- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
December 2014 Moms
Laceyd2014
member
Saying goodbye... loss mentioned
Laceyd2014
member
Yesterday morning I woke up bleeding heavily... I wasn't cramping was told to go to the er... upon arrival they did a pelvic and said the bleeding had stopped. They followed with an ultrasound and I was able to see my little baby, but the baby was lifeless... no heartbeat and not moving unlike Thursday at my dr. Appointment when the baby kicked the dopler and the heart was beating at 165 bpm... I had to undergo an emergency d&c and was sent home to deal eith everything that had just happend... Well... The bleeding has subsided as if nothing ever happened... I keep praying that this was just a dream but unfortunately it's not. I keep praying that I will quit waking up crying because every time I drift off to sleep all I see are images of my baby on the ultrasound screen lifeless... I keep trying to figure out how on Thursday there was a heartbeat of 165 and the baby was bouncing all around and then all of the sudden at 9 am Saturday morning such a precious and innocent life is ripped away with 0 explanation. Trying to figure out how to explain this to my little girl who was over the moon excited about being a big sister. Trying to figure out a way to comfort my boyfriend who lost his first child and had to hear about it via the telephone while driving to Texas. But mostly trying to figure out how to stop blaming myself and hating myself for something that "just happens for reasons we do not understand" telling myself over and over and over again that baby Chelsea or baby Parker is in a better place and not feeling guilty on every level possible for wanting that better place to have been in my arms... trying for the life of me to figure out where to go from here, how to pick up the pieces of my shattered and broken heart... The first time was extremely hard and I prayed to never have to experience this pain and emptiness again but this time is even harder because I've seen the baby heard it's little heart beating away just 3 days ago... I'm sorry for the depressing post to everyone who is pregnant I wish you all the best and healthiest happiest time of your life and pray you never have to experience what I am now. Cling tight to your every happy memory's, feelings, and discomforts. God knows I would give anything to be experiencing those with you. But I know in time I'll have another baby... but it will never be either of the 2 children that have places in my heart that no one else will be able to come close to filling. Here goes attempting to get some sleep.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Saying goodbye... loss mentioned
TTC since August 2011, Me = 40, DH = 38
Unexplained IF. Tried Clomid for 3 cycles. All BFNs. BFP 1/6/13. Chemical pregnancy.
Moving on to IVF#1. ER 11/26/13, 16 eggs retreived, 12 mature and all fertilized. 2 blasts transferred on 12/1. All other embies arrested so nothing left to freeze. Beta 12/10 = BFN. IVF #2 March 2014. BFP!!! TEAM BLUE!!!
, 💙💙💙💙💙💙
6th pregnancy, 4th baby
BFP 12/08/2015
Beta #1 12/08/2015 (3097)
Beta #2 12/11/2015 (6033)
Me & DH (33), 3 Furbabies, TTC since October 2011
Day 3 #’s (Dec 2012) FSH 9, AMH .77, LH 2.4, E2 31, AFC 9
DX: Me-DOR + No Tubes, DH-Fine
Ectopic 2007; lost tube/2nd tube removed Dec 2011 (hydro)
April 2012=IVF#1- EPP Antag+ICSI, 2R,0F (BFN), Now dx’d with DOR.
June-July 2012=IVF#2- MDL+ICSI&AH, 8R,4M,3F (BFP 9dp3dt) Beta#1 at 11dp3dt=36, Beta#2 at 15dp3dt=156, Beta#3 at 19dp3dt=671, dx'd with SCH, no growth-m/c at 7wks/Lap Dec 2012 to remove small fibroid.
Feb 2013=IVF#3-MDL, 2/1=baseline, started 10 units mdl, AFC-7, 2/3 start gonal f, self cxld cycle b/c of low e2.
April 2013=IVF#3.5-(with new RE)AG/ANT Conv + ICSI. 4/10-4/23 bcp's, 4/20-4/27 lupron, 4/28-ganirelix until end of stimming, 5/2-600 gonal f, 5/4-add 1/2 vial menopur, 5/13-ER (9R,1M,1F), 5/17-ET, 1 beautiful 8 cell (please be my sticky baby!!!!) 5/28-BFFN.
Oct 2013=IVF#4-LLP+ICSI &AH, 10/14 (6R, 2M, 2F), 10/17-ET, 1 seven cell & a six cell, BFP at 9dp3dt, 1st beta=56, 2nd beta=52, CP.
Jan 2014=IVF #5-LLP, Cxld after 6 days of stims due to fast response and lead follicle.
March 2014=IVF 5.5-LLP, Lupron 3/10, BL 3/18, 11 days of stims, Trigger 3/29, ER 3/31. 7R, 2M, 2F. ET 4/3. Txfd one 5 cell & one 9 cell. BFP on hpt from 7dp3dt & on. Praise be to God. Beta #1 at 11dp3dt=106, #2 at 13dp3dt=239. First u/s 4/28, measuring on track & heartbeat seen. 5/5-2nd u/s, measuring on track with strong heartbeat. 5/12- 3rd u/s & released from RE. Grow baby grow, we love you! Baby G&T is a BOY! Born 12/2014 via c/s! 8lbs, 8oz & 21 inches.
*******Ticker Warning**********
"God's Delay is not God's Denial"
"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."
Summer Dog/Winter Dog D14 AUG. SIGGY CHALLENGE: TEEN CRUSH- LEO
Baby #1
Baby #2
~04/19/16 EDD 12/26/16~
SaveSaveSaveSave
BFP #1 11/28/09 ~ EDD 8/6/10 ~ DS Born 8/9/10
BFP #2 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/8/14 ~ Natural MC 9/18/13 at 6 weeks, 6 days
BFP#3 3/28/14 ~ EDD 12/7/14 ~ DD Born 11/21/14
BFP#4 6/15/17 ~ EDD 2/20/18
bfp#4 3/19/2014 edd 12/1/2014 please let this be the one!
beta @ 5w0d = 12,026! u/s 4/22/14 @ 8w1d it's twins!
BFP #1: EDD 8/18/2014 | MMC 1/28/14
BFP #2: EDD 12/29/14