Proposed FB group ground rules

LTMama · July 2014

@AnyMax and I have begun discussing getting the ball rolling on a FB group. We think it makes the most sense to share what we've discussed so far, and open it up to you all for suggestions and feedback. We want everyone to feel comfortable that the group is inclusive, but also ensure that the privacy of our members is protected, since it's Facebook and real names, photos, etc will be visible.

Please give us our thoughts, particularly on the removable offenses. We want everyone to feel comfortable joining.

First off, this will be a secret group. So once it's set up, you'd have to PM one of the moderators to ask to be added, and FB friends will not be able to see that you're a member.

Requirements to join:
- Must have a minimum post count of 500 on TB, and also be active on S14. Any suggestions for an activity threshold? I don't know that there's a way to tally post count on a particular board. We just don't want randos.
- Must be an S14 mom.
- Individuals who have disparaged S14 on other forums are not eligible to join.
- What else?

Grounds for removal:
- Use of other members' personal information in any way that makes those members uncomfortable. This particularly includes copying and/or sharing anyone's photos, in particular photos of their children.
- Excessive provocation of drama. The moderators have the sole discretion to decide when situations fit this definition.
- Sharing on TB or any other public forum any discussions that are had within the group. The group will be private, so we ask that information shared within it be kept within it.
- Spamming. Any spamming will result the deletion of the spam thread and the removal of the member (unless your FB account was hacked or something).
- What else?

Ground rules:
- No discussions of politics or religion. The purpose of this group is for women to enjoy each other's company through a shared experience, not to be divisive.
- No unnecessary name-calling. At the same time, honesty and reality checks are respected and appreciated.
- No spam or advertising businesses, linking through referral threads, etc. This group is not about making money for anyone.
- What else?

*********edited to add****************

I'm seeing lots of great suggestions here. How about everyone love-tit the ideas they're in favor of, and in a day or two, we can post an updated version of the ground rules?

LTMama · July 2014

And these are just ideas, so please discuss!

mrsdanielleM2010 · July 2014

Like I said in the other thread, once you're in you should have to stay somewhat active in the group. I don't feel comfortable with people joining the group just to lurk.

LTMama · July 2014

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

Like I said in the other thread, once you're in you should have to stay somewhat active in the group. I don't feel comfortable with people joining the group just to lurk.

I like that a lot. Should we have a minimum post count? Or just generally be active enough that people know you, and kind of let it be more subjective?

LTMama · July 2014

zoeyy said:

Like I said in the other thread, once you're in you should have to stay somewhat active in the group. I don't feel comfortable with people joining the group just to lurk.
I've heard some groups will have admins check post counts every once in awhile and kick out those not posting.

What post count would people be comfortable with? A certain number weekly, monthly?

kmbk27 · July 2014

I am not sure what this would go under, and maybe it's included in the use of other's personal info, but if you friend request someone and they decline, that should probably be an indicator it's not something they are comfortable with. I guess what I'm saying is no pushing or consistent requests to access someone's page fully - even if it is coming from a good place. That kind of thing should probably be a discussion between the two individuals before a request was even sent.

trebekastan · July 2014

Can we say that for each member to be added, 2/3 of the admins must vote yes. There are always people that "technically" meet the requirements but that no one would feel comfortable with. Then they can just get an email back saying "sorry but you didn't recieve the required amount of votes."?

mrsdanielleM2010 · July 2014

trebekastan said:
Can we say that for each member to be added, 2/3 of the admins must vote yes. There are always people that "technically" meet the requirements but that no one would feel comfortable with. Then they can just get an email back saying "sorry but you didn't recieve the required amount of votes."?

I like this idea a lot. I think the third admin should be someone from the west coast for coverage purposes, and I nominate @zoeyy (already put this in the other thread but she's worth repeating)

LTMama · July 2014

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

Can we say that for each member to be added, 2/3 of the admins must vote yes. There are always people that "technically" meet the requirements but that no one would feel comfortable with. Then they can just get an email back saying "sorry but you didn't recieve the required amount of votes."?
I like this idea a lot. I think the third admin should be someone from the west coast for coverage purposes, and I nominate @zoeyy (already put this in the other thread but she's worth repeating)

That's a great idea! And having an odd number is a good idea.

rebennett06 · July 2014

The only thing I feel is high (and this could just be me) is the minimum post count on TB. Like I said, I'm only active on S14, and my post count is at 275...no chance I'm hitting 500, but I have been active since the beginning of this board, and I feel like we would lose some girls who are active on here, but don't post on every single thread.

conradraging · July 2014

rebennett06 said:
The only thing I feel is high (and this could just be me) is the minimum post count on TB. Like I said, I'm only active on S14, and my post count is at 275...no chance I'm hitting 500, but I have been active since the beginning of this board, and I feel like we would lose some girls who are active on here, but don't post on every single thread.

