FFFC

SummerLove21 · June 2014

Starting this a few hours early, because I got a good one (for me):

Tonight at the Varsity cheer practice, three of their stunt groups tried to learn a full-up to prep (see here if you want to know what it is, start at :50 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W-fcrG0Xmr8). Not a single group achieved it, even with the (very experienced) Varsity coach (yeah, the one who is rude about my time) and their super-star, super-strong male consultant.

FFFC is I taught it - successfully and alone - to a Freshman group and a JV group last year (no one on Varsity did it last year), and I am feeling all kinds of smug and awesome about it and I don't feel the tiniest bit guilty. Coach SummerLove21 FTW.

tamarar5 · June 2014

@SummerLove21 I love moments like that!

jesuisfatiguee · June 2014

I'd be smug, too!

jesuisfatiguee · June 2014

I might leave for work early today because DS is being whiny.

TarheelMama202 · June 2014

ByeByeBooze said:
And my confession - still period-free and no positive test, so I drank my dinner last night and feel like crap now. DH and I played one-on-one quarters (drinking game) and I lost... badly. It's 8:45am and I am seriously considering a nap.

I want to come over next time.

TarheelMama202 · June 2014

@summerlove21, I cheered all
all throughout middle and high school for my school teams and an Allstar squad. I know precisely what you're talking about! Go you!

DublinMama · June 2014

So I'm in RI for the week and DS gets to spend a lot of time with his cousins, which is awesome. One is 4 weeks younger than he is, and she is sort of a bruiser lol. She's very into "No!" right now and wants whatever someone else has, even if she wasn't interested in it until someone else had it. Very typical toddler stuff, but my boy is a little less confrontational and is sort of getting bulldozed. His cousin will take something from him, and he'll happily go find something else. But then she wants that new thing, too. I'm glad he's chill, but I don't want him constantly feeling like he has to give things up if someone has a stronger personality.

My confession is that I have zero issue with and firmly believe in teaching kids to share, but I also am just as firm in making sure "sharing" doesn't turn into "just give the other kid the toy/thing/whatever is the point of contention." Sharing means everyone gets a turn. So when DS' cousin has been coming over and snatching up whatever DS has, I've been very vocal about saying "E, Jax is playing with that right now. In a few minutes you can have a turn and Jax will play with something else." I feel like it makes me appear as if I think my kid is more entitled to things. He's certainly not. But he's not less entitled to them, either.

tamarar5 · June 2014

@DublinMama‌ Go you! Why isn't cousin's mom stepping in too?

DublinMama · June 2014

TamaraR4 said:

@DublinMama‌ Go you! Why isn't cousin's mom stepping in too?

She does. But it's more verbal than getting involved. She'll say, "E, Jackson is playing with that. Give it back." But she won't always go take the toy from her and give it back to Jax. I guess from my perspective I feel like I'm supposed to be "polite" and say, "Oh, it's no big deal she can have it." Which is fine for a couple times. But no, she can't have everything he's playing with. And he can't have everything, either. I think teaching makes me a little more sensitive to things, also. I see kids with quieter personalities and smaller builds getting taken advantage of a lot.

I can't say for sure now who DS will be, but I don't ever want him to feel marginalized by someone who thinks they can capitalize on his willingness to be flexible or small stature (and given that I'm 5'6 and DH is 5'5, we can probably bank on that).

tamarar5 · June 2014

Well I think that your doing right.

Dannysmama · June 2014

Lots to confess to this week.

- DS is cutting molars and has had the poops and SEVERE, painful diaper rash, so he's spending a lot of time without a diaper on. Which also means, he's had a poop or several on the floor or the deck. But DS goes tearing around the place with the dog chasing him, so when he poops (as hard as we try to catch him in the act), there's a decent chance that both he and the dog are going to run through it and track it all over our house.

- DS also likes to wiggle his butt in front of the dog and then run away laughing hysterically as the dog chases after him while trying to lick his butt. It's hilarious and disturbing.

- DS managed to pull his diaper off without removing his shorts today and then pooped. I think he's done it before when DH was watching him, because I stepped in a pea sized turd yesterday and have no idea where it came from. Breaking out the duct tape now ...

Sidebar - we *are* cleaning like mad people. Top to bottom, floor washing and mad sanitizing. But this kid is a poop ninja.

And to top it all off ...

- DS stealthily pushed the one-touch call button on our alarm system and the fire department ended up at our house this morning. While I do sincerely feel bad that the FD had to rush over and I was really apologetic, DS got a big kick out of the fire truck outside, and I kind of wish they'd stayed longer. I should mention they came while DS was getting some fresh-butt air, so yeah, future exhibitionist in the making over here.

jesuisfatiguee · June 2014

Sagen said:

One last thing since I am feeling all debbie downer this am. I feel like a craptastic am I screwing them up mother probably 97% of the time. That 3% is pretty sweet though.

