FFFC

watercolor5 · June 2014

My mom is in town for the week and I'm trying to squeeze in every summer activity on my to do list while I have the extra help. So much seems overwhelming and impossible when It's just me and two babies. (DH is still on night shift, so sleeps most days.)

We went strawberry picking today and after picking a 5.5 lbs bucket of strawberries, we went into the farm stand shop and bought blueberries and blackberries too. AND I'm not planning on doing anything that requires a kitchen like jam or pies or canning, so everyone in my family will be eating all. the. berries. for the next week. I'm scared of what that will do to our poops, because it is IMPOSSIBLE to resist fresh berries.

Nita2603 · June 2014

I have punched a few people. Many, actually. Comes with doing martial arts.
I have not punched many outside the dojo, though.
Haribo raspberries are the shit. Many other Haribo things are too.

Both my kids have croup. Again. So we went to the zoo today. Not sick enough to stay home all day, but too sick to do anything with other kids. Don't want to spread it.
Confession part is that we went to the zoo because of me, not the kids. I knew I had the crankiest of kids and wanted my day to better. So I got to feed Llamas and deer and donkeys and pet them all and look at twin baby lemurs. So there.

KKSBeans · June 2014

mrssqueegy said:
I finally fit back into my bikinis (only took 21 months) and they are the only bathing suits I have now in this size. I am going to a work conference next week and I'm sure there will be people wanting to go to the pool. I'm so nervous about wearing a bikini around my colleagues especially because of our line of work. I'm going to try and just own it and be like, "Yeah, I had a baby and I still look great!" We'll see how long that attitude lasts.

all of my bathing suit have went MIA over the years. I need a new one so I can get in the kiddie pool with K, but for some reason I am in the mind set that because I am a mom and 30, I need a tankini. Now keep in mind I am the same size I was pre pregnancy, I just feel like things look different. That and I had a mole removed postpartum and I have a 2ish inch scar with track marks. I remember them being so much cuter. The ones I have seen are so granny

I just need to get over it and buy a cute bikini.

Holly_1007 · June 2014

At what age is a bikini no longer acceptable?

melody921 · June 2014

KKSBeans said:

I finally fit back into my bikinis (only took 21 months) and they are the only bathing suits I have now in this size. I am going to a work conference next week and I'm sure there will be people wanting to go to the pool. I'm so nervous about wearing a bikini around my colleagues especially because of our line of work. I'm going to try and just own it and be like, "Yeah, I had a baby and I still look great!" We'll see how long that attitude lasts.
all of my bathing suit have went MIA over the years. I need a new one so I can get in the kiddie pool with K, but for some reason I am in the mind set that because I am a mom and 30, I need a tankini. Now keep in mind I am the same size I was pre pregnancy, I just feel like things look different. That and I had a mole removed postpartum and I have a 2ish inch scar with track marks. I remember them being so much cuter. The ones I have seen are so granny I just need to get over it and buy a cute bikini.

Check out Athleta. A lot of their styles look cute!

BeebopandBuddy · June 2014

mrssqueegy said:

BeebopandBuddy said:

FFFC: I just charged a beach chair for Ethan to DH's credit card without asking. It's on file with Amazon, so it's not like I stole it, but I'm tired of paying for every single thing for the kids just because I'm the one who puts the effort into shopping and finding the deal.

We have an account for bills and each have a separate spending account. I bet 90% of my money each paycheck goes to buying stuff for the kids. He does buy the groceries every weekend, but he never thinks to ask if I need money for their clothes, diapers, toys, haircuts or anything else that I do for them so I pay for. I've said something and he says just ask. I don't want to feel like I'm begging for money, so I guess this is my way of "asking".

This is exactly why I have never understood separate accounts. If you are adamant about having your own account, you need have a joint account for family expenses. This is just silly to be "stealing" from your spouse.

He was adamant about having his own account, not me. It would be good to have another joint account for family expenses though.

