October 2014 Moms

why?

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Re: why?

  • We told my parents and my brother and his girlfriend when we found out at 4 weeks, but I waited to tell friends and extended family until 13 weeks. I didn't know if I would have any issues since I was diagnosed with PCOS when I was 19 which makes it hard to get pregnant. My mom had 3 miscarriages before having a successful pregnancy. I just knew that for me, I couldn't deal with people telling me how sorry they were, etc. I wanted the support of my immediate family in the event, but not work colleagues, etc. 

    Hope that explains why.



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  • As many above posted - loss is often the reason. DH and I told all of our family and close friends early on and then had a missed miscarriage and found out close to start of 2nd trimester that we'd actually miscarried weeks prior. The having to tell everyone that news was awful. This time around no one knew until we got through the 1st 12 weeks.

    Lilypie - (urRB)


  • With our first pg and resulting loss, we told our family and friends way too early. Having to explain miscarriage is one of the worst experiences. We chose to wait until about 12 weeks this time as I felt more confident about the viability of my child at that point. I think it may be something that only those who have experienced a loss before or are high risk really think hard about.


                                                        [MC 11.20.11] [DS born 9.24.12] [DD born 10.15.14]

  • Ditto many of the others, we choose to wait, but it depends on who the people are. Both times we told my parents early on (I was so sick and didn't want her to worry when we visited) and the others we're closest to, a few friends. We gradually shared the news from there. DH has yet to tell either of his sisters, so many of our extended family/friends don't know yet. 

    My sister went through 10 years of IF and adoption trauma. It was really hard on our family so we are extremely sensitive because of that, along with the risk of miscarriage. We saw first hand how awful un-telling is, but my family also isn't super close emotionally. 

    It totally depends on each person and their family.
    p+c 11.6.04  |  +g  2.4.11
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  • MrsL2BMrsL2B member
    I had a lot of reasons for waiting, but mostly it comes down to me being an extreme introvert and not liking to be the center of attention. Even after we got great Panorama and NT scan results, and I knew that many possible problems weren't likely, I still had a hard time getting the words out. If I hadn't gotten so big so soon, I would have put it off until after this week's AS, or even longer. I still have a hard time putting on my happy face when casual acquaintances ask me about the pregnancy, but it's because I'm mortified by the attention, not because I'm not thrilled about the baby.
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