I am 99.9% positive you are doing an excellent job as a mom. Just look at your kids - the proof will be in their happiness and overall well-being. Look at the fruits

I do know how you feel though, I think, with my one kid. I can go to a really dark place fairly quickly if I don't catch myself. **hugs**

khaze · June 2014

@DublinMama - just wanted to comment on your comment about DS being small. My husband is 6'1" and his parents are 5'5" and 5'6" coincidentally. You just never know

Rosebean · June 2014

This is totally a XP from August 2014, but here goes...

I was getting a prenatal massage this week and I have been dealing with congested lungs. I have to cough pretty hard to get the phlegm up and it can go on forever. So during my massage, I had to cough and I ended up farting (loudly) at the same time. I pray I coughed loudly enough to cover the sound of my fart....

ericalee27 · June 2014

DublinMama said:

I also am just as firm in making sure "sharing" doesn't turn into "just give the other kid the toy/thing/whatever is the point of contention." Sharing means everyone gets a turn. So when DS' cousin has been coming over and snatching up whatever DS has, I've been very vocal about saying "E, Jax is playing with that right now. In a few minutes you can have a turn and Jax will play with something else." I feel like it makes me appear as if I think my kid is more entitled to things. He's certainly not. But he's not less entitled to them, either.

*STUCK IN A BOX*

But yeah....PREACH. I went on a beach vacation with friends when DS1 was 18 months, and the other couple's DD was also 18 months. Their DD was the bulldozer and if DS1 didn't hand over a toy immediately the other husband would announce for the room "I guess DS1 just isn't a good sharer.." I about throat punched him.

DublinMama · June 2014

DC2London said:

When I give my thoughts or advice on a thread on The Bump, I often wonder if people believe or respect it a little bit less bc of DS1's issues.

Uh, WHAT?? I have never once met you IRL, and I still consider your advice/insight/experience to be some of the most top notch, well informed stuff I have taken into consideration and done myself. Your approach to your son and his needs should garner all.the.respect. from people. You can't compare parenting a typical child vs. one with special needs. It just shouldn't be done.

jesuisfatiguee · June 2014

DC2London said:

When I give my thoughts or advice on a thread on The Bump, I often wonder if people believe or respect it a little bit less bc of DS1's issues.

Never. Ever.

If anything, I might respect it more since I know you have a challenging kid.

jesuisfatiguee · June 2014

Teacher Clark said:
I'm pretty sure most people think you are mother Theresa around here DC, but I get it. I feel like people on the bump and IRL take me less seriously because of my current situation. I also think they must think that I was a total bitch and he was justified in what he did. That if I was a good wife, mother, person, he wouldn't have wanted to cheat.

My opinion may not be as weighted in this case, but this is absolutely not how I see it. I pretty much always, always side with the person who is cheated on rather than the cheater. No matter how miserable you are in a relationship, there are precious few excusable incidents in my book.

AH's actions do not reflect badly on you. They reflect badly on him. That's just a fact.

SummerLove21 · June 2014

DC and Teach, you are two of the most bada** people I have met on the webs. I don't need to know you IRL to know that you rock and your advice is sound and inspired. You both have offered advice that has helped me immensely, whether you know it or not (as have several people on this board).

And Teach, anyone who thinks your current situation is your fault is an a**hat. Why did Jennifer Aniston get cheated on? Why does Halle Berry forever get cheated on (no, but for real on that...wth)? IMO, cheating is the sole responsibility of the cheater. Even if there are problems, cheating is never the noble way out. Ever.

tamarar5 · June 2014

@Teacher Clark‌ You ARE a great person. I admire your strength, your ability to continue through a year more challenging than most, your commitment to your children, and most of all, that you love and value YOURSELF too much to just sit back and let a douchebag walk all over you. You alone have taken the high road (mostly

) and continued to play nice for your children's sake. You are a successful, awesome, amazing person and I admire you! I hope that some day, if/when I find myself in a tough situation, that I can handle it with half as much dignity and grace add you have.

StephPeth · June 2014

DC2London said:

When I give my thoughts or advice on a thread on The Bump, I often wonder if people believe or respect it a little bit less bc of DS1's issues.

NO. Stop thinking that way.

StephPeth · June 2014

Teacher Clark said:

When I give my thoughts or advice on a thread on The Bump, I often wonder if people believe or respect it a little bit less bc of DS1's issues.
I'm pretty sure most people think you are mother Theresa around here DC, but I get it. I feel like people on the bump and IRL take me less seriously because of my current situation. I also think they must think that I was a total bitch and he was justified in what he did. That if I was a good wife, mother, person, he wouldn't have wanted to cheat.

NO! Stop thinking like this Teach!

wifeofadam · June 2014

I love both DC and Teach and think that their experiences make their advice even more valuable to me.

My confession - my kids are probably healthy enough to go to my cousins graduation party tomorrow, but it's a 2.5 hour drive and I'm not in the mood, so I'm not going. It's probably the right decision, because they technically could still be contagious, but secretly I'm happy I have a good excuse. I want to grill out and drink wine instead of spending five hours in the car with four kids tomorrow.

jesuisfatiguee · June 2014

I WANT TO GIVE YOU ALL HUGS AND FOOT RUBS RIGHT NOW.

tamarar5 · June 2014

Teacher Clark said:

TamaraR4 said:
@Teacher Clark‌ You ARE a great person. I admire your strength, your ability to continue through a year more challenging than most, your commitment to your children, and most of all, that you love and value YOURSELF too much to just sit back and let a douchebag walk all over you. You alone have taken the high road (mostly ) and continued to play nice for your children's sake. You are a successful, awesome, amazing person and I admire you! I hope that some day, if/when I find myself in a tough situation, that I can handle it with half as much dignity and grace add you have.
Thank you Tamara.

Unfortunately I don't think I always handle it well. STBXH still won't answer anything about why happened. This means that sometimes when I see him I get all ragey. Unfortunately this also means DD1 had had to hear us fight a time or two and I'm not proud of that

No one expects you to be perfect. I certainly couldn't have done it! But for the most part, you have tried your best. You don't berate their father to your children, or two them what a horrible lying jerk he is. Or at least, i'm pretty sure you h haven't. The simple fact that you know that dd1 has heard you argue, and you aren't pleased, just goes to show you are the better person. Some day, you'll have that discussion that all parents have with their kids, that one about things they aren't proud of, and you can tell her about that one.

But like I said, no one expects you to be perfect. We are human, not robots. We make mistakes and we move on. Losing your temper, and even saying hard things, doesn't make you a bad person, it makes you normal.

tamarar5 · June 2014

He IS a big pile of poop.

. The important part right now is that you are maintaining for your children that **both ** mommy and daddy love them, even though they don't live together. That is what they need to hear. Soon enough they'll realize what a jacka$$ he was (and may still be by that point) and they will support and love you even more.

kleigh926 · June 2014

This week I have been unbelievably busy and I'm ticked off. I'm pregnant and I just want to lay around and eat ice cream. I don't want to work, I don't want to cook, I don't want to clean. I don't want to chase DD around all over the place. I want to do nothing.

tamarar5 · June 2014

Baby turned today. I'm 90% she's head down now but I feel like she's breaking my pelvis in half. I wish she has stayed sideways 1) so that I would be hurting so freaking bad, and 2) I was hoping for a legitimate reason to have a scheduled delivery. Bonus points if I could get it scheduled while my mom is out of town just so I could say I told you so (after she said it's highly unlikely that I'd have the baby on my due date).

Flame away.

tamarar5 · June 2014

+adamwife+ said:
I love both DC and Teach and think that their experiences make their advice even more valuable to me.

My confession - my kids are probably healthy enough to go to my cousins graduation party tomorrow, but it's a 2.5 hour drive and I'm not in the mood, so I'm not going. It's probably the right decision, because they technically could still be contagious, but secretly I'm happy I have a good excuse. I want to grill out and drink wine instead of spending five hours in the car with four kids tomorrow.

I don't blame you one bit. Wine vs 5 hours in the car?

Wine for the win every time.

tamarar5 · June 2014

Teacher Clark said:

TamaraR4 said:
Baby turned today. I'm 90% she's head down now but I feel like she's breaking my pelvis in half. I wish she has stayed sideways 1) so that I would be hurting so freaking bad, and 2) I was hoping for a legitimate reason to have a scheduled delivery. Bonus points if I could get it scheduled while my mom is out of town just so I could say I told you so (after she said it's highly unlikely that I'd have the baby on my due date).

Flame away.
No flames here.

A coworkers husband wanted to go away a few weeks before she was due. She of course said please don't go. He stayed, but was pissy about it. She went in to labor that night

I justify my frustration by reminding myself that I naturally went into labor (as in was finally contacting enough to be admitted after 3 weeks of labor) with dd1 two days before my due date and she arrived the day before my due date.

wifeofadam · June 2014

@Sagen

And because one isn't enough...

SummerLove21 · June 2014

You all are commenting faster than I can read! LOL

Which reminds me of something funny my little sister said (she is 24 and was single at the time) when I told her I was KU again:

"Can you and *other sister* please slow down already? I need to have a baby next so I don't feel behind." And she was being serious! I told her she needed to find a nice guy who treated her well first. So she got back together with her multiple-times-cheating ex. Dumba**. (And no, I will not "slow down" for you.)

Can someone please break down ASTBXB for me? Because everytime I see this, I think I get the gist, but I have no clue what it means.

cinnasugar · June 2014

Teacher Clark said:

God gives us the children he gives us. I believe it is our job to honor who they are, not who we want them to be. .

Thank you for this. I find myself struggling with my DD, because she is so 'spirited.' I need to remind myself of this once in awhile.

Myaflowers · June 2014

DC2London said:

When I give my thoughts or advice on a thread on The Bump, I often wonder if people believe or respect it a little bit less bc of DS1's issues.

That makes me respect it more, actually!

Myaflowers · June 2014

Teacher Clark said:

When I give my thoughts or advice on a thread on The Bump, I often wonder if people believe or respect it a little bit less bc of DS1's issues.
I'm pretty sure most people think you are mother Theresa around here DC, but I get it. I feel like people on the bump and IRL take me less seriously because of my current situation. I also think they must think that I was a total bitch and he was justified in what he did. That if I was a good wife, mother, person, he wouldn't have wanted to cheat.

I cheated and skipped to the end of the thread, but @TeacherClark, you don't seem like a bitch, but even if you were, he wouldn't be justified in what he did! There is NO excuse for his behavior! Good for you for doing what's best for you and your DDs. Screw anyone who thinks otherwise!

Rosebean · June 2014

Myaflowers said:

Teacher Clark said:

When I give my thoughts or advice on a thread on The Bump, I often wonder if people believe or respect it a little bit less bc of DS1's issues.
I'm pretty sure most people think you are mother Theresa around here DC, but I get it. I feel like people on the bump and IRL take me less seriously because of my current situation. I also think they must think that I was a total bitch and he was justified in what he did. That if I was a good wife, mother, person, he wouldn't have wanted to cheat.

I cheated and skipped to the end of the thread, but @TeacherClark, you don't seem like a bitch, but even if you were, he wouldn't be justified in what he did! There is NO excuse for his behavior! Good for you for doing what's best for you and your DDs. Screw anyone who thinks otherwise!

THIS! Teach... I don't understand how you can keep depraving yourself like this. You need to stop letting him have this power over you where you keep thinking YOU weren't good enough!!! HE ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU! His behavior to choose instant gratification and take ZERO responsibility should be the loud whistle in your ear that tells you how much he didn't and never will deserve you. He sold you. He made you believe that everything he ever said was true and then tried (and still does) to rake you over the coals to justify his lies and broken promises. So easy to point a finger when you have 3 more pointing back at you. So please hun, put an elastic band around your wrist and snap it whenever you start thinking that way. I guarantee it will help SNAP you out of your way of thinking like this.

Puck1182 · June 2014

Ok here's a lighthearted one that may be more of a UO, but most of the time I don't care for bacon. On the rare occasion I do want it, it basically needs to be burnt to a crisp, but most of the time I'm just grossed out by how fatty and greasy it is.

Also, I should be cooking dinner tonight, but we're ordering takeout because DD and I have spent the last hour and a half snuggling on the couch and watching tv. Way more tv than I usually let her watch, but I missed her a lot while I was at work this week and I really want some baby snuggles!

Puck1182 · June 2014

@ByeByeBooze‌ it's Doozers! She likes it even more than Fraggle Rock these days. You can find it on Hulu. It's pretty cute, 12-minute episodes where they solve problems with engineering and song. ;-)

But she was also teething and tired, so that increased the cuddle factor. Her normal bedtime is 8, and she wound up crashing at like 6:45, without even eating dinner, poor thing. :-(

Myaflowers · June 2014

I so want some bacon now, dang it!

wifeofadam · June 2014

Puck1182 said:

Ok here's a lighthearted one that may be more of a UO, but most of the time I don't care for bacon.

Stop the press. How can you not like bacon?

I was a vegetarian for over ten years and my doctor wanted me to start eating meat to deal with my anemia. My first taste of meat after all of those years - bacon. Mmmmmm.

It's been almost nine months since I've had it and I'm dying. I can't find any bacon that doesn't have nitrates and sugar. I actually ordered a half pork to be butchered this August just so I can have sugar-free and nitrate-free bacon. I can't wait!!!!

Puck1182 · June 2014

+adamwife+ said:

Puck1182 said:

Ok here's a lighthearted one that may be more of a UO, but most of the time I don't care for bacon.

Stop the press. How can you not like bacon?

I was a vegetarian for over ten years and my doctor wanted me to start eating meat to deal with my anemia. My first taste of meat after all of those years - bacon. Mmmmmm.

It's been almost nine months since I've had it and I'm dying. I can't find any bacon that doesn't have nitrates and sugar. I actually ordered a half pork to be butchered this August just so I can have sugar-free and nitrate-free bacon. I can't wait!!!!

It's the fat. Animal fat grosses me out. I don't like the way it feels between my teeth, gives me the heebie jeebies. Which is why it needs to be burnt if I'm going to eat it.

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