Holly_1007 · June 2014

When Colby out grows his crib (hopefully not for another year or so) I plan on completely re doing his room, since his is all hand me down from keagan anyway. I have absolutely zero inspiration and cannot even commit to a color scheme or theme or anything. When I did keagans big boy room it was so easy, I knew exactly what I wanted and what fit his personality. Maybe Colby is just too young? Maybe I'm subconsciously struggling to change that room from a nursery to something more grown up? At least I have a lot of time.

Holly_1007 · June 2014

mrssqueegy said:

Holly_1007 said:

At what age is a bikini no longer acceptable?

I think a tasteful bikini is acceptable at any age.

really? I'm seriously struggling wearing one in public.

watercolor5 · June 2014

Every room in my house is painted the same color. It was built in 2011, and we just bought it and moved in in Jan, so I guess the previous owners decided they wanted to move before they got around to painting it.

The problem is, the color is really inoffensive because it's the color the builder went with... sort of a sandy beige that sets off the white architectural details nicely. Because I don't hate it, I may take years to paint over it. We're going to look like we "just moved in" forever.

BeebopandBuddy · June 2014

Cheenomae said:

BeebopandBuddy said:

FFFC: I just charged a beach chair for Ethan to DH's credit card without asking. It's on file with Amazon, so it's not like I stole it, but I'm tired of paying for every single thing for the kids just because I'm the one who puts the effort into shopping and finding the deal.

We have an account for bills and each have a separate spending account. I bet 90% of my money each paycheck goes to buying stuff for the kids. He does buy the groceries every weekend, but he never thinks to ask if I need money for their clothes, diapers, toys, haircuts or anything else that I do for them so I pay for. I've said something and he says just ask. I don't want to feel like I'm begging for money, so I guess this is my way of "asking".

I've always wondered how people don't "share" money. I mean, I realize you share because if you needed more he'd gladly give it to you, but it's still such a foreign concept to me. I also buy everything for the kids and well...I buy pretty much everything. I buy it all with our money though. I feel like if mine and DH's paycheck didn't go into the same account I'd have constant resentment. He makes a shitload more than me, but I also work my ass off!

I always want to ask a million questions. How did you decide who puts what in the shared account? Is it a percentage of each check or are the bills essentially split half and half? Do you both end up with the same amount left over after the money goes into the shared account? Why is it even fair for you to be buying everything and the DH not have to buy anything just because you're the one that "runs" the household. These are questions I'm not asking you to answer, just the questions I always have.

Our BFF's (a couple) don't share money and DH and I ask them questions EVERY TIME we go out with them. "So, who is paying tonight? lol!" It works great for them and they will literally never change it!

I know you are not asking me to answer, but I can clarify. We do a percentage, 60% in the shared account for bills, 40% to our own accounts. He makes more so more goes into the bills and the personal for him. I don't buy everything for the household, he buys most of the groceries and household items when we shop on the weekend. If I can throw in something the kids need when we are shopping, I do. DH pays almost all the time when we go out to dinner or do a family thing. I just feel like he doesn't always understand how much it costs to pick up all of the little things. It adds up.

By the way, we decided on separate accounts because of DH's child support and all of the money that he gives to SD's for things.

Flamingemu · June 2014

mrssqueegy said:

Holly_1007 said:

At what age is a bikini no longer acceptable?

I think a tasteful bikini is acceptable at any age.

My FFFC - I do not agree with this - I think bikinis should be left to teenagers.

kdsmith43 · June 2014

Holly_1007 said:
At what age is a bikini no longer acceptable?

I say if you feel comfortable in it, go for it!

watercolor5 · June 2014

I doubt that I"ll ever wear a bikini again. Babies did bad things to the belly, I just don't think I have it in me to "own it" anymore.

kelbel527 · June 2014

BeebopandBuddy said:

mrssqueegy said:

BeebopandBuddy said:

FFFC: I just charged a beach chair for Ethan to DH's credit card without asking. It's on file with Amazon, so it's not like I stole it, but I'm tired of paying for every single thing for the kids just because I'm the one who puts the effort into shopping and finding the deal.

We have an account for bills and each have a separate spending account. I bet 90% of my money each paycheck goes to buying stuff for the kids. He does buy the groceries every weekend, but he never thinks to ask if I need money for their clothes, diapers, toys, haircuts or anything else that I do for them so I pay for. I've said something and he says just ask. I don't want to feel like I'm begging for money, so I guess this is my way of "asking".