Yeah to be fair I only hit 500 posts like yesterday or the day before and shit, I talk so much you all are probably going to vote that I'm not welcome.

trebekastan · July 2014

The post count isn't high, it was going to be 500 months ago.

bumpuser10199668 · July 2014

Conradgallagher said:

The only thing I feel is high (and this could just be me) is the minimum post count on TB. Like I said, I'm only active on S14, and my post count is at 275...no chance I'm hitting 500, but I have been active since the beginning of this board, and I feel like we would lose some girls who are active on here, but don't post on every single thread.
Yeah to be fair I only hit 500 posts like yesterday or the day before and shit, I talk so much you all are probably going to vote that I'm not welcome.

If Conrad can't play, I'm not coming. But I'm pretty sure you can play.

I don't think 500 is too high. At all. If someone feels they are super active and deserve to join, I'd say PM one of the admins and let them vote like Trebek said. There can always be exceptions. But don't go boohooing if they vote no.

conradraging · July 2014

CarmAlarm said:

Conradgallagher said:

rebennett06 said:
The only thing I feel is high (and this could just be me) is the minimum post count on TB. Like I said, I'm only active on S14, and my post count is at 275...no chance I'm hitting 500, but I have been active since the beginning of this board, and I feel like we would lose some girls who are active on here, but don't post on every single thread.
Yeah to be fair I only hit 500 posts like yesterday or the day before and shit, I talk so much you all are probably going to vote that I'm not welcome.

If Conrad can't play, I'm not coming. But I'm pretty sure you can play.

I don't think 500 is too high. At all. If someone feels they are super active and deserve to join, I'd say PM one of the admins and let them vote like Trebek said. There can always be exceptions. But don't go boohooing if they vote no.

Okay yes that sounds more than fair.

bumpuser10199668 · July 2014

As for the rules.....

I think that the not being allowed if you've disparaged S14 on other boards is wonderful. That takes care of at least 4 people I can think of that I sure as shit don't want knowing my information.

Religion and politics....I get what you're saying. But I also think we're grown women. Shit happens in the world that we should be able to discuss. If something hurts someone's feelings, well welcome to life. I don't like reading about people's sexcapades or seeing idiots posting about vaccines either, but we can't just ban things that may be deemed 'sensitive'. Besides, debate is healthy.

Also, how will we go about wanting people out? What if one of the admins doesn't agree? Will it be a 2/3 vote, also?

Milo5181 · July 2014

FTR it's been hard to come over here the past few months but I was active i the beginning and I have almost 500 after four years on the Bump. It's cool if that's not enough for the FB group, but one consideration is that TB activity =/= FB activity. I personally find it much easier to post and connect on FB than I do here. I joined a FB group for January 2011 moms and it's still going strong almost four years later--though you would never think I was that much of a "joiner" from looking at my TB post count. It's not a criticism of any criteria y'all want to instate or asking to be a special snowflake, just more I wanted to get my opinion out there on the differences.

bumpuser10199668 · July 2014

@milo5181 I'm not one of the admins, so I can't guess what they will decide....But if I were, I would say...I have no fucking clue who you are and you've only posted on S14 like 25 times and most of them are HDBD. So no, you don't fit my criteria.

mrsdanielleM2010 · July 2014

Regarding post count and S14 board count in particular - I get that some people don't have as easy access to tb as they do to fb, but it seems to me the purpose of this group is to have a more private (in terms of audience) place for discussion and sharing. To me that makes it important that people be active on this board before joining the fb group. I know that that excludes people, but that's how I understand the group.

There are approximately a gajillion general September mom Facebook groups already out there for people who don't meet the requirements that would make regulars comfortable sharing with them more personally. Also there's nothing stopping anyone from starting an alternate S14 bump fb group that is welcoming to people without these rules. The group being discussed is in no way the one "official" fb group for S14 moms.

tatorhead328 · July 2014

I gotta get to posting! Don't be alarmed if you see 400 posts from me in the next few days.

Just kidding, I got started pretty late. I do wish I had "met" you ladies sooner! I had no idea how much fun it was in here.

bumpuser10199668 · July 2014

@tatorhead328 If it helps, you specifically came to mind when talking exceptions. I don't think that likable people who joined late should be left out. But if you're unrecognizable and unlikable, then I hope the admins would agree with that and say no way.

mrsdanielleM2010 · July 2014

tatorhead328 said:
I gotta get to posting! Don't be alarmed if you see 400 posts from me in the next few days.

