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Cbeanz · May 2014

At one of my lower points I was pumping alone, standing up in a grimy airport bathroom stall with a single travel pump as loud as a lawnmower. Juggling bottle caps, trying hard not to touch any walls.

Memories...

FLRainbowGirl · May 2014

BF for me all the way! BF my 2 for a year each. LOVED IT & never had ANY problems... It is all in the preparation & being knowledgable. I would not exchange it for anything in the world!

Lanatir · May 2014

I DID breast feed. But plenty of moms who had traditional BFing work for them LOVE to tell me I didn't or didn't try hard enough.

I had an over supply. I had too much foremilk. I have inverted nipples. DD stopped latching all together at 8 weeks. In 8 weeks, I had mastitis and 2 separate issues of plugged ducts from trying different nursing positions hoping and praying each time my daughter screamed for food that nursing her wouldn't instead cause more gas and choking from forceful letdown. I gave up nursing and took up pumping. I pumped from 8 weeks until I got my BFP with this one. But I still get lectured about how I didn't try enough.

I couldn't find the info the LC had supposedly sent home with me (to this day it's still not in the hospital papers). They did "courtesy calls" to "check in" on BFing moms and called from blocked numbers while I was asleep so I couldn't just straight up call them back. I had no help. I had no support.

I was always so tired of holding a colicky, screaming baby that having to hold her and try to get her to BF made me HATE her. A screaming little monster who bit at me and kicked me and, when given the one thing she wanted, instead choked and screamed more. Pumping and putting it in a bottle solved all of those problems. She had LESS gas from bottles than BFing because my milk could be mixed better so she wasn't constantly getting all foremilk.

You want to know what REAL breastfeeding is? It's bites. It's burning and itching thrush. It's getting sores on your boobs that burst during nursing sessions. It's trying not to freak out over the fact that some of your expressed milk ended up with blood in it. It's getting judged for having your boobs do what they were designed to do while the 16 year old with DDs can practically fall out of her top and everyone LOVES it. It's engorgement. It's constant worry about supply. It's pain. Supposedly it bonds you and helps you lose weight, but that didn't happen to me.

Will I try again to BF this one? Hell yes. But if it doesn't work out, I will know that I tried and that any way I can put food in my LO's tummy will be ok.

So yeah, BFing is a mommy war. We all get butthurt over it because it's really personal and it implies we aren't taking care of our child.

MNgirl326 · May 2014

Dylan&Blakely said:

Dylan&Blakely said:

I'm so appreciative of all the reasonings behind your yay or nay of breast feeding. I can't believe there are so many issues with it and I'm very sorry for the mommies who had problems with it. Thank you all so much for sharing.
Are you really saying you didn't know women struggle to breastfeed/produce milk
None of my family really has. So no. I didn't realize so many people struggled. I am very surprised at how many people are getting offended and are being so mean and sarcastic in their answers. Not at all what I was expecting.

Who is being mean? Or sarcastic? You got answers to your questions.
Just because someone says you are coming off judgemental, doesn't make them mean. It's just pointing out the truth.
I thought this was a place to learn. That's why I joined this group. Not to upset anyone. Not to be judged. We should be in this group to love on each other. And I truly didn't mean to offend anyone. Honestly if I would have known I would upset anyone I wouldn't have posted. I wish that I could delete the thread for fear that anyone else get offended.

1. You judged in your OP- no one judged you.

2. This is not a place to love each other. It's the internet message board.

3. Take this as a learning opportunity and make sure when you ask a question you don't load it with your own thoughts and opinions.

You could have easily said," I really want to BF, but know a lot of women choose not to. Can you please share your experiences with BFing and FFing, so I can understand my options?"

This my friend is how you ask a question without coming off judgmental.

YaMrWhite · May 2014

FLRainbowGirl said:
BF for me all the way! BF my 2 for a year each. LOVED IT & never had ANY problems...
It is all in the preparation & being knowledgable.
I would not exchange it for anything in the world!