This is exactly why I have never understood separate accounts. If you are adamant about having your own account, you need have a joint account for family expenses. This is just silly to be "stealing" from your spouse.

He was adamant about having his own account, not me. It would be good to have another joint account for family expenses though.

I would create another account. It's not fair that you're paying for kid stuff and he isn't.

Add me to the group that would really struggle with separate accounts. 95% of the time we go out, DH "pays" because I am getting the kids cleaned up or he just naturally does it faster. We have joint accounts though, it would be weird for me to think about who's account it was coming out of.

kelbel527 · June 2014

hmp1 said:

So for two years my boss has been talking about putting a team under me. I have managed people for years but it has been a nice break to be on my own. My boss just called to go over some stuff and it looks like by the end of summer, I will have to take on a team. The good news is it will mean more paid trips to TX and my boss is going to try to push it through as a promotion. The bad news is all the crap that goes along with managing people and I've never managed while working from home (my managers and associates will all work in the office). I am taking over for a person that works from home out of state already so at least that part won't change for them. I hate that I feel like I have no choice in this. Like if I say no then my name will be added to the chopping block for sure (we have been letting people go like crazy).

I actually think the managing people is the best part of my job. But it would be hard to do remotely. At they're already used to it and won't have to adjust to it.

Congrats on the promotion though! I agree that you take it and at least give it a shot. Maybe it will turn out better than you think.

hmp1 · June 2014

watercolor5 said:

Every room in my house is painted the same color. It was built in 2011, and we just bought it and moved in in Jan, so I guess the previous owners decided they wanted to move before they got around to painting it.

The problem is, the color is really inoffensive because it's the color the builder went with... sort of a sandy beige that sets off the white architectural details nicely. Because I don't hate it, I may take years to paint over it. We're going to look like we "just moved in" forever.

I love neutral walls. All my walls are either white or light beige. I love white/light walls. I think it makes the space feel clean and fresh.

Holly_1007 · June 2014

kdsmith43 said:

At what age is a bikini no longer acceptable?
I say if you feel comfortable in it, go for it!

I feel like I *should* be comfortable in a bikini! but I'm not. I don't really know how to explain it without offending someone haha

kelbel527 · June 2014

Holly_1007 said:

kdsmith43 said:

At what age is a bikini no longer acceptable?
I say if you feel comfortable in it, go for it!

I feel like I *should* be comfortable in a bikini! but I'm not. I don't really know how to explain it without offending someone haha

I will probably never wear a bikini again because my children left me with ugly stretch marks. But that's my own thing (in that I'm self conscious).

I think any woman at any age can wear a tasteful bikini. If you're not comfortable in it though, don't force it, there's no reason to make yourself more uncomfortable in a swimsuit.

hmp1 · June 2014

kelbel527 said:

hmp1 said:

So for two years my boss has been talking about putting a team under me. I have managed people for years but it has been a nice break to be on my own. My boss just called to go over some stuff and it looks like by the end of summer, I will have to take on a team. The good news is it will mean more paid trips to TX and my boss is going to try to push it through as a promotion. The bad news is all the crap that goes along with managing people and I've never managed while working from home (my managers and associates will all work in the office). I am taking over for a person that works from home out of state already so at least that part won't change for them. I hate that I feel like I have no choice in this. Like if I say no then my name will be added to the chopping block for sure (we have been letting people go like crazy).

I actually think the managing people is the best part of my job. But it would be hard to do remotely. At they're already used to it and won't have to adjust to it.

Congrats on the promotion though! I agree that you take it and at least give it a shot. Maybe it will turn out better than you think.

I don't enjoy the paperwork of it all - mid year and year end reviews, approving expense reports, making sure everyone completes the required training courses timely (being a bank we have a ton of these), synchronizing vacation requests especially during the holidays...

Holly_1007 · June 2014

I wish I went with more neutral colors when we painted our house. When I made keagans big boy room I painted the walls white with a red accent stripe. I love them.

