Waiting room talk

Justone13 · June 2014

Just wondering but do any of you talk to other women in the waiting room? Even say hi? It's so quiet and boring waiting why not just simple greetings? I feel like I get the stink eye from these other checks when I say anything to them. Oh and do you all make your OH go to all the monitoring appts? I go by myself. Just wondering

pblge · June 2014

Oh, God, no! There's no talking in the waiting room! ;-) I'd give some who tried the stink eye, too, although I'm not sure why.

OH comes to the big ones when we're both in town. He was coming to all for a while, but that seemed silly.

vpine · June 2014

No talk in waiting room, not even when I go to regular Drs, just everyone reads magazines or texting on phones. My husband only went to actual IUI and IVF/FET.

tptbabe · June 2014

There's always chatter in the waiting room at our clinic! Not in the main lobby, but in the waiting area for ultrasound

Depending on who's waiting that day, it can range from where the cheapest parking is, to making jokes about the vag cam, or about what treatments everybody is doing. People are usually on their phones, but I don't own one, so I usually look for somebody else without one and strike up a conversation. Also, I can usually pick out the "newbies" and try to reassure them that it might be scary, but that they can get through it!

I'm kind of a chatterbox. Nobody's ever given me the stink eye either

AMShark · June 2014

I think talking to the other IFs is strictly verboten in my RE's waiting room too. I've occasionally made the mistake of attempt at exchange pleasantries, and it landed me in stink eye city.

That's not to say that I haven't fired off a stink eye or two of my own if I've been in a bad mood, so I'll give all of the ladies a pass because of the hormone supplements and the early hour.

My DH hops an early bus to the city every morning, so he only comes along when needed. (For my IUI's he "produced" in a cup from the clinic at home on the morning of the procedure - btw, if you want to avoid the biggest embarrassment of your life, make super sure that lid is on tight before you go out the door, but that's a story for another thread). He's been there for any procedure where I'm not allowed to drive, so far.
If he's not actually needed, my DH is content to get a phone update from me later in the day. I think we both prefer this, and it just doesn't seem practical to bring him along every time.

tptbabe · June 2014

Oh yeah, I forgot! DH has been there for all actual appointments with the RE, but no monitoring. He's been there for ER and ET, but no IUIs. He was freaked out enough by them putting my kitty on display during ER/ET, so I can't imagine him having to be there every day for monitoring too.,

scooteriste · June 2014

No one talks in the waiting room at my RE. The one time the code of silence was broken was when someone I knew recognized me and said my hi to me after I was called in for u/s. I turned to her and in my typical early morning stupor didn't remember her name so I said "Uhhhhhh. Hey... there!" And shuffled away. Mid follicle count, I remembered her name so when I went back out I gave her a proper greeting and wished her good luck.

DH comes to all appointments with the RE, all procedures and the blood draw for beta. Normal monitoring is early and there's really no reason for him to come.

ExoticAntibiotic · June 2014

I tried really hard to make conversation in my RE's waiting room for the first 6 months, but no dice. There have even been times where I've chatted with a lady on the elevator up but the second we hit the lobby, she shuts up and walks away. Sigh! If there are any SGF ladies out there, talk to me, okay?

My husband goes with me to every appointment where I need to be driven home and to random monitoring appointments when he feels like going to breakfast afterwords.

runawaylaurel · June 2014

I go by myself except weekend appointments and the ER/ET. One injects cycle I had like 19 appointments, so it would have been crazy for him to come to all those. As for the waiting room chatter- nope! My main office is so, so quiet, everyone just watched the news and plays on their phones. It is weird. @ExoticAntibiotic- I'm a SG girl too!

Justone13 · June 2014

I just thought wow all of us are going through hell and here we are we don't even smile at each other. There was a new lady in the office this morning and I could tell she wasn't comfortable. I did just a little chit chat and wished her GL with her cycle. She seemed relieved when I started talking to her. I'm not saying I'm trying to find a new BFF lol just maybe not get the stink eye all the time. My DH only goes to the er and et. Seems like a waste to me to go for all monitoring appts.

@AMShark‌ omg would I be embarrassed!! Thankfully dh's has frozen boys at the clinic

Justone13 · June 2014

@ExoticAntibiotic‌ and @runawaylaurel‌ I'm a SGF girl too!!! You girls weren't the ones giving me the stink eye this am where you?? Lol jk!!

Twinkie0612 · June 2014

No chatting in the waiting room at my clinic. The only time I have chatted with other ladies is during my Intralipid infusions (it takes a few hours, so yeah there's plenty of time to chat) and once while waiting for a blood draw (our blood work was on standing orders at a local hospital).

