Well, now he's outside taking out his anger on the weeds in our garden. Weeding was my plan for tomorrow, but more power to him. His dad called earlier (still doesn't know) and FI had to act like nothing was wrong.
FI is dreading his family finding out he reported his dad. His family is very much the rug-sweeping kind, and he's not sure how his sister will react b/c they've only recently begun to repair their own relationship. FI's sister believes her dad can do no wrong, and her 7yr old dd has been in his solo care for the last month. FI is planning to tell her, but wants to wait until tomorrow night (she gets her dd back today) and have me help him draft an email to her.
I am going to have to tell my ex-husband about this mess, too, but I am going to wait until after the sheriff comes down tomorrow. Why? Because my kids have spent time alone with this man and even spent the night over there. I would absolutely expect my exH to tell me if he found out something like this. I don't like it, but the 3 of us (FI included) decided ages ago that potentially dangerous situations, like this, must be shared, so that we could together make an informed decision about the kids.
This sucks big hairy ones.
I know it is late. But I could not sleep due to this playing over and over in my head. Is your niece staying with FIL tonight? As in right now? Or did SIL go and pick up her daughter today (Sunday, 13th) and is safe at home with SIL now?
If niece is staying with him right now, please call her mother and let her know ASAP what is going on. Please please do not wait.
She was safe with her mom by night time. That's why FIL was/is out of town, taking niece back to her mom.
Wow, I am so sorry that you are going through this. I hope that your FI's family doesn't treat him badly for reporting him but regardless of how they react, he should know that he did the right thing and I commend him for acting so swiftly.
Wow so I read your title and didn't think any of the above is what I was going to find. So sorry about your situation. I hope to God that nothing happened with any of your kids. What a horrible thing for your FI to find and then have to turn in his own father. Seriously brave of him. Thinking about you and your family! Just a horrible situation to be put in.
WOW!! What a terrible, terrible situation for you and you DF. I want to say that I think the way both you and DF are handling the situation is amazing! You having to tell your exH cannot possibly be an easy thing to do, but I whole heartedly agree it is the right thing to do! Honesty is always the best policy and being upfront doesn't make it easier right away, but it could mean TONS in the long run!!
I think supporting your DF the way you are also deserves commending! So many times women want to "talk things out" to a point of beating a dead horse, and although you have many what if's I'm sure you DF is thinking the exact same things! Men (as it seems you know) just need time to process things like this on their own, and will talk when they are ready.
I sure hope that the Sherrif will do some investigating and everything turns out Okay for your little ones! In my experience (I worked at a "treatment facility" for juvenile sex offenders for 3 years) not EVERYONE who looks at that stuff has done that stuff. BUT it is VERY alarming!! Whatever happens I hope you, DF, and exH can all work together to do what is best for the family as a whole, and work out a plan to deal with the situation so that everyone is comfortable.
I don't know if you want to, if you would be comfortable, or if things are just too much right now, but sex offenders generally follow a "typical" grooming process in preparing "victims". IF you felt comfortable, PM me and I can give you some questions you could ask your LO's or prompts, that may get them talking - they are non-invasive types of questions, so if nothing ever happened they would never know what you were digging for (as they still look pretty young). If that is too much, then that is perfectly okay too!! No pressure!!
Sorry to hear this. Made me sick just reading it, so I can't imagine what you and FI are going thought mentally and emotionally. He made the right call including law enforcement. Prayers that you and your family gets through this and can focus on your soon to arrive SO.
Re: I don't even know what to title this. **child porn mentioned**
She was safe with her mom by night time. That's why FIL was/is out of town, taking niece back to her mom.
Piper Jo: October 14'
Me: 34 DH: 34
TTC since Jan '13
BFP#1 - EDD 3/24/14 - d&c 7w5d
BFP#2 - EDD 6/14/14 - cp 4w2d
BFP#3 - EDD 10/28/14 - It's a BOY!!! - Born 10/26/14
WOW!! What a terrible, terrible situation for you and you DF. I want to say that I think the way both you and DF are handling the situation is amazing! You having to tell your exH cannot possibly be an easy thing to do, but I whole heartedly agree it is the right thing to do! Honesty is always the best policy and being upfront doesn't make it easier right away, but it could mean TONS in the long run!!
I think supporting your DF the way you are also deserves commending! So many times women want to "talk things out" to a point of beating a dead horse, and although you have many what if's I'm sure you DF is thinking the exact same things! Men (as it seems you know) just need time to process things like this on their own, and will talk when they are ready.
I sure hope that the Sherrif will do some investigating and everything turns out Okay for your little ones! In my experience (I worked at a "treatment facility" for juvenile sex offenders for 3 years) not EVERYONE who looks at that stuff has done that stuff. BUT it is VERY alarming!! Whatever happens I hope you, DF, and exH can all work together to do what is best for the family as a whole, and work out a plan to deal with the situation so that everyone is comfortable.
I don't know if you want to, if you would be comfortable, or if things are just too much right now, but sex offenders generally follow a "typical" grooming process in preparing "victims". IF you felt comfortable, PM me and I can give you some questions you could ask your LO's or prompts, that may get them talking - they are non-invasive types of questions, so if nothing ever happened they would never know what you were digging for (as they still look pretty young). If that is too much, then that is perfectly okay too!! No pressure!!
Many T & P's headed your way!!!
DD born 10/3/14
DD born 10/10/16
Twin boys due Nov '19
Your FI did the right thing.