Proposed FB group ground rules

trebekastan

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyFvGL3Z5F8

portentosa

trebekastan said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyFvGL3Z5F8

Now I want a sandwhich.

LTMama

Thanks so much for all the input, everyone! The mods will finalize the rules soon and post them. Once the group is created we'll let you all know how to ask to be added.

We have a pretty kick-ass group of ladies here, I'm excited to get this going!

brittneyandadam

tromboner said:

trebekastan said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyFvGL3Z5F8

Now I want a sandwhich.

Guess what I had for dinner :-P

mrsdanielleM2010

natsan08 said:

MrsLaLaBug said:

natsan08 said:

I think saying we can't talk about things is too 1984 for me.  If we start banning topics with politics and religion, it can just turn into a circle jerk.  Over the 5 years that I've been on August 2010 it went from being ONLY ABOUT BABIES to being about everything under the sun and we sometimes go back and talk about our kids. 

This also came to mind - so in Aug2010 we had this lady who was nuts about not vaxxing, and it turned into this gigantic colossal argument and people were eternally butt hurt from it.  I think that we need to have rules in place for what type of disciplinary action is taken when members go out of line from the jump.  I don't think people should have to "Like" the rules (like, c'mon, that's just meaningless) but it should be a document that's visible at all times so there is transparency as to what is an automatic rejection.  You make dead baby jokes?  Out.  You post NSFL pictures to get your points across?  Out.  You ... idk ... stalk a member and try to wear her as a suit.  OUT.

I think the more we can eliminate any perceived instances of favoritism, the better the
group will be.

Sorry, but I find your choice of words here highly inappropriate. Maybe it's just me.

My intent was to convey very specific types of posts and to do so with humor. Sorry my word choice didn't meet your standards. *shrug*

If people need to be told that "dead baby jokes" are grounds for removal from a fb group of women who have in common the birth month of their child...

Shrugging off Lala... Now I've seen everything.

trebekastan

brittneyandadam said:

tromboner said:

trebekastan said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyFvGL3Z5F8

Now I want a sandwhich.

Guess what I had for dinner :-P

Did you guys use frilly tooth picks? Because if not...YOU'RE NOT IN THE FUCKING CLUB!

brittneyandadam

trebekastan said:

brittneyandadam said:

tromboner said:

trebekastan said:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyFvGL3Z5F8

Now I want a sandwhich.

Guess what I had for dinner :-P

Did you guys use frilly tooth picks? Because if not...YOU'RE NOT IN THE FUCKING CLUB!

Nope! What I really want to find for my sandwiches are those little sword shaped toothpicks though.

brittneyandadam

tigger99 said:

I am way late to the party because I can't really get on here from work right now and then had to build the crib because my husband is a total slacker and I wanted it done.

I think everyone had great ideas.
I am scared to death about creepy stalkers taking my real info and doing lord knows what with it. But since it is a rule I would apply with my REAL FB account and not my alternate account that I have used in the past to make sure there is no stranger danger....

I hope I qualify!
also FB is not blocked at work so I would play more since they took away our WIFI so I can't do a lot from my phone right now.

I totally vouch for this fantastic 3T mama :-)

portentosa

Psh, I know @tigger99 No need for vouching. B-)

MrsLaLaBug

natsan08 said:

If people need to be told that "dead baby jokes" are grounds for removal from a fb group of women who have in common the birth month of their child...

Shrugging off Lala... Now I've seen everything.

----

I've actually seen that happen and it was awful and disgusting.

Also really? Idiot?
=D>

I think it's been made VERY clear on this board how that topic is approached... Just saying. A little tact goes a long way.

mrsdanielleM2010

natsan08 said:

If people need to be told that "dead baby jokes" are grounds for removal from a fb group of women who have in common the birth month of their child...

Shrugging off Lala... Now I've seen everything.

----

I've actually seen that happen and it was awful and disgusting.

Also really? Idiot?
=D>

Awww your clapping matches Sylvester!

mrsdanielleM2010

natsan08 said:

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

natsan08 said:

If people need to be told that "dead baby jokes" are grounds for removal from a fb group of women who have in common the birth month of their child...

Shrugging off Lala... Now I've seen everything.

----

I've actually seen that happen and it was awful and disgusting.

Also really? Idiot?
=D>

Awww your clapping matches Sylvester!

Did I spit in your beer or something?

Beer would probably make this better. I'll try anyway... Although I agreed with your point about people being tasteless and getting kicked out of the groups, I thought you made your point in an unnecessarily crude way, but held my tongue. When someone did point it out, you shrugged her off in a super dismissive and rude manner. In short, you hurt my friend's feelings and didn't give two craps when she told you so.

