Is this in good taste?

asarem93

So here is my idea for the baby shower.
I know many showers have an "entry fee" of a pack of diapers or wipes, however, we are cloth diapers. So my plan, if people wouldn't be offended, is to include my cloth diaper registry with the invitations and actual registry. It would, state on the invitation that if you biy something off the diaper registry (nothing is over $25) you will be entered into a raffle for an Amazon gift card (or maybe something more exciting?). My mom is hosting the shower and she thinks it's a good idea.
Sorry if this post is hard to understand, it was hard for me to word it right.
I'm trying to be considerate when asking for things because I hate sounding greedy, but I know if there isn't an incentive, my family won't buy and cloth diapers because they don't agree with the fact that I am using them.
Please go easy on me if you think it's a bad idea.

youngin12

I personally don't like any kind of diaper raffle. I would include it on your registry list but I wouldn't do the raffle.

MrMrsandBaby

Yes, I think it is a bad idea.  No matter how you word it on the invite I think it is a bad idea.

cozybluebear

I would put something on the invite stating that you are cloth diapering... even just a cute little phrase. Then just add them to your registry. I received enough diapers at my shower to last me months and I didn't register for any... people just bring them. A little note will save you the hassle of returning them all.

asarem93

I just said that because the last 5 I have been to did the diaper "entry fee" and nobody seemed to mind.

staryb

I've never heard of a shower having an "entry fee". I mean it's customary to bring a gift but beyond that I wouldn't expect anything extra. I don't see anything wrong with including both registries but the way you have this worded it kind of sounds like you're expecting a regular registry gift AND a diaper registry gift. So if you're concerned about not sounding greedy just be careful how you word it on the invite.

MrMrsandBaby

asarem93 said:

I just said that because the last 5 I have been to did the diaper "entry fee" and nobody seemed to mind.

Well, it would be super rude for a guest to say something, but I'm willing to bet more than one person was annoyed by it

loopybaby

I'm not super up on shower etiquette but it's sounding more like a fund raiser or "Tupperware" party than a shower. Whatever someone buys you is one less thing you have to buy yourself so I would say put them on your registry and be done with it.

pnwlover12

I've never ever heard of an entry fee for a baby shower. That is way over the top IMO. I don't think diaper raffles are a bad idea as long as it's not a requirement.

Raesofsunshine1

You can always just return any diapers or wipes you get and put it towards something else. I wouldnt do it.

2goingon3

Never heard of this. I would be unhappy if I was asked to bring something specific. I like to enjoy picking out my gift based on what I think the mom will like/get use from.
So, I vote that this is tacky.

asarem93

Yeah I figured it wouldn't go over to well... like I said, I'm not expecting them to buy me an extra item off the other registry. I was not planning on doing it as an entry fee. Just if the felt like buying something that talked a little extra effort to order, they would be entered.

MrsSinner402

We're doing a diaper raffle, but its optional. It's a bring a pack and get your name into a drawing for a prize. They're quite common where I'm from. Again, the demographics all play a role. What's tacky in Texas isn't necessarily tacky in Michigan.

asarem93

I guess I do need to be careful how I word it. I already made everyone in here think I was doing it as a requirement which was never the idea lol. :-S

angeltennis3

Would I ever do this? No. I would side eye a friend for this, too, but it also isn't the norm in my area.

I am of the (maybe unpopular) opinion that if it IS the norm for your circle then it's fine. I would just use wording that your 5 other friends used. Like @MrsSinner402 said, what is considered acceptable (I hate the word tacky) is different depending on where you live and what your family and friends expect.

It's like the whole money dance debate from the wedding days...some places totally expected other places completely frowned upon.

DreadGamerWife

Just list the cloth diapers on your registry information and if people want to buy you cloth diapers, they will.  Your hostess can also let invitees know via the phone/e-mail that y'all are going to cloth diaper if asked what you would like.  

Some of my family members think I have grown a second head when I mentioned that we are going to be doing cloth diapers, so they wouldn't buy me cloth diapers no matter what my hostess did.  

Personally, I find being asked to provide additional gifts on top of what I purchased for the shower to be tacky - regardless of the "prize" offered.  