Pokedot · June 2014

I've never owned a bikini therefore I've never worn one. I carry my weight in my stomach and thighs. I would never feel remotely comfortable in a bikini.

melody921 · June 2014

LoisLayn23 said:

I'm itching for some retail therapy but I know I can't. It's killing me just a little.

I spend way too much online. I know it's bad, but then I also know things like, "DD needs this swimsuit" or "Ooooh, sale shoes!"

redneckmomma25 · June 2014

I have never worn a bikini. I've never been small enough. I don't think I ever would wear one. I don't think I will let my teenagers wear them. Maybe that's a fffc. I'm not going to make them wear a wholesome wear suite but I just don't think I can let them wear bikinis. I reserve the right to change my opinion in the next 13 years but I dunno.

Here's a good post of the topic of bathing suite bodies. It is from a Christian perspective but it has lots of good points.

https://www.incourage.me/2014/06/you-are-more-than-your-swimsuit.html

watercolor5 · June 2014

mrssqueegy said:

watercolor5 said:

Every room in my house is painted the same color. It was built in 2011, and we just bought it and moved in in Jan, so I guess the previous owners decided they wanted to move before they got around to painting it.

The problem is, the color is really inoffensive because it's the color the builder went with... sort of a sandy beige that sets off the white architectural details nicely. Because I don't hate it, I may take years to paint over it. We're going to look like we "just moved in" forever.

Why do you think it looks like you just moved in? Our whole main floor and upstairs is the same medium beige colour. I love it. It was like this when we moved in. I have no desire to have different colours in each room.

I guess it's a combination of the fact that I'm so slow to get pictures on the walls (so far I've just propped a few pics of the kids on the fireplace mantel, and the fact that every time friends/family see the house for the first time, they automatically offer to help us paint (when I've made no mention of painting soon.) It makes me feel better that you prefer the neutral wall though!

I would like to eventually get a different color in each of the kid rooms and probably the bathrooms at least, but I'll probably leave most of the downstairs pretty neutral as it's all open concept and I get confused where I'd stop the paint from one room to the next if they weren't the same color.

melody921 · June 2014

redneckmomma25 said:

I have never worn a bikini. I've never been small enough. I don't think I ever would wear one. I don't think I will let my teenagers wear them. Maybe that's a fffc. I'm not going to make them wear a wholesome wear suite but I just don't think I can let them wear bikinis. I reserve the right to change my opinion in the next 13 years but I dunno. Here's a good post of the topic of bathing suite bodies. It is from a Christian perspective but it has lots of good points. https://www.incourage.me/2014/06/you-are-more-than-your-swimsuit.html

I read this as be proud of the body God gave you and the fact that you're using it to live, rather than a modesty thing. Or are these two unrelated things?

watercolor5 · June 2014

Our photographer said she'd get my sneak peek pictures up in two days. Or a couple days. That was Mon. and I'm DYING to see them but they aren't up yet. I wish she hadn't given me that expectation, because I never would have thought we'd see anything that soon anyway, but now I can't stop checking the site.

BPer · June 2014

melody921 said:

BPer said:

I think that I have a coworker worse than shitty cookies.

Do tell @BPer! Shitty cookies never fails to entertain me, so this should be good.

This may get long, to properly express the true extent of his weirdness. He will henceforth be referred to as "cronut guy".

So he's always been weird, but I feel like it's getting worse.

He traveled to NYC 2 weeks ago for a day-long conference, took the bus down and back (4 hours each way). He calls me into his office the following morning, saying that he has a "treat" for me. He asks me if I've ever had a cronut (croissaint/doughnut hybrid). He then proceeds to pull a cronut from an oversized cooler/lunch box that he brought on the bus with him, and cut it into 5 pieces (one for everyone in the office), essentially giving each of us half of a bite, of a day-old cronut that had been flattened and turned into a hockey puck in his weird cooler.

Later that day, he offers me his yogurt, because he "didn't get around to eating it". Yogurt isn't terribly time-consuming, and is typically good for longer than 24 hours. I politely declined. The next day, he's eating a yogurt, and is telling me about how watery it is, because it had sat out on his desk the whole day before. That was the yogurt he had offered me, watery yogurt that sat out on his desk all day. I'm still full from the morsel of cronut that I had to eat as to not appear rude, but thanks, pal.

