Would you let a (normal/clean) stranger hold your baby?

Thirdtimemomma · July 2014

I have 3 boys. We were at a kids play place indoors. When a grandma type lady asked to hold my baby. I let her but it felt odd. Baby boy was all smiles so I let her hold him for 30 mins.

edoliesmom · July 2014

If it was a true stranger, no, but but if it was like a friend of a friend/relative (whose judgment I trusted), then probably so. That's just a personal choice. I wouldn't judge if someone else chose to do so.

ambarnett1 · July 2014

I agree with PP. Someone who just walks up to me and asks to hold my DS then no. I went to a graduation party and my best friends relatives held DS. I didn't know them, but I trusted my friend not to hand ds over to a crazy person.

hordol · July 2014

If a person came up to me that I didn't know and just asked, I would make up some excuse. If I had been talking to said stranger for awhile and I got a decent vibe from them I might consider it.

ETA I was in the bathroom at a new church that my husband and I were trying out and the lady in there offered to hold DS for me while I went to the bathroom. I actually was just in there to use the mirror so I didn't have to, but if I did need to use the bathroom I totally would've let her hold him.

edoliesmom · July 2014

honeyzoo said:
Nope! But my grandma is super sweet and she totally does this too...

I remember being in the store with my grandma about 18 years ago or so, and there was a crying baby. She went up to the mom and said, "Give that baby to me!" Then proceeded to take the baby out of her arms before receiving permission and comforted the baby. Thankfully the mom took it well from what I remember. Though I was pretty young, I still remember thinking it was a very strange thing for her to do...

hlm184 · July 2014

Newp. I was at the BX a month or so ago, and some old lady was sorta offering to take DS while I waited in line for my food. Except I wasn't going to get food, I was just sitting there waiting for a prescription to be filled, so I was able to gracefully exit that situation.

nicole mackenzie · July 2014

I said no but I had to get a car rental yesterday and I handed LO to the sales rep so I could put the baby seat in the car.

She was clean, pretty , and my age.

I wouldn't have if she was gross...

nicole mackenzie · July 2014

I understand having a hard time saying no though. You're too polite. It's ok to say no without guilt!

momofmanyinthemitten · July 2014

I let a "stranger" at church hold DD2 last week. It's a small church and other people I knew were talking with the "stranger." I would have a hard time saying no to a sweet old lady who misses having babies around, but it is weird of her to ask in the first place.

Mamamonzo · July 2014

I don't even get how this is an option!? Never would I ever let someone I don't know hold my baby. Would you let a stranger hold your purse/wallet? Most likely no since it has your valuables. My baby is my most valuable possession so I wouldn't hand him off to a stranger. I couldn't care less whose feelings I hurt.

Mamamonzo · July 2014

Why would a stranger want to hold another strangers baby? I have never had the urge to ask a total stranger if I could hold their baby.

It's just weird people would hand over the most important thing in the world to someone whose name they don't know.

janice9821 · July 2014

It depends. If I'm standing right there supervising and I get an OK vibe from the person, probably yeah. If something doesn't feel right or if I won't be right there, no.

snmetz7 · July 2014

nope stranger danger

*sparky* · July 2014

This reminds me that when I had DS, my grandmother told me I better be careful because he was so cute someone would definitely want to kidnap him. And that they could change his outfit, put a wig on him and disappear with him before anyone even knew what happened.

But anyway to answer your question, in your situation I probably would not have been freaked out by her asking but I don't think I would have let her hold him either. If this was a play place I went to regularly and had chatted with her a couple of times I probably would.

Mamamonzo · July 2014

LalaMama81 said:
I guess I just don't care about my babies.

So standing in a store and a lady asks to hold your baby you just hand them over? That's weird. But do whatever you want I don't care what you do.

She asked a question clearly she's had conflicting thoughts about it or she wouldn't have cared to ask. I personally would never do it. I don't let strangers even touch my baby. That's me and how I choose to parent my child. End of story.

PoppySeedWindsor · July 2014

Sweet or not, I don't know where them old lady hands have been. The germophobe in me wins this one, hands down.

strawberrytree · July 2014

Team Creepy.

A friend of a friend, sure, if they seem normal. But randoms, no way.