MrsLaLaBug

natsan08 said:

MrsLaLaBug said:

natsan08 said:

If people need to be told that "dead baby jokes" are grounds for removal from a fb group of women who have in common the birth month of their child...

Shrugging off Lala... Now I've seen everything.

----

I've actually seen that happen and it was awful and disgusting.

Also really? Idiot?
=D>

I think it's been made VERY clear on this board how that topic is approached... Just saying. A little tact goes a long way.

Like I said before, I was trying to convey specific types of posts. Rustling jimmies wasn't the point.

No one said it was your point. Just could have been more considerate. And FYI - it's not "my" standards... Try like a couple hundred people on this board that could have been offended by it. Don't hate because I am the only one who spoke up.

mrsdanielleM2010

natsan08 said:

But you can go ahead and think I'm some kind of jerk. Whatever.

K

formerwigirl

Wow! I think everything has already been said and I agree with most of it. So I am going to go with the "if you'll have me great, if not I can understand." I unfortunately can't check the bump from work and if I do get a moment to check it on my tablet, I write really short comments because it takes forever to type anything on there. I try to get on here everyday to check both this board and PAIF, but lately exhaustion has set in so I am not as active as I'd like to be. Hopefully you will have me.

conradraging

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

natsan08 said:

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

natsan08 said:

If people need to be told that "dead baby jokes" are grounds for removal from a fb group of women who have in common the birth month of their child...

Shrugging off Lala... Now I've seen everything.

----

I've actually seen that happen and it was awful and disgusting.

Also really? Idiot?
=D>

Awww your clapping matches Sylvester!

Did I spit in your beer or something?

Beer would probably make this better. I'll try anyway... Although I agreed with your point about people being tasteless and getting kicked out of the groups, I thought you made your point in an unnecessarily crude way, but held my tongue. When someone did point it out, you shrugged her off in a super dismissive and rude manner. In short, you hurt my friend's feelings and didn't give two craps when she told you so.

This exactly. I'm incredibly shocked by the way you brushed off LaLa, especially since this is a post regarding an exclusive group of people of which we would all be comfortable sharing personal stuff with. I've taken a stand against a lot of bullshit posts recently so I didn't get on my soap box for yours, but that doesn't mean I found it appropriate. It was crass and unnecessary and maybe you find such things to be funny, but not everyone does.

And also nobody talks to LaLa like that. Just no. Hell no, even.

MrsLaLaBug

natsan08 said:

Conradgallagher said:

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

natsan08 said:

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

natsan08 said:

If people need to be told that "dead baby jokes" are grounds for removal from a fb group of women who have in common the birth month of their child...

Shrugging off Lala... Now I've seen everything.

----

I've actually seen that happen and it was awful and disgusting.

Also really? Idiot?
=D>

Awww your clapping matches Sylvester!

Did I spit in your beer or something?

Beer would probably make this better. I'll try anyway... Although I agreed with your point about people being tasteless and getting kicked out of the groups, I thought you made your point in an unnecessarily crude way, but held my tongue. When someone did point it out, you shrugged her off in a super dismissive and rude manner. In short, you hurt my friend's feelings and didn't give two craps when she told you so.

This exactly. I'm incredibly shocked by the way you brushed off LaLa, especially since this is a post regarding an exclusive group of people of which we would all be comfortable sharing personal stuff with. I've taken a stand against a lot of bullshit posts recently so I didn't get on my soap box for yours, but that doesn't mean I found it appropriate. It was crass and unnecessary and maybe you find such things to be funny, but not everyone does.

And also nobody talks to LaLa like that. Just no. Hell no, even.

I don't tend to censor my writing outside of work and honestly I didn't write my post up with the intention of being super tactless or causing a great reaction. It was something that took a few minutes to put together and I really didn't imagine this kind of cluster.

Sorry for the word choice on the original post but to imply that I a) did it on purpose with this malicious intent somehow and b) am not "allowed" to disagree or "brush off" a more regular poster is more than a bit ridiculous. It's not like I said the Lala was (insert derogatory statement here). I didn't name call. I simply said that I was sorry my word choice didn't meet her standards.

At this point I'm not quite sure why I'm posting this since you're likely only going to think I'm just a jerkily jerk jerk but I guess I just wanted to feel like I had a chance to defend myself without any snarky commentary from my end.

TL;DR My intentions weren't to be a jerk, and of all the possible ways I could've disagreed with someone, I thought I picked the least inflammatory. C'est la vie.

Again... You are failing to realize.. It's not "MY" standards here. There are over 500 members on this board and I'd venture to say that quite a good number of those would not find your explanation "lighthearted" in any way.

mrsdanielleM2010

natsan08 said:

MrsLaLaBug said:

natsan08 said:

Conradgallagher said:

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

natsan08 said:

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

natsan08 said:

If people need to be told that "dead baby jokes" are grounds for removal from a fb group of women who have in common the birth month of their child...

