NBR: What do you wish was illegal? - Page 2 — The Bump
November 2014 Moms

NBR: What do you wish was illegal?

2

Re: NBR: What do you wish was illegal?

  • Smoking directly outside of a non smoking establishment. I'm really not a fan of walking through a cloud of smoke with my kids while entering the grocery store.

    4 way stops! NO ONE knows what to do at these damn things. People are always sitting and staring each other or slowly inching forward at the same time! This should be a fairly easy concept to grasp but somehow is super inefficient.
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  • Kristy774 said:

    Kristy774 said:

    Deardra77 said:



    Mine was going to be smoking in cars with kids or pets, but since that's already been said...my second is putting an infant car seat in the part of a shopping cart where kids sit. This makes me cringe when I see people doing this.

    So.much.this!!!! I mean seriously, what are these parents thinking? Don't they realize their baby could be killed by hitting the floor if they tip off?
    Both of my infant carriers actually locked into the front of the shopping cart. For my baby to be taken out you would need to press a button and move a lever at the exact same time otherwise that sucker wasn't going anywhere unless a grown man threw his body at the cart and flipped the entire cart sideways and even then it would have stayed locked and connected on the front seat with my baby safely strapped in to it.

    Are you guys 1st time moms?
    No, I'm not a first time mom.

    Oh, I figured you would know that then.

    Before judging someone's baby in a shopping cart, you should know if the infant carrier locks in to it or not. I'm a mom of 2 boys with a 3rd on the way and I'd NEVER throw my baby up in a shopping cart without it being completely secure. Those other mothers you are judging most likely had the same infant carrier.

    I never said I was judging. I said it makes me cringe. I personally know someone who put their baby in a car seat unsecured on a shopping cart because they didn't realize that the baby could fall out. They turned away for a half a second and the baby fell and cracked their skull. So, yeah, it makes me cringe.

     

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  • Kristy774 said:
    Mine was going to be smoking in cars with kids or pets, but since that's already been said...my second is putting an infant car seat in the part of a shopping cart where kids sit. This makes me cringe when I see people doing this.
    So.much.this!!!! I mean seriously, what are these parents thinking? Don't they realize their baby could be killed by hitting the floor if they tip off?
    Both of my infant carriers actually locked into the front of the shopping cart. For my baby to be taken out you would need to press a button and move a lever at the exact same time otherwise that sucker wasn't going anywhere unless a grown man threw his body at the cart and flipped the entire cart sideways and even then it would have stayed locked and connected on the front seat with my baby safely strapped in to it. Are you guys 1st time moms?
    Not a first time Mum but work in risk management and actually see the cases of where this has happened and the law suits and injuries resulting for this behavior,
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  • Kristy774 said:

    I think it should absolutely positively be against the law to let your children play outside unattended without adult supervision. And I think the age limit should be 6 or 8.

    I let my kids play in our fully fenced back yard. I have the sliding glass door open and check on them frequently. I don't feel like this is dangerous.
    CPM13Carebella
  • Spitting in public should be illegal. I can't stand watching people hawk. Ughhh. *retching*

    I am one of the guilty ones that used to put baby carrier on the cart kids seat because otherwise, how am I going to load up my cart? That time, I was a first time mom! How can I shop otherwise? Plus I always made sure my babies were buckled in and the handle up. Eventually my oldest DS sat on the kid seat then my DD carrier would be in the basket or in a sling. I think that I would have this baby in a sling most of the time anyways while I'm shopping. Looking back, I should've known better! ;)

    My DD is 7 and my DS is 9. I make them walk to school daily but we only live two blocks. I also let them play outside since DS was 7. I implement the 'buddy system' DS and DD is not allowed to be alone outside. They have to buddy up. Period. If they walk home from school, they must walk together. I have my moments where I feel really overprotective and I shoot out of the house looking for them but here they are, walking up the sidewalk.

