A sprinkle for 2nd baby?

Meery82 · May 2014

I love how @kimmybaby412‌ always posts some hideous statement, then never has the balls to respond.

SillyMe80 · June 2014

My husband, 3 year old and I are moving a couple months before we are do. We are having a Housewarming & Baby-Q. We are telling our friends and family to not bring anything but a beverage of their choice and an appetite. We just want to celebrate the move and our next little addition. I think a second shower or sprinkle or party is OK as log as you aren't being grubby and just want to celebrate a major milestone with your loved ones.

SillyMe80 · June 2014

*before we are due, not do. Oops!

golfingdarwinfish · June 2014

SillyMe80 said:

My husband, 3 year old and I are moving a couple months before we are do. We are having a Housewarming & Baby-Q. We are telling our friends and family to not bring anything but a beverage of their choice and an appetite. We just want to celebrate the move and our next little addition. I think a second shower or sprinkle or party is OK as log as you aren't being grubby and just want to celebrate a major milestone with your loved ones.

This just sounds more covertly "grubby" rather than openly gift grabby. Why can't it just be messaged as a housewarming?

SillyMe80 · June 2014

Well, our friends kept asking us to do something to celebrate the next kid coming. So, we bunched it in there with the housewarming.

Most of our friends are married, but haven't popped out kids yet. They may have felt diffently if they all had babes of their own.

SillyMe80 · June 2014

Or maybe they are hoping we are going to barbecue a baby.

RMiller25 · June 2014

We are having a very small sprinkle. I have a group of friends (five of us total) whom I have known forever (I met the "newest" friend in the 6th grade, we are all turning 30 soon). We all got married within 2 years of one another and were in one another's weddings. With our first round of kids, we all took turns throwing small couples showers (just us and our husbands, and the babies once they started arriving) which were informal and a lot of fun. One friend had her second this spring and I threw her a sprinkle in February. Two more of us are due this fall and the other girls are planning a joint bbq for August/September. I feel perfectly happy with this, and while some people may think it is a breach of etiquette or gift-grabby, it is an agreed-upon norm for this small circle of friends.

On the other hand, my husband's friends were all single when we had our first and weren't involved in the shower or interested in the baby at all. This time, one is married and one is engaged and apparently at an event my husband attended without me, the ladies got really excited about throwing us a sprinkle. My husband accepted the offer (I think he has always been a little miffed his friends were so disinterested about baby #1) and I guess they are off and running with the planning. This one makes me a little less comfortable, since I have no idea what they are doing/who they are inviting… but I'm not really involved in it at all, so I'm just going with the flow.

cozybluebear · June 2014

My MIL is persistent about having another shower. Our son is only 16 months old and we were "team green" so we have more than what we need and in neutral. I made it clear to her that I would be upset with a 2nd shower... I think it would make us look selfish plus, we don't need anything. So, a full blown shower, no thanks! I recommended a "sprinkle" where all our friends and family get together for a bbq/picnic before baby comes and everyone bring a pack of diapers.

Unknown · June 2014

This content has been removed.

golfingdarwinfish · June 2014

RMiller25 said:

On the other hand, my husband's friends were all single when we had our first and weren't involved in the shower or interested in the baby at all. This time, one is married and one is engaged and apparently at an event my husband attended without me, the ladies got really excited about throwing us a sprinkle. My husband accepted the offer (I think he has always been a little miffed his friends were so disinterested about baby #1) and I guess they are off and running with the planning. This one makes me a little less comfortable, since I have no idea what they are doing/who they are inviting… but I'm not really involved in it at all, so I'm just going with the flow.

I don't expect any of DH's friends to be incredibly interested in our baby or to be involved in our shower. IMO him being miffed at his friends is a bit ridiculous.

lmlee15 · June 2014

I agree with PP that having a shower for a second... third... after the first baby should not be expected/demanded. If you want to celebrate a new baby coming just have a BBQ or something. Someone needs to offer it though I feel like. I dunno... is a sip and see like a sprinkle just after you have the baby? I'm tired... hopefully that made sense haha

AnonnAni · June 2014

If someone has offered ask for little details to make sure it's not gonna be a crazy extraordinary thing that makes you look ridiculous in the end. And maybe no registry I think that's totally not appropriate since you should have everything you need from what I have noticed and seen the sprinkle is more an item of clothing or gift card (if someone's brings a gift at all) type of ordeal.

nickicl · June 2014

For those who think that sprinkles and 2nd time showers are gift grabs... That's bull.

Most etiquette guides if you are into that state that all gifts are optional regardless of event and it is up to the guests to decide.

It doesn't matter if you have 1 child or 4, whatever the gender, if you want to have a party just do it and if people don't want to come they can bow out. On one side of my family, my son (now 4) was the first baby born since me (28 at the time, now 32). On the other side, I have 2 cousins which are now in their early teens so my family really wants to celebrate and buy baby things whether you call it a shower/sprinkle or nothing at all. We haven't started planning anything because it's way too early anyway but we'll probably have a very small little thing just for fun.

Also of note: most people are happy to buy gifts for 2nd (or later) weddings.

nickicl · June 2014

kyliedaniellexx said:

@nickicl‌ there are so, so many things wrong with what you just said. They are gift grabby, period. If you want to have a party go ahead. But call it a party, not a shower, don't have a registry and don't ask for or expect gifts. Also the gender of the baby has nothing to do with anything. Sex, maybe. Gender? Definitely not. And if my friend was having multiple weddings you bet your ass she wouldn't get a gift after the first one. PS, thx for digging up a controversial thread that's been dead for weeks and creating more drama.

1) I am wrong? Are you asserting that that you know more about my personal intentions (and others on the board) than they do about themselves?

I, and everyone else in the world, has a right to have any party they want and call it anything they want.

You also have a right to your opinion...

2) I do not understand what you are trying to say about gender and sex. What I said is, that baby gender has nothing to do with what kind of party you are allowed to have. In fact, nothing does. You are allowed to have any party you want, at any time, for any reason. You don't even need a baby on board! You are also allowed to decline said invites, if offended (as you seem to be) or uninterested.

3) You sound like a great friend being so focused on counting how many pennies you think they are entitled to (sarcasm). There is no obligation to buy presents for anyone for any occasion, so just don't, if you don't want to.

4) You're welcome. You seem very interested in keeping this thread going.

nickicl · July 2014

shinyredsmartazz said:

Disclaimer: I'm very tired and cranky today, and stuck in a box.
Please do some searching on the boards for what Kylie is saying about gender and sex. Suffice it to say you won't know your child's gender for several years after he/she is born. Have all the sprinkles/showers/thunderstorm/blizzard/tsunami parties you want, I honestly give no f*cks, but don't pretend it doesn't go against common etiquette.

I don't care enough to go searching boards, but I assume you are referring to the differences between perceived male vs female based on the baby's anatomy and how the person identifies in life.

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gender

I have learned something new about the subtle difference in the words. Thanks. I suppose what I meant was biological sex, b please inform me if there is an even better word to describe baby's perceived sex?

Anyway, the point is I don't think it matters what sex the baby or gender the child may have (whenever you figure that out).

On etiquette:

https://www.emilypost.com/social-life/celebrations-through-life/456-baby-shower-questions-answered

@darbie914,

Tackiness is a matter of opinion.

I don't know why you ladies are so bothered by strangers having showers you won't be invited to.

nickicl · July 2014

@katehgee‌, sorry I accidentally posted that in frustration before the corrections.

LishaT92 · July 2014

My DD is 3 years old and we are having a small shower because we thought we wouldn't want a second child so we sold all of our things besides the crib as our daughter used it because it converted to a toddler bed. But with this shower, we have bought all of our "big" items. Bed, car seat, changing table, bassinet, etc so people that come can bring small gifts and not feel obligated to spend too much.

nickicl · July 2014

.

nickicl · July 2014

nickicl · July 2014

It continues to amaze me that shower haters keep posting to a thread that is clearly about the exact topic they are so disgusted by.

Unknown · July 2014

This content has been removed.

Unknown · July 2014

This content has been removed.

JunkieBrewster · July 2014

Our first is 8 years old. My family is begging to throw me one, so we will let them. I would have never asked, or thrown one for myself.

My SIL is throwing a baby BBQ, so no games, etc, and no gifts required but I imagine people will, because I know our friends and family even though the invite will specifically say not to. We don't even NEED anything. I've already purchased everything we need.

I am in the south, and it's commonly thrown for second children around these parts.

I do not feel entitled to one, but I will not argue SIL wanting to do it.

Unknown · July 2014

This content has been removed.

CreativeD1 · July 2014

There are clear etiquette rules on this, I would definitely look it up.....

The opinions on this post differ so greatly and a lot of people are discussing their opinions from "their circle" or "their region" but this will not impact you.

Do some etiquette research. Good luck!!!

momthatlifts · July 2014

I feel like I'm the only person who doesn't look that deep and complex in to baby shower invites or showers in general. If someone put "no gifts" I would assume no gifts. A gift card is a gift. Hence the worse "gift"

Want a personalized experience?

A sprinkle for 2nd baby?

Re: A sprinkle for 2nd baby?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards