FFFC

Skeemer · May 2014

FFFC 2 -

Whenever the UPS driver (who is our regular) asks me my name I always tell him something different. He never catches on. And if he asks my last name I make up a very ridiculous name like "Shlafenhagger" & even spell it out for him while he types it in his little computer thingy.

MonkeyJD · May 2014

Skeemer said:
FFFC 2 -
Whenever the UPS driver (who is our regular) asks me my name I always tell him something different. He never catches on. And if he asks my last name I make up a very ridiculous name like "Shlafenhagger" & even spell it out for him while he types it in his little computer thingy.

You will now be known as Princess Consuela Bananahammock and DH is Mike Crapbag. :P

ghostof5letters · May 2014

This entire pregnancy, whenever a random stranger asks me how much longer I have left, or when my due date is, I lie and usually knock a month off. Right here lately I've been saying June 23rd (I'm due July 10th).

abundancenow · May 2014

bunny0711 said:

ghostof5letters said:

This entire pregnancy, whenever a random stranger asks me how much longer I have left, or when my due date is, I lie and usually knock a month off. Right here lately I've been saying June 23rd (I'm due July 10th).

Stop it. I do this too and thought it was too weird to mention to anyone.

I've done the same thing, but without giving a date, I just say how much time I have left and knock off a few weeks. Currently my due date is July 24, but I've said I have about a month or so left and leave it at that. It's to the point where I am almost believe it myself. $:\$ ">

purpleXdandelion · May 2014

Whenever I get sick of following DS around the yard, I bribe him with TV and food if we go inside.

darkangel42 · May 2014

DH is not allowed to drive after drinking.

Where I'm from, you take your car keys OR you can drink - not both. Driving even while buzzed is not the done thing.

He's done it twice with me there, claiming he was only buzzed and it's fine. It isn't.

I don't drink so am ALWAYS available to drive him home. What stopped him the third time was me standing up, pointing to the 2 biggest guys in the room and telling DH that if he tried to leave with his keys, I would have those guys take them by force. He gave me the keys because you don't argue with an angry hobbit. If he wants to go to a bar, he has to let me or the designated driver drive him there and back or he's not allowed to drink. I realise he's my husband not my son but I'm not tolerating drink driving.

I don't care how crazy it makes me sound, there's no need when I've offered/threatened to pick him up.

Emilyfae · May 2014

@darkangel42 I've never drank and can't understand why anyone would drink and drive. A drunk totaled my car on Halloween a few years ago. He blew a .25 with his two and four year old in the truck with him. Destroyed my Honda. I sued him and got an Audi. Ahh yeah.

It surprises me how many people get DUIs. I commend you for forcing your DH to be responsible.

katnipeverclean · May 2014

darkangel42 said:

DH is not allowed to drive after drinking.
Where I'm from, you take your car keys OR you can drink - not both. Driving even while buzzed is not the done thing.

He's done it twice with me there, claiming he was only buzzed and it's fine. It isn't.
I don't drink so am ALWAYS available to drive him home. What stopped him the third time was me standing up, pointing to the 2 biggest guys in the room and telling DH that if he tried to leave with his keys, I would have those guys take them by force. He gave me the keys because you don't argue with an angry hobbit. If he wants to go to a bar, he has to let me or the designated driver drive him there and back or he's not allowed to drink. I realise he's my husband not my son but I'm not tolerating drink driving.
I don't care how crazy it makes me sound, there's no need when I've offered/threatened to pick him up.

I completely agree with everything you said. I do drink occasionally but we always have a DD. It's not worth it.

To the bolded: my husband calls me an angry elf sometimes. I love that you are an angry hobbit!

darkangel42 · May 2014

He also got a lecture every time.

If he totals his car after drinking, he better hope he dies or I'll kill him and if he kills someone else in the process, he better hope he dies because I'll kill him slowly and painfully.

There's no logic in it, especially when we both go and we all know I won't be drinking so it's not like it's a hassle for me to drive home after a couple of iced teas. He doesn't seem to realise how much he's had either - he'll think it's only 2 beers but he'll forget the 2 shots of whiskey he did when we got there and when his old army buddy turned up.

I get a little more animated than I probably should about drink driving. Also about excessive drinking. I've got a lot of rage for such a tiny person.

darkangel42 · May 2014

It's already 1:30 and I'm still in my pjs. Supposed to be sorting out kids clothes but my back hurts a little so I'm going for a bubble bath instead. Not even a little bit sorry.

abunai523 · May 2014

I've been running numbers now that we have confirmed daycare plans and I'm really worried about this transition into parenthood from a financial perspective. My confession is that I'm still considering buying myself the really expensive sweater from Anthropologie that I've had my eye on for the last month.

Skeemer · May 2014

@monkeyjd

I totally said Princess Consuela Bananahammock with some kind of weird made up accent & it's awesome!

Myanswer true · May 2014

I actually have something to confess for once! Today, I am 35 weeks, and I just want this child out of me. I want to let him cook for as long as he needs, but I also want my own body back. I justify this to myself with the fact that I know my brother was born at 35 1/2 weeks, weighed 6 lb 10oz, and was not the one of us who did a stint in the incubator. I was unreasonably happy about the fact that my doctor said that LO is measuring at 38 weeks, is head down, and fully settled in my pelvis.

Just to clarify, I'm NOT saying I want a preemie baby. I just want him out as soon as he's finished baking and not a second longer. lol

chevronseven · May 2014

@Lhalliburton‌ If memory serves, this is the same guy who had a sleepover office Christmas party, to which you weren't invited, at which were several of his exes. Correct? If I may be frank, you are way too lenient with this guy. These two instances show that he seems to have some issues with how one is supposed to behave when in a committed relationship. I would definitely be hurt and angry if it were me.

Skeemer · May 2014

SarahVol131 said:

I completely agree with everything you said. I do drink occasionally but we always have a DD.

@sarahvol131

I read this as "I do drink occasionally but we always have DD" as in Dear Daughter. I had to do a rubber neck, squint & read it again to understand it. LOL.

I was like -

Skeemer · May 2014

Myanswer true said:

I actually have something to confess for once! Today, I am 35 weeks, and I just want this child out of me. I want to let him cook for as long as he needs, but I also want my own body back. I justify this to myself with the fact that I know my brother was born at 35 1/2 weeks, weighed 6 lb 10oz, and was not the one of us who did a stint in the incubator. I was unreasonably happy about the fact that my doctor said that LO is measuring at 38 weeks, is head down, and fully settled in my pelvis.

Just to clarify, I'm NOT saying I want a preemie baby. I just want him out as soon as he's finished baking and not a second longer. lol

We're probably all feeling this way or close to it. None of us want sick children or preemies but we're all pretty much over the unicorns & rainbows of pregnancy.

And it's probably reassuring to you that your brother did so well.

Lhalliburton · May 2014

@livelaughlove88 YUP. I wish I had a relationship in which giving him a hard time did anything, but if I say anything at all, I'm annoying and trying to control him, apparently. My dad has told me I might want to start thinking about leaving him. I make excuses for him because he's a great dad and guy over all, I just don't understand why he's so crappy to me. He told me the other day that the only ways I contribute to the relationship are by cooking and cleaning, and I need to start pulling my weight. Leaving is a scary thought, but so is staying. I don't want to be one of those women who threatens to leave and won't, so I need to make up my mind about what I will and won't tolerate, and what my course of action will be.

Sorry for the dramatic sob story that my FFFC/Bitch fest post turned out to be.

katnipeverclean · May 2014

Skeemer said:

SarahVol131 said:

I completely agree with everything you said. I do drink occasionally but we always have a DD.

@sarahvol131
I read this as "I do drink occasionally but we always have DD" as in Dear Daughter. I had to do a rubber neck, squint & read it again to understand it. LOL.
I was like -

Yep every time I drink I include my DD.

bullybutt · May 2014

Lhalliburton said:

@livelaughlove88 YUP. I wish I had a relationship in which giving him a hard time did anything, but if I say anything at all, I'm annoying and trying to control him, apparently. My dad has told me I might want to start thinking about leaving him. I make excuses for him because he's a great dad and guy over all, I just don't understand why he's so crappy to me. He told me the other day that the only ways I contribute to the relationship are by cooking and cleaning, and I need to start pulling my weight. Leaving is a scary thought, but so is staying. I don't want to be one of those women who threatens to leave and won't, so I need to make up my mind about what I will and won't tolerate, and what my course of action will be.