I was quite prepared and knowledgable and it still didn't work for me. Congratulations though.

Ktbug613 · May 2014

Dylan&Blakely said:

Ktbug613 said:

Dylan&Blakely said:
I'm so appreciative of all the reasonings behind your yay or nay of breast feeding. I can't believe there are so many issues with it and I'm very sorry for the mommies who had problems with it. Thank you all so much for sharing.
Are you really saying you didn't know women struggle to breastfeed/produce milk
None of my family really has. So no. I didn't realize so many people struggled. I am very surprised at how many people are getting offended and are being so mean and sarcastic in their answers. Not at all what I was expecting.

Its the way you came off as PPs have explained. That coupled with the fact that you have never tried nor done enough research rubbed people the wrong way.

hamlett17 · May 2014

I hated nursing in the beginning with ds. I was surprised by how much I hated it in fact!! But I kept with it b/c I didn't want to spend the money on formula. I also have a ton of milk so I have a freezer full & have actually been able to donate milk as well. I'm thankful our pedi has a lactation specialist & I have used her a couple of times.

Dylan&Blakely · May 2014

I'm sorry I didn't ask my question properly. I'm not perfect. I'm human and I'm not trying to offend you guys. How many times can I say sorry for offending you before it will sink in?
As for me sayin no one breastfeeds- between family and friend I know about 10 newborns and only one mom breastfeeds. It's my age group??? All the moms I know are in there young 20's and the only mom I know that breast feeds is in her late 30's

liladelphia215 · May 2014

FLRainbowGirl said:
BF for me all the way! BF my 2 for a year each. LOVED IT & never had ANY problems...
It is all in the preparation & being knowledgable.
I would not exchange it for anything in the world!

Gee! If only I knew preparation and knowledge is all it took!

Good for you, though.

klreynol · May 2014

I was induced at 37w with DS because of preeclampsia. After 26 hours of labor and only dilating 3 cm, DS was no longer tolerating labor so my induction ended with a c-section. I had next to no supply from the beginning, and then we both got thrush. He wouldn't latch, my nipples were bleeding, and I had to start supplementing. I EPed - with my cracked bleeding nipples - for 5 weeks, trying everything to up my supply (lactation cookies, fenugreek, keeping hydrated, pumping every 2 hours) until I was only getting .25-.5 ozs per pumping session and he was drinking 2.5 ozs or so. It just came to the point that my supply was next to nonexistent and it wasn't worth the time for the itty bit I was getting - I wanted to spend that time with my newborn son, not hooked up to a machine. Neither my great grandma, grandma, nor my mom was able to breastfeed at all, so I consider 5 weeks a success. I'll try again with baby #2, and hopefully it goes better but if not, formula is fine with me. The most important thing is that baby is fed!

Ktbug613 · May 2014

Deleting doesn't go over well here either....

Edit: my bad you changed your post rather than deleted everything didn't see that at first

KJsbabe · May 2014

Dylan&Blakely said:

As for me sayin no one breastfeeds- between family and friend I know about 10 newborns and only one mom breastfeeds. It's my age group??? All the moms I know are in there young 20's and the only mom I know that breast feeds is in her late 30's

I don't think age has anything to do with it. I was 27 when I had DD and I breast fed her until 21 months. I will be 29 when I have this LO and plan to breast feed for just as long, if not longer.

Breast feeding is no walk in the park, but it's extremely rewarding.

motherboy · May 2014

Oh nice, a dirty delete and a "you don't know my lyfe" all in one.

Kyleedawn08 · May 2014

& a dd. this isn't the way to solve an issue....

Dylan&Blakely · May 2014

Ktbug613 said:
Deleting doesn't go over well here either....

Edit: my bad you changed your post rather than deleted everything didn't see that at first

The reason I deleted is because I don't want to offend anymore people. I'm sorry.

Dylan&Blakely · May 2014

Dylan&Blakely said:

Ktbug613 said:
Deleting doesn't go over well here either....