Twinkie0612 · June 2014

Oh, I also do monitoring appointments by myself.

Justone13 · June 2014

@HollowBerry‌ Yes I've had appts like that too where I practicality ran to my car. Whatever idiot thought it would be a great idea to put an obgyn NEXT to my clinic deserves a throat punch. Nothing like riding the elevator with a 8 month pregnant lady then shuffling off in the "other" direction. I know no one wants to be there and it just plain sucks all the way around but we are all going through it together. Sigh. Guess I'll stick to checking updates on the bump while waiting!! Lol

ronniesgirl1981 · June 2014

My husband comes with me when he can. Otherwise I get home and try to explain what happened and fail miserably. If it's a weekday, I go alone. And I've never spoken to anyone at my clinic. EVER. I think that I would be more inclined now that I have a little more experience under my belt. There was a day last cycle when I waited for my blood draw while I cried my eyes out and no one said a word to me. Truthfully an attempt to make me talk would have made me cry harder, but maybe an unspoken gesture would have been better. The only women who I've seen talking were two women who were apparently very difficult to stick. Both were waiting for someone who is supposed to be really good at hard cases. I had the impression that it wasn't the first time they've waited together.

Justone13 · June 2014

@ronniesgirl1981‌ If I would have seen a woman crying in the waiting room I would have hugged her instantly. Or given her tissues. That's rough. I'm not good at explaining it to my DH either. He normally just asks how I feel and when the er and et will be. I'm ok with they tho.

@Hoping4LO‌ Yep I tend to see more on the weekend. GL at your appt this am!!

ebliss444 · June 2014

Ha! This made me grin. I am usually one of those people who just walks in and stares into space, not acknowledging anyone except the girls in the front desk. I'm a friendly person by nature though, so you've inspired me to at least smile at people next time!

I usually go in alone unless my husband needs to be there, but I think for my next US I'll bring him with me.

The last time I was there, I swear it was Egg Donor Day, because everyone in there looked 20 and pretty chipper.

Justone13 · June 2014

@ebliss444‌ you just made me lol with the donor egg day. Ha!!!

sweetsurrender9 · June 2014

My waiting room is like a mausoleum. People only talk to their DH/SO/support person, and even then, it's super hushed.

DH has come to all of my monitoring appointments, but they've all been before work and we ride to work together. He just waits in the waiting room, though.

alpCRNA · June 2014

When I have gone to the RE the waiting room has been silent. DH has not been to my appointments so far, but we have not actually started the IVF yet. Our office is two hours away, so I think he is only going to go for the egg retrieval and embryo transfer.

Justone13 · June 2014

@alpCRNA‌ I'm gathering this is pretty normal now and I don't just have a really snooty bunch of women in the office. Lol. I guess it's all what's easy for the couple if the OH comes or not. GL as you start down the ivf path hopefully it's a quick one for ya!

penad5 · June 2014

I always felt the same way - wondering why is was soo quiet, but in my RE's office you don't wait very long most of the time so that could be why people don't tend to start talking - not enough time for someone to work up the nerve to break the ice

DH only comes when he has to - he wasn't even there for our FET as he was away with work. He came to a weekend monitoring appointment so i didn't have to drive alone - but it didn't make sense for both of us to take time on work

Justone13 · June 2014

@penad5‌ I wish I didn't have to wait that long!! Lol. I feel like that's all I do is wait!

Sha259 · June 2014

I don't talk to anyone in the REs office. Not so much because I don't want to, but usually I am not there long enough! Our office is very efficient, and wait time is typically no more than 5-10 mins for monitoring appts. I haven't had to have a normal office visit in a while either. Also, most times I am there very early AM, and no one else is there, so I have talked to the receptionistin those occasions.

DH has NEVER been to an appt with me, for anything. Most of last year I was going because of my surgeries (he didn't go for those). Now that we are doing IVF, he doesn't go for those either. He went for collection for our IUIs, and will have to come with me for ER, as he will have to do collection that day, and is my ride home. But we have never been at the office at the same time.

I don't really see the need for it. I'm the one jacked up on meds, so as long as I know what I'm taking, and where he needs to be and when, we are set! He is going in to get the pep talk for my IM trigger this cycle, and I think I will go for that one, because I don't trust him to ask the right questions, and I don't want him sticking me uninformed.

violetmarie61516 · June 2014

The first clinic I went to had a silent waiting room. The second clinic was a VERY different atmosphere, the RE has it set up like a spa waiting area so it's very inviting and there is conversation between patient's while waiting. I love that one btw. This current one, is quiet like the first.

