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January 2015 Moms
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This discussion has been closed.
Re: Deleted----
According to various studies to successful BFing, the first step in a normal pregnancy is to choose to BF. To make a decision that you want to BF.
If it's a "maybe", it's a 93% probably not.
What comes after that is in mother nature's hands. We are all different, with different abilities, lives & anatomies.
For some it truly is impossible. Nothing wrong with saying I'm going to do my best to BF. If it doesn't work out, it's just wasn't meant to be. And that's perfectly fine.
Edit:
there is a difference between 'successfully choosing to breast feed' and 'successfully breast feeding'
These two terms aren't interchangeable. So when you talk about 'choosing' to breast feed and how it's -always- a choice, or that all you need is knowledge, determination , and a can-do attitude ; stop. And reconsider. Because it's not as simple as that. Not by a long shot.
Ok.
I haven't seen anyone ask anyone else to tip toe around them. I've seen people asking other people to reply thoughtfully and with respect.
K- born 7/5/2011
G- born 6/24/2013
I mean, it's not like we're in the 70s when they had to give their babies PET milk.
Bottom line, you do what you want with your baby and let others do what they want with theirs. Other mothers' choices in regards to the nutrition of their child has no bearing on your children.
DD: 10 (born August 2004)
Married 03/01/14
TTC#2
BFP: 05/17/2014 EDD: 1/25/15 MMC: 06/30/2014
FYI the only thing I edited was my opening post. It's a new day. I apologized. I can't believe you are still jumping down my throat about this.
I had two newborns screaming for food. They were premature and didn't latch on in the hospital. I kept trying, but they were losing too much weight, so we started supplementing on the second day in the hospital. Finally, my one son latched on, and it was wonderful. My other son, never latched on and was diagnosed with a protein intolerance, was labeled "failure to thrive" at 4 weeks and put on special formula. It was a complete relief to have him on exclusive formula so I only had to worry about BFing one baby. We did fine until I went back to work. Even though I pumped a couple times a day my supply plummeted and by 4 months it dried up.
I really wanted to BF for longer, but couldn't. It just happened and both of my boys are healthy most of the time, very smart and happy. You feed a baby whatever you can that works for you and your family. That's all that matters!
DX Endometriosis 2/2002 (lost left tube due to a cyst), PCOS 6/2010
BFP - 10/18/2012, EDD - 6/26/2013, Baby Girl lost at 22 weeks (T21), D&E 2/15/2013
BFP - 4/23/2014, EDD - 1/2/2015 Twin Boys lost at 12 weeks, M/C 6/25/2014
My chart here All ALers welcome!
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Thank you for your story. That's all I was looking for. I wanted to hear the whys and why nots of experienced mommies. So I don't go into the whole baby thing as a fairy tale. I wasn't trying to down anyone. Just wanted to hear how breast feeding went for moms. And why they chose it had to do one or the other.
What happens after they have the baby, cannot be predicted. At that point it may NOT be a choice, say milk supply is too low.
But it does start with a decision to want to & to stick with it & try till you see it will - or won't - work for you.
DD: 10 (born August 2004)
Married 03/01/14
TTC#2
BFP: 05/17/2014 EDD: 1/25/15 MMC: 06/30/2014
With my son, though, he caught on a lot quicker, I did not have extended struggles to get him to latch properly, etc. Although, I would not let-down until he had been sucking for a while, which was very different than what I experienced with my daughter. I nursed on demand while I was home with him, but when I went back to work, I couldn't keep up with a pumping schedule, and he wound up having half BM and half formula during the days while I continued to nurse him at night. And surprisingly, it didn't bother me at all. I knew my time was important, and if I was taking 30 minutes out of my precious time at home with my kids to pump, I said F it and cut out pumping all together when he was about 8 months old. He gets formula during the day and boobie at night/overnight/morning. He gets so excited to see his "babas" and also when we turn the lights out at bed time, he gets so happy that it's booby time.
AND, it doesn't always have to be one or the other 100%. If you only have enough milk for one or two feedings, that's ok. If you decide to just switch to formula, that's ok, too! Could I have tried harder to work pumping into my schedule to be able to have enough for him? Sure, but lack of stress was more important to me. My son was getting fed either way, and I was happier for it. He still gets his baba before nap times, and I will continue to nurse him at night for as long as he wants.
