FFFC

[Deleted User] · July 2014

It is Friday, right? We still do this, right?

And... GO!

[Deleted User] · July 2014

My life is easier when my SO isn't around. I don't have to cook or clean up after anyone else but myself and Haddy. I swear my SO comes home and it's like a tornado touched down wherever he walks. Last night he dropped a plate of spaghetti on the WHITE living room rug. Then, he asked why I wasn't cleaning it up a certain way and I saw RED (literally and figuratively).

coco2787 · July 2014

There is no doubt things are easier when my H is gone. The things he helps with do not outweigh the extra work required while he is home.

coco2787 · July 2014

I was out of milk for my coffee yesterday. Guess what I used \:D/

kaylakim · July 2014

Oooh @haddocky‌ I couldn't agree more! That spaghetti on the rug story makes my blood boil for you.

kaylakim · July 2014

I've tried so hard to do things the same for each of my kids.I never wanted Eli to feel like I didn't have as much tube for him but it's hard! I just realized that I don't even have a baby book for him and he'll be over 13 months before his 12 Month pics are taken. This never would have happened with Hailey and Scarlett. I try hard but sometimes life really does get busy. I know he won't care but I've been super conscious of making each child "equal. "

[Deleted User] · July 2014

I forget to lovetit.

I also like when DH is out of town. I also don't think that it is super important that DD learns to point to things.

Kitten80 · July 2014

I wanted to start this when I was up in the middle of the night, but hadn't noticed them when I was catching up on the last 6 weeks of reading and was afraid to...in case it wasn't a thing anymore.

My FFFC I wanted to post: thanks to insomnia, I have started watching Disney teen-targeted shows. Liv and Maddie, Good Luck Charlie, and Austin and Ally.

And I like them.

$:\$ ">

@haddocky - mine too, you are not alone. It's amazing how much less annoyed I am when he isn't home. (edit) Those "little things" cumulatively makes a big impact (erased a too long explanation of this). You can follow the trail through the house and figure out exactly what he did/where he went - so annoying. The worst is when he will claim it wasn't him, but no one else has access/opportunity to said items.

I also get a lot more done when he isn't home because there isn't a lot of wasted time and I don't have to watch him sitting/sleeping while I'm taking care of our responsibilities.

That said, he got me Portillo's cake and shake yesterday, so I am only commiserating and not complaining!

oops, posted too soon...because that pasta story made me so mad. I kept thinking if DH did that pasta sauce might not be the only red I was cleaning from the carpet.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

coco2787 · July 2014

I read somewhere once that living with a man adds 7 hours of housework a week. My only question: "That's it?"

saphires · July 2014

@haddocky I completely agree. DH is a walking mess. I am constantly picking up after him, he tries but he doesn't try hard enough. Sometimes I feel like I am taking care of two children. When he is OOT my house stays clean all week long.
We both work FT and what drives me batty is that when I come home the work doesn't end I don't sit down until after the baby goes to bed and sometimes then I don't even sit down until I go to bed. He immediately sits on the couch and watches TV when he gets home. What happened to sharing the responsibilities, life would be so much less stressful if he helped out with household chores then we could BOTH sit down at the end of the night and relax... GRRRR. Also, I would be super pissed if H watched me clean up his mess and then told me I was doing it wrong, that is soooooo not cool. I am pissed for you.

saphires · July 2014

LO was up at 3:30 this morning and showed no signs of going back to sleep. We drove to Starbucks and I bought a $4 yummy drink.
My FFFC - I bought another one on my way to work. Sorry bank account.

theuntaggablek · July 2014

I have stopped reading UO threads because I hate conflict and they made me angry at people I otherwise like. I can take such cognitive dissonance in in person friendships, but not with internet friends.