Just kidding, I got started pretty late. I do wish I had "met" you ladies sooner! I had no idea how much fun it was in here.

I suspect that if you requested entry, people would vote yes. You showed up late, but participate plenty and haven't been a weirdo. Like @CarmAlarm‌ said earlier, there are always exceptions.

bumpuser10199668 · July 2014

@gingergiraffe Girl, we know you. You've had a terribly rough time, and knowing what I know about the admins selected, I don't think ANYONE would deny you entry just for you having to take a bump break for awhile.

mrsdanielleM2010 · July 2014

CarmAlarm said:
@gingergiraffe Girl, we know you. You've had a terribly rough time, and knowing what I know about the admins selected, I don't think ANYONE would deny you entry just for you having to take a bump break for awhile.

Agree. All the yessss for @GingerGiraffe‌

AnyMax · July 2014

GingerGiraffe said:
I have a question. Can people join at a later time? I wouldn't want to request to join now, because I've been gone for months. I have the post count because I was pretty active for the first 5 months or so, but not recently. Will joining this group be closed at a certain date? I really don't know how any of that works.

I would assume it is agreeable that there is a huge difference between being a very active member having to step away because life is happening and being an inactive lurkey-loo.

mrsdanielleM2010 · July 2014

AnyMax said:

GingerGiraffe said:
I have a question. Can people join at a later time? I wouldn't want to request to join now, because I've been gone for months. I have the post count because I was pretty active for the first 5 months or so, but not recently. Will joining this group be closed at a certain date? I really don't know how any of that works.
I would assume it is agreeable that there is a huge difference between being a very active member having to step away because life is happening and being an inactive lurkey-loo.

This is why I trust @anymax with decisions.

Milo5181 · July 2014

@CarmAlarm that was my point exactly. I've been on since this board was created, I've been on the bump for four years, but you wouldn't know it from my post count, so I wouldn't qualify. The point I was trying to make was that the post count is NOT indicative of how my participation in a FB group would be, since i prefer mobile and the FB format, and I also prefer knowing people's names and pictures and getting to know them better. I've been active in another FB mom's group for almost four years, that started on TB, I've flown across the country several times to see them in person. I'm not a lurker and I'm very active on FB, just not here. That's all I was trying to say.

mrsdanielleM2010 · July 2014

steelersgirl83 said:
I would love to join everyone in a FB group, but like others have mentioned, the post count is too high for me. Even as someone who participates in here on a daily basis, and since early on in 1st tri. I read other boards, such as the trimester ones, but just never have any desire to post on them. I like our S14 board, so I tend just to stay here with my posts. Just too much drama for me outside of S14 I guess lol. I do like the other ground rules that have been set up however. So I guess what I'm getting at is maybe for those of us who are active posters to S14 on a regular basis, and who are known by the admins of this FB group, maybe the post count requirement could be waived (within reason)?

I don't know your post count, but you certainly qualify as a reg IMO - I think post count can be flexible in admin discretion if the person is a pretty regular MEMBER OF OUR COMMUNITY.

conradraging · July 2014

Milo5181 said:
@CarmAlarm that was my point exactly. I've been on since this board was created, I've been on the bump for four years, but you wouldn't know it from my post count, so I wouldn't qualify. The point I was trying to make was that the post count is NOT indicative of how my participation in a FB group would be, since i prefer mobile and the FB format, and I also prefer knowing people's names and pictures and getting to know them better. I've been active in another FB mom's group for almost four years, that started on TB, I've flown across the country several times to see them in person. I'm not a lurker and I'm very active on FB, just not here. That's all I was trying to say.

I think carm gets what you're trying to say but the point of the FB group is a more exclusive forum with people we know and are comfortable with based on activity here. While I'm not suggesting you were never active or won't be on Facebook, I am suggesting that, as carm said, I don't know who you are and if bet many other active s14ers don't either. And that's why you wouldn't fit the criteria.

I think the 3 mods will be able to make reasonable decisions based on everyone's post history, etc. the 500 post limit maybe not being so hard and fast as how much they feel like they know people. The 2/3 rule sounds perfect to me.

mrsdanielleM2010 · July 2014

Milo5181 said:
@CarmAlarm that was my point exactly. I've been on since this board was created, I've been on the bump for four years, but you wouldn't know it from my post count, so I wouldn't qualify. The point I was trying to make was that the post count is NOT indicative of how my participation in a FB group would be, since i prefer mobile and the FB format, and I also prefer knowing people's names and pictures and getting to know them better. I've been active in another FB mom's group for almost four years, that started on TB, I've flown across the country several times to see them in person. I'm not a lurker and I'm very active on FB, just not here. That's all I was trying to say.