Sorry for the dramatic sob story that my FFFC/Bitch fest post turned out to be.

You can only change what your not willing to tolerate. I tolerated a LOT of BS from ex, thinking that things would change. They did temporarily but his true colors always shined through after a new paint job. Your husband is the controlling, manipulative one. He puts the guilt trip on you to justify his own shitty behavior. To be honest, it sounds like he's a cheating S.O.B. also. I couldn't imagine living with those "what ifs". To this day, I still wish that ex would change to the man he almost could be....but that's my own stupidity. They won't change when they don't see that what they are doing is wrong and hurting you. It's "your problem, not his".

Lhalliburton · May 2014

@bellybutt thank you for that.

Lhalliburton · May 2014

@jessa8907 Yep.

Skeemer · May 2014

SarahVol131 said:

Yep every time I drink I include my DD.

I don't know what responsible parent wouldn't!

Family time amaright or amaright?!

chevronseven · May 2014

bullybutt said:

Lhalliburton said:

@livelaughlove88 YUP. I wish I had a relationship in which giving him a hard time did anything, but if I say anything at all, I'm annoying and trying to control him, apparently. My dad has told me I might want to start thinking about leaving him. I make excuses for him because he's a great dad and guy over all, I just don't understand why he's so crappy to me. He told me the other day that the only ways I contribute to the relationship are by cooking and cleaning, and I need to start pulling my weight. Leaving is a scary thought, but so is staying. I don't want to be one of those women who threatens to leave and won't, so I need to make up my mind about what I will and won't tolerate, and what my course of action will be.

Sorry for the dramatic sob story that my FFFC/Bitch fest post turned out to be.

You can only change what your not willing to tolerate. I tolerated a LOT of BS from ex, thinking that things would change. They did temporarily but his true colors always shined through after a new paint job. Your husband is the controlling, manipulative one. He puts the guilt trip on you to justify his own shitty behavior. To be honest, it sounds like he's a cheating S.O.B. also. I couldn't imagine living with those "what ifs". To this day, I still wish that ex would change to the man he almost could be....but that's my own stupidity. They won't change when they don't see that what they are doing is wrong and
hurting you. It's "your problem, not his".

I'm so sorry to hear this. But I have to agree with @bullybutt‌ that it does sound like he is a cheating SOB. The fact is that while he may be a great guy, it seems he is not a great guy FOR YOU if he's not willing to contribute to the relationship. I don't usually advocate for divorce unless there is adultery or abuse (physical or emotional) going on, and it sounds like one or both could be present in your situation. Is he willing to go to counseling?

Lhalliburton · May 2014

livelaughlove88 said:

Lhalliburton said:

@livelaughlove88 YUP. I wish I had a relationship in which giving him a hard time did anything, but if I say anything at all, I'm annoying and trying to control him, apparently. My dad has told me I might want to start thinking about leaving him. I make excuses for him because he's a great dad and guy over all, I just don't understand why he's so crappy to me. He told me the other day that the only ways I contribute to the relationship are by cooking and cleaning, and I need to start pulling my weight. Leaving is a scary thought, but so is staying. I don't want to be one of those women who threatens to leave and won't, so I need to make up my mind about what I will and won't tolerate, and what my course of action will be.

Sorry for the dramatic sob story that my FFFC/Bitch fest post turned out to be.

