Is this in good taste?

Maggie6424 · June 2014

I don't think you should have to entice people to buy you something by offering a gift card. A shower is for gift giving. I would note on the invitation something like "Please keep in mind that we will be cloth diapering." That prevents them from buying you disposables. And mention where you're registered at.

MuffinMom14 · June 2014

kfitzguerra said:

Not to steal OP's thread, but I'm curious to know if people who are against the diaper raffle are also against the idea of bringing a book along (optional) for the baby?

From what I understand, yes, most of the board is also against that.

That said, I might put on my registry card insert that if they would like to bring a book instead of card to start the baby's library they can. I just hate cards and want to build a great library for this little girl. I loved books so much. If I get some, awesome. If not, I have about 50 from my childhood.

It's the hitting over the head with cutesy saying and poems and TELILNG PEOPLE to bring a book that crosses the line, I think. But if a registry is just a suggestion, I figure I can maybe throw one line on there about the book with the registry.

Someone stop me if it's a bad idea. I was discussing it with my mom and she liked the idea (she's throwing the shower--but I'm a designer, so I'm doing the invitations, because I can't let that go). But I want someone neutral to weigh-in.

And thanks for the feedback on diapers. I'll just put like 10 packs of each size on there and see what happens.

MuffinMom14 · June 2014

Nicb13 said:

SPurp13 said:

So, my family (in-laws and birth family) do not do diaper raffles, because they think it's tacky. I guess I do, too, so it doesn't matter--I won't be having one.

However, can I put diapers on my Target registry?

The thing is, I don't want little frilly dresses. I want things I NEED. And I realize I probably won't get much off of my registry because people like to buy baby clothes, but. I don't need baby clothes. I have three people giving me ALL of their little girl clothes.

I guess I'm just praying for people to leave on tags and give me receipts so I can return and buy things I actually need for the baby. That sounds ungrateful, but I'm not looking forward to this shower anyway, it's my mom's rodeo.

Exactly. I had an insane amount of people at my shower and I was surprised at how little was purchased off my registry, or, people got different version of what I asked for (totally different baby shampoo or a bath tub that I didn't register for, etc).
Try to not see it so negatively. People care and want to buy stuff for your baby. That's a good thing!

I know they care. I REALLY do. So, should I feel guilty returning things if I can? I NEED crib sheets and things. I don't need 365 days of dresses. I just won't USE the dresses!

At my wedding shower I got a TON of money and gift cards. I'm almost hoping for that rather than things ompletely off of the registry. I know this all sounds bratty. I'm just REALLY nervous about affording everything we need for the baby but having a ton if $30 dresses.

And I think girls are worse. People LOOOOOVE little ruffles. I guess I do, too, but I did put all gender neutral clothes on the registry (just a few items) so maybe people will get the hint, but at the same time, I might take ALL clothes off for the reasons above.

I wish I would have been team green--BUT. Dude. Before we knew it was a girl, we kinda looked around, and buying gender neutral things is REALLY difficult in stores now. Children's Place had NOTHING gender. Not a plain blue or plain green or anything. It was all TRUCKS or TUTUS.

toomanycats1 · June 2014

SPurp13 said:

kfitzguerra said:

Not to steal OP's thread, but I'm curious to know if people who are against the diaper raffle are also against the idea of bringing a book along (optional) for the baby?

From what I understand, yes, most of the board is also against that.

That said, I might put on my registry card insert that if they would like to bring a book instead of card to start the baby's library they can. I just hate cards and want to build a great library for this little girl. I loved books so much. If I get some, awesome. If not, I have about 50 from my childhood.

It's the hitting over the head with cutesy saying and poems and TELILNG PEOPLE to bring a book that crosses the line, I think. But if a registry is just a suggestion, I figure I can maybe throw one line on there about the book with the registry.

Someone stop me if it's a bad idea. I was discussing it with my mom and she liked the idea (she's throwing the shower--but I'm a designer, so I'm doing the invitations, because I can't let that go). But I want someone neutral to weigh-in.

And thanks for the feedback on diapers. I'll just put like 10 packs of each size on there and see what happens.

Sorry Luv, but I still wouldn't do it. I know you would probably rather have a book than a card, but I think any "guidance" in terms of gift giving is just micro-managing. It does seem ungrateful, and would still rub me the wrong way. Instead, you have have your mom spread the idea via word of mouth?

Showers are supposed to be fun. I know you want to get things you "need" and not just $30 outfits, but someone still took the time to get excited for you and pick out that outfit because they wanted your baby to have it. If everyone only brought the necessities to showers (baby shampoo, lotion, crib sheets, etc) showers would be pretty darn boring.

I know you're worried about how you'll afford everything, but you will find a way to buy the things you need... you'll need to, because a shower happens once, and babies last a lifetime!

NavyFlyer · June 2014

Simple answer for diaper raffle, AND book thing, or anything similar.

Giving it a cute name doesnt mask what is really going on, which is "bring me an additional present, and something that I specify"

Never OK. ANY reference to a gift other than listing where you are registered is not ok.

MuffinMom14 · June 2014

HelloSweetie1 said:

SPurp13 said:

kfitzguerra said:

Not to steal OP's thread, but I'm curious to know if people who are against the diaper raffle are also against the idea of bringing a book along (optional) for the baby?

From what I understand, yes, most of the board is also against that.

That said, I might put on my registry card insert that if they would like to bring a book instead of card to start the baby's library they can. I just hate cards and want to build a great library for this little girl. I loved books so much. If I get some, awesome. If not, I have about 50 from my childhood.

It's the hitting over the head with cutesy saying and poems and TELILNG PEOPLE to bring a book that crosses the line, I think. But if a registry is just a suggestion, I figure I can maybe throw one line on there about the book with the registry.