Edit: my bad you changed your post rather than deleted everything didn't see that at first
The reason I deleted is because I don't want to offend anymore people. I'm sorry.

I deleted because I didn't want to offend anyone else. That wasn't my intention at all. And I don't want to hurt anyone else's feelings. I'm sorry. I didn't know what else to say. As I sit here in tears thinking and not knowing If this pregnancy is going I stay with me I was trying to look to the future as if I wouldn't miscarry this time. Hoping that in 7 and a half months I would have the opportunity to breastfeed.

LadyXaverian · May 2014

Breast milk? Formula? I'm thinking of going a different route.

Seriously, though, why people make one parenting decision or another is no one's business. Add to your list these things:

- Diapering

- Sleeping arrangement

- Circumcision (or not)

- Birth plans

If you must ask a question like this, consider asking it in a way that doesn't reek of judgement. Good luck with this pregnancy. I hope you get to take your baby home in January.

motherboy · May 2014

I think it's so incredibly low to try to pull the miscarriage card (out of nowhere) in order to elicit sympathy. We're all worried about miscarrying.

I think you should just take a break from this forum. You sound immature. Use this experience and learn from it.

Dylan&Blakely · May 2014

motherboy said:
Oh nice, a dirty delete and a "you don't know my lyfe" all in one.

I didn't delete the post. Just what I wrote. I didn't want to upset or defend anymore soon to be moms. We have enough stress as it is. We don't need anymore. I work at a daycare from 9-6. I have 15 3 and 4 year olds. I am around a lot of kids and moms. And I've never offended any of them. I truly love people and I really didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. So I'm sorry. I had an opinion and you guys have more than proved that it was a wrong one. So I now know that I will not be posting anymore posts that have any opinion to them what so ever because I do not like arguing. Life is way to short.

Dylan&Blakely · May 2014

motherboy said:
Oh nice, a dirty delete and a "you don't know my lyfe" all in one.

I didn't delete the post. Just what I wrote. I didn't want to upset or offend anymore soon to be moms. We have enough stress as it is. We don't need anymore. I work at a daycare from 9-6. I have 15 3 and 4 year olds. I am around a lot of kids and moms. And I've never offended any of them. I truly love people and I really didn't mean to hurt anyone's feelings. So I'm sorry. I had an opinion and you guys have more than proved that it was a wrong one. So I now know that I will not be posting anymore posts that have any opinion to them what so ever because I do not like arguing. Life is way to short.

Dylan&Blakely · May 2014

Just so all of you guys know If you knew me personally you would know I'm not being judgmental at all.

motherboy said:
I think it's so incredibly low to try to pull the miscarriage card (out of nowhere) in order to elicit sympathy. We're all worried about miscarrying.

I think you should just take a break from this forum. You sound immature. Use this experience and learn from it.

--------

Wow I'm so surprised that I'm the one who is immature right now. I miscarried at 13 weeks 2 months ago. That was the hardest thing I ever had to go through. And I was not expecting to be pregnant again this soon.
An now you are downing my angel baby? Saying that its unimportant? Wow

Ktbug613 · May 2014

Whoa whoa OP she did NOT "down" your angel baby. I can promise anyone who ever does that will be chased from this website with pitforks and torches. She simply said it was an inappropriate time to pull that card. I'm a loss mama myself and I totally had the same thought. You weren't looking for support for your loss you were trying to use it to distract us from this train wreck of a post.

kaybeeknits · May 2014

Dylan&Blakely · May 2014

Ktbug613 said:
Whoa whoa OP she did NOT "down" your angel baby. I can promise anyone who ever does that will be chased from this website with pitforks and torches. She simply said it was an inappropriate time to pull that card. I'm a loss mama myself and I totally had the same thought. You weren't looking for support for your loss you were trying to use it to distract us from this train wreck of a post.

