIRL!) is due 19/02/2015!
K.
Monster Truck (It's a GIRL!) is due 19/02/2015!
<:-P
@lizabethann06 - your post made me think, in my best game show hostess voice, name the spankers. I would love to see your guesses on both sides, missy
I have too terrible a memory for such a game with any success. I remember screen names (well, before the great switch) and I remember stories/posts. Which go together...not so much!
@zoom05 I am 100% sure you're not a complete failure. We are all doing as well as we can. Like I said, it's nice to hear that other moms have their low points, too. I've definitely had my fair share of parenting moments I'm not proud of.
Are you ok? >:D<
Monster Truck (It's a GIRL!) is due 19/02/2015!
DHs mom said she won't be attending LOs birthday party. She then reached into her pocket and pulled out pocket change and said "here, my contribution to his party..". I felt like telling her to shove it.
I have always wanted to be a model or actress ever since I was a small child. I keep telling DH about it because north Idaho college has classes for it and acting agencies. Since having kids, though, I keep trying to tell myself I should focus on more realistic goals. I just really want my name left in history somehow. I have this fear of dying and being forgotten.