MagentaMouse

Wait, are you throwing your own shower?  :-?

asarem93

No my mom is throwing it but she is asking my opinions on things. Should have clarified

MrMrsandBaby

geetargirl05 said:

I am cloth diapering as well. The answer to your question, is no, your instinct is right - this is poor taste. Put them on your registry, but do not ask people to buy them for you. You can return disposables and/or save them - lots of people who are CDing use them while they are out, vacationing, at night or for various other unplanned reasons. You don't get to pick your gifts, your registry is just a list to show people things you'd like. 

And all of this!  I know CD's are expensive up front, but it feels like you are trying to get others to subsidize that particular cost for you with an incentive.  I didn't read it as it being required, but I did read it as "I can't afford the cloth diapers so help me out and I will toss your name in for some small gift if you do."

Since I assume you are not planning your own shower, it is up to the host on what happens but I would be totally ok with getting a shower invite that has two places where you are registered (a lot of people register at more than one place).  But drawing attention to one over the other is just strange.

Also, I don't think it is totally necessary to remind people you are going to CD.  Like I quoted above, a lot of CD moms use disposables for travel and "just in case" situations.

PBJellyTime

I agree with everyone else, and I too am cloth diapering.  My sister CD and only 2 people bought her CD off her registery, I don't think people believed her or took her seriously.

With that being said, and knowing that she had a difficult time getting people to buy them off of her registery, I have purchased a few on my own every other week, and I take pictures when they come in the mail and post them to my Facebook page, (since most of the people invited are my friends on Facebook), to show them that I am very serious about cloth diapering, and hopefully encourage them to consider buying them off my registery.  Of course I don't post THAT on my page, just a picture with a caption that says something like, "Can't wait to meet my fluffy butt!"  Just an idea on how to maybe encourage people to buy you some CDs.

asarem93

PBJellyTime said:

I agree with everyone else, and I too am cloth diapering.  My sister CD and only 2 people bought her CD off her registery, I don't think people believed her or took her seriously.

With that being said, and knowing that she had a difficult time getting people to buy them off of her registery, I have purchased a few on my own every other week, and I take pictures when they come in the mail and post them to my Facebook page, (since most of the people invited are my friends on Facebook), to show them that I am very serious about cloth diapering, and hopefully encourage them to consider buying them off my registery.  Of course I don't post THAT on my page, just a picture with a caption that says something like, "Can't wait to meet my fluffy butt!"  Just an idea on how to maybe encourage people to buy you some CDs.

Yeah, I get a lot of "I give you a month before you switch to disposable" it's very frustrating.
Thank you all for your opinions. I know I was leaning towards no, but now this solidifies it. Now just have to convince my mom that ours not a good idea... wish me luck lol.

BreandMikewedding

I have never heard of an "entry fee" of diapers. I have heard of diaper raffles and diaper showers. You might want to consider a diaper shower if you really want diapers. However people may buy you disposable. I had a friend who had a diaper shower and everyone brought her packages of different diapers in different sizes.

Just something to think about. Cloth diapering may or may not work for you. Just like a lot of things with babies, you have to figure out what works for them. I have a friend who was determined to cd. She bought a ton in all sizes and then her daughter had an allergic reaction to them. I was also determined to bf my last baby. Then I had no milk. Literally none and due to other medical issues I couldn't keep trying. What I'm trying to say is you may want to only buy a few to test them out and see how they work for you and LO.

pinkshades05

I'm not a huge fan of the diaper raffles--I'm already paying $25-50 on a gift. And then to ask for $10+ for diapers?? I would buy a cheaper gift to compensate or just not buy the diapers.

asarem93

BreandMikewedding said:

I have never heard of an "entry fee" of diapers. I have heard of diaper raffles and diaper showers. You might want to consider a diaper shower if you really want diapers. However people may buy you disposable. I had a friend who had a diaper shower and everyone brought her packages of different diapers in different sizes.

Just something to think about. Cloth diapering may or may not work for you. Just like a lot of things with babies, you have to figure out what works for them. I have a friend who was determined to cd. She bought a ton in all sizes and then her daughter had an allergic reaction to them. I was also determined to bf my last baby. Then I had no milk. Literally none and due to other medical issues I couldn't keep trying. What I'm trying to say is you may want to only buy a few to test them out and see how they work for you and LO.