There are far more heinous, annoying offenses as of late, but these two really just made me go, WTF?

...totally THT'd that.

BPer · June 2014

kdsmith43 said:

At what age is a bikini no longer acceptable?
I say if you feel comfortable in it, go for it!

I wore a bikini 7+ months pregnant in Florida last month. And not a maternity one.

redneckmomma25 · June 2014

melody921 said:

redneckmomma25 said:

I have never worn a bikini. I've never been small enough. I don't think I ever would wear one. I don't think I will let my teenagers wear them. Maybe that's a fffc. I'm not going to make them wear a wholesome wear suite but I just don't think I can let them wear bikinis. I reserve the right to change my opinion in the next 13 years but I dunno.

Here's a good post of the topic of bathing suite bodies. It is from a Christian perspective but it has lots of good points.

https://www.incourage.me/2014/06/you-are-more-than-your-swimsuit.html

I read this as be proud of the body God gave you and the fact that you're using it to live, rather than a modesty thing. Or are these two unrelated things?

Two different things. It was for those struggling with their post baby body.

BeebopandBuddy · June 2014

I struggle wearing a bikini in public even though I know, deep down, that I look acceptable. I think it has more to do with me comparing my current body to my pre-baby body than anything else. I thought I looked great in it before, my body is different now, so how can I also look great in it now?

It's all in my head.

hmp1 · June 2014

I grew swimming on a team and wore Speedo style bikinis for working out in the summer and so those were also my play suits. There was nothing sexual about it regardless of being 8 or 18. I mean the guys were wearing smaller suits than us. You can wear a two piece without your boobs hanging out (not that I have ever had any cleavage to worry about).

melody921 · June 2014

mrssqueegy said:

dimples12 said:

Holly_1007 said:

mrssqueegy said:

Holly_1007 said:

At what age is a bikini no longer acceptable?

I think a tasteful bikini is acceptable at any age.

really? I'm seriously struggling wearing one in public.

okay, so my BFF is gorgeous. Size 4, fit, big boobs and looks 28. But I think she is too old for that stuff. She rocks it, no doubt, but it strikes me as odd. Maybe that is just my jealousy. You know, because I am almost 28 and do not look in anything but a very modest two piece. Okay, fine, I will work out post-baby.

I just don't see that as odd at all. Haven't you people been to the beach? There are ladies of all ages in bikinis looking fabulous. Why would everyone over a certain age need to wear a one piece? I just don't get this at all. It's like telling everyone over the age of 30 you can't wear a sleeveless top. If you wear a tasteful sleeveless top, you can wear it at any age.

I'm wearing a sleeveless top right now. And I'm over 30. :-h

hmp1 · June 2014

mrssqueegy said:

hmp1 said:

I grew swimming on a team and wore Speedo style bikinis for working out in the summer and so those were also my play suits. There was nothing sexual about it regardless of being 8 or 18. I mean the guys were wearing smaller suits than us. You can wear a two piece without your boobs hanging out (not that I have ever had any cleavage to worry about).

There is no way I could have worn a two piece of any kind as a teenager without some major cleavage. For me it's not just about the boobs though. I think I would prefer that my daughters have their stomachs covered.

My stomach also showed in my cheer outfit.

bosha711 · June 2014

hmp1 said:

watercolor5 said:

Every room in my house is painted the same color. It was built in 2011, and we just bought it and moved in in Jan, so I guess the previous owners decided they wanted to move before they got around to painting it.

The problem is, the color is really inoffensive because it's the color the builder went with... sort of a sandy beige that sets off the white architectural details nicely. Because I don't hate it, I may take years to paint over it. We're going to look like we "just moved in" forever.

I love neutral walls. All my walls are either white or light beige. I love white/light walls. I think it makes the space feel clean and fresh.

------

Mh& I argued over paint colors when we moved into our house. He loves bright colors & I like neutrals. He won out for the most part & I pretty much hate our living room & dining room colors.