Shrugging off Lala... Now I've seen everything.

----

I've actually seen that happen and it was awful and disgusting.

Also really? Idiot?
=D>

Awww your clapping matches Sylvester!

Did I spit in your beer or something?

Beer would probably make this better. I'll try anyway... Although I agreed with your point about people being tasteless and getting kicked out of the groups, I thought you made your point in an unnecessarily crude way, but held my tongue. When someone did point it out, you shrugged her off in a super dismissive and rude manner. In short, you hurt my friend's feelings and didn't give two craps when she told you so.

This exactly. I'm incredibly shocked by the way you brushed off LaLa, especially since this is a post regarding an exclusive group of people of which we would all be comfortable sharing personal stuff with. I've taken a stand against a lot of bullshit posts recently so I didn't get on my soap box for yours, but that doesn't mean I found it appropriate. It was crass and unnecessary and maybe you find such things to be funny, but not everyone does.

And also nobody talks to LaLa like that. Just no. Hell no, even.

I don't tend to censor my writing outside of work and honestly I didn't write my post up with the intention of being super tactless or causing a great reaction. It was something that took a few minutes to put together and I really didn't imagine this kind of cluster.

Sorry for the word choice on the original post but to imply that I a) did it on purpose with this malicious intent somehow and b) am not "allowed" to disagree or "brush off" a more regular poster is more than a bit ridiculous. It's not like I said the Lala was (insert derogatory statement here). I didn't name call. I simply said that I was sorry my word choice didn't meet her standards.

At this point I'm not quite sure why I'm posting this since you're likely only going to think I'm just a jerkily jerk jerk but I guess I just wanted to feel like I had a chance to defend myself without any snarky commentary from my end.

TL;DR My intentions weren't to be a jerk, and of all the possible ways I could've disagreed with someone, I thought I picked the least inflammatory. C'est la vie.

Again... You are failing to realize.. It's not "MY" standards here. There are over 500 members on this board and I'd venture to say that quite a good number of those would not find your explanation "lighthearted" in any way.

I was referring to two separate things 1) the actual post itself
2) the comments saying I'm not "allowed" to speak to you in a certain way.

As to point 1) that's what I said I didn't think of it in the same way that you and others do. My intention wasn't to be crass or unnecessarily tactless. You being the royal You not the Lala You.

The second point is the one that is specific to you Lala you.

Like I said earlier, I wasn't going to say anything about your first point.

Also you are certainly allowed to speak to whomever you'd like in whatever manner you so choose. And I'm allowed to say I don't like it. And you're allowed to disagree. So I don't understand why this is still being discussed.

MrsLaLaBug

Wait hold up. If I'm so royal, I shall be needing a tiara. Stat. Fetch the royal robes, peasants!

mrsdanielleM2010

natsan08 said:

You're right. No clue. I'm just trying to explain my positioning and you guys aren't trying to hear it.

No, I totally hear it! I do, swearsies. I just don't agree. That happens sometimes and it is not a huge deal.

punnybunny

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

beccalou12 said:

@mrsdanielleM2010‌ my only concern with that idea is that now randos are going to start love titting all the things because that's easy. So the 2/3 admin rule should still override the post/tit count. But perhaps that's a better *guideline* to help the admins?

Oh no! The love tit number is how many times people have loved you! It's a good sign of how well your posts are received in general.

Ah, apparently I'm still a newb. Forgive me. :-)

ETA- I'm traveling and it's hard to bump from an airplane so my response was quite delayed. Also, I may go kinda quiet the next couple weeks because of this trip.

GabbyCat13

LTMama said:

mrsdanielleM2010 said:

Like I said in the other thread, once you're in you should have to stay somewhat active in the group. I don't feel comfortable with people joining the group just to lurk.

I like that a lot.  Should we have a minimum post count?  Or just generally be active enough that people know you, and kind of let it be more subjective?

I was curious of this too... mostly because I have been here since the very beginning. I'm on almost every day and am somewhat active. I comment but I am more shy about posting and such so I didn't know how I would fit into this but I would like to be a part of it

megs2011

Finally got through all of the pages. I try to get on here when I can but sometimes it's hard with my twins. Ground rules seem great to keep our privacy secure. That's the one thing about fb is that it's a lot of personal info. I'm part of my bmb fb group from my last pregnancy and we are still going strong after 2 years now. I'm hoping this group will be great too. I'm sure it will with all the awesome ladies here. We have a good group.

