I breast fed DS, and I had the hardest time in front of family. It worked well as an excuse to get away from some of the family members I can't stand, on one particular side. However, the other side of the family I felt like I was constantly leaving to feed him. These are people I'd bend over backwards for. BFing isn't big in my family, not like it is for me, other babies were formula fed. I was directed to a rocking chair in another room- I assume they were considering my privacy, but I felt more ostracised then considered. I wanted to just hang out comfortably and not resent feeding my child because it was taking away from hanging around them (DS fed hourly- a bit high maintenance).
Anyway, has anyone over come that? It's akin to the feeling of knowing that your parents/aunts/cousins have sex- I feel like it's gross to them and don't want to have it in their faces- esp around my male cousins. But really, I'd like to put those feelings aside, if for nothing more then that I SHOULDN'T feel embarrassed to feed my child, and they shouldn't have that control over me...and they SHOULD be OK with all of this. I feel bad for making them uncomfortable, though- so maybe this is my issue not theirs. I wouldn't have trouble doing it in front of friends of mine, I don't have issues with anyone doing it in front of me. I can do it in front of my mom, and mostly my dad (I don't think I did last time, but I don't remember), but the rest of the family, IDK.
I'm think I'm planning on just doing it an not asking, perhaps they won't even notice. I will be wearing the new LO, so I can likely do it within the sling/wrap. IDK
Re: Breast feeding in front of family
By their second visit, I would just hang out like I normally would and nurse her with a cover whenever and wherever needed. We had pretty much gotten into a good groove so the process was smoother.
Is it your family that is uncomfortable or are you assuming that they are uncomfortable, OP?
DH:34 - Me: 33
Emmaline Winifred - 1.25.2013
Wesley Daniel - 7.24.2014
#3 EDD - 6.24.2018
BFP#3 10/29/13! Beta#1 at 4w5d - 2141, beta#2 at 5w1d - 7651! U/S 11/21/13 showed baby measuring 2 days ahead with a heartbeat of 127 bmp!
When I go out I'll take a blanket but I'm not giving a rat's ass if someone is uncomfortable. Why shouldn't I feed my child anywhere I wouldn't eat?
I was nervous as a FTM. Even my DH doesn't like it. He was not breastfed and has never been around it before DD was born. It's not that he thinks it's gross, it's just not something he's used to. He's better now, but I think he would still prefer me to cover myself. He's a pretty modest person in general though.
I felt weird BFing in front of family last time but they were so cool about it and didn't think it was weird at all. I think it was my own insecurity at the time. This time I honestly will not care and if anyone says something, they can leave the room. I'm not going to hide myself every time LO gets hungry.
I think you should do what makes you comfortable, but also know that some people are not used to it and may take while for them to be comfortable with it.
13 yr old boy with ASD, ADHD and PICA, 11 yr old boy, 3 yr old Girl, & baby Girl.
My and DH's families are very supportive of breastfeeding, but I always used a cover when nursing DS even in my own house. It was more for my comfort than theirs. When he got older and didn't like the cover, I usually went into another room, again for my comfort. By that time, he wasn't nursing as frequently or as long so it wasn't a big deal.
Feeding a baby =/= purposefully exposing things just because we feel like it. It's specifically done not just because the mom feels like it but because the baby HAS to eat.
Also helpful hint: if your boobs are waggling around while you're breastfeeding, you're doing it wrong.
I'm really bothered by the fact that on one hand we have all this societal pressure saying "good moms breastfeed" and OTOH women shouldn't breastfeed in public or in front of others who might not like it because then we're inconsiderate hussies just throwing our boobs in people's faces. So mothers end up shamed if they don't breastfeed, and shamed if they do. It's BS.
BFP#3 10/29/13! Beta#1 at 4w5d - 2141, beta#2 at 5w1d - 7651! U/S 11/21/13 showed baby measuring 2 days ahead with a heartbeat of 127 bmp!
I'll be even less worried about who sees me feed this time.
My mom is a doula and nursed 7 children. With my family it is all good. My older nephews (10, 13 and 14) appreciate a heads up because they prefer to leave the room while their aunties nurse, and that is fine, that is their choice, but they leave, not the nursing mother, and it's not a big deal.
My youngest brother is kind of an asshole (not just about this) and tried to tell my sister that she really should consider his comfort when feeding her child, and he was shut down by my mom, dad, and every other person in the room. You're not comfortable with someone feeding their baby? Look somewhere else.
So I guess I would just do what makes YOU feel comfortable. But I'd never ostracize myself to feed my child.
First off, I am making a sign for my hospital door that says NURSING MOTHER DO NOT ENTER!!! Please come back in 20 minutes! in very big fucking sparkly ass letters because I do not need the constant parade of medical personel in and out of my room while I am trying to establish a breastfeeding relationship. I am a very very very modest person and having people, even doctors, nurses and MAs, coming in and out would make me hugely uncomfortable. I'll have my mom stick it on the door when we are nursing.
I'll probably nurse with a cover in front of my dad, FIL and brother for all of our comfort. I won't leave the room though. Last time every time I needed to pump I'd have to leave the room to set that circus up and it made me feel isolated and alone.
I'm lucky that my family will support me in every way shape and form when it comes to feeding my baby.
Yep, every single time I breastfeed, I strip naked and flash my tatas around. Sometimes I spray myself with glitter and hang off a pole at the same time too.
Come on, there is a vast chasm between what you're describing and how real live women behave while breastfeeding. One can breastfeed without a cover AND without looking like a stripper, and I'm guessing you know that.
I remember reading a post in days past where someone was all concerned that she would be spraying all the people around her without a cover. Um, wear a bra? breastpads? I wasn't a sprayer, so what do I know.
I have NEVER seen someone rip all their clothes off to breastfeed, but it sounds entertaining.
I don't really care one way or another about whether anyone else chooses to use a cover or not. I honestly don't pay attention enough to really notice if I'm out in public or around friends & family. I don't think that I will feel comfortable feeding in front of most of my family or DH's family without a cover or going to another room, but that's just me personally. I'm a FTM so that may change, but knowing myself I will be surprised if it does. I also don't plan on continuing to BF once I go back to work from maternity leave IF BF'ing ends up working out for me. If I was planning on committing more time to it, I have a feeling I would feel differently after I got used to it.
I understand wearing a cover if YOU feel more comfortable. But honestly you and LO are the only ones to be concerned with. Feeding and eating is very natural. And if people are seeing your whole nipple, then you're doing it wrong anyways.
My mom, MIL and all my friends with babies except one breastfeed/fed. So it's pretty normal for me to be comfortable around it. And I've heard it's not always easy so I'll take any help I can get from someone being supportive.
I'm more comfortable with my boobs out than my vagina in front of people I hardly know. I'm very close with my family so I could care less if my dad saw my boobs while feeding his grandchild.
To me, boobs aren't sexual at all during breastfeeding. ..They're a source of nutrients. I think the issue is it makes people uncomfortable because they view them as fun bags and not a baby's food supply. It totally will depend on each person. I find it as whatever. Someone we barely knew breastfed at my sister's party last weekend in front of 20 people. She didn't make a big deal of it so it wasn't a big deal. And she used no cover and I never saw anything. And I was definitely watching because it's something I hope to be doing soon.
I think the more casual and relaxed you are the more comfortable everyone else is. I've been very upfront this entire pregnancy it is what I'll be doing openly.