I apologized for this train wreck of a post. I understand how I was wrong and believe me it won't happen again. I'm not trying to distract anyone from it. All i was saying is that we don't know what each other have been through. And my miscarriage wound is still pretty fresh. I love with it day to day. It sucks. I see all these more due when I was suppose to be do an. It's so hard. I am trying to look in the future talking about breastfeed ing is giving me the hope that I will be able to actually meet this child. That's what I was saying. I post a miscarriage post a couple days ago. This is only my second post and I truly didn't know it was such a touchy subject. I wasn't trying to hurt anyone.

FLRainbowGirl · May 2014

Dylan&Blakely said:

I'm really sorry I offended people. As for those who answered my question with their personal story. Thank you so much. I really appreciate your input. I am so sorry for those of you that had trouble. And I pray that if you decide to try in the future that it works out. And if not than more power to ya. I guess it isn't for everybody. Again for those offended. I am sorry. It was not at all my intention. Like I said before I think we should be lifting each other up. I don't know all you've been through in life and you don't know what I have been through either.

Sorry you put your head in a hornet's nest. Best to leave this topic alone. I don't think you were judgmental. We all have different experiences with different people in our lives. I am also surrounded by DH's family who never tried to BF - by own declaration - they chose - before the babies were born to not BF. So yes, it is a personal choice & though we should be able to discuss the topic without getting judged for believing in BFing on this board, it is too sensitive of a topic with a lot of pregnancy hormones going around... I recommend you discuss this with the self identified, previously BFing Mommas. DM's the best bet. Ps. Just my 2 cents, for some moms it's very sad & they try their best, but it's just impossible or too hard. For some it comes naturally & is easy. Yes, I said easy. You will have to find out for yourself which one you will be, BUT if you want to BF the best thing to do is to DECIDE to BF. CDC did a poll, when women say they'll see or "try", 93% end up not BFing. So decide, even if it's tough to try your best - and get educated talking to successful, BF moms. Edit: for clarification.

kaybeeknits · May 2014

In all seriousness, OP I hope you learned one thing from this: communicating online is TOTALLY DIFFERENT from face to face communication.

You're right; we don't know you. We only know the words you choose to express yourself. Breastfeeding is a very touchy subject, as are many parenting decisions. No mother wants to be accused of taking the easy way out in any aspect of parenting, so you have to tread lightly with questions like these.

Dylan&Blakely · May 2014

mrs.kay+emm said:
In all seriousness, OP I hope you learned one thing from this: communicating online is TOTALLY DIFFERENT from face to face communication.

You're right; we don't know you. We only know the words you choose to express yourself. Breastfeeding is a very touchy subject, as are many parenting decisions. No mother wants to be accused of taking the easy way out in any aspect of parenting, so you have to tread lightly with questions like these.

You are totally correct. Not the same as face to face. And face I face I'm great but apparently not keyboard to keyboard.
Lesson learned. I'm sorry and I hope all of your babies and happy and healthy when you meet them in January.

With much much love

BookitBoo · May 2014

I was worried about being able to breast feed when I was pregnant with DS. My entire family has not been successful in breast feeding because of supply issue. When I brought it up to my doctor, he looked at my boobs (DDD) cocked an eyebrow and said I had nothing to worry about. And I believed him. I didn't own the first bottle, or even a pump. I had not researched formula. I had read all about breast feeding. When they sent home three little 'ready made' bottles of formula I asked DH when he thought he could swing it by the church to donate.

All babies lose weight after birth, but DS's weight loss (more than 30%) had the doctor worried. We were scheduled for an appointment two days after his birth. My mom, who had some very small success at breast feeding my little sister (but who we still had to supplement ~75%)was my support. She helped me and held my hand while I cried and tried to nurse and DH hovered anxiously. She's the one who gently suggested we try one of the bottles sent home with us. His eyes lit up, and he started sucking it down. He. Was. Starving. I felt like I was selfishly starving my baby. I cried so hard.

I pumped for 3 months, for 45 minutes a time. And never got More than 1 oz at a time. I tried everythint to Increase a supply that never came in. After three months I gave up.