    I want to give my kids as much freedom as possible and they know their boundaries. They know if they don't follow my rules, they're grounded just like that *snaps* but same time, I live in suburbs and in a very safe area. I do check on them occasionally and I constantly remind them of my rules. If I live in a urban/unsafe area, I'd never let them outside alone! I guess each parents use their best judgement as possible.

    The neighbors across the street is another story. I don't get them... We live in a new development so few houses down is under construction. My kids knows the rules, they cannot walk there but recently they broke the rules and they got grounded. My FI busted DD and DS w the neighbor boys in one of the garages and yelled at the kids to get out there immediately. The neighbor (the mom) was within hearing distance and she didn't bother to do ANYTHING. The fuck? Their boys could get HURT and the mom didn't say anything and basically ignored what's going on. My kids got grounded and I outlined all the scary stuff that could happen. DS assured me he wouldn't do these every time he went out so he knows... But gah. At the end of the week one of neighbor boy (we don't know which house) came over and asked to play w DS. We told him why DS is grounded. The boy said 'oh. Those houses isn't important. I found a spray can in one of the houses and spray paint the dumpster' like it was nothing. *mouth hangs open*.

    Sorry this is so long but I think it also depends on parents and disclpline. I'm not overly strict. My kids have a lot of freedom but they do know their boundaries and I check on them a lot.
    Carebella
  • OlegnaOlegna member
    Smoking in buildings or with kids in the car. Nothing against smokers; but it effects others. Abusing drugs during pregnancy. Many of those babies don't see their 1st birthday.
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  • Kristy774 said:

    STOP POSTING. SERIOUSLY.

    Calm your tits. I do recall seeing something in the original post about today mentioning folks shouldn't get all militant about it.
    I've just got to say one more thing on this, and then I'm done....if it was YOU @Econosaurus‌ or YOU @Carebella‌ or YOU @RachelC79‌ that was put in the same circumstance as Lisa was, Lisa would have been the first one to not tolerate idiotic posts during the moment of silence if it had been for YOU, SHE would have taken up for all 3 of you and it honestly blows my fucking my mind that this was so hard for you 3 and that you could be do disrespectful to someone who's suffering such a horrible loss.


    And I added @Carebella‌ and @RachelC79‌ because you love titted @Econosaurus‌ post and you should not fly under the radar on this, if that's how you feel, great, just 3 more people I don't need to interact with anymore. Consider yourselves on the black post it note.
    Maelara[Deleted User]
  • Kristy774Kristy774 member
    edited May 2014
    @Aaren91011‌

    All I'm going to say, is that I've spoken with Lisa directly via PM, she PM'd me about this specifically and nothing I've said or done has offended her or made her upset.

    My feelings are my feelings, if someone is going to post "calm your tits" on a day we are being silent for another bumpies loss and disregard what we were trying to do, I have no desire to be friendly with them.
  • abbyfulabbyful member
    edited May 2014
    Maelara said:
    snip

    I think we all need to remember that we grew up in a different, safer time period. Now a days, it's not safe anywhere. I live in a great area and one day a couple years ago I had to chase away a man in an old car trying to get kids to 'take a ride'. I, of course, also called the cops and I sent my dogs after him. We don't live in a safe time. To think otherwise is extremely naive. ETA - I want to add, he was after 10 and 11 year olds walking home from school. It was scary as hell and a huge wake up call to just how dangerous things are. Things like that just don't happen here.
    The world isn't really more dangerous than it was 30 years ago, statistically crime rates have stayed pretty flat. (And your child is far more likely to be harmed by someone they know: family member, babysitter, teacher, etc., than by a stranger. Stranger abductions, murders, rape/molestation, etc., are very rare.) We are just more connected and we hear about EVERYTHING now, whereas 30 years ago you only mostly heard of news from your local area or your state.

