Hi there,
I am new to this site My husband and I have a 4 year old boy with Autism and have decided to try for a second. We are really scared but want to expand our family. I have just begun taking my prenatal vitamins and we will try in the fall. Any other parents out there who have a child with Autism and have other children as well?
Katherine
Re: Son with Autism, want baby #2
Welcome to the board. Fairly new myself. My son was diagnosed with ASD a few months ago. We've been trying for #2 for a while now. Our situation is slightly more complicated by our infertility issues. DS is the result of IUI and we've been TTC for 18 months now. I'm recently read that fertility meds can increase chance of ASD so we are on the fence about proceeding with that. But, we are still TTC.
HTHs!
I was right at the beginning of our journey of getting him checked out-- hearing tests, speech tests etc. right when i became pregnant with #2. They are 2 yrs 9 months apart. We had a feeling what we were seeing was going to not just "go away" but we also knew that we wanted to be a family of four.
Problem is, you never know what problems your child may or may not have. Something totally unrelated can pop up. KWIM? We have no history on either side of the family for any learning disabilities or ASD. It came at us from left field. However there is a significant history of bipolar on my DH's side as well as MS. Bipolar from what I have read, can increase a chance of ASD. I am assuming here ***insert Dr Google*** that it is probably linked because it is a difference of how the brain was formed. Bipolar people have synapses that do not regulate the mood hormones efficiently. That is something you can not cure-- you only manage. My DH has bipolar and it is like a double whammy for me because he is not always able to manage himself and then we have the added stress of a child of special needs as well.
However, if you take this into consideration, are you up to a second that could have the same issues or different ones, are you willing to take that risk? I was. I was fully prepared to deal with possible bipolar--not ideal but I was ready. It does not usually surface until the tween-late teen years. So we unfortunately may be dealing with this with one or both children. Luckily my DD is 14 months and so far has been ahead or on time with all of her milestones. I knew that might not be the case and I still felt in my heart, I would not feel my family was complete until there were four of us.
Hope that helps. I know its not a cut and dry decision. I know my decision would probably not be everyone's.
Me: 42, DH: 40; Surprise BFP 4/27/2011; no heartbeat at 9w3d, we miss you, Baby Manatee; D&C 6/1/2011; AF returned 6/26/2011; Ready to try for our take-home baby. 7/24/2011--BFP! Peanut born March 2012; BFP: 7/31/2013!; blighted ovum at 7 weeks 8/26/2013. Holy Cannoli! BFP 2/23/2014. EDD 11/6/2014!
@processofbecoming We took a similar outlook.
I have a 6 week old daughter and a DS that was dx with ASD in January. A year ago at the end of this month, we had the A-bomb dropped on us regarding DS. He wasn't dx'd then, but a developmental psychologist said she highly suspected it. We were in the midst of TTC at the time and were successful a few months later. We did discuss the prospect of having another kid with special needs before we conceived, but ultimately decided that we would do our best with whatever hand we were dealt...just like we already were with DS. I'm not going to lie, the prospect of a second child on the spectrum is a concern of mine. I'm finding myself hyper vigilant to note any signs she may have it too (none yet, in fact quite the opposite...she's doing things socially that he never did or did much later). Ultimately though, she will be what she will be and we'll love her for whatever that is
It is a gamble to try again. It's up to you and your partner to decide if the risks are worth it for you. Wishing you peace with your decision.
BFP#2 2.5.11 (EDD 10.15.11) DS born 9.28.11
BFP#4 8.27.13 (EDD 5.6.14) DD born 4.23.14
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~All AL'ers welcome~
We consulted with a pediatric psychiatric geneticist before taking the plunge because the kid has an inherited genetic mutation in a region associated with autism, schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and a couple other things. Baby has a 50% chance of sharing the mutation, which isn't a guarantee of a Dx, and was ballparked at a 10-15% chance of also having ASD. That doesn't factor the list of conditions auntie posted.
He could also get hit by a car crossing the street and need care for life.
So we wait and we watch. I'd be doing that anyway. I just have a better sense of what I'm looking for this time around.
Me: 42, DH: 40; Surprise BFP 4/27/2011; no heartbeat at 9w3d, we miss you, Baby Manatee; D&C 6/1/2011; AF returned 6/26/2011; Ready to try for our take-home baby. 7/24/2011--BFP! Peanut born March 2012; BFP: 7/31/2013!; blighted ovum at 7 weeks 8/26/2013. Holy Cannoli! BFP 2/23/2014. EDD 11/6/2014!