MamaFantastic · July 2014

LalaMama81 said:
I guess I just don't care about my babies.

Bahahaha!

Yes and no. There are shades of gray here. A complete stranger in a wide open public place? Heck no. An unfamiliar person at church? Sure. A random person in the grocery store? No. Would it change if I was holding her in the store and kiddo made a huge mess that I needed 2 hands to clean up? Maybe.

hlm184 · July 2014

LolaDair said:

But why is it weird? Like, what's going to happen? Are you worried they will run? They will get some perverse enjoyment? They are riddled with disease? I don't care that you won't let people touch your baby, it doesn't affect me at all. I just want to know your thoughts on why its so bizarre.

Not a germ thing. I just think what if they DID run off? Like my situation, she wanted to hold DH while I walked across the BX and waited in line for 10 minutes, what if she was gone when I got back? Likely to happen? Nope. But still bothers me.

Mamamonzo · July 2014

LalaMama81 said:

LolaDair said:

But why is it weird? Like, what's going to happen? Are you worried they will run? They will get some perverse enjoyment? They are riddled with disease? I don't care that you won't let people touch your baby, it doesn't affect me at all. I just want to know your thoughts on why its so bizarre.

This is what I don't get.

Not to mention the whole "stranger danger," things is somewhat of a misnomer. Statistics show you need to be worried way more about those you DO know than those you DON'T.

Also, what constitutes a stranger?

Plain and simple I DON'T KNOW THEM. I don't understand why that is such a crazy concept.

sking72 · July 2014

LalaMama81 said:

So, another mom held DS during swim lessons the other day. I don't know her. But she's not a stranger, either. The cashier at trader joes, again I didn't know her but she wasn't a stranger.

so what is your definition of a stranger?

Jessimax · July 2014

I voted no but actually happened a few weeks ago. DS through a fit a wouldn't get out of the lake at the beach so another mom offered to hold DD while I waded in to retrieve him. So normally no, but could happen

Themaritimemama · July 2014

I'm right there with you, @mamamonzo. Being an active member of a church, a parent at my child's school or some rando at a grocery store all point to the same thing to me - a stranger. You are a person I do not know and if *anything* happened I would not be able to tell police anything other than a simple physical description. People steal babies and children all the time, and I won't risk letting my child be one of them. Recently in my area, a child pornography ring was taken down, and many were apprehended. These people were seemingly "normal" people.. your neighbour, your mailman.. your mechanic, and they were all involved in a horrific crime. My (extreme) point is that you don't know the person! Creepy people get old too, ya know. I'm curious if it's exclusive to women. If a middle aged man asked to hold your baby, would you be so willing?

tamaraaaa · July 2014

No. And no stranger will be tickling my baby either.

UnofficiallyLO · July 2014

Last week at dinner a complete stranger at the table next to us suggested she should hold my baby while we eat & I just laughed it off. This was after she leaned over & mentioned DS needed a blanket & a nap bc her grand kids go to bed by 7pm. Cover your trachea, ma'am.

Mustardseed2007 · July 2014

Can I just say, this entire thread is making me crack up. It's a good question and I totally understand both sides, but you guys are just being so funny with the way you phrase your responses. Thank you to everyone for giving me something funny to read

MissHSoonToBeMrsS · July 2014

nicole mackenzie said:

I said no but I had to get a car rental yesterday and I handed LO to the sales rep so I could put the baby seat in the car. She was clean, pretty , and my age. I wouldn't have if she was gross...

----------------------------------------------------------------- I voted no. And I'm actually kind of surprised that "clean" and "pretty" = "normal". I know some pretty creepy clean people.

Dahlia414 · July 2014

I have let friends of friends hold my baby a couple of times, but I felt uncomfortable about it. I also let a nurse hold my screaming baby while I was in the stirrups but that made me uncomfortable too.

MamaFantastic · July 2014

Someone needs to make a poll to suss out whether FTMs feel differently about this than STMs.

RocksInTheWater · July 2014

I voted no but now that I think about it, there are instances where I probably would be ok with it. I would stay in close proximity though.

SoulTermination · July 2014

There needs to be a "Fuck, no!" option, heh.