You can only change what your not willing to tolerate. I tolerated a LOT of BS from ex, thinking that things would change. They did temporarily but his true colors always shined through after a new paint job. Your husband is the controlling, manipulative one. He puts the guilt trip on you to justify his own shitty behavior. To be honest, it sounds like he's a cheating S.O.B. also. I couldn't imagine living with those "what ifs". To this day, I still wish that ex would change to the man he almost could be....but that's my own stupidity. They won't change when they don't see that what they are doing is wrong and hurting you. It's "your problem, not his".
I'm so sorry to hear this. But I have to agree with @bullybutt‌ that it does sound like he is a cheating SOB. The fact is that while he may be a great guy, it seems he is not a great guy FOR YOU if he's not willing to contribute to the relationship. I don't usually advocate for divorce unless there is adultery or abuse (physical or emotional) going on, and it sounds like one or both could be present in your situation. Is he willing to go to counseling?

We've had 5 sessions so far. They've helped me a lot, and I feel more justified. Our counselor told him he has no compassion and he's very selfish. But it doesn't seem to change things from his end.

He cheated on his ex-wife, and I didn't find out until we were married. I've suspected many things going on, but I've never had concrete evidence.

beff12 · May 2014

I have an ex-friend from high school that recently announced on fb that they'll be having their first baby in October. It gave me so much joy inside to see that our pregnancy announcement got like, triple the likes that hers did.

I promise I'm not a 16 year old.

jrinehart0 · May 2014

zarkarella said:

I chose extra sleep over a shower this morning.

You're not alone. I didn't shower this morning and I do it more than I'd like to admit.

emeek · May 2014

I went to Wendy's and got a frosty and fries when I knew that DH was ready to get lunch when I got home. Yay for feeling like a pig

girlmomi2j17 · May 2014

Some days I will leave dirty dishes in the sink knowing that I can have my 14 year old step daughter do them when she gets home from school. I think being in the third trimester and tired all the time has turned me into an evil step mom.

lindslalala · May 2014

Lhalliburton said:

@livelaughlove88 YUP. I wish I had a relationship in which giving him a hard time did anything, but if I say anything at all, I'm annoying and trying to control him, apparently. My dad has told me I might want to start thinking about leaving him. I make excuses for him because he's a great dad and guy over all, I just don't understand why he's so crappy to me. He told me the other day that the only ways I contribute to the relationship are by cooking and cleaning, and I need to start pulling my weight. Leaving is a scary thought, but so is staying. I don't want to be one of those women who threatens to leave and won't, so I need to make up my mind about what I will and won't tolerate, and what my course of action will be.

Sorry for the dramatic sob story that my FFFC/Bitch fest post turned out to be.

Great dads treat the mothers of their children with respect and are responsible with alcohol. How would you feel if your daughter married someone like your DH? Our kids learn from us and absorb so much more than we realize. Just some food for thought.

jcartz · May 2014

SarahVol131 said:

darkangel42 said:

DH is not allowed to drive after drinking.
Where I'm from, you take your car keys OR you can drink - not both. Driving even while buzzed is not the done thing.

He's done it twice with me there, claiming he was only buzzed and it's fine. It isn't.
I don't drink so am ALWAYS available to drive him home. What stopped him the third time was me standing up, pointing to the 2 biggest guys in the room and telling DH that if he tried to leave with his keys, I would have those guys take them by force. He gave me the keys because you don't argue with an angry hobbit. If he wants to go to a bar, he has to let me or the designated driver drive him there and back or he's not allowed to drink. I realise he's my husband not my son but I'm not tolerating drink driving.
I don't care how crazy it makes me sound, there's no need when I've offered/threatened to pick him up.

I completely agree with everything you said. I do drink occasionally but we always have a DD. It's not worth it.

To the bolded: my husband calls me an angry elf sometimes. I love that you are an angry hobbit!

Lol-- in my house, it's angry troll

lindslalala · May 2014

Ashleylcderrick1 said:

Some days I will leave dirty dishes in the sink knowing that I can have my 14 year old step daughter do them when she gets home from school. I think being in the third trimester and tired all the time has turned me into an evil step mom.

Head shake photo: tumblr_lagke7UAcA1qzjix8.gif

darkangel42 · May 2014

jcartz said:

darkangel42 said:

He gave me the keys because you don't argue with an angry hobbit.