I think it's fair to guess that @carmalarm understood your point. Like I said above, there would be nothing stopping you from joining a S14 moms group if you did not meet the requirements or get an exception to this one.

ETA yes, on this board, you're pretty much a lurker.

JustCricket · July 2014

Milo5181 said:

@CarmAlarm that was my point exactly. I've been on since this board was created, I've been on the bump for four years, but you wouldn't know it from my post count, so I wouldn't qualify. The point I was trying to make was that the post count is NOT indicative of how my participation in a FB group would be, since i prefer mobile and the FB format, and I also prefer knowing people's names and pictures and getting to know them better. I've been active in another FB mom's group for almost four years, that started on TB, I've flown across the country several times to see them in person. I'm not a lurker and I'm very active on FB, just not here. That's all I was trying to say.

I think the point is that THIS group that is being created is not for those who just want to participate on fb... the whole point of waiting was for people to get to know eachother HERE and to participate here and THIS group is for those who have gotten to know eachother here to have another more private avenue to talk on. As @mrsdaniellem2010 pointed out, there can be another group that has NO limitations for those who want to go that avenue

eta-- and in fact I know there are other FB groups that were created earlier on that had no limitations... that's what the point of THOSE were.

mrsdanielleM2010 · July 2014

kshayes0315 said:
I like to think I am a pretty active poster on S14 just not on other boards but I do have one question. How do I check my post count? Can I even do it from mobile or do I need to get off my lazy butt and grab my computer?

Post count is on the computer, but from mobile I see that you have 1.2 thousand lovetits. I bet you're fine.

gingerkid9989 · July 2014

I think all of these ideas are great! Can't wait to see if I get in!

Milo5181 · July 2014

I won't be part of it, and that's ok. i understand that I am a "lurker" for you and that it's too late now for me to join this community but you're missing out. I am pretty great.

JustCricket · July 2014

Milo5181 said:

I won't be part of it, and that's ok. i understand that I am a "lurker" for you and that it's too late now for me to join this community but you're missing out. I am pretty great.

it's never too late to start participating! There are plenty of threads and places to do that here!

mrsdanielleM2010 · July 2014

Milo5181 said:
I won't be part of it, and that's ok. i understand that I am a "lurker" for you and that it's too late now for me to join this community but you're missing out. I am pretty great.

You're not too late to participate in THIS community. It's a public forum, and we always welcome new people.

nienot · July 2014

MrsG914 said:

The only thing I feel is high (and this could just be me) is the minimum post count on TB. Like I said, I'm only active on S14, and my post count is at 275...no chance I'm hitting 500, but I have been active since the beginning of this board, and I feel like we would lose some girls who are active on here, but don't post on every single thread.
I think 500 is a little high... But I only joined for this board and I've been fairly active. I have no idea what my post count is... I only mobile bump.

Yeah...I'm out based on post count, but I have not yet ventured outside of S14, and as a FTM, I am clueless on most everything...meaning my contributions are slim

JustCricket · July 2014

Do people read!!!!!???? Once again, post counts are a guideline. If you recently joined or only participate on this board and you don't make the count, there ARE exceptions! Granted not everyone will be allowed these, but I can think of a few off the top of my head that have lower post counts but are active and when they contribute they contribute good shit.

HorseLover11 · July 2014

Is this group private meaning if I post in it than my friends won't see it right?

Marchie1214 · July 2014

I would love to join the Fb group. To me it is so much easier to post and follow up on post with Fb then the bump. I also feel safer in a private group that someone needs to be accepted into to read rather then a public form. Anyone can see what's discussed on our posts here which makes me not as active as I would like to be. Fb seems to give me a false feeling of security. I'm a little bummed about the post count. Makes me wish I didn't make a new bump profile this pregnancy since my old one had personal information in it.
I was a March 2012 mom and still talk to my BMB via our Fb group daily.

anewadventure · July 2014

500! womp womp... guess i lurk too much

that's ok gals, i totally get that it needs to be pretty exclusive, otherwise it can get creepy fast.

mrsdanielleM2010 · July 2014

I find it hilarious that there are so many people who can figure out how to post on tb when it makes a difference to whether or not they get into a fb group. It obviously isn't impossible.

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