Someone stop me if it's a bad idea. I was discussing it with my mom and she liked the idea (she's throwing the shower--but I'm a designer, so I'm doing the invitations, because I can't let that go). But I want someone neutral to weigh-in.

And thanks for the feedback on diapers. I'll just put like 10 packs of each size on there and see what happens.

Sorry Luv, but I still wouldn't do it. I know you would probably rather have a book than a card, but I think any "guidance" in terms of gift giving is just micro-managing. It does seem ungrateful, and would still rub me the wrong way. Instead, you have have your mom spread the idea via word of mouth?

Showers are supposed to be fun. I know you want to get things you "need" and not just $30 outfits, but someone still took the time to get excited for you and pick out that outfit because they wanted your baby to have it. If everyone only brought the necessities to showers (baby shampoo, lotion, crib sheets, etc) showers would be pretty darn boring.

I know you're worried about how you'll afford everything, but you will find a way to buy the things you need... you'll need to, because a shower happens once, and babies last a lifetime!

Well, I could just put 30 books on the registry. Does that make it better?

I mean, I don't like TELLING people BRING A BOOK INSTEAD OF A CARD. However, putting a sentence under the registry information seems like a safer gray area for me. That said, it's still a gray area. Don't know what I'll do on it.

Saying "guidance" is not polite is weird to me, because that's what a registry IS. A diaper raffle seems different to me, because it's in addition to the gift you presume they will be bringing. A book instead of a card is not as big of a deal as that...but it's still sort of in that same family. The diaper raffle doesn't sit well with me. The book idea...I don't know.

I'm torn. I see your point. I'm just torn.

MuffinMom14 · June 2014

starla487 said:

@SPurp13‌: I'm inheriting a ton of girl clothes as well, but can't stop people from buying those things for showers. (This is the first girl born to both DH and my families in nearly 30 years. People are crazy excited.) If getting ten zillion dresses concerns you, just don't tear the tag off everything when you get it and return items that won't be in season by the time LO will be that size for store credit.

That's really what I'm considering doing. I'm just concerned about the people that will tear off tags and not have receipts with the gift.

It's not that I don't want adorable outfits. I TOTALLY DO. I just really feel awful when I think of wasting things. My friend dropped off enough clothes today for this baby. I'm done. I need no more clothes until 12 months. New sparkly adorable clothes are wonderful, I just feel like they are wasteful.

I REALLY should have been team green. If I feel this badly right now, I'm going to feel REALLY badly when I have a boy later on (if I have a boy) and have nothing for him. I know it's my responsibility to clothe my baby regardless, but because I feel awkward about a baby shower, I feel like, if I'm having one, I should be more responsible with what I register for--ALL GENDER NEUTRAL THINGS. But no one buys off of the registry. $:\$ I should have thought ahead and went team green for the baby shower. I don't think I could have kept it a secret that long, though. $:\$

I'm just terrified to get things I won't use. I will feel really guilty. That's where I'm coming from. I'm overwhelmed at generosity so far of people that have given me little girl things. SO overwhelmed. But. I keep thinking in the back of my head that I hope I don't get many more clothes or some will go completely unworn and I will feel so badly about it.

ADH0906 · June 2014

SPurp13 said:

HelloSweetie1 said:

SPurp13 said:

kfitzguerra said:

Not to steal OP's thread, but I'm curious to know if people who are against the diaper raffle are also against the idea of bringing a book along (optional) for the baby?

From what I understand, yes, most of the board is also against that.

That said, I might put on my registry card insert that if they would like to bring a book instead of card to start the baby's library they can. I just hate cards and want to build a great library for this little girl. I loved books so much. If I get some, awesome. If not, I have about 50 from my childhood.

It's the hitting over the head with cutesy saying and poems and TELILNG PEOPLE to bring a book that crosses the line, I think. But if a registry is just a suggestion, I figure I can maybe throw one line on there about the book with the registry.

Someone stop me if it's a bad idea. I was discussing it with my mom and she liked the idea (she's throwing the shower--but I'm a designer, so I'm doing the invitations, because I can't let that go). But I want someone neutral to weigh-in.

And thanks for the feedback on diapers. I'll just put like 10 packs of each size on there and see what happens.

Sorry Luv, but I still wouldn't do it. I know you would probably rather have a book than a card, but I think any "guidance" in terms of gift giving is just micro-managing. It does seem ungrateful, and would still rub me the wrong way. Instead, you have have your mom spread the idea via word of mouth?

Showers are supposed to be fun. I know you want to get things you "need" and not just $30 outfits, but someone still took the time to get excited for you and pick out that outfit because they wanted your baby to have it. If everyone only brought the necessities to showers (baby shampoo, lotion, crib sheets, etc) showers would be pretty darn boring.

I know you're worried about how you'll afford everything, but you will find a way to buy the things you need... you'll need to, because a shower happens once, and babies last a lifetime!

Well, I could just put 30 books on the registry. Does that make it better?

I mean, I don't like TELLING people BRING A BOOK INSTEAD OF A CARD. However, putting a sentence under the registry information seems like a safer gray area for me. That said, it's still a gray area. Don't know what I'll do on it.

Saying "guidance" is not polite is weird to me, because that's what a registry IS. A diaper raffle seems different to me, because it's in addition to the gift you presume they will be bringing. A book instead of a card is
not as big of a deal as that...but it's still sort of in that same family. The diaper raffle doesn't sit well with me. The book idea...I don't know.

I'm torn. I see your point. I'm just torn.

Actually, that's exactly my solution to not dictating a specific gift in an invite...put books in your registry. I did and they've almost all been bought. People like to buy books, and at this point lots of people know about the book:card switch and may do it anyway.

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