I completely agree with everything you said. I do drink occasionally but we always have a DD. It's not worth it.
To the bolded: my husband calls me an angry elf sometimes. I love that you are an angry hobbit!
Lol-- in my house, it's angry troll

*trimmed!*

Yay for various angry mythical creatures!

taylorjeanne84 · May 2014

futuremrsbrian said:
I've been running numbers now that we have confirmed daycare plans and I'm really worried about this transition into parenthood from a financial perspective. My confession is that I'm still considering buying myself the really expensive sweater from Anthropologie that I've had my eye on for the last month.

Anthro is my weakness!!!

acciovino · May 2014

Confession #1:

I stole ice from the gas station last week. $:\$ ">

I usually go every day and get a Double Gulp full of crushed ice (yeah buddy!) because that's all I can stomach right now. It usually costs 25 cents. Well I went in and the line was ridiculously long and I didn't want to wait. The previous day, one of the employees just told me to go without paying, so instead of waiting in the long line, I decided I would "just go" that day too.

I felt guilty, but not really...

Confession #2

DH has been sober for almost 12 years. While he's never been a wet blanket and he doesn't mind being around those who are drinking, I sometimes feel guilty about it. My confession is that I'm actually glad that he doesn't drink because I don't ever have to worry about him driving drunk and I always have a DD.

emineminem · May 2014

I have a lot today!

1. I pick my nose all the time. Most of the time without realizing it.

2. I'm dreading my childbirth class tomorrow. Eight hours long and bring a pillow for floor exercises? What was I thinking?!

3. I pooped in the work bathroom twice today, and they were both super stanky. Sorry not sorry.

Happy Friday!

purpleXdandelion · May 2014

missquela said:

1. I pick my nose all the time. Most of the time without realizing it.

Confession: I was picking my nose as I read this.

tourqeyes · May 2014

Skeemer said:

SarahVol131 said:

I completely agree with everything you said. I do drink occasionally but we always have a DD.

@sarahvol131
I read this as "I do drink occasionally but we always have DD" as in Dear Daughter. I had to do a rubber neck, squint & read it again to understand it. LOL.
I was like -

The harbaugh gif is killing me. He's so.........animated.

tourqeyes · May 2014

Caitlinrj said:

Confession #1:
I stole ice from the gas station last week. $:\$ ">
I usually go every day and get a Double Gulp full of crushed ice (yeah buddy!) because that's all I can stomach right now. It usually costs 25 cents. Well I went in and the line was ridiculously long and I didn't want to wait. The previous day, one of the employees just told me to go without paying, so instead of waiting in the long line, I decided I would "just go" that day too.
I felt guilty, but not really...
Confession #2
DH has been sober for almost 12 years. While he's never been a wet blanket and he doesn't mind being around those who are drinking, I sometimes feel guilty about it. My confession is that I'm actually glad that he doesn't drink because I don't ever have to worry about him driving drunk and I always have a DD.

I thought you meant you grabbed a 5lb bag of ice from outside and ran for the car.

alyssa719 · May 2014

I typically dislike putting babies in bikinis... and then I saw this and now I really really want to find a way to justify buying it!!!

https://www.neimanmarcus.com/Gucci-Baby-Girl-Two-Piece-Swimsuit-Red-/prod165760051_cat46540806__/p.prod?icid=&searchType=EndecaDrivenCat&rte=%2Fcategory.service%3FitemId%3Dcat46540806%26pageSize%3D120%26No%3D0%26Ns%3DPCS_SORT%26refinements%3D&eItemId=prod165760051&cmCat=product

abchittam · May 2014

alyssa719 said:
I typically dislike putting babies in bikinis... and then I saw this and now I really really want to find a way to justify buying it!!!

https://www.neimanmarcus.com/Gucci-Baby-Girl-Two-Piece-Swimsuit-Red-/prod165760051_cat46540806__/p.prod?icid=&searchType=EndecaDrivenCat&rte=%2Fcategory.service%3FitemId%3Dcat46540806%26pageSize%3D120%26No%3D0%26Ns%3DPCS_SORT%26refinements%3D&eItemId=prod165760051&cmCat=product

OMG! Cute, but I could never justify spending $100 on any article of clothing for a baby.

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