Parenting Check-In

Jazibel · May 2014

Good Morning Everyone,

How was your weekend. Any new developments, challenges or successes with your LO(s)?

QOTD: What is your LO(s) favorite activity, food and book?

Another QOTD: For those who have (or had) childcare for your LO(s) - what are some of the things you love about your childcare provider/daycare?

PIP (Picture in Post) always welcome!!

JGY · May 2014

Hi Everyone,

We had a lot of fun this weekend. One of the teams S works with was hosting an NCAA regional, so we spent a lot of time over at the field. The weather was absolutely gorgeous!

Lately we are mostly dealing with mini-tantrum behavior. It's G's response to pretty much everything, and it's reasonably short-lived but still unsavory. As for positive new developments, I swear it's something new every day. This weekend he sat himself down with a book, and opened it up to look at it. He actually realized it was upside down, and turned it right side up and then continued to page through it. We couldn't believe that!

QOTD: Activity - as of this weekend, playing with the cat. To this point the cat has been extremely tolerant, we'll see if that lasts! Food - Tomatoes. Little weirdo. He eats them like candy, closing his eyes with each bite and letting out a "MmmmmMMMMMmmmm." Book - it's a tie between Brown Bear Brown Bear, and Dear Zoo.

QOTD #2: I'm sure you guys are sick of me talking about how much I love my daycare, but ... you asked! I love:

Only employ full-time staff, VERY low turnover rate, amazing people who clearly care and I know they are being paid a living wage (albeit on the low side of living wage due to industry standard)

Cloth diapers (they provide)

Organic, locally-sourced food (when possible) with no added sugar or salt (they provide)

Bilingual (Spanish immersion for infants, then bilingual in toddler and up through Pre-K)

They hug and kiss my child

Baby sign

Close to home and work

Bonus PIP - G in his getup at the field this weekend (excuse my thumb):

mwagner25 · May 2014

Hello all! We are doing well over here. Oliver is tons of fun right now, we started mommy and me yoga and he LOVES it. We leave tomorrow to take him to the country to visit L's grandpa. We are going to leave at nap time but not sure how the drive will go. It is about a 3 hour trip. I always love going to the country. Our cell phones don't work, there is no internet, so it is always a nice escape from everything. Not much else new here, we are still trying new foods with Oliver and found that he loves hummus. Hope everyone else is doing well.

QOTD: favorite activity right now is jumping in his exersaucer, he will jump for 20-30 minutes while "singing" or "talking" to his toys. Favorite food is any fruits, hummus, sweet potato... Who am I kidding he loves every food except peas and green beans. Favorite book is "Peek a Who" and "If I were an owl"

ATXmommas · May 2014

Seems like a lot went on thus past week!

First, I think it was @jrtmom‌ that offered some great advice a week or two ago that got me through a temporary supply dip unscathed. She suggested not supplementing pumped milk with frozen milk so that LO would eat more with me, which would tell my body to being up my supply. Worked like a charm!

Second, we has our first night out without baby on Saturday and lived to tell about it. It did involve me hand expressing milk into a bottle in a bathroom and more than typical nighttime nursing sessions when I returned home, but it was nice to get out.

Third, we explored several more solid foods! He loves zucchini and seemed to enjoy the broccoli and sweet potato we gave him last night - see PIPs. He would not eat bananas I gave him in the morning, but despite rejecting avocados last week he did enjoy sucking some guacamole (with tiny chunks of avocado) off my finger. BLW is going great, but I'm not sure how it will work once we are ready to send food with him to school. Anyone have any experience with this? I'm ok with just giving him food on the evenings for now, and I'm bit sure how his school will react to letting him feed himself vs spoon feeding him.

Finally, received word that our adoption hearing will be set for June, though not sure of specific date yet.

One more thing - I was offered and accepted the director position, so I hope my stress level levels out soon!

QOTW: I can't tell that LO has a favorite, but I love the very hungry caterpillar book. So far, he seems to really dig zucchini. He loves exploring on the floor - we put him on a blanket with toys and he can entertain himself for quite a while while we're cooking/cleaning/etc.

PIP:

First taste of broccoli -

Some broccoli and sweet potato smeared on his face (along with many other places!)

The aftermath

Pinkspark · May 2014

Hello everyone!

Last week was quite the rollercoaster. My little man had his second cast put on for club foot, and my little lady had her heart procedure. Both went well- and I'm really glad to have the heart procedure behind us. Both babies are doing really awesome, and really love to chow down and nap. I wish I could nap as easy as them!