I intend to try again, should this be a sticky baby. But I will have formula on hand and I will not feel guilty if I can't. I hope your supply comes in, and that you have an amazing easy time breast feeding. But it is NOT just a matter of choosing to breast feed, and no matter how knowledgable and prepared you are, you may not be able to. Try not to beat yourself up if that's the case.

Perhaps you should try to be more understanding of your friends, too. They will be an invaluable asset.

Edit:

@FLRainbowGirl‌ it is not ALWAYS a choice. Kudos on having a great experience. Too bad it's not the same experience for everyone. Please, please,Stop saying it's a choice. It's ignorant.

Lanatir · May 2014

SassyMommaC said:

@BookitBoo I'm sorry. I had a shit supply too. How foolish to look at your rack and say "You won't have a problem." What an ass.

This. Breast size does not equate milk making tissue volume. Whatever the name for that tissue is... I was barely a B cup pre-pregnancy and I had a better supply than my SiL with F cups prepregnancy. It's the luck of the draw...

Dylan&Blakely · May 2014

I wasn't saying anything bad about my friends who don't breastfeed. It makes it way easier on the babies at school. I was just saying that I was under the impression that alot of people don't breastfeed anymore based on the mommies I am around. Only one breastfeeds

FLRainbowGirl · May 2014

BookitBoo said:

I was worried about being able to breast feed when I was pregnant with DS. My entire family has not been successful in breast feeding because of supply issue. When I brought it up to my doctor, he looked at my boobs (DDD) cocked an eyebrow and said I had nothing to worry about. And I believed him. I didn't own the first bottle, or even a pump. I had not researched formula. I had read all about breast feeding. When they sent home three little 'ready made' bottles of formula I asked DH when he thought he could swing it by the church to donate. Yep. Rack size has nothing to do with it... Idiot. All babies lose weight after birth, but DS's weight loss (more than 30%) had the doctor worried. We were scheduled for an appointment two days after his birth. My mom, who had some very small success at breast feeding my little sister (but who we still had to supplement ~75%)was my support. She helped me and held my hand while I cried and tried to nurse and DH hovered anxiously. She's the one who gently suggested we try one of the bottles sent home with us. His eyes lit up, and he started sucking it down. He. Was. Starving. I felt like I was selfishly starving my baby. I cried so hard. I pumped for 3 months, for 45 minutes a time. And never got More than 1 oz at a time. I tried everythint to Increase a supply that never came in. After three months I gave up. I intend to try again, should this be a sticky baby. But I will have formula on hand and I will not feel guilty if I can't. I hope your supply comes in, and that you have an amazing easy time breast feeding. But it is NOT just a matter of choosing to breast feed, and no matter how knowledgable and prepared you are, you may not be able to. Try not to beat yourself up if that's the case. Perhaps you should try to be more understanding of your friends, too. They will be an invaluable asset. Edit: @FLRainbowGirl‌ it is not ALWAYS a choice. Kudos on having a great experience. Too bad it's not the same experience for everyone. Please, please,Stop saying it's a choice. It's ignorant.

Yep. Rack size has nothing to do with it... Idiot. Edit: clarification.

Lanatir · May 2014

I'm gonna let someone else take that one....

motherboy · May 2014

@Lanatir‌ not me. I've given up.

NatureLovers · May 2014

I am so glad to see the reasonable, non judgmental views regarding BF'ing or FF'ing. I intend to do my best to BF, as all the women in my family have without issue. However, we also have PPD in our family, and if BF'ing becomes a massive trigger for that, I think I would choose my mental health and sanity over a particular feeding method. I'm more concerned about my baby having an emotionally stable mom vs. being fed a certain way.

longcat07 · May 2014

@BookitBoo, what you said about your DS's eyes lighting up when you gave him the formula struck a chord with me. that's exactly what it was like with my DS when i finally broke down and gave him formula after nearly three days of being unable to feed him because i couldn't get letdown (which also makes me think of what @MaPetiteFamille said about trying to get letdown while under pressure and stress). i felt so awful because my poor baby was literally starving.