DH goes to some of my monitoring, mostly just the big ones that will determine what's next.

alpCRNA · June 2014

Thank you. We have known IVF was coming for quite a while, but I'm getting anxious now that its so close. Good luck to you as well.

Justone13 · June 2014

@Love4Labs326‌ I'm putting that in the suggestion box. I want a spa fertility clinic!!! Nice back rub before getting violated would make me feel better!! Lol

CML11 · June 2014

No chatter at my RE, just a smile or two. Haven't gotten the stink eye yet, but I haven't tried to spark up a conversation. It's a big waiting room and I sit away from other people so they won't try and talk to me.
My DH only went for the initial appointment, he really didn't want to be there for the tests/IUIs. He will come for the ones later if I ever got a BFP.

violetmarie61516 · June 2014

@justone13 It is pretty nice!! lol

chucktgirl · June 2014

This thread made me laugh because I've thought the same things! In the beginning, I used to think it was creepy, how quiet it was. It was like striking a nerve any time I'd catch eyes with someone else. The only time I had a conversation in the waiting room was once, after my very first injection class, with another girl in the class. After that, nothing. Now, particularly with my current RE, I have to get up SO early with NO sleep, I don't want anyone talking to me or even looking at me. It's too early in the morning, and I'm too far gone with infertility. Chit chat is not going to make me feel better at this point. The only people I give the stink eye to are the people who bring their babies and kids to their appointments. There's this one tiny, skinny, attractive Mom who always brings her 2 1/2 year old with her. God I hate her.

I no longer bring DH to any appointment other than initial visit, ER, & ET. The rest would be a waste of his time. Although, I did make him get up with me at 5:45AM this past Sunday morning to go with me to my appointment- just to make him feel the torture and inconvenience of these almost daily trips to the RE!

AMShark · June 2014

chucktgirl said:

... The only people I give the stink eye to are the people who bring their babies and kids to their appointments. There's this one tiny, skinny, attractive Mom who always brings her 2 1/2 year old with her. God I hate her.

This makes me feel better.

I usually feel torn when I see babies in the waiting room. I know you can't always make arrangements to not bring your children, but some woman *always* bring their babies, and rather than making me hopeful, I just find it depressing (or annoying, depending on my mood).

I'm glad I'm not the only one.

Justone13 · June 2014

@chucktgirl‌ and @AMShark‌ that would set me off if they brought their kid in. I've only seen one child in the clinic and she had Down syndrome very sweet child so I couldn't be mad at that. Plus the nurse ushered her into a conference room away from everyone. But that is pretty damn inconsiderate.

scooteriste · June 2014

The worst was when a woman rushed in to the waiting room with her child close to the end of monitoring hours. She then asked me and two other women (who had been waiting for a while) if she could go ahead of us because her kid was late for school. The other two girls were dumbfounded so I spoke up. I said "I've been fasting for 15 hours so if you can beat that, go right ahead". The nurse called me right after that and I went in. What a jerk.

Justone13 · June 2014

@scooteriste‌ Baha!!! I can only imagine the look on that ladies face. Priceless!!

Justone13 · June 2014

@scooteriste‌ Baha!!! I can only imagine the look on that ladies face. Priceless!!

pblge · June 2014

@scooteriste - that's pretty nervy!

Another reason I've liked my new RE: kids are not allowed in the waiting room. There's a sign on the check in desk asking people to make other arrangements. There were kids in the old RE's waiting room all the time, and I couldn't believe the mother's didn't realize how awful that was.

AMShark · June 2014

@pblge - That's a great policy. I wish it was in place at my RE's waiting room.

@Justone13 - I have to give kudos to you for starting this thread. I find it fascinating to hear the little differences in all of our waiting room experiences - and I find it comforting to hear of all the similarities.

I'm pretty much in love with this thread.

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because I can't spell usernames

Justone13 · June 2014

@AMShark‌ Thanks!! You are right about that! Every place is so different. Some def sound better than others. I'm still liking the spa idea ;;)

Justone13 · June 2014

Guess I spoke too soon on the kid area. As I was walking out of the sono room I see a very petite blonde woman with 2 little blonde kids leaving. Smh ok well that's great you have just reminded me that you have TWO kids and I still have NONE! That just irritated the sh!t out of me. Shouldn't this chick just be happy with what she has?? Dammit to hell.

RunCC37 · June 2014

I'm just a chatty person, so I'm usually the one striking up the conversation! And to answer your question, DH never comes for monitoring.

Justone13 · June 2014

@Hoping4LO‌ I'm glad they did. It really does make you feel like crap! I said before that there is an obgyn on the same floor so 70% of the time I'm riding an elevator with a prego.

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