JGY · May 2014

@pinkspark I'm so glad to hear that things went well last week, and that the heart procedure is behind you! Not sure how you deal with the stress of these health issues with both of your kiddos, but you're doing an amazing job!

Jazibel · May 2014

@pinkspark - glad to hear everything is going well with your LO(s). I hope the stress is behind you :-)

@mamosey - sending you positive thoughts for an easy transition this week.

We had a good weekend. The boys and I went on our first outings solo and we all survived and even had a little fun. :-) Today I'm home by myself (EV's back at work). It's 1pm and we're all hanging in there. Their napping and I should be too - but I have a few bills to pay first. Gotta keep the lights on ;-)

Last night was hard. Kaden has been teething a molar this last week. Yikes - its been rough and he's been in a lot of pain. We've given him advil off and on, and last night he woke after 11pm (I was still up with Owen), screaming. I've never seen him so distraught it was pretty heartbreaking. Meanwhile Owen cluster feeds in the evening and at night so he was crying fitfully too. EV jumped in to help distract Kaden until the advil could kick in. Ugh it was pretty rough. Needless to say I didn't get to sleep until 1:30am...

The adjustment to being a family of four is going well for us adults, and I think Kaden is warming up on all fronts to having a brother. We've put in a lot of effort to minimize jealousy, etc., and I believe its paying off. We've had several days without a jealous outburst from Kaden. And I continue to be super proactive to meet both their needs and to watch for trigger situations (such as Kaden being hungry for a meal and being forced to wait on Owen nursing).

We're back on the potty training wagon. I had fizzled out in the last couple of weeks/months because at 8-9 months pregnant I couldn't get down on the floor to help facilitate potty training (and cleaning up) that easily. Last week I found several potty training books and a video at the library and we've been reading them to get Kaden excited about using his potty again.

QOTD: Favorite activity - is riding his balance bike and running as fast as he can back and forth or around in circles. Favorite food - chicken. He also loves ketchup and sour cream. Favorite book - all of them. A recent favorite library book was "Six Dinner Sid" which is a cute book about a cat. I just added it to the Amazon cart.

I asked the second QOTD because we're starting to look into childcare options. It's a daunting undertaking, especially for 2 kiddos. I think I'll make a list of how I'd "ideally" envision Kaden and Owen spending their days, and what our core philosophies and wish lists items are (like cloth diapers, and organic food) and see what I can find to match that list. @JGY - your daycare sounds amazing!

JGY · May 2014

@herbabymama I'm so sorry things are difficult at work. Trust me when I say I've been there! Is there any chance of you finding a new job? I know it might seem impossible right now, I sure thought it was for me, but I found ways to make it work. I desperately miss the work I did at my old job, but being away from my former boss (abusive a$$) and having regular work hours with no travel is SOO worth it to be there for my little guy.

Good luck! I'm thinking extra special thoughts for you today.

ATXmommas · May 2014

@jrtmom‌ - horrible advice! Nursing only 4 times a day? Crazy. How often do you offer solids? We're starting with evenings, which I think is totally fine for now, but wondering when we need to start offering more. I don't see any need to send food to day care with him yet, but one of his teachers asked me about it today. I told her we have his 6-month well check on Thursday and she told me to ask the dr how much milk/food he should be eating since he eats so much less than the other kiddos his age. She followed up by saying she wasn't worried about him. Eye roll. He's a healthy, growing boy who is very active - started army crawling some last week and is getting on his hands and knees - so I'm not sure why she thinks I don't know what I'm doing. Argh. Sorry for that tangent

@jazibel - I didn't answer your question about child care. I like our school just fine - but that's about it, which sounds terrible. Don't get me wrong - the teachers are kind and loving and he seems really happy and content. And the operation had a pretty good compliance history with state regulations. I just get frustrated because I do things a little differently than the norm and his teachers just don't get it, so I feel frustrated sometimes. I've thought about moving him, but the options are somewhat limited if we want to stay in the same area, same tuition range, and will go with the flow. it's not off the table, though. Anyway, good for you to think through your philosophies before looking for a good match.