    Kristy774 said:
    snip
    Both of my infant carriers actually locked into the front of the shopping cart. For my baby to be taken out you would need to press a button and move a lever at the exact same time otherwise that sucker wasn't going anywhere unless a grown man threw his body at the cart and flipped the entire cart sideways and even then it would have stayed locked and connected on the front seat with my baby safely strapped in to it. Are you guys 1st time moms?
    You may THINK they lock in, but they aren't designed for that. Infant seats are made to lock into bases, that's it. You can actually damage the locking mechanism by attaching them to shopping carts.

    And it's a lot easier for a shopping cart to tip over than you think. Especially when an infant seat on top has changed the center of gravity.

    And no, I'm not a FTM. 



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  • Kristy774Kristy774 member
    edited May 2014
    abbyful said:


    Maelara said:


    snip




    I think we all need to remember that we grew up in a different, safer time period. Now a days, it's not safe anywhere. I live in a great area and one day a couple years ago I had to chase away a man in an old car trying to get kids to 'take a ride'. I, of course, also called the cops and I sent my dogs after him. We don't live in a safe time. To think otherwise is extremely naive. ETA - I want to add, he was after 10 and 11 year olds walking home from school. It was scary as hell and a huge wake up call to just how dangerous things are. Things like that just don't happen here.

    The world isn't really more dangerous than it was 30 years ago, statistically crime rates have stayed pretty flat. (And your child is far more likely to be harmed by someone they know: family member, babysitter, teacher, etc., than by a stranger. Stranger abductions, murders, rape/molestation, etc., very rarely are done by strangers.) We are just more connected and we hear about EVERYTHING now, whereas 30 years ago you only mostly heard of news from your local area or your state.


    Kristy774 said:

    Deardra77 said:


    snip
    Both of my infant carriers actually locked into the front of the shopping cart. For my baby to be taken out you would need to press a button and move a lever at the exact same time otherwise that sucker wasn't going anywhere unless a grown man threw his body at the cart and flipped the entire cart sideways and even then it would have stayed locked and connected on the front seat with my baby safely strapped in to it.

    Are you guys 1st time moms?


    You may THINK they lock in, but they aren't designed for that. Infant seats are made to lock into bases, that's it. You can actually damage the locking mechanism by attaching them to shopping carts.

    And it's a lot easier for a shopping cart to tip over than you think. Especially when an infant seat on top has changed the center of gravity.

    And no, I'm not a FTM. 






    https://secure.gracobaby.com/instruction manuals/archive/smartfit.pdf


    This is the Graco baby infant car seat manual, scroll to page 20- it shows
    you how this SAFELY works.

    Soooo yea, MY car seat was designed for that but thanks anyway.

    Edit to add this: Not all car seats lock in safely to shopping carts, but SOME do, if you are confused, I suggest thoroughly reading the manual your car seat comes with to know what is safe and what is not safe for you and your baby.
  • abbyfulabbyful member
    edited May 2014
    Kristy774 said:
    snip
    https://secure.gracobaby.com/instruction manuals/archive/smartfit.pdf This is the Graco baby infant car seat manual, scroll to page 20- it shows you how this SAFELY works. Soooo yea, MY car seat was designed for that but thanks anyway.
    Your car seat is in the minority, the majority of seats specifically disallow this.

    You'd still be hard-pressed to find a CPST who condones this behavior, because there is still the danger of the cart tipping. Just because something is allowed, it doesn't mean it's the safest option. 
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  • abbyful said:


    Kristy774 said:

    abbyful said:


    snip

    https://secure.gracobaby.com/instruction manuals/archive/smartfit.pdf

    This is the Graco baby infant car seat manual, scroll to page 20- it shows
    you how this SAFELY works.

    Soooo yea, MY car seat was designed for that but thanks anyway.
    Your car seat is in the minority, the majority of seats specifically disallow this.

    You'd still be hard-pressed to find a CPST who condones this behavior, because there is still the danger of the cart tipping. Just because something is allowed, it
    doesn't mean it's the safest option. 


