- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Parenting
*Update* Is this "normal" or concerning? **Trigger warning**
***Update - I also consulted with my cousin who is an RN in a pediatrics office and she called for me and CPS will investigate. I haven't heard anything from my friend yet and not sure if I will. And yes, I was gone/busy all day with Father's Day plans and such which is why I didn't update until now.***
My friend has a son and daughter around the age of my DS and DD (her son is almost 6, daughter is 2.5). We had a joint rummage sale at her house and the kids were inside watching a movie. I went in for one of the frequent check-ins, and her daughter was laying across her son's lap and he was sticking his finger in her butt crack (clothed at least) and rubbing it back and forth. I said "what are you doing?" and told him that was not appropriate. My son said he was also rubbing her butt and spanking her.
So I went out and told my friend. I was like "so I walked in and _______(her DD) was on top of_________(her DS)..." And then she cut me off and said "was he humping her?" I said no and explained what I saw. Almost even more concerning than the behavior was her response. She said that he is very "sensual" and tries to hump her daughter and other girls. She said her husbands thoughts are kind of that "boys will be boys" and she said, "at least he only does it to girls". I kind of made light of my horror and just said, "yeah, just tell him if he needs to hump something, do it to his stuffed animals in the privacy of his own room."
WTF? He is not a dog, he's a kid. My son has never tried to hump or do anything inappropriate to DD or other girls that I am aware of. I know kids can start exploring their own sexuality at a young age, and I definitely don't think they should be shamed about it. However, they need to be taught what is socially appropriate. I have told my son before, and I just reminded him again that it's okay for him to touch himself in private, but not to touch others, let others touch him, or let others see him touching him self. I questioned him about what his friend was doing, and he totally understood it was inappropriate.
Am I jumping too far ahead of myself in thinking this could lead to him sexually abusing their daughter if they don't deal with it more seriously?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: *Update* Is this "normal" or concerning? **Trigger warning**
I wouldn't talk to her. Her response is off.
I'd call CPS.
Was the younger sister wearing a diaper or undies when he was rubbing her?
Harry Styles = Life Ruiner
There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
Without you I'll never make it out alive
But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing
When/if your friend comes to you I would be supportive but ask questions-what does his dad think, how often does this happen, etc. Is the boy in school or pre-k? Is he having issues there?
If my friend came to me with what you did, after going inside to break it up, I would be taking them BOTH to a pedi for a check up and not leaving them alone together or with anyone else. The fact that your friend didn't bat an eyelash is very, very concerning. She may also be being manipulated. Please help those kids and call.
Harry Styles = Life Ruiner
There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
Without you I'll never make it out alive
But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing
My son does "spank" people, like his dad, but doesn't know what a spanking actually his, just butt pats. I hope something got lost in translation but I'd rather be safe than sorry.
Harry Styles = Life Ruiner
There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
Without you I'll never make it out alive
But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing
Harry Styles = Life Ruiner
There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
Without you I'll never make it out alive
But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing
Harry Styles = Life Ruiner
There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
Without you I'll never make it out alive
But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing
As for upsetting your friend, if I were in your shoes I would be breaking contact with the family all together anyway. I wouldn't leave anything to chance. Not when it comes to protecting my child.
Call CPS and keep your kids away/under strict supervision from this boy.
2 years, 2 surgeries, 2 clomid fails, 2 IUIs, 1 loss, IVF #1 - 10/25/10 = BFP!, DS is now 3.5yrs!
TTC #2 - 6/12 surgery #3, FET #1 & 1.2 = BFN, 12/2012 FET #2 = BFP! DD is 1.5 yrs!
Surprise! 12/16/14 BFP, loss #2 12/31/14
I can't wait for the "im getting a divorce" post in 5 years or so because your husbands were fed up with your disgusting chair asses from playing on the knot all day and getting fired 4-5 times for not doing any work. you guys are all winners!! ~ Laur929
I also wouldn't dump the friendship right away either. If there is abuse, the mom might be totally ignorant of the fact and might need your friendship when everything comes to light. However, I would hesitate to have playgroups until the little boy gets the help he needs. Hugs lady.