ATXmommas · May 2014

@herbabymama‌ - hugs to you. I'm so sorry your boss is giving you a hard time. That definitely makes the transition unnecessarily more difficult than it already is.

trisholio · May 2014

I am a little late to the game today, its been a crazy day. The girls had a WIC appointment this morning, I promised M we would go to the park if she was good....and she actually listened! So we spent some time outside before naptime. After they woke up I had to get an over night bag together for them. They are staying at another families house tonight because we have our CPR recertification all day tomorrow at our foster agency and it was just easier to have another foster family keep them over night instead of just during the day tomorrow. So I am sitting here with no kiddos for the night and I have no idea what to do with myself besides think of sleep!

Both girls are growing like crazy and learning new stuff each day. K is finally sleeping thru the night and taking consistent naps during the day. She just had a third tooth pop thru, so she has been a little fussy, but is usually a happy baby. M has started the "WHY?" stage, ugh, it is so challenging!!

QOTD: M favorite food is probably spaghetti and K loves pumpkin/banana organic baby food

They both love going to the park and going on the swings.

QOTD 2: I don't plan on sending my kids to day care, but I would probably want a smaller in home provider instead of a larger center.

Here is a picture of baby K crawling up the stairs for the first time today. She did awesome!

Pinkspark · May 2014

@herbabymama yikes.. I'm really sorry you have to put up with that awful work environment.

Jazibel · May 2014

@herbabymama - so sorry your boss is not being more supportive. It's so stressful to transition back and away from the LO(s) anyway. EV had a crummy boss a couple years ago that made life hard when she got back, and all she wanted to do was be home with us. I hope that it eases up. I usually advocate for putting up a fight, but your DW might be right on this one. Sometimes its not worth it

We're getting more mobile as a family of four so maybe we can connect sometime in June of a free weekend day in Santa Cruz? Hopefully by then things have simmered down at work (and for us here at home).

@Mamosey - I have my favorite brands of cloth diapers too. I'm not sure of the brand of flips? But I really like the AOI (all in ones), and the covers with an insert or prefold inside. The thirsty brand is working pretty well and is the only one that won't leak with Owen's tiny bum :-)

@ATXmommas - thanks for posting about your daycare. I think one of the things I worry about is having to constantly explain my parenting choices. I see that from you posts that you sometimes have this experience. I realize I will need to compromise on certain things, but I'm hoping that the choices we make will be respected. It's been helpful to hear the experiences of other people on this board as we move in this direction. There are also surprisingly few choices in our area too (that are even kind of affordable).

@jrtmom - good luck with your pediatrician search. I think nursing only 4x per day would be very challenging. Kaden nursed more than 4x per day until I purposefully weaned him around a year (and that was to start TTC, I needed to regulate my cycle).

2brides · May 2014

How was your weekend. Any new developments, challenges or successes with your LO(s)? I am a newly minted parent of 8y olds! Their party went great and it was the perfect number of kids (given it was at our house!) and L did a great job with the Minecraft theme. They slept over at a friend's house Friday night so we could focus on the party and then that friend spent the night with us Sunday so her parents could celebrate their anniversary. Needless to say, Gray was a bear yesterday morning. Just too much.

QOTD: What is your LO(s) favorite activity, food and book? Carter is into sports (football, basketball, and soccer) - he loves to read and learn about the sports and can rattle off a crazy number of sports related facts. Grayson is into Minecraft and Terreria (both online multi player games in which he connects with Carter) and he loves to read books about it and "how to" books. Carter's favorite food is either the rice from Chipotle or Pollo Campero (fried chicken place.) Gray loves Pollo Campero any anything sweet.

Another QOTD: For those who have (or had) childcare for your LO(s) - what are some of the things you love about your childcare provider/daycare? We had a nanny for the first 3y. It was awesome. She adored the boys and they adored her (many times they preferred her over us!) She became like part of our family and really built a wonderful foundation for the boys. They went to full day PK at 3y (our nanny moved) it was fine - nothing fabulous - but the kids liked the teachers and were safe and happy. We moved them to their current school for PK4 and the teacher was amazing. We've been fortunate at their school - Carter is a very wiggly kid and had a hard time sitting in circle time (on his head, rolling around, touching other kids...) and none of the teachers made him/us feel badly about it - they worked on finding strategies that helped without feeling punitive. I think it helped the PK-1st grade teachers all had sons.

JGY · May 2014

Well mother effing eff. Gabe's blood tests for allergies came back. Dog, cat, eggs, wheat. Seriously??? WTF??

Dog, cat and egg were all considered "Moderate response" and likely more of a contributing factor to the overall allergic load, but wheat was a "Very high response, highly clinically relevant." Shit.