Eta forgot a word

LexiT88

I must really be a noob because I don't even know where to find my post count!  I have only been active on this board, but I must say all of you ladies are a trip and I look forward to continuing to participate on here even if I don't qualify for the FB group! 

portentosa

LexiT88 said:

I must really be a noob because I don't even know where to find my post count!  I have only been active on this board, but I must say all of you ladies are a trip and I look forward to continuing to participate on here even if I don't qualify for the FB group! 

@LexiT88‌ You have to be on your computer to see it. Click on your name and below your avatar you'll see how many discussions you have and how many replies you have. That's what we're looking at.



I completely plan on staying active here on the board too. I am pretty sure must of us regs are. We clearly find it easy to post often in between FB discussions.... unlike several others in this thread.

LifeofCat

zoeyy said:

I'm just going to throw out there that everyone should use their real FB account. No making an AE FB account with your bump name. That way everyone is on an even playing field.

I created an alternate account following the loss of my daughter last summer; I still needed to use FB for work (ie managing my library's page) but wasn't interested in the rest. I added all of my close friends and do post some things but that's it.

Is this ok? I might re-activate my former account down the road, but not right now.

All this to say that I'm interested!

AnyMax

LifeofCat said:

zoeyy said:

I'm just going to throw out there that everyone should use their real FB account. No making an AE FB account with your bump name. That way everyone is on an even playing field.

I created an alternate account following the loss of my daughter last summer; I still needed to use FB for work (ie managing my library's page) but wasn't interested in the rest. I added all of my close friends and do post some things but that's it.

Is this ok? I might re-activate my former account down the road, but not right now.

All this to say that I'm interested!

--------

I do not see your situation as being the same as what @zoeyy‌ is meaning by an alternate account. Your "alternate" is very much the account you actually use.

And Cat, no one here would ever want you to feel pressured into doing something that you are not comfortable with or ready for.

LifeofCat

AnyMax said:

I'm just going to throw out there that everyone should use their real FB account. No making an AE FB account with your bump name. That way everyone is on an even playing field.

I created an alternate account following the loss of my daughter last summer; I still needed to use FB for work (ie managing my library's page) but wasn't interested in the rest. I added all of my close friends and do post some things but that's it. Is this ok? I might re-activate my former account down the road, but not right now. All this to say that I'm interested!

-------- I do not see your situation as being the same as what @zoeyy‌ is meaning by an alternate account. Your "alternate" is very much the account you actually use. And Cat, no one here would ever want you to feel pressured into doing something that you are not comfortable with or ready for.

That's what I figured; you're all awesome and reasonable human beings, I just wanted to clarify my situation so it didn't seem like: ...on a related note, the amount of people upset at DH for not making a FB announcement/posting my belly pics is pretty unreal :-S

rebennett06

sparklegrump said:

I'm making my own FB group that's so exclusive, I'm the only one in it.

Can I join???

conradraging

trebekastan

MrsBadKat said:

Can I get an application?

Sorry. Full up. ;;)

trebekastan

HilarityEnsued said:

was there some sort of high school pregnancy pact a few months ago to get pregnant with babies due in September 2014? Are you guys trying to get out of having to go back to high school in September?

I'm sorry your little buddy, whomever that may be, isn't welcome because of shit like this. You can think that's high school, I like to think of it as being smart and not wanting a whinny bitch allowed access to my personal info.

conradraging

HilarityEnsued said:

lol that's amazing. Who is my little buddy? Are you talking about my kid? My period? LMK.

you can go now.

JustCricket

sorry we don't wanna see randos in THIS group. As sttaed before... other people can start their own damn FB group for S14. There already are like 10 of them. This one just doesn't want randos.. and this one doesn't give a shit what the parenting police says about it, especially when they don't even see their own damn hypocrisy.

MrsLaLaBug

ohhhh look... someone put up the batsignal... how original.

Monkeybabe

I'm still laughing at "shrugging off Lala". That poster needs to learn to act right around here.

conradraging

But coming here to comment on it when you "don't care" is not immature, bitchy and incredibly stupid. Thank god you showed up to show us how to act.

Monkeybabe

HE, they're rubber, you're glue.

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

bumpuser10199668

Oh dear lord, I want to stay out of it but.it.is.so.hard. Let's get real. We are totally being exclusive. We definitely don't want people we don't like in the FB group. Sorry? I didn't realize it was a requirement to let anyone and everyone in seeing as how Facebook is in no way affiliated with The Bump. You want to get down to details about why we give a shit about disparaging s14 on other boards? Is it cuz it hurts our feelings? No. It is because that's the nicest way we could think of to exclude people who are FUCKING NUTS as proven by previous chats. Yes, that means specifically one of the people mentioned on parenting. She knows. That's why she's stayed out of this despite being called on multiple times. She's a liar and a creep, and no one that knows what went down wants to share their information with her.