    We can go back and forth all day on this, the bottom line is, there ARE car seats that can do this safely. If it was unsafe, Graco wouldn't have it printed in its manual because they would constantly have to take responsibility for babies being injured on shopping carts.

    Like I said before, thoroughly reading your manual is the best way to find out how to properly use your car seat.

  • Can I just say they need to come up with a better shopping cart kid friendly seat period? 

    My 20 month old can slip right out of the shopping cart seat belt and stand up on the chair. It's seriously a constant battle. 
    jlove253
  • Can I just say they need to come up with a better shopping cart kid friendly seat period? 

    My 20 month old can slip right out of the shopping cart seat belt and stand up on the chair. It's seriously a constant battle. 

    Farm fresh has car carts. They are amazing. There are two small shelves for stuff by the handle and then a shallow basket over a plastic car. My son loves them and will stay in even though the belts might not always work.





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  • abbyfulabbyful member

    Can I just say they need to come up with a better shopping cart kid friendly seat period? 

    My 20 month old can slip right out of the shopping cart seat belt and stand up on the chair. It's seriously a constant battle. 

    I agree!

    By probably 8 months or so, most of the shopping cart seatbelts didn't even fit DS anymore. And he's not huge, he's 75th percentile height & weight.
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  • lisarenlisaren member

    I know kristy was doing what she did out of love. I don't knock her down for that.
    I do think saying calm your tits down is not beneficial either. That's going to aggravate an already tense place.

    If this post the reason the other post started about board concerns??




                                  
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  • MaelaraMaelara member
    abbyful said:
    Maelara said:
    snip

    I think we all need to remember that we grew up in a different, safer time period. Now a days, it's not safe anywhere. I live in a great area and one day a couple years ago I had to chase away a man in an old car trying to get kids to 'take a ride'. I, of course, also called the cops and I sent my dogs after him. We don't live in a safe time. To think otherwise is extremely naive. ETA - I want to add, he was after 10 and 11 year olds walking home from school. It was scary as hell and a huge wake up call to just how dangerous things are. Things like that just don't happen here.
    The world isn't really more dangerous than it was 30 years ago, statistically crime rates have stayed pretty flat. (And your child is far more likely to be harmed by someone they know: family member, babysitter, teacher, etc., than by a stranger. Stranger abductions, murders, rape/molestation, etc., are very rare.) We are just more connected and we hear about EVERYTHING now, whereas 30 years ago you only mostly heard of news from your local area or your state.

    Kristy774 said:
    snip
    Both of my infant carriers actually locked into the front of the shopping cart. For my baby to be taken out you would need to press a button and move a lever at the exact same time otherwise that sucker wasn't going anywhere unless a grown man threw his body at the cart and flipped the entire cart sideways and even then it would have stayed locked and connected on the front seat with my baby safely strapped in to it. Are you guys 1st time moms?
    You may THINK they lock in, but they aren't designed for that. Infant seats are made to lock into bases, that's it. You can actually damage the locking mechanism by attaching them to shopping carts.

    And it's a lot easier for a shopping cart to tip over than you think. Especially when an infant seat on top has changed the center of gravity.

    And no, I'm not a FTM. 




    We are more connected. I agree. However, our world isn't as safe as it was. Maybe sheerly because the population is larger.
    hjenni
  • I do agree with @abbyful that I think it's mostly the perception that we are so much more unsafe than we were 20-30 years ago.  We hear about everything that happens now due to the internet, email alerts, text alerts, etc.  I don't live in fear, yet I am careful.  I know all of our neighbors and their kids & I do let DS go outside without me now that he is 5.  There are always other parents around & tons of kids, so I do feel completely safe in doing this.  In public, or at someone else's house, I supervise him directly at all times.  I truly think it depends on the situation.
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  • My DS is two and he spends time unsupervised in our backyard every day. He isn't tall enough to open the gates (he's at least two feet too short) and there's really not much back there for him to get in trouble with. No one can see into our yard and I can see anyone who comes near my house. I live in a quiet neighborhood and I see no reason to supervise him every minute of the day.
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  • nonoemily said:

    And really, no more laws, please. I don't think we need to make anything else illegal.