Time for a reality check. My kid has a food allergy. Am I upset/irritated/nervous/overwhelmed? Yes. Is it the end of the world? No. I have a close friend who will be having a c-section on Thursday to deliver a baby at 37 weeks with a congenital diaphragmatic hernia. I guess I can suck it up.

JGY · May 2014

@stringy813 - I can't recall if I previously posted about allergies/reactions or not. Gabe has had eczema on his back for a few months now. We thought it might be a milk allergy and went to the Dr. (we are thinking about switching now) who basically said "Yeah, maybe, cut it out and see what happens." Then last week he had a more acute reaction to something; he sprouted hives and then woke up with his hands and feet a bright red and his eyes swollen and red. Back to the Dr. we went and she decided to run a panel of allergy blood tests. It's interesting, the eczema doesn't seem to bother him at all; he's not itchy and doesn't seem uncomfortable, but that one incident was certainly disturbing. I have to admit though, I really wasn't prepared for the results of the test. Thankfully the cat and dog allergies were more mild, since we have both and they are a part of the family. But the wheat allergy is daunting to this beer drinking, pasta loving lady.

@jrtmom I'm glad you switched Dr's. That advice was whack. "Food before one is just for fun." The commonly accepted recommendation is that solids are always offered AFTER breastmilk/formula prior to 1 year of age as all of their nutritional needs should be met by the milk. Glad you went with your gut.

I am also interested to hear about the weaning experience @jazibel. It just seems such an impossibility right now, but since I have yet to start cycling again (not that I mind going 2 years without a period), it's looking like I might have to think more seriously about doing it sooner rather than later.

CageyMack · May 2014

@JGY Oh, man! Just got around to reading the parenting thread and I'm shocked for you. How hard! It sounds like one of those total head scratchers when it just feel like random stuff. You sound like you have a good perspective on it, but, yeah, man. Sheesh. Lotta rice pasta for that kid, huh?

@herbabymama I really feel for you. That is exactly the kind of stuff I can't stand. People really do treat pregnant women and moms differently. It is absolutely not a joke. Don't let this woman get you down. I know you probably don't want to fight it, but it might be worth making a mention to at HR. Just so it is on record. Good luck! Also, way to pump and bump! Though that sounds dirty.

JGY · May 2014

@cageymack, thanks! We're trying to take it in stride, but I had a big ol' "Poor us" moment last night. I took Gabe to my softball game and there was another toddler there. Gabe had his dinner and snacks, and so did the other kiddo. At one point they wanted to share and Gabe was carrying around the other kid's snack container. It hit me like a ton of bricks that we couldn't just allow him to do that ... the other kid had crackers and cheerios and a mixture of things in there.

I guess the good news is that we haven't seen anything like anaphylaxis. At this time it's just eczema (which doesn't seem to bother HIM in the slightest).

BTW, "Pump and bump" is my new favorite phrase. And I do it ALL the time.

Jazibel · May 2014

My mobile bump has not been allowing me to post

Sorry for not replying earlier @JGY & @jrtmom

Weaning Kaden actually went fairly easily. I didn't cycle for nearly the whole year until sometime in May and June (and received positive OPKs). But my cycles were wonky (very long, short AF's, etc.) Because we were aiming to begin TTC when Kaden was about a year, I started cutting back to 2-3 nursing sessions per day in June. Kaden was already eating solids at all meals with us. I also started offering cows milk, or coconut milk (or most often a mix). My goal was to bring back a more track-able cycle. The cutting back worked, and Kaden seemed happy nursing just those few times per day. He was becoming so active and far less interested in long nursing sessions at the time. We tried on our end of July cycle (around early August) and became pregnant. It was an odd time for us because we'd traveled back to California (from Roatan, Honduras) and were living in a small apartment with our friends while both couples were TTC (with the the same donor). On top of all of those stresses Kaden, EV and I caught a cold. I actually nursed Kaden many times a night during our TTC week, since he was waking often and needed the comfort. I think that the more constant nursing led to my bleeding around CD 10 to 15+. I got a positive BFP on CD 15 (I only took a pregnancy test because my temps were very high, I had already assumed I was out for that cycle, since I had what I assumed to by my period). I continued to spot and bleed every other day or so for the next week until we figured out that my spotting was likely related to nursing at night. So I stopped cold turkey. After Kaden got over the cold I'd cut back to nursing 1-2x per day, mostly to get him to sleep, and if he woke up. When we went cold turkey I supplemented a bottle during those sessions. Kaden didn't seem to mind, in fact for the first time he started sleeping through the night. He's consistently slept all night since I weaned. (For which I've been grateful - even 9 months of great sleep has helped me prepare to be the Mama of a newborn again! ;-)

Sorry for that long description (last night was a long night with little sleep...) Anyway I think what worked the best for us is we cut back over 2+ months, and introduced other milk options instead of nursing. We eventually cut back on giving bottles with every nap/bedtime because with all the food he was eating it was just too many "empty" calories per day. At some point when he was around 15-16 months (maybe more) we stopped giving bottles all together, he just wasn't interested anymore so we transitioned to all sippy/straw cups.

