This is my first time posting on this board, so sorry if this is a repeat question. We're having a Baby-Q this weekend - basically just a big BBQ in our backyard that will be catered, and I'm assuming people will be bringing us gifts based on questions we've been getting from our parents. Do the guests of honor typically open gifts at events like these? I HATE the gift opening part of having a shower - I don't mind watching others do it, but I myself hate everyone watching me while I open gifts, it just not my thing because I have a hard time getting ooey-gooey and screeching "OMG!" over gifts of any kind, it's just not my personality. Obviously this time I would have DH helping so hopefully it would go fast, but do people typically open gifts when it's not a traditional baby shower? I'm wondering if we even really need to do it at all in front of people....TIA!
Me 31 ~ DH 30
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
CJW 6/15/2014 DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
Re: Co-ed shower/Baby-Q/etc. and gift opening
I had 40 women come to my shower and what we did was I opened gifts and everyone chatted the whole time. When I opened a gift I announced who it was from so those who cared could see. The gifts were passed too. I'm the type of person who doesn't care usually if someone opens my gift in front of me, but sometimes I really do want to see. My mil on the other hand would have hurt feelings if gifts weren't opened and passed.
ETA: tried to un-underline, not sure why it's not working, sorry!
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
CJW 6/15/2014
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
@Happy_Yahoo_Personaler Who said I was hosting my own event??? My mom and MIL are throwing it, and they asked to use our backyard because out of all of our houses #1 it's obviously most convenient for DH and I as far as schlepping gifts and #2 we have the best backyard space for this type of event. You know what they say about people who ASSume...
jociejones It wasn't meant to be an alternative, I just specifically said that I do not want a baby shower because I personally don't like showers either thrown for me or as a guest. My family feels differently, so this was the compromise. I'm totally fine with a BBQ is that'll make everyone happy!
Bliss+Berry I, personally, like the term. I think it's endearing. And, as I said above, it was the compromise, as I didn't want a shower in the first place.
@VOR In my defense, I didn't want a party that was "about gifts" in the first place simply because I HATE opening gifts in front of people. *sigh* People will just have to deal with my "excitement" coming out in my thank you notes, and I'm queen of writing hand-written thank you notes, but they're just simply not going to get the kind of reaction from me that most give when opening gifts
MrsFinni IMO this is one of those types of boards that people go on for specific questions, not to hang out on everyday like the BMB or IF boards. Also, I did do a search for something like this but nothing useful came up so I posted. *eye roll* If you don't like the question, there's nothing forcing you to respond.
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
CJW 6/15/2014
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
We just had our shower, which was also co-ed (basically, it was our usual family summer reunion, but with more of a baby theme and some of our friends and the DHs family came as well.)
My hostess asked me if I wanted to open the presents or not (she was up in air herself) but after a quick consultation, it became clear that while half the guests really didn't care, the half that did would be really offended if we didn't.
So, we opened them -- those who were interested sat through it, those who weren't (most of the guys) stayed in the backyard chilling. Worked out well for everyone I think.
Also, my DH played the role of Vanna (showing off the gifts to the rest of the room, etc.) while I read the cards and issued the "thank yous." I also don't like being the center of attention, so having him there def. took some of the pressure off me and also made the opening-gifts portion go by faster.
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
CJW 6/15/2014
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
If you open the gifts while everyone is eating maybe it will be less boring. Everyone will be sitting down anyway, so they can watch you open gifts and enjoy their meal at the same time. That may make it go by faster and be less painful for you. The BBQ sounds like it'll be a good time. I hope you enjoy your shower!
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
CJW 6/15/2014
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
But if people are really SOOOOOOOO bored by the gift opening, they absolutely have the option of simply not going. As you said - people usually understand that a shower will include a gift opening!
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
CJW 6/15/2014
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
Goshdarn old people and their annoying manners! Lol
And FWIW, I'd (and a crap-ton of my friends would) be totally fine if people didn't open gifts I got them in front of me. As long as I get a written TY note after the fact so that I know they got it and appreciate the thought, that's what really matters to me. As non-traditional as I am about certain things, the hand-written TY in a timely manner is probably the most important thing when it comes to gift receiving and something of which I reign as Queen of doing for every gift I get, even if it's not necessary.
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
CJW 6/15/2014
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
CJW 6/15/2014
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
Oscar born October 2011
Miscarriage at 8 weeks (August 2013)
DD due September 1, 2014
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
CJW 6/15/2014
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
Haha seriously! But can I have one, too, anyway? Yum!! You know what would be REALLY good...is if someone used funfetti in their wedding or special occasion cake!!! Or is that too non-traditional for this group?
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
CJW 6/15/2014
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
CJW 6/15/2014
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
CJW 6/15/2014
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
And if you actually read the thread and comprehended anything I previously wrote, the reason I asked my original question about opening gifts was because my mother asked me if we were going to, causing me to wonder if it was even an option because I hadn't even thought not doing it was an option to that point. Hence, prompting my question...a simple, innocent question that apparently gets people all twisted in their underwear.
Funfetti cake time!
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
CJW 6/15/2014
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
And if you actually read the thread