Lanatir · May 2014

@NatureLovers-- PPD SUCKS. Believe it or not, that becomes a mommy war, too... Some moms STILL believe PPD means you don't care about your kid. I almost punched a woman while she held her newborn when she told me that.

No. PPD is a chemical problem. And is made worse by a whole slew of things. AND you get yourself diagnosed BECAUSE YOU CARE.

So, if you end up with it, I'm here to talk. If that's the thing you like to do about stuff that sucks.

NatureLovers · May 2014

Lanatir said:
@NatureLovers-- PPD SUCKS. Believe it or not, that becomes a mommy war, too... Some moms STILL believe PPD means you don't care about your kid. I almost punched a woman while she held her newborn when she told me that.

No. PPD is a chemical problem. And is made worse by a whole slew of things. AND you get yourself diagnosed BECAUSE YOU CARE.

So, if you end up with it, I'm here to talk. If that's the thing you like to do about stuff that sucks.

What kind of judgmental twat thinks PPD means you don't love your kid?! It's a hormone inbalance! Jeezus. I would have nothing but the utmost compassion for a mom suffering from PPA/PPD. From what I've seen it looks awful. I'm sorry you had to deal with it. My OB office says if you have a history of PPD they recommend starting an antidepressant at 36 weeks to help ward it off. Due to my family history I'm wondering if that's something I should consider. What made you feel better? And thanks for sharing!

Lanatir · May 2014

@NatureLovers-- The OB I had with DD stuck me on Zoloft. We don't think it did too much positive. I ended up with side effects and was really sick weaning off of it. Fish oil actually helped me a lot. Homeopathic mumbojumbo says it's supposed to help the brain make the connections or something. I first read about fish oil in the book below and I cited a little paragraph.

The OB I'm going to this pregnancy treats PPD with progesterone shots since BFing suppressed progesterone some and progesterone provides the building blocks for serotonin. I'm also debating placental encapsulation, but I'm having a problem getting over the idea that I would be ingesting my own organ (in pill form) that I grew....

Fertility, Cycles, & Nutrition by Marilyn M. Shannon. It is written to be used with the idea of Natural Family Planning-- i.e. charting the Sympto-Thermal Method. Anyway, they have a few paragraphs on overcoming the Postpartum Blues.

"Adrenal Function--......During pregnancy, the placenta produces large amounts of hormones which stimulate your adrenal glands to produce their hormones. In the right amounts, adrenal hormones help you to feel good if you are otherwise healthy. However, once the placenta is lost after birth, your adrenal glands lose that stimulation and need to readjust to this change. If the adrenal hormone cortisol is too low, it can contribute to depression.... The B vitamins, vitamin C, and the minerals zinc, selenium, manganese, and magnesium are all involved in supporting the adrenal glands, as are the omega-3 fatty acids from flax oil and fish oil."

Oh... ETA-- I also was in psychotherapy. AND getting diagnosed meant I had a doctor who called and yelled @ DH if he wasn't helping enough... Sort of bratty, but helpful.

NatureLovers · May 2014

Interesting info- and I loved that your doc yelled at your DH.

I had depression as a teenager and Zoloft was very helpful, so I was thinking that might be an option. Of course I'll discuss more with my OB.

BookitBoo · May 2014

I also had PPD/PPA. The world was literally darker it seemed like. It took me about 6 months and a prescription to get over it.

Since I SAHM'd with DS I was always with him. The first time (about a months or two later) I was going to
Meet my best friend for pedicures and lunch, I cried the whole way. It felt like my heart was tangled in fishing line and the further I drove the tighter it got. I actually called DH to let him know I was coming home, I just couldn't physically do it, and he told me something to the effect of 'Don't you dare, you need this'

It was a good step in the right direction but it hurt like hell. I checked my phone every 5 minutes to make sure that DH hadn't called with some emergency (and to see the super cute pic or DS)

So I'm available if you need or want to talk about PPD/PPA, too.

Want a personalized experience?

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