We all have our own reasons for how we feed our babies, and I'm not gonna lose sleep over it.
Okay, for the people who do make a choice, it is a choice, and it is theirs, and I respect it. For the women who do not have the choice, that is awful. I can't relate, but can only imagine how frustrating it must be.
DD: 10 (born August 2004)
Married 03/01/14
TTC#2
BFP: 05/17/2014 EDD: 1/25/15 MMC: 06/30/2014
FYI the only thing I edited was my opening post. It's a new day. I apologized. I can't believe you are still jumping down my throat about this.
No one is jumping down your throat. Like I've said before, this is tame for TB.
If this is tame, I'm not looking forward to the next 8 months. I understand people have strong feelings about a subject, but just because we're behind a computer & no one knows us, doesn't mean we can't be accountable in being decent to people who differ in opinion.
This is not a "get rid of my frustration board because you don't know me..."
I hope we can be civil. This is a very sensitive & emotional time for all of us.
It's supposed to be supportive, not vicious or malicious.
why is it that "supply issues" is the only reason considered acceptable by so many pro-BFers, and everything is else is labeled a "choice"? didn't feel like much of a choice to me, and 4 years later i STILL feel guilty for giving up, even though i shouldn't.
BFP#1 EDD 04.20.2010, SUNSHINE baby boy born 03.31.2010
BFP#2 EDD 12.07.2014, natural mc 04.09.2014 at 5w3d
BFP#3 EDD 01.14.15, RAINBOW baby girl born 01.16.2015
jan'15 january siggy challenge: baby fails
The only malicious or vicious posts I have seen have been the extremely ignorant ones.
I'm sorry you feel that you're being put down, but you said some pretty loaded and extraordinarily ignorant things.
Some people BF, some people don't. Some it's a personal choice, others have reasoning in which they have no choice. My mom did not BF any of her four children and I think we all turned out alright lol. I'm going to try it out, but hope I don't get shunned if it doesn't go as planned.
I understand that things are not always that easy, but I hate that breastfeeding is always portrayed as this painful, terribly difficult journey. It isn't always.
Did I spend time pumping? Yes, I was doing my externship 40 hours/week. Did I get up multiple times a night? Yes, a newborn/infant's stomach is small. They are not meant to sleep for more than a few hours. Was the lack of sleep difficult? Kinda, but I just reminded myself that I was putting the needs of my son first.
I felt 'letdown' once, the day my milk came in. Never after that. I didn't focus on foremilk/hind milk and didn't stress about how much he was getting. If he was hungry, I nursed him. Simple as that. He is on the smaller side, but very healthy.
I understand that some women can't breastfeed, and I sympathize for them. I also understand that some women don't want to commit to pumping and middle of the night feedings, and I sympathize for them.
I do not understand why anyone would actively choose not to breastfeed. The reasons I've been given by family are that it's gross, that their breasts belong to themselves, and that their husbands are boob men. The first is ridiculous, and the other two are selfish.
I'm sure I sound judgemental. I am interested in hearing a single reason someone chose not to breastfeed (without even trying) that isn't inaccurate or selfish.
That being said, no one has to explain themselves to me. It isn't my job to tell you whether you are a good mom or not. You know that you do what you feel is best for your child. That's all any of us do. I'm not trying to judge people, I just truly do not understand that decision.
Personally, I feel like formula would be more stressful. All the mixing and trying to figure out how much to.prepare, and all the dishes. But that's just me.
I'm thankful for the block feature :-)
It was nice hearing everyone's experiences, though. It makes me feel better about not wanting to BF.
Fur Babies: Mack, Bahamut, and Iwo Jima
"I knew I would breastfeed before I got pregnant. There was no try about it."
I'm with you 100%. It's a decision to make before you give birth. Then Mother Nature takes over - but we should try. If it doesn't work then, it just doesn't.
BFing was easy for me. Very natural, like second nature. Not all moms are that blessed or feel that maternal instinct or conviction to do it.
We will ALL LOVE our babies & do what we believe is the best for our children. That's what matters...
DSS: 15 DS: 7
DD born 1/3/15
Super informative thread though! I'm a first time mom and I had NO idea breast feeding was so hard or had to be done so frequently. I was planning on doing it but I guess we'll have to see if it works out.