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December 2014 Moms
irishtriplets
member
Probably an UO (sex disappointment)
irishtriplets
member
Right now we are Team Green. I'm struggling because I'm excited about waiting but terrified it's going to end up being another girl. Please don't filet me for this, I'm just being honest. We have a daughter now and she's enough. She is literally everything I always worried about having a girl...dramatic, high strung, inconsolable, etc. I'm so worried if we wait and this baby is a girl, I'll end up with ppd worse than the normal "baby blues." Bite the bullet and find out now or stick to our wait it out? What would y'all do? I know I'll eventually love the baby girl because I do love my daughter. When we initially found out she was a girl, I will admit I was disappointed. But, once she got here I was so excited to have a boy and a girl. I know having a girl would be amazing for the two of them, especially since they'll be 23 months apart. I'm probably mind effing this and will be ecstatic either way.
I realize I'm being insensitive and I do apologize. Sincerely. I'm extra hormonal lately.
I realize I'm being insensitive and I do apologize. Sincerely. I'm extra hormonal lately.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Probably an UO (sex disappointment)
Mom to DD(4), DS(2) and # 3 Due 12/14/14
I don't mean to be harsh, but I really think you need to put this in perspective. Having a child is a huge blessing and sadly not everyone who wants children can have them. In the end, what does it really matter if the baby is a boy or girl? Like I said, truly I don't mean to be harsh, but I really think you need a little perspective on this.
Also, if you are truly thinking that having a girl could cause PPD for you, please discuss it with your OB.
I would recommend finding out early if you are this stressed. Maybe give it a week or so, bc you could just be having a rough day with your daughter. If your baby is another girl, you have every right to be disappointed, but you will have to realize that each child is different and your girls could be totally different from one another. Good luck!!
I am so happy that my baby girl is healthy and growing well, but I am allowing myself to be a little sad that I'm not having the son I pictured. I promise not to let myself dwell on it though.
I do appreciate the feedback. This is most definitely my last baby and I guess all my emotions are all over the place.
As for whether to find out, I'd lean toward finding out now bc it sounds like you'd worry and worry about it until the due date. Good luck!
I can't be the only person who has heard that boys are easier than girls?!?!? That's been my experience thus far. (Ya know, all 2 1/2 years I've been an "expert" at this parenting thing). Ha, watch 3 months from now CeCe will turn into this baby angel and I'll feel like a total asshole.
I will admit that I had a lot of anxiety when I was pregnant with DD prior to finding out. My mom and I have a difficult relationship and it seems like most mother/daughter relationships in my family have been strained. Finding out gave me time to work on myself (I went to therapy to work through some of the emotions) and by the time she came I was very ready and very happy to be welcoming her into my life. She is definitely "spirited" and will probably always keep me on my toes, but I am also on high alert for when I bring my own baggage into the equation and hopefully we can start a new trend in my family.
I am very close with my sister and I love having her support in my life, so I would be thrilled if we had another girl. I love my brother lots as well, so a boy is great too. There is something special about a sister relationship though.
Just my experience, take it or leave it
Seriously, everyone, thank you for your feedback. I really do appreciate it. I'm sorry if my post hurt anyone because that was never my intention. I know how lucky I am, I promise. I'm a little hopeful now knowing that I could possibly have a laid back girl. That's a thing, right? Hello? Hello? Anyone?
Anyways. I completely get where you're coming from. I have a certain vision of what I want my family to look like. I know, logically and realistically that I will love this baby regardless of sex, but I do have a preference this time. Finding out the sex will allow me time to adjust my vision if I need to.
I do agree with PP that this is a good topic to discuss with your husband and OB as soon as you can. PPD is a big deal and if you think there's any chance you will suffer more for any reason it should be addressed beforehand so you all have a plan.
Mom to DD(4), DS(2) and # 3 Due 12/14/14
Of course you can't control other peoples' lives, but you can use common sense in what you post and be sensitive to how others feel. If you truly cannot understand how your post about not wanting a girl would be hurtful to some people, then I don't know what else to say. I think if you step back and think about it honestly you will understand.
