How to know when you're ready for #2?

OakTreeMommy · May 2014

I just recently got my first PP AF and now the big debate. Do we TTC now or wait?

We both want a second child for sure. I think siblings are the best thing and DS clearly would love someone to play with.

But now that the time is approaching to TTC I don't know that I'm totally ready. But I'm also afraid that I may never feel totally ready.

I feel like now that I really know what to expect with a newborn and handling that with a toddler I'm scared.

Anyone else have similar feelings before TTC #2? Or how did you know you were ready?

DCKate · May 2014

I will be following this thread as I'm in the same boat!

this decaf life · May 2014

I'm definitely not ready and I think DD deserves to be an only child for at least a couple years. If we have another baby it'll be when DD is about 4 [maybe close to 5]

AllieMag24 · May 2014

I started TTC right after I started ovulation after DD1 (14 months) mostly because I was already 36 and didn't want to waste time in case we had trouble. Happily, it happened on the second month so the girls are 25 months apart...if I'd known we'd have such an easy time, I might have waited a bit longer.

JJsMum · May 2014

I second what @PrivacyWanted said. I think you just know.

We knew when DS#1 was about 6 months old and reliably sleeping through the night that we were ready. We ended up holding off 3 more months, but then got pregnant the first cycle. Unfortunately we lost that one, but started trying again as soon as the OB cleared me. With Si, we knew coming home from the hospital (I know, we're crazy) that we wanted another. We started trying again right around when DS#2 was 10 months. For us, it just works. We knew we wanted our kids close in age (the boys will be sharing a room when #3 gets here), so it was always just a matter of feeling ready.

meggiev123 · May 2014

As PP said, I think you just need to trust your gut on this. Everyone's personal situation is a bit different which guides them to different milestones. For us, like others, when we started TTC with #2 we just knew that it fit in with our life plan (we're older, DH in particular and know we want at least 2) and that this was as good a time for lots of reasons. We've definitely had some "oh shit" moments since we found out that we're pregnant, especially when DD is having a hard day, but in general we're just very excited.

ungraceful13 · May 2014

We were told we couldn't have kids naturally so after having DD we knew we wanted her to have a sibling so we started trying right away and got lucky. After getting the BFP I got scared but that has eased up. There is difficulty to each age gap.

mellie86041 · May 2014

I wanted a second the day DD turned one, but I think I just really wanted my tiny snuggly baby back since DD is so independent! DH and I agreed that we wanted our kids to be at least two years apart, if not more. And we were going with the whole, we're not actively trying, but we're not preventing, so we'll see what happens mentality. I don't think either of us expected #2 as soon as we started again!

Jessie333 · May 2014

I was ready to try for a second when DD was a couple months old. I'm crazy, I know. But I didn't get my period until I stopped breastfeeding. DD is awesome with babies so I am really excited to see her as a big sister. :-)

spainy17 · May 2014

I well be following this thread too because I know I'm just not there yet. Logically I want a sibling for DD but because we had so many issues with her I really didn't enjoy the little baby phase and I'm terrified of going through that again. I know in my head it probably will be different with a second but ill also have a toddler so it just freaks me out. I am in love with the age we are at and wish I could skip the hard stuff in the beginning. That being said I do miss the excitement of pregnancy and if I can make something I love even half as much as DD then it is worth it. Sigh. I hope that someday feels right.

lulamagoo · May 2014

We want a second, but the thought of a newborn right now makes me nauseous. We want more time with just the three of us.

One other big factor is potty training. Ideally, we would only have one in cloth diapers at a time so I am not constantly doing laundry.

We just aren't ready for a second child yet. We are ready for an adult vacation.

sekura · May 2014

I'm much like ungraceful--I didn't really have much hope of conceiving naturally, with my first son being from an egg donor. I was incredibly shocked to get pregnant when he was 10 months old (obviously we weren't trying to prevent). I've never even thought about whether or not I was ready--this is just happening. Its funny to think about how unplanned this second child is, when we had so much trouble the first time around. I will love him anyway, and life will be what it will be.

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