I agree that I don't know if it will work for my family it not no matter how determined I am. My problem is that they can't be supportive and it seems like they hope I fail so they can say "I told you so". And if they don't think I can do it I wish they could respect me enough to let me figure it out on my own.

asarem93

No, they way my family works is if they think it's right, then they are right. I have already tried many different routes of letting them know they were being rude. Everything from playful "well I guess I have to prove your wrong" comments to flat out saying they are offending me and that it's my decision. I know someone will bring a bunch of disposable diapers to the shower "just in case" but it won't be in a loving way, it will be in a "for when you fail" way. Don't get me wrong, this is not my whole family. Most of my family is supportive even if they don't agree. There are just a few who are...let's say... pushy and opinionated.

asarem93

theresat858 said:

No. Just no.

If you want to say you plan to cloth diaper in the info message at the top if your registry, do so. And put cloth diapers on it if you are registering anywhere that sells CDs you want to use, but most good cloth brands are only available from specialty online stores.
BG are expensive, but you can buy quality cloth diapers for less than $10 each...and they hold up better than BG.

I am actually using prefolds and covers. I am retested at BRU, amazon, and green mountain diapers.

toomanycats1

asarem93 said:

I just said that because the last 5 I have been to did the diaper "entry fee" and nobody seemed to mind.

That they told you.  

The people that still chose to attend maybe didn't mind.  How many people RSVP'd "NO" because they were offended.  My cousins have started doing this for their showers.  Do I go?  No!  I think it's not only tacky, but quite rude.  

Would you request an "entry fee" gift for a child's birthday party in addition to the one they will probably already be bringing?  You are entitled to whatever gift a shower guest chooses to bring you... and you should appreciate it no matter what.  Don't try to micro-manage your guests.   

Just no.

DreadGamerWife

@Nicb13  I know - I ignore them and do what we want.  I am also the youngest of 9 in total (step sibs included), so all of my siblings think that they are experts and that I should follow what they did.  Never mind that aside from my brother and SIL's LO (due in July and also cloth diapering), the average age of my nieces/nephews is somewhere around 12 so it has been a while since almost all of them have had a newborn.

asarem93

HelloSweetie1 said:

asarem93 said:

I just said that because the last 5 I have been to did the diaper "entry fee" and nobody seemed to mind.

That they told you.  

The people that still chose to attend maybe didn't mind.  How many people RSVP'd "NO" because they were offended.  My cousins have started doing this for their showers.  Do I go?  No!  I think it's not only tacky, but quite rude.  

Would you request an "entry fee" gift for a child's birthday party in addition to the one they will probably already be bringing?  You are entitled to whatever gift a shower guest chooses to bring you... and you should appreciate it no matter what.  Don't try to micro-manage your guests.   

Just no.

As I said earlier, I was not requiring this as an entry fee. Also, thanks to everybody's input I have decided not to have this at my shower. But I do agree with some PPs that this may also be a regional thing. And people from other areas might not be as a custom to this as we are here.

asarem93

DreadGamerWife said:

@Nicb13  I know - I ignore them and do what we want.  I am also the youngest of 9 in total (step sibs included), so all of my siblings think that they are experts and that I should follow what they did.  Never mind that aside from my brother and SIL's LO (due in July and also cloth diapering), the average age of my nieces/nephews is somewhere around 12 so it has been a while since almost all of them have had a newborn.

Can I also add that these are the same relatives who are very mad that I refuse to eat deli meats. Because they did and their kids turned out fine...

Roseypants

With my daughter I had a diaper raffle (optional). I wouldn't by any means call it an entry fee.. It's just if they wanted to participate. My baby shower was just close family so it wasn't a big deal. My mother in law also had a shower for me and she did a first book raffle so we had a nice collection of baby books and things like that. It was really nice.

MissMandyD

asarem93 said:

So here is my idea for the baby shower. I know many showers have an "entry fee" of a pack of diapers or wipes, however, we are cloth diapers. So my plan, if people wouldn't be offended, is to include my cloth diaper registry with the invitations and actual registry. It would, state on the invitation that if you biy something off the diaper registry (nothing is over $25) you will be entered into a raffle for an Amazon gift card (or maybe something more exciting?). My mom is hosting the shower and she thinks it's a good idea. Sorry if this post is hard to understand, it was hard for me to word it right. I'm trying to be considerate when asking for things because I hate sounding greedy, but I know if there isn't an incentive, my family won't buy and cloth diapers because they don't agree with the fact that I am using them. Please go easy on me if you think it's a bad idea.