I think if we hadn/t TTC I would have nursed longer, but at the same time Kaden seemed ready around the time we started cutting back. Besides that he was such a big kid, wrestling him onto my lap wasn't as cozy as it had been a few months before ;-)

I'd love to hear what you're thinking of doing and I look forward to updates :-)

Pinkspark · May 2014

stringy813 said:

@mamosey I didn't remember you were in Boston! Diaper Lab is super helpful, although I was in there the other week and they didn't have a ton in stock (of what I use at least). Also diaper lab will buy used back for store credit, if you have a whole lot to get rid of. Only at like 40-50% new though - you can get more on line but it takes more work to post and ship etc. Good luck!

I also really liked The Diaper Lab! We ended up not going the CD route, but I went to a CD workshop one night and they were fantastic and super nice!

Jazibel · May 2014

@jrtmom - I look forward to hearing your story unfold. I hope the process is easy for you (both weaning and TTC #2). I was 36 when I got pregnant with Owen too :-)

JGY · May 2014

@jazibel @stringy813 @jrtmom I have so much that I want to write/say about weaning and bottles and potential for kid #2. But work is absolutely nuts for me right now. Hopefully no one minds if we keep this thread going through the week. I'll try to get back on here tonight or tomorrow and put some of my thoughts down.

For the record, S and I plan to sit down tonight after Gabe goes to bed, and lay out a plan for night-weaning. We're just there. We both SO need to sleep, and after another long night last night where I ended up in the crib with Gabe after nursing him for close to an hour ... well, we've got to make some changes.

Hugs to all of you! I so appreciate this forum.

ETA - to edit S's full name back to a letter. Sometimes I don't think before I type.

JGY · May 2014

@stringy813, I will start a new thread - good reminder.

And to answer your question, this is about the 3rd time I've ever done this. I'm not proud of it but it's a total last resort. The other times he has fallen asleep (finally) and I've been able to crawl out and go to bed. Last night he just wouldn't go to sleep and S ended up hearing him, coming in, kicking me out, and he was asleep in 10 minutes. Go figure.

Jazibel · May 2014

@JGY - wait how did you crawl into the crib? I'm trying to picture myself doing that and I don't think I'm agile enough - I wish we had a pic :-) I've definitely fallen asleep next to the crib on the floor, my hand crammed between the bars trying to pat Kaden's back....

Jazibel · May 2014

Ok on the topic of nursing. When did you introduce a bottle for the first time. (If this has been discussed before and I missed it - apologies) :-)

ATXmommas · May 2014

Z sometimes gets in the crib with Ash - just for fun, though, since he doesn't sleep there. That's just my Z!

I'm interested in the topic of weaning too, although the earliest I'll wean us a year. Lots of thoughts/questions on this, so I too would love a continued discussion.

ATXmommas · May 2014

stringy813 said:

Jazibel said:

Ok on the topic of nursing. When did you introduce a bottle for the first time. (If this has been discussed before and I missed it - apologies) :-)

Not sure if this was directed at anyone in particular. We did it a little sooner than is usually recommended but not super early. Maybe 2-3 weeks? And it was more of a "lets see if this will work" kind of thing. Didn't do it regularly for a few months, maybe just a few times a week for practice.

We introduced at 3 weeks. Have him about one bottle every 3 days or so. I was advised by some very pro-BF doulas to give by 3 weeks to ensure he would take one when he started to go to child care at 3 months. We didn't have any issues with starting then.

Jazibel · May 2014

@stringy813 & @atxmommas - thank you :-) I was thinking of starting this week (Owen turns 3 weeks old today) because I want to be sure that he'll be "bottle positive" for future daycare/childcare. Kaden kind of fought the bottle for a while (we tried lots of different options) but we also waited until 6 weeks+ to offer him a bottle for the first time.

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