He honestly wanted a color called "macaroni & cheese" for the dining room.

Hyaline · June 2014

Holly_1007 said:

mrssqueegy said:

Holly_1007 said:

At what age is a bikini no longer acceptable?

I think a tasteful bikini is acceptable at any age.

really? I'm seriously struggling wearing one in public.

***

Define "bikini." Two piece? Those can look awesome at any age. Itsy triangle top string get-up? Yeah, kind of tacky over the spring-break age.

Hyaline · June 2014

BeebopandBuddy said:

FFFC: I just charged a beach chair for Ethan to DH's credit card without asking. It's on file with Amazon, so it's not like I stole it, but I'm tired of paying for every single thing for the kids just because I'm the one who puts the effort into shopping and finding the deal.

We have an account for bills and each have a separate spending account. I bet 90% of my money each paycheck goes to buying stuff for the kids. He does buy the groceries every weekend, but he never thinks to ask if I need money for their clothes, diapers, toys, haircuts or anything else that I do for them so I pay for. I've said something and he says just ask. I don't want to feel like I'm begging for money, so I guess this is my way of "asking".

***

Totes not my business, but maybe you could reconsider what the account for "bills" is for and up the amount you keep in there so you can cover all family expenses out of it--kids' clothes, diapers, toiletries, and groceries included. I feel like being responsible for household expenses out of personal accounts just sets you up for resentful feelings.

FWIW we have a joint account for all household stuff and then "pay" ourselves each a stipend out of that each month to with what we'd like. Sometimes, yeah, I do buy extra stuff for DD out of that (because it's my fun money) and sometimes DH will pick up the tab for dinner out out of his. But I like that neither one of us has to buy necessary items out of our personal account, because I'm sure we'd start comparing and get crabby when it didn't even out perfectly. Because it never does, lol.

Hyaline · June 2014

We were planning on going out to eat tonight, and DH went out for lunch to some shady BBQ place with his coworkers. He's now complaining that his tummy feels ucky. Sonofabitch, really? I lose out on my favorite Mexican place and a margarita tonight because you eat something that falls in the same "don't eat that if you don't want e-coli" category as gas station sushi? Annoyed that he went out for lunch instead of brown bagging, too, *knowing* we were eating out tonight.

MommaP12 · June 2014

I wore a bikini once in high school and never have since and never will. No matter how thin I get, I'm a short wasted apple so my middle is never in a position to be exposed!

The separate account thing is weird to me too but I get that it works for a lot of couples. Throughout DH and my relationship, we have flip/flopped on who makes more so we've just consistently had all joint accounts. I could see it being very beneficial though in situations where there is alimony or child support payments coming from one spouse.

@Holly_1007 I really give you props for handling and dealing with all you've got going on within your marriage, your SD/BM and having 2 boys under 5 at your age. I think I'm almost, if not 10 years older than you and I don't think I could have handled what you deal with when I was your age. That is really sweet of you to have found this tickets for SD, she is lucky to have you as part of her life. I hope you have a great time and get that day in bed with bonbons for your birthday.

hmp1 · June 2014

I think the separate works well for us mainly because we lived together for 9 years before getting married, and bought a house together 2 years before getting married. We were already used to living with our different accounts but sharing bills. When the kids came, he took on the daycare payments and I took on the stuff payments. We have changed who pays for what over the years as things change but we have never once fought about money or been annoyed with the other not pitching in enough. We have never made significantly different salaries either. He gets a lot more in bonuses throughout the year than me, but that goes into savings.

tinyhumantoe · June 2014

Combining all of our shit after W was born made life so much easier. We had a bazillion accounts before.

The only bad thing is that DH hawks my purchases. He is his father.... does the whole grumpy husband because wife spent money routine. He gets bent out of shape when I buy toilet paper and we still have two rolls. It's a consumable dude, get over it, we will use it.

I can't count on one hand how many times he hasn't 'let' me buy "x" when we're at the grocery because we don't need it yet, and I get home and there is one square of toilet paper left on the roll. Or two wet wipes. Or four diapers. Paper towels, too. ::EYE ROLL::

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