Anyways, I'm not here to fight with you, but I also won't apologize for what I said. I stand behind it. FWIW, I think you should find out what you're having.
We have tried walking away from her, ignoring her, putting her in a room by herself. It just doesn't work. I will say that I'm incredibly thankful that she's a perfect (I use that term loosely) child at daycare. For that I'm lucky. At home, I guess she feels like she needs to assert her independence, dominance, who knows. Or, she's just my carbon copy and we are inevitably going to butt heads.
Y'all have honestly talked me off my ledge. I should clarify that I was never saying in the beginning that I'd get ppd from this because I know I have zero control over that. I just have this ideal in my head and I'm overthinking what will be will be. PP who mentioned sleepovers with her sisters is what I keep holding on to, if baby is a girl. Jesus the hormones is really all I worry about. My poor husband and son. They will move out or golf, A LOT.
If it makes you feel better my nieces are about the same age gap. The first is a lot like you DD - dramatic, loud, moody - but the second is a sweet, quiet introvert who loves trains. You don't know your LO's personality yet. There's no guarantee that a boy wouldn't be just like your DD or that a girl won't be completely different. Try not to stereotype them or assume your DD only acts that way because she's female. She's a baby. Her personality will be unique and more complex as she grows.
Good luck. Hope you feel better.
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My BFF mentioned making a time out bottle (like glitter and some liquid thing...Pinterest find) to help settle DD when she goes off the ledge. She's a social worker and knows how frustrated I'm getting because I honestly do not know how to handle these crazy outbursts. Have you ever heard of that?
I am an only child and have zero things to compare children to. It's reassuring that not all kids are bad/good. Some days I honestly feel like I live with a schizophrenic.
Why do you worry so much more about how your daughter will view herself, and how she will interact with others? Do you feel that she's more likely to have self-esteem problems or behavioral or social problems because she's a girl? It sounds like when you say you don't want another girl because girls are more difficult, it might really be because you yourself feel that you have had a harder time in life as a female - especially since you've mentioned that you view your daughter as being very much like you. Because of this and because of what you mentioned about PPD, talking to a therapist or counselor about your feelings surrounding this issue might be a really great idea, as previous posters have suggested. And I'm not just saying that as a cop-out - I have OCD myself and have gotten a tremendous amount of help from therapists over the years, and plan to have appointments in place to deal with the post partum period.
But it seems sad that you feel so strongly that your son is so much easier to parent, and that the difference is due to his sex when clearly both girls and boys can be either difficult or relaxed kids. And if you think girls are harder and you have to worry more about them, maybe your expectations have an influence on your daughter's behavior. For what it's worth, I only have a sister, and while I was a more emotional child, she was always very calm. She also grew up to have a kick-ass, traditionally male job as a Navy officer, and for both of us growing up, I think it was very important that our parents didn't make us feel that girls "should" be one way or another, especially since we were always very different from each other.
December 2014 July Siggy Challenge - Favorite Vacation Spot: Greece
I can't help but kind of snicker at some of the comments. Kids are hard dude. They do stuff that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever and it's infuriating. You can be the absolute best and most consistent parent in the world and your kid will still find ways to test you and push your buttons. My boys are 26 months apart, not 13 like the OP, and they drive me up the effing wall sometimes. Sometimes they are both absolutely hard headed, inconsolable, and dramatic. They are kids. They are trying to make sense of this world and test boundaries. This process sucks sometimes.
If I had two kids of the opposite sex and one was much easier than the other, you bet your as$ I would be hoping for the sex of the easier one lol even though it's not scientifically proven that one sex is harder than the other. My experience would definitely factor in and when it comes to something as hard as parenting, who wouldn't want it easier.
I also want to say in a different but related topic, not everyone connects immediately with their child at birth. Of course they love your kid and that strong bond comes later.
I also have no idea if this actually makes sense now that it is all typed out.
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