    This.
    Maelara[Deleted User]
  • MaelaraMaelara member
    nonoemily said:
    My DS is two and he spends time unsupervised in our backyard every day. He isn't tall enough to open the gates (he's at least two feet too short) and there's really not much back there for him to get in trouble with. No one can see into our yard and I can see anyone who comes near my house. I live in a quiet neighborhood and I see no reason to supervise him every minute of the day.

    Personally, I think ones backyard is a little different than the front yard or most other places. Personally, I know my dogs would protect DD in our backyard anyway.
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  • hjennihjenni member
    I know this isn't related, but I want to add some love to this convo. I love every single one of you ladies on this board. I have really enjoyed this community and am so grateful for it (especially as a FTM). Some of you I love because of your sweet nature, some because of your wisdom, some because of your sense of humor, and some because of your snark. You all make this board what it is and I wouldn't trade any of you. And the one person I would have traded has been banned so there you go. I love you!!!
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  • RachelC79RachelC79 member
    edited May 2014
    @Kristy774, I don't want to derail this thread further, but I also don't want to let your "call-out" go unremarked. I thought the outpouring of love yesterday was really inspirational and wonderful. I also thought the way people were (occasionally) being jumped on was unhelpful and not in the spirit of what the board seemed to be trying to do, which was support our mod as she goes through something unimaginably difficult. Jumping on people in an authoritarian way was... well, it rubbed me the wrong way, honestly, and I was glad that @econosaurus said something, even if her tone was maybe not the way I would have phrased it.

    Back to your regularly scheduled thread.
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  • Kristy774Kristy774 member
    edited May 2014
    RachelC79 said:

    @Kristi774, I don't want to derail this thread further, but I also don't want to let your "call-out" go unremarked. I thought the outpouring of love yesterday was really inspirational and wonderful. I also thought the way people were (occasionally) being jumped on was unhelpful and not in the spirit of what the board seemed to be trying to do, which was support our mod as she goes through something unimaginably difficult. Jumping on people in an authoritarian way was... well, it rubbed me the wrong way, honestly, and I was glad that @econosaurus said something, even if her tone was maybe not the way I would have phrased it.


    Back to your regularly scheduled thread.
    First off you @ the wrong person. 2nd off, I don't care, if I think something's wrong I will say it. And so that's that! Like everyone says all the time its a public forum. I don't care if you like me or you think I was wrong, I have been posting here long enough that most people and the people that I care about know where I was coming from. So I don't care that you didn't like that I called someone out, I'd do it again.
  • RachelC79RachelC79 member
    edited May 2014
    Fine. Sorry about the typo, I'll fix it in the post. 

    ETA (you added to your post after I saw it) - it's not that you called SOMEONE out, you called ME out in the post earlier in this thread, so I felt like I should respond. I know this is a public forum and we won't always agree.

    Also, I don't think you were wrong in asking people not to post yesterday, I just think your tone was a little strident. Sometimes, forums like this are difficult, because you can't see the person behind the screen-name (especially in my case, with my avatar of tomatoes). I really do think that the board silence yesterday was a wonderful tribute, and I understand your getting upset when people didn't know what was going on.
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  • RachelC79 said:

    Fine. Sorry about the typo, I'll fix it in the post. 


    ETA (you added to your post after I saw it) - it's not that you called SOMEONE out, you called ME out in the post earlier in this thread, so I felt like I should respond. I know this is a public forum and we won't always agree.

    Also, I don't think you were wrong in asking people not to post yesterday, I just think your tone was a little strident. Sometimes, forums like this are difficult, because you can't see the person behind the screen-name (especially in my case, with my avatar of tomatoes). I really do think that the board silence yesterday was a wonderful tribute, and I understand your getting upset when people didn't know what was going on.