I feel your pain on the family not understanding the cloth diapering and in my case being confused and sometimes offended by it. My mother asks me every week if I am becoming some kind of hippie earth mother. However I would tend to agree that diaper raffles are a bit tacky.

The route I have chosen is to build my NB stash on my own and register for a few diapers and all the accessories which I think people will maybe have more fun buying. I registered for the detergent, wet bags, diaper hamper, travel changing pad, cloth wipes, cloth diaper safe cream and so on. 

I would assume people aren't really going to give you diapers and then you can be pleasantly surprised if they do. 

PS: Just ordered the most adorable NB Imagine AIO on amazon for only $7! Also the GMD workhorses were recommended to me by the cloth diaper board and they are only $5 for a NB size and you can get an affordable cover. 

MrsSinner402

starla487 said:

This is why I'm glad my hostess has never heard of diaper raffles...

I guess we're tacky up here in Northern Michigan. :-/

asarem93

MrsSinner402 said:

starla487 said:

This is why I'm glad my hostess has never heard of diaper raffles...

I guess we're tacky up here in Northern Michigan. :-/

South Texas too I guess hehe.

MrsSinner402

Nicb13 said:

asarem93 said:

MrsSinner402 said:

starla487 said:

This is why I'm glad my hostess has never heard of diaper raffles...

I guess we're tacky up here in Northern Michigan. :-/

South Texas too I guess hehe.

Yep, you guys are
:P

Oh, shut your face hole!

nightowl1989

I was told by experienced moms not to even register for diapers and some other stuff because you'll get them anyway. Obviously, if you're cloth diapering, you'll probably want to at least register for those and let people know. But I agree. A diaper raffle seems a little...weird to me. From a logical standpoint, and my mom dealt with this, your baby may or may not be too big for newborn diapers or even too small for them.

asarem93

Say it out loud! "I'm tacky and I'm proud!"

NavyFlyer

Disclaimer: I didn't read all the responses.

Yes, this is a bad idea. It's not even a gray area, it is a straight up bad idea. 

MissMandyD

asarem93 said:

No, they way my family works is if they think it's right, then they are right. I have already tried many different routes of letting them know they were being rude. Everything from playful "well I guess I have to prove your wrong" comments to flat out saying they are offending me and that it's my decision. I know someone will bring a bunch of disposable diapers to the shower "just in case" but it won't be in a loving way, it will be in a "for when you fail" way. Don't get me wrong, this is not my whole family. Most of my family is supportive even if they don't agree. There are just a few who are...let's say... pushy and opinionated.

Getting this from my family too! SIL and Mom mainly.

MuffinMom14

So, my family (in-laws and birth family) do not do diaper raffles, because they think it's tacky. I guess I do, too, so it doesn't matter--I won't be having one.

However, can I put diapers on my Target registry?

The thing is, I don't want little frilly dresses. I want things I NEED. And I realize I probably won't get much off of my registry because people like to buy baby clothes, but. I don't need baby clothes. I have three people giving me ALL of their little girl clothes.

I guess I'm just praying for people to leave on tags and give me receipts so I can return and buy things I actually need for the baby. That sounds ungrateful, but I'm not looking forward to this shower anyway, it's my mom's rodeo.

MissMandyD

SPurp13 said:

So, my family (in-laws and birth family) do not do diaper raffles, because they think it's tacky. I guess I do, too, so it doesn't matter--I won't be having one.

However, can I put diapers on my Target registry?

The thing is, I don't want little frilly dresses. I want things I NEED. And I realize I probably won't get much off of my registry because people like to buy baby clothes, but. I don't need baby clothes. I have three people giving me ALL of their little girl clothes.

I guess I'm just praying for people to leave on tags and give me receipts so I can return and buy things I actually need for the baby. That sounds ungrateful, but I'm not looking forward to this shower anyway, it's my mom's rodeo.

You just outlined one of the big reasons we are Team Green! People have trouble getting excited about gender neutral baby clothes!