Kitten80 · July 2014

kaylakim said:
I've tried so hard to do things the same for each of my kids.I never wanted Eli to feel like I didn't have as much tube for him but it's hard! I just realized that I don't even have a baby book for him and he'll be over 13 months before his 12 Month pics are taken. This never would have happened with Hailey and Scarlett. I try hard but sometimes life really does get busy. I know he won't care but I've been super conscious of making each child "equal. "

I feel this guilt. Although for some things it is my middle daughter that missed out due to a combination of her NICU/surgery/health concerns and the fact that my son at 2 was an adorable, but very busy, handful that had some issues I was dealing with.

Anyhow, so I feel the guilt. I haven't been able to do music, etc classes the same way I did with DS (LO1). However, there are things they get that LO1 didnt.

I like to think of it as unequal, but fair. Each child doesn't get the same, but they all get my best (and for the most part what they individually need). It has been a mom thing for me to realize that fair does not need to be equal.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

econmama said:

Reading about the majority of husbands on this board makes me appreciate mine even more. He shares the cooking, cleaning and childcare duties, waits on me hand and foot during an RA flare, is smart and funny, and puts up with my crap. He's a good kid.

:x

[Deleted User] · July 2014

I miss SRC!

Erinm278 · July 2014

@haddocky‌ I feel that way sometimes too!

My fffc- El goes to day care one day a week during the summer because we had to save her spot and we didn't want her to be she'll shocked when she went back in the fall.

DH just took her to day care and I'm currently laying in bed watching Dr Phil and drinking coffee. Later I'm going to do a sewing project and power clean.

arlingirl · July 2014

What happened with SRC? I must have missed it.

My DH is NOT a cleaner. I've told him he will have to do more before this second baby comes. He's been trying.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

grapeskittles4lyfe · July 2014

I invited a mom to Feli's birthday party that I had previously gotten along with very well. And her LO and Feli seemed to like each other too. It's just that now with current world events unfolding she's been posting and liking scary stuff on FB. Am seriously considering disinviting her.

Eh, who am I kidding. I'm too much of a wuss (and politics should have no place at kids' birthday parties, and disinviting her would be no end of tacky, yadda yadda yadda).

arlingirl · July 2014

FFFC: I really love j13, but since we're TTC I feel like heading to the TTGP board more. Not that I participate enough here, anyway. I lurk and love-tit way more than anything. I don't feel much of a contributor anyway...but I love everyone!

SMac85 · July 2014

My FFFC is related to yesterday's UO. Whenever I go to fancy restaurant or nice functions I always have to make the letters "b" and "d" with my fingers, to figure out which bread plate is mine. Left hand makes a "b" and right makes a "d". That's the only way I remember that the bread plate is always to my left (and obviously drink to my right). This has saved me more than once.

kaylakim · July 2014

@casey78 hugs sister! I could have almost written that myself. DH and I are seriously having issues that we haven't addressed because I think we're both afraid of where it may take us if we admit we've got problems. Hearing how awesome other partners are makes me feel so bad for our situation and resentful. Vent away or pm me if you ever want to chat!

KKinATX · July 2014

Mine is that I was home sick on Tuesday and Wednesday. When I saw the doctor on Wednesday morning he recommended I use some chloraseptic throat spray. I could have just stopped at Walgreens by my house but I needed a few things at Target so to Target I went. I might have done a little extra shopping while I was there. But I was legit sick .

Pink724 · July 2014

I'm sorry for the ladies that are having such rough times with their SOs. Hugs! >:D<

We have been NTNP for the past two months. This morning I POAS again (it's been almost 5 weeks since last CD1, but I'm not charting so who even knows when I O'd) and it was negative again and I got very sad. Guess it's time to take the "not trying" part out of the equation next month!

saphires · July 2014

I should clarify, my H is a good dad and does help a lot with the childcare part. If he didn't I would really lose my shit on him. He's never HAD to think about these things because I had always done them pre-baby. But adding baby to the equation all of the household responsibilities really stress me out on top of bills, appointments working FT, daycare drop off & pick up etc. etc. He needs to re-train his brain. It doesn't matter how many come to Jesus talks I have with him, nothing changes. I don't feel appreciated or respected. We have gone to marriage counseling once. It seemed to help and things were better for about a week and then went right back. I know we need to go consistently but with a couple deaths in our family it has been hard to find the time. To be honest, if money weren't an issue I would probably divorce him.

Sorry to vent on FFFC.

MRads · July 2014

>:D< big hugs @‌casey78

I try not to talk too much about my division of labor with H, because I know a lot of people would judge it. But it mostly works for us. And now that it isn't tax season and with H's new job, he only works 8 hours, he has really stepped up around the house. I always knew he would, but it was hard when he was in school, working and has a business on the side.

Plus, I get a little territorial over B. I do all drop offs and picks ups, because I get sad when H does it. I like bringing him shopping with me. I like having him with me at all hours that he is awake and I'm not at work. I should probably work on that, but H doesn't care.

saphires · July 2014

Thanks @mystererae & hugs to everyone else with SO problems. >:D<

kmvw · July 2014

Totally feeling the frustration with DH's. When I am not home yet from work, he is good with LO, but the second I get home, she is all my responsibility while he watches tv. LO wants to play with him and he just doesn't get it sometimes. Get down on the floor and play with your daughter, its not that hard to give her your undivided attention and before you know it, she's going to be all grown up. It drives me nuts. He does cook dinner most nights but only because I am busy with LO. He gets mad that we don't DTD enough, but with being pregnant for pretty much 2 years, I just don't have the energy and it hurts me that he doesn't understand why. Its not that I don't want to or that I'm not attracted to him, I just have a million other things on my mind or I am just so tired that I can't even think straight.

My FFFC: sex is not that big of deal to me. I do enjoy it but I just don't get in the mood that much. Maybe it will get better after we're done having babies and with all the crazy hormones.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

Don't get me wrong my SO is awesome and I love him, but sometimes he makes me 8-} He goes to work 6 days a week and sometimes 7 and runs a business with 25 employees. I'm lucky that I get to stay home and that I have a nanny that comes every day and a cleaning lady that comes every other week. It's just that sometimes I wish he WANTED to help out more.

Yesterday he came home and went to the living room to eat because he said he just wanted to eat in peace... um, hello? How do you think I ate? I ate with a lovely barnacle on my side which I didn't mind at all. It just annoys me when he says things like that because it's like he doesn't realize that, that's what I do every day. I don't remember the last time I ate in peace at home... almost a year ago?

It's like he thinks because he goes to work and I get to stay home that I'm responsible for everything. I used to be fine when it was like that and Haddy was a wee baby but now he's into everything and I don't have as much time on my hands as I used to. It's tough to make dinner with a baby and then it's tough to clean up dinner with a baby and then it's tough to pack his lunch with a baby. Shit, man, all I ask for is a little help.

Sorry, didn't mean to rant but I suppose this is the thread for that today @casey78

This 1950's wife has checked out

theuntaggablek · July 2014

Hugs to those struggling.

I really miss my DH when he's out of town. Part of why I was dreading A possibly being sick is that he is the one who gets him to take his meds. And bedtime is 100x easier with him doing some of it. Plus, he is fun to talk to, to laugh with, and builds me up and supports me through my struggles.

I do know what you guys mean about always feeling more responsible for little things - I am the one who has to do all the remembering of daycare payments, social obligations, meal planning, medical appointments, cleaning-outside of ordinary stuff, etc. And he doesn't get frustrated by a dining room table piled with stuff, living room littered with toys, sticky kitchen floor, or stack of dishes on the counter, all of which bug me to no end.

But I can't wait until he gets home.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

S/O of the poll.

I think spanking should be against the rules. If you spanked the cashier at Target for doing something wrong you'd get in trouble so what's the difference of spanking a child for doing something wrong? NO SPANKING

ETA: This is brought to you by the girl who is now leaving to go to the gym, I'll take my lashings when I get back

KKinATX · July 2014

Sorry to all the mamas not getting the help at home they deserve. I posted my light hearted FFFC without reading through everything else. Now I feel bad!

Also, @Erinm278 is back! I've been kind of MIA and didn't know!

Stacey099 · July 2014

On a lighter note,

When I feel as if I have to sneeze or when I'm very clogged up, I use a q-tip to tickle the inside of my nose. It sends my nose off and I have the sweet relief of a big sneeze!

coco2787 · July 2014

Audrey1787 said:
Re: spousal division of responsibilities, it's the same as @casey78 in my house. He takes great care of her when I'm not there but if I'm home then it is suddenly all my responsibility. Then there's the "WE should" shit that pisses me off more than anything else. "WE should just put our dishes in the dishwasher" "WE should clean the floors more often"
@haddocky you hit the nail on the head. If he just wanted to help more I would feel a lot better about it.
One last rant before my FFFC, I am tired of him acting like he can't do the same things I do. If I can cook dinner, or get ready for work, or clean the living room, or go to the store while caring for our daughter then he can to! I don't have fucking superpowers that make those things possible.

ok FFFC: I "graduated" from therapy yesterday and I've been looking for a reason to go back all morning. I can go back whenever I want but she said she doesn't think I need the regular appointments anymore because I'm dealing with issues in a healthy way and meeting my goals. It's my safety net though! She's right but I don't feel like I'm "fixed" yet. If you look for things to be wrong they will be so I need to just stop.

My husband is currently not speaking to me because he used the "we should" and I had the nerve to say "by 'we' you mean 'me' right?" and since I said this on the day he had his promotion interview I am a terrible, unsupportive wife and a huge bitch. I might add this was in regards to how I decorated one wall, and that "we" could do a better job. :-?? He's pretty much in a fight with himself since I'm still scratching my head over what exactly he's mad about.

sdtchica13 · July 2014

BetsyD2010 said:

My FFFC is DIY shows are grossly misrepresented and are largely for ratings. Not everyone can remodel their house. Not everyone should be operating a saw or attempting to do extensive remodeling or landscaping. This is such a disservice to my H's profession. Not every building contractor is out to scam someone. There's a reason why there are licensed professionals and I wish that shows and TV would quit portraying them as all crooked thieves.

I agree. While some things are easy enough to DIY, some shit should be left to the professionals. I am extremely handy, but there are definitely some instances where you should just "call the guy".

[Deleted User] · July 2014

I probably just ate a whole weeks worth of cream cheese. It was delicious :P

summerandmatt · July 2014

BetsyD2010 said:

haddocky said:

S/O of the poll.

I think spanking should be against the rules. If you spanked the cashier at Target for doing something wrong you'd get in trouble so what's the difference of spanking a child for doing something wrong? NO SPANKING

ETA: This is brought to you by the girl who is now leaving to go to the gym, I'll take my lashings when I get back

It's not my responsibility to raise an adult cashier into a well-adjusted, functioning person. I hope that you never have to spank Haddock and I hope that I never have to spank LO. But if the situation arises and Grace needs a spanking so will get one, always with a calm level head and always after she's been told why she's getting a spanking.

DS has gotten spankings. Every single one has been warranted and only administered after a. the verbal redirection stopped working or b. he put himself in danger.

___________________

This is all I'm going to say about spankings.

I agree. I used to be the "I'll never spank!" mom. I was judgy towards people who spanked without taking a second to understand their circumstances. Some kids require a different form of discipline, and while we don't spank often, we will do it when necessary for us. Like when we've tried everything under the sun to keep our DD1 from running into the street, and she does it anyway simply to be defiant (at four years old). The threat of getting run over by a car doesn't deter her, neither does removing a privilege, but the threat of a spanking will keep her away from the street.

[Deleted User] · July 2014

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[Deleted User] · July 2014

I don't do any DIY projects because I know I suck at stuff like that.

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