    Ok, I apologize for calling you out. Emotions were high and my post earlier was probably a little much. The black post it note thing was a little over the top.

    Hindsight maybe I shouldn't have said anything to those that posted when we were doing the moment of silence, but I'm not regretful that I did. It seemed like some were doing it on purpose and it was out of me being protective over Lisa.

    I see where you are coming from now and I apologize for my post earlier.
    RachelC79Maelara[Deleted User]
  • @Kristy774‌ I did it too. I was telling people that there was something else going on. I think you were doing the same. I don't think anyone should be upset at you for that. Nor do I think you need to applogize. It was from a good place
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  • @Kristy774‌ I did it too. I was telling people that there was something else going on. I think you were doing the same. I don't think anyone should be upset at you for that. Nor do I think you need to applogize. It was from a good place
    @tarynleann and @Kristy774 - I did too.  I tried to be as polite as possible because she obviously had no idea what was going on and hadn't read the PSA thread.  Even though some got more heated about it than others, we were all coming from the same place trying to be respectful to our loving mod.
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  • @kristy774 @tarynleann I'm just sorry that anything I did yesterday added to the high emotions. I look forward to being part of this board for months to come. There are some seriously wonderful people on here, like @hjenni said above, and I hope to get to know you guys better as we go through the ups and downs of pregnancy together.

    As far as things that should be illegal... I'd really like to see people that board airlines outside of their boarding groups get called out more. It's SO satisfying when they're turned away during boarding, but I feel like I don't get to see that very much. Maybe don't make it illegal, just, hey, airlines, if you're going to make us all board in this ridiculous way, enforce it a little?
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  • mamatohnemamatohne member
    edited May 2014
    @RachelC79‌ I also do not think you need to applogize. I think that anyone who posted was doing it out of ignorance not purposefully disrespect, except one person who should of waited to the day to be over. My point to telling people was to let them know what we were doing because they obviously didn't know. I think it's time to let this tread die. It's hurtful to someone we all care about and I think most point have been covered. Can we get some "I'm due November 8th and live in Seattle" posts?

    Eta: I forgot what post I was in, I was intending to end the thread about "the board".
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  • RachelC79 said:
    @kristy774 @tarynleann I'm just sorry that anything I did yesterday added to the high emotions. I look forward to being part of this board for months to come. There are some seriously wonderful people on here, like @hjenni said above, and I hope to get to know you guys better as we go through the ups and downs of pregnancy together.

    As far as things that should be illegal... I'd really like to see people that board airlines outside of their boarding groups get called out more. It's SO satisfying when they're turned away during boarding, but I feel like I don't get to see that very much. Maybe don't make it illegal, just, hey, airlines, if you're going to make us all board in this ridiculous way, enforce it a little?
    It's funny you say that about boarding airplanes - ever since we had DS we wait until the absolute last minute possible to board the airplane.  They always want people with babies on first, which I think is ridiculous.  Who wants a baby confined on an airplane for way longer than they need to be??  The least amount of time you spend on there the better, IMHO.  Especially once they're crawling or walking and less likely to sit still.  (I know there's a reason they want you on early - so you can get all your gear dealt with, settled in, and so they can give you the safety spiel, but we're pretty efficient and frequent flyers so we don't need that stuff)
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  • I wish it were illegal to take small children into high end restaurants after eight pm.  Not only is it going to likely be far past their bedtime and ability to cope with such as environment, but there also often isn't food they might enjoy in the timeframe they would enjoy it. 

    I'm all for exposing children to different situations to help them learn and so wouldn't have an issue with children being in such restaurants around dinner time, so long as their parents were prepared to guide them through the experience and had a back up plan (ie. snacks in their bag).  But, if I get a night out with DH and am going to go somewhere special and will likely drop a signficiant amount of money on the "experience" of dining, I don't want to have that negatively impacted by others.    


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