Asking family members to get flu shot and TDAP? — The Bump
November 2014 Moms

Asking family members to get flu shot and TDAP?

This is something DH and I plan to do and my OB mentioned at my appointment today that it may be a good time to talk about it with "anyone who will be around the baby".  We plan on asking our parents and siblings to get the flu shot and TDAP.

We had mentioned this verbally to DH's family the last time we saw them and I think we may get a little resistance from SIL.  She said she never gets a flu shot because they "make her sick" so I'm not sure if she is intending to.  I'm going to craft a nice email to everyone mentioned above and say that the doctor really encourages it. 

Anyone else planning on doing this? 

**Please, not looking for a debate on flu vaccines and all that shit**
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[Deleted User]runningmama14[Deleted User]KMW08skschumacher[Deleted User]Carebellamockingjay1
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Re: Asking family members to get flu shot and TDAP?

  • Emnob28 said:
    I hadn't really thought about it, but I might just mention the TDAP thing to my siblings.  In CO they require grandparents who visit in the hospital to get a booster so I'm not worried about them.  But I know I didn't realize I needed a TDAP booster again until I went in for a routine doctors visit and she asked.  As it turns out, I hadn't had one since I went to college many moons ago.  Probably just good for everyone to know as a reminder anyway.
    DH already got his and I get mine at 28 weeks.  I just really worry, especially since we're due during flu season. 
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    Carebella[Deleted User]
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  • Hmmmmm. I don't know how I feel about this. I certainly won't be getting into a fight about it but it does make sense. I refused my shot last year because i never really noticed a difference. Now that I will be a Mama I will have to be more mindful...
    Carebella[Deleted User]
  • I had my mom sisters and the grandparents get the flu and tdap when ds was born March 2013 husband and i did too of course. There was an outbreak of both in our area at the time and the hospital was reinforcing very strict guidelines. We felt it was necessary also in that it seems our family is always sick. I swear someone always has a cold, bronchitis, flu whatever.
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    missnacholoverCarebella[Deleted User]
  • Lilwatz said:
    @runningmama14 completely agree.  You can choose who you let come in contact.  I am big on controlling only what you can control. 
    Absolutely!  Honestly, if I had a family member that was refusing the vaccine for a stupid reason, I would probably make that decision more out of spite than medical concern!  Probably not the most mature thing to admit...
    See, I think I am the opposite.  (Don't get me wrong I LOOOOVE a good spiting...)  I can tell family I'd prefer them to be vaccinated, but when push comes to shove I think I'd prioritize my child having time with her family.  Life is about experiences and relationships to me.

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    runningmama14joyfuljesCarebellalisaren
  • DD will just barely be over 2 when this one is born and my mom, grandmother and MIL all got the TDAP. So I think they are fine. We will probably mention the flu vaccine to those three but I'm not asking anyone that isn't spending extended periods of time with us.
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    missnacholoverCarebella[Deleted User]
  • KMW08KMW08 member
    This is a no brainer for me--especially since I work in healthcare and am continuously exposed to flu and all the other sicknesses.

    Dh & I will be getting the flu & tdap. Both of my parents always get the flu shot and I will bring up the tdap with them (my mom works on peds so it'd be good for her anyways). If my mom does it my dad will follow suit.

    I need to talk with my IL's, mil has cancer so I'm pretty sure her docs "force" her to do the flu shot. I'm not sure if they did the tdap, as my nephew is 1.5yrs now.

    I do know mil was upset with me a month ago because I told her thanksgiving and Christmas are no-go's. LO will not be at any parties this season. Dh & I have huge immediate families and I'm not risking all that germ exposure.

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    Carebellamissnacholover[Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • I have a question...I've never had the flu shot, it's always offered to us at work but I've never done it.  I'm sure it would be a good idea to get it this year, here's the question...Can I get it while pregnant?
    Carebella[Deleted User]
  • kayd8kayd8 member
    Our OB mentioned it at our first appointment, so when we told family we were pregnant, it was a little like, "We're having a baby!  And oh hey, you need to get a TDAP shot!"  I figured it we told people early 1) we couldn't forget and 2) they would have time to get used to the idea before they needed to get it. I don't think it should be too big of an issue, especially since it's easy to get.  From what I understand, you can get it at Walgreens or CVS, you don't need to go to your doctor for it.

    I probably won't follow up with anyone other than grandparents on whether they actually get it.  We're planning on going to Christmases like usual, so hopefully that works out.
    Carebella[Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • @ClrkKntismyAE  Thanks for the information!
    [Deleted User]Carebella
  • For everyone strictly requiring these vaccinations, do you require proof, like a doctor's note?

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    ssstephanie214[Deleted User]lisaren[Deleted User]
  • Speaking from a pharmacist's point of view, it is a newer recommendation that any adult around a newborn receive the Tdap booster. I will be getting mine, DH got his script today, and I've told the 4 grandparents to get theirs as well. We will also all have the flu shot.

    My concern is that DH and I host Christmas at our house, and it is generally a large group of people. I probably wont' ask everyone that comes to Christmas to have the vaccines because it is a few hours thing and not recurrent.
    missnacholover[Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • PandaConPandaCon member
    edited June 2014
    JMPrice said:

    You can get the flu shot while pregnant and it's highly recommended. TDAP too.

    My husband is an NP and we don't pull punches when it comes to vaccines. Either get the vaccine or wait until our baby is a year to see it. Sorry, rules are rules.

    In MN all kids in licensed day cares have to be vaccinated. I would not send my kid to day care otherwise.

    Actually in most centers in MN you can opt-out, at least until the fall (I think a new law start in September).  My DS has not caught back up with his vaccines and he starts daycare in a licensed center next week.  Your center could require it though. 

    Long story shot DS needed to be on an alternate schedule for vaccines and since he was at home with me for the first 18 months I was okay with that approach. 

    My mom, dad and MIL all got the TDAP with DS 2 years ago.  I should check to see if a booster would be required or not.  

    Edited to add:  I didn't require the flu shot but my parents and IL's already get them.  My DH did not get the flu shot with DS and we don't regularly get them.  I am still up in the air on if I will get one this time around. 


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  • runningmama14runningmama14 member
    edited June 2014
    bethas said:
    ejpetey said:
    Come to think of it.. do day cares require that kids be vaccinated? Off to google this...
    It depends on the daycare and the state.  Ohio has an opt-out law for religious/personal reasons.  But because we're sending LO to a daycare on a military base, every child HAS to be vaxxed.  (Could you imagine an outbreak on a military installation??)  I would reference your state laws, and then double check with the facilities you're interested in.  Hope it turns out in your favor (which ever way that is)!
    A friend of mine here (Kansas) recently opened an in home daycare.  She used to be a nurse at a peds office and she made a very strict, clear vaccine policy for her daycare.  When the department of health and environment came out to do her licensing inspection, the inspector told her that she couldn't enforce the policy if someone sited religious reasons for not following it.  Her response to the inspector was basically "F that, this is my home and my kids and I don't give a crap who they pray to.  If they are in my home, they will be vaccinated."  The inspector was just like, "well then, that's not really legal" and left it at that.

    Edited to fix spelling
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • Yes I will be requiring my parents and in laws to get their shots updated. My parents will be watching baby when I go to work after maternity leave about twice a week and my in laws maybe once a week.
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    CarebellaKMW08[Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • I had the TDAP booster when my son was around 6 months old, and we both got flu shots that year. I did not do flu shots for my son or myself this year, nor do I plan to in the future (I never got them before he was born, not even during pregnancy). My son is on the spectrum, and this is a personal decision for our family, although my husband will get a flu shot (it's a habit for him). My in-laws, who are the only people who really will be around the new baby a lot, also had the TDAP boosters and they get yearly flu and pneumonia shots as well, I think. My stepdaughter is my big worry, as it seems she's always picking up something (she's 9), but she's vaccinated and I know she gets the flu mist every year, so that should be enough. Above and beyond that, I don't think it's my place to insist all visitors get these shots, just to meet my kid. I know some people do get flu shots, and some (like my son's godmother) are against them, but I've never restricted who could visit. All I ask is that if you feel like you're a little under the weather (or a lot under the weather) stay the hell home. I think that's fair enough. 


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  • wallygirlwallygirl member
    edited June 2014
    @Emnob28‌ it does include tetanus. However, there is just a TD (tetanus diphtheria) booster that does not include pertussis (whooping cough). The pertussis protection is the portion that is important when discussing infants/children. If someone is getting the vaccine at their pcp office instead of an ob they need to specify the TDaP vaccine. We did not routinely stock TDaP and had to special order it if a patient requested it.

    Edit: sometimes words are hard
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • H got his TDaP already. I already talked to my parents and in-laws about the importance of getting one as an adult without outright asking them to go get one. When I go in after 28 weeks to get my own, I'll probably mention it to them again. I don't think I can convince people around me to get the flu shot, but I DO think I can encourage people to get a Tdap booster since most people don't realize that your immunity eventually wears off. I think my parents and ILs will be open to it.

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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • We're in an outbreak area for almost every vaccine-preventable illness that's making a comeback, so it's a touchy subject for us.

    With DD, we sent an email to our family members asking them to be vaccinated if they were planning on spending lots of time with us in the first months highlighting the whooping cough outbreak in our area at the time.  My mom in particular has no immune system - she picks up everything - and I honestly didn't want her to come to our area and risk her own health if she wasn't vaccinated.  

    Obviously you can't control what people in the wide-world are doing, but I would like to control what the people who are staying at our house do.  If they don't want the shots, then they just don't have to come.  We don't ask for documented proof because we trust our family.  

    I wouldn't have thought about it if I weren't the one gestating a baby, so an email explaining the situation made sense to me.  I wouldn't have been offended to receive such an email either.  We will remind family to get their flu shots this year.
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    Carebella[Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • I will probably ask them to (the grandparents and aunts and uncles, at least), especially since we will be going home for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and there will be a lot of people in contact with the baby.

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    missnacholoverCarebella[Deleted User][Deleted User]
  • Dana633 said:
    I have a question...I've never had the flu shot, it's always offered to us at work but I've never done it.  I'm sure it would be a good idea to get it this year, here's the question...Can I get it while pregnant?
    I got mine at one of my regular OB appointments last time.  They had a flu-shot clinic in our doctor's office, but pregnant women were supposed to get theirs through their OB.  There was something different about the formula.  Of course, what's in the flu shot changes each year, so the recommendation may be different this time around.
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