JBellacqua84 · July 2014

Nope. I don't want strangers touching my baby at all. I was at the pharmacy and an old lady asked if she could look at my baby. Sure I said.... and then she proceeded to reach in my stroller and touch the baby's hands and face..... WTF!! I said "I told you that you could look... not touch her." Germaphobe here.

JessieAlbin · July 2014

I'm in the weirded out camp. I guess I just don't get the crazy baby fever ridiculousness. I love holding MY baby and I would dig holding my friends' babies.. But it would never occur to me to ask to hold a woman's baby I have never met. Stop, look/smile at, and compliment what a little sweetie they have? Sure. But not ask to hold them just to hold a baby.

I also don't get the obsession with "baby smell." My baby stinks unless he's just been bathed. Baby shampoo smells great. Baby vomit, not so much. I put the women who go on and on about baby smell, ask to hold strangers' babies, and touch/talk at strangers' pregnant bellies all in the same weirdo category. STM+ who fit this category, you might be a lovely person, but I still think you're weird.

JessieAlbin · July 2014

It also just occurred to me that I am very much not into having my personal space violated. Unless I have invited you into my bubble, don't freaking touch me. My baby is part of my bubble, so to speak. As a very important extension of me, don't touch him either. I wonder if that's the case with a lot of the other girls disturbed by this?

BeckyF82 · July 2014

MissHSoonToBeMrsS said:

nicole mackenzie said:

I said no but I had to get a car rental yesterday and I handed LO to the sales rep so I could put the baby seat in the car.

She was clean, pretty , and my age.

I wouldn't have if she was gross...

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I voted no. And I'm actually kind of surprised that "clean" and "pretty" = "normal". I know some pretty creepy clean people.

-------------
Didn't you know? Much like a Disney movie, in real life evil people are all clearly marked out by being fat and ugly? And all pretty people are lovely.... Apparently.....

nicole mackenzie · July 2014

I haven't had anyone ask to hold her but a couple older ladies have timidly touched her hand or foot after saying hello to me and complimenting my cute baby. Usually just with a single finger. Like they know you're really not supposed to touch other people's babies.

edoliesmom · July 2014

BeckyF82 said:

MissHSoonToBeMrsS said:

nicole mackenzie said:

I said no but I had to get a car rental yesterday and I handed LO to the sales rep so I could put the baby seat in the car.

She was clean, pretty , and my age.

I wouldn't have if she was gross...

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I voted no. And I'm actually kind of surprised that "clean" and "pretty" = "normal". I know some pretty creepy clean people.

-------------
Didn't you know? Much like a Disney movie, in real life evil people are all clearly marked out by being fat and ugly? And all pretty people are lovely.... Apparently.....

False. Snow White's stepmother. Gaston. Ursula as Vanessa. Prince Hans.

nicole mackenzie · July 2014

MissHSoonToBeMrsS said:

nicole mackenzie said:

I said no but I had to get a car rental yesterday and I handed LO to the sales rep so I could put the baby seat in the car.

She was clean, pretty , and my age.

I wouldn't have if she was gross...

-----------------------------------------------------------------

I voted no. And I'm actually kind of surprised that "clean" and "pretty" = "normal". I know some pretty creepy clean people.

I can't help it I judged her on her appearance as well as the fact that she was helping me rent a car.

I wouldn't just let any pretty woman hold my baby. It was situational.

FFWC... I probably wouldn't have asked had she been ugly ( especially gross teeth !) or smelly.

MissHSoonToBeMrsS · July 2014

My dad is not a "clean" man. He showers daily, but he is just scruffy with a beard and whatnot. He is one of the sweetest people I know, and kids gravitate to him even though he isn't young, pretty, and "clean."

reillyea · July 2014

I also said no and agree with others about friend of a friend and such. If i were by myself and had no other options then I would prob have to consider it. I remember one time on an airplane there was a mom with three kids, one a new baby and I offered to hold the baby while she got them settled. She allowed me to and I think in that sort of situation I would have done the same.

MamaFantastic · July 2014

i love that this has morphed into a debate about visual vs actual cleanliness and attractiveness. and i'm amazed nobody has yet jumped on the Hispanic comment on page 2.

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