Hello, let me introduce myself first..
For the first 30 years of my life, everything was smooth and worry-free. I was my parents’ most beloved child, found my true love in college, and happily married him after graduation.
At work, I was my boss’s most valued employee. Whenever I was in charge of a project, colleagues would inevitably say, “Oh, then I’m totally at ease.” I was constantly named “Employee of the Year,” with generous bonuses every year.
Later, I started my own business. Within just three months, I had broken into the market and started making money. By the fifth month, I was earning twice my previous salary. Growth was steady month after month. Right when the business needed more hands, I serendipitously met an amazing partner, and the company reached a whole new level.
Really, it seemed like at every step, whatever I needed, a pair of hands would always place it right in front of me, just in time.
My Two Girls: Ellie & Mia
Meet Ellie, My Firstborn
In 2020, my husband and I decided to have a child. After trying for over a year, we finally got the news in 2021 that a little one was on the way. In 2022, we welcomed our first child, Ellie. She made me a mother.
She is utterly adorable—big eyes, rosy skin, chubby little hands. Every time I look at her, I can’t help but give her a kiss. She is pure joy, and I love her more each day.
But as a first-time mom, I faced unprecedented difficulties. The postpartum tearing wouldn’t heal, and the pain was excruciating. Clogged milk ducts made my breasts hard as rocks. The severe sleep deprivation… And what was even more crushing was that, with zero parenting experience, I was clueless when faced with her unexplained wailing, night terrors, refusal to nurse, constipation, diarrhea, fevers… I desperately searched online, longing for one accurate, truly useful answer!
It was during this time that I thought, once I make it through this “dark” path, I must leave a light on for other new moms.
And Then Came Mia
Ellie had just turned one when I got pregnant again. In 2024, we welcomed our second daughter, Mia.
Completely different from Ellie, Mia is a great eater and sleeper. Although she had her fussy moments in the first two months, starting almost from month three, she became super easygoing. She feeds on schedule, gradually sleeps through the night, loves her solid foods, and adapted quickly when I had to stop breastfeeding due to mastitis.
This made me realize just how vastly different babies can be! It made me even more determined to write about my experiences.
Why I Had to Start This Blog
The Catalyst: A Life Pivoted
After Mia was born, my business also began to decline sharply. I had no choice but to close it and become a full-time mom. My work no longer involves Excel and Word, but instead revolves around changing diapers, washing bottles, making baby food, and managing household chores…
This has been a monumental challenge for me. All my past achievements seem irrelevant now. Managing two young children has brought me a sense of frustration I’ve never known before.
The Daily Reality
They are always fighting over things. When one is in my arms, the other immediately demands to be held too. When I try to cook, Ellie wants me to read her a book. When I attempt to load the washing machine, Mia has a diaper blowout, and I must drop everything to change her…
By the time I finish all that, I see the cup of hot coffee on the table has gone cold again. And it’s not until evening that I remember, “Oh my goodness, the clothes are still in the hamper, unwashed!”
Of course, being a mom is filled with happiness, but that doesn’t negate how hard it is.
My Promise to You
Because I’ve walked this path myself, I won’t just tell you how joyful motherhood is, like many websites do. I want to share my real, unfiltered experiences so every new mom can find a “companion” here.
I want to tell you: you are not alone. What you’re going through, I’ve been there too. Your breakdowns, your helplessness, your moments of losing control—I’ve had them all. You don’t need to feel guilty. This is just a small, necessary stretch of the journey for every mom.
My Hope for This Space
I really want to share my parenting experiences—not just the warm, glowing moments, but to honestly document the pitfalls I’ve stumbled into, the tears I’ve shed, and the “survival wisdom” I’ve scraped together in utter exhaustion.
The Goal: A Mom’s Toolkit
I hope this blog becomes a “mom’s toolkit,” filled not with vague theories, but with:
- Practical Tips: Like how to quickly figure out why a baby is crying, tried-and-true methods for dealing with clogged ducts, or how to efficiently manage the daily grind with twins (or two under two) solo.
- Pitfall Avoidance Guides: Sharing the baby products I regret buying the most, and those “game-changer” parenting hacks. Letting you know which parenting anxieties you can let go of, and which principles are worth holding onto.
- A Community for Moms: I hope my stories connect me with more moms like you. We can cheer each other on in the comments, share our own tricks, turning the storms we face alone into a journey we walk together.
The Bigger Vision
My previous career taught me to analyze data, solve problems, and optimize processes. Now, I’m applying all those skills to this new “position” of Mom. I want to prove that a mom’s value is absolutely not confined to the home. The mindset, resilience, and creativity we built in our careers can shine just as brightly—perhaps even brighter—in this more complex, long-term “project” of raising humans, and can even be transformed into a force that helps others.
My hope is simple: that every mom who opens this blog can let out a sigh of relief and say, “So it’s not just me.” Then, she can find a bit of practical info, a dose of comforting solidarity, and return to her sweet, chaotic mom-life with a little more confidence and a little less weight on her shoulders.
This road? Let’s walk it together.
aubreyan
member
Re: Didn't think I'd be joining this group.
Brooke Elizabeth born Feb 17, 2013 grew wings May 9, 2013 @ 11 weeks & 4 days old from SIDS
I just wanted to say I feel for you! I remember all too well that heart-sinking moment when I found out there was no heartbeat. That has to be the worst thing in the world. I was already at L&D when I found out so I was induced right away. It took about 12 hours for me.
Big hugs to you - I am so sorry you have to go through this.
first son stillborn 7/20/13 at 39 weeks due to Acute Fatty Liver of Pregnancy
It's a girl! Baby Anna was born August 3, 2014!
I'm so sorry for the loss of your little girl. When we found out we had lost our son, they told us we could go straight to the hospital, or wait it out a bit at home since my body had started contracting. We decided to go straight there, and they got me on pain meds, since the contractions were escalating quickly. I ended up having an emergency C-section, so I don't have any other advice on the inducing or labor part.
At our hospital, they took photos, got footprints, and cut a lock of his hair, along with giving us his nightgown, hat, blankie that he was wrapped in, and his armband, as well as letting us hold him for as long as we wanted. I wish I had gotten handprints as well, along with hand and foot molds and more pictures. Basically - you can't have enough of these types of things. There is so little to remember our babies by, anything you can think of that you might want, ask.
I am so so sorry for your loss, and know that we are here whenever you need us. ((hugs))
My Blog
BFP# 1 7/7/12 Beautiful DD born still at 36 weeks 5 days on 3/2/13
Diagnosed with PCOS in 2005. Started Metformin July 2013
Please be our rainbow!!
**All AL Welcome**
We lost our daughter at 18 weeks. We found out at our anatomy scan that she had passed. I chose to be induced the following morning. The induction took almost 20 hours with Cytotec. I was not in labor when we began. The hospital was wonderful. They gave us a room away from the main rooms on the floor. I was given my choice of pain meds- chose to have a morphine drip in case I wanted meds. When she was delivered we were able to spend as much time with her that we wanted. I had contacted NILMDTS to have some photos taken. The hospital had a blanket and hat for her and prepared foot and hand prints in plaster. I did not bring anything from home for her, but I wish I had.
Your children will help you through this. My other daughter was such a help in getting me through this. Although, it was hard for her to understand what was happening but she knew I needed her. Sending hugs your way.
I am so sorry for the loss of your sweet little girl. I chose a D&E so I don't have any advice on the induction/delivery but I do really wish I had gotten to hold and love on my little girl.
big ((hugs))
8/12-Suprise BFP- Sweet Bunny Born Sleeping 11/21/12 (19 weeks)
-5/7/13- MMC (8 Weeks)
11/6/13- BO discovered at 7 weeks- natural MC 11/25/13
8/14- Surpise IF dx...low AMH (.24)- moving on to IVF
IVF #1- 11/14- 6R5M4F=2 perfect frosties
12/19/14- FET of 2 embabies = BFP!!! One Little Bean EDD: 9/3/15
Everyone Welcome.
Me 32 (Stage IV Endometriosis, short luteal phase) DH 38
Married 5/2010
January 2014- DS born healthy at 35.4 weeks
February 2014- DS passed away due to complications from adenovirus
February 2015- Rainbow baby DD born at 36.3 weeks
My chart: http://www.fertilityfriend.com/home/42fd32
take as many pictures as possible you will cherish those forever. Trust me. Also anything that she touches you will find very sacred. I still sleep with a blanket Sydney was covered in. We were able to get some of her hair, hand prints, foot prints even a mold of her hands and feet. The only difference is Sydney was 38 weeks. Just make sure you do what is best for you and your DH.
I am so sorry you have to join us!! It has been 2 years and 8 months for me and it still feels like it was yesterday.
Heather
I delivered at 23 weeks because of pre-term labor/early rupture of membranes, so I don't have any advice/experience with inducing labor.
As others have mentioned, unfortunately you have to think about how to handle her remains (we chose to have the hospital take care of our babies) as well as spending time with your baby, getting pictures (I wish we had contacted Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep...) as well as do you want your children and/or family members to meet her.
Again, I'm so sorry to welcome you to this board - I hope that physically, labor is as smooth as it can be.
Many prayers are with you and your family.
I lost my son, Devon, at almost 35 weeks in 2012 (it's been almost two years...wow...definitely still feels like yesterday). The hospital gave me the option to be released and wait to go into labor on my own, or to be induced right then and there - I chose to be induced immediately. I was nowhere near being ready for labor, so I did three rounds of Cycotec, plus pitocin, before things really started going. I labored for 27 hours. I had them give me IV pain meds for awhile so I could still get up and move, then I got a ridiculously strong epidural once I asked for it. I really didn't feel anything, but I was so emotionally distraught that it all seems like a blur now.
I do not know when you will be induced, but definitely make sure that they can give you a private room far away from everything/everyone (i got a corner room that was the furthest away from the other rooms; new laboring moms were put on the opposite end of the hallway so I never saw/heard them or their babies). Make sure there is some sort of sign or picture on your door that lets those entering know what you are going through a loss. As others said, take pictures, spend time, do whatever you feel is right in the moment - and try not to regret things you wanted to do but didn't, for one reason or another. I didn't get as many pictures as I wanted, but I will always remember what he looked like and will always cherish those few hours we did have together. Nothing will take that away from me.
Please update when you can on how you're doing. I'm so, so sorry to welcome you here. **hugs**
I don't have any experience with a situation like yours, but I'm so sorry for your loss.
My son had limited blood flow the last few weeks due to a cord accident so he was undersized. I thought I wanted to see him but I also knew I didn't want a negative image in my mind- so I asked the nurse for her recommendation and she said I may not want to see him, so I didn't. It's not for everyone but it was best for us.
My physical recovery was relatively easy (good pain meds and Ambien) and I was out of work for 3 weeks.
Unfortunately I'm back there again- literally. We lost our daughter at 15 weeks and I'm waiting to deliver. Since it's our second 2nd tri loss we'll be getting chromosomal testing done to see if there are any other issues.
It's a shitty thing to go through but I will tell you that my daughter was a wonderful distraction through the whole thing. I hope your kids will be the same for you. Take care of yourself.
BFP #1- 4/2011; DD Brynn born 12/2011
BFP #2- 7/13; EDD- 4/2/14; Lost DS at 20 weeks (11/16/13) due to cord accident
BFP #3- 3/14; EDD- 11/28/14; Lost DD at 15 weeks (6/7/14)- cause unknown
To my angels- I held you every second of your lives and I'll love you every second of mine.
I agree with @ stefuge "At our hospital, they took photos, got footprints, and cut a lock of his hair, along with giving us his nightgown, hat, blankie that he was wrapped in, and his armband, as well as letting us hold him for as long as we wanted. I wish I had gotten handprints as well, along with hand and foot molds and more pictures. Basically - you can't have enough of these types of things."
We had pictures, foot prints, lock of hair, and held our son for hours... You can never have enough pictures, hugs and kisses... that will make up for the lifetime you had planned, but you can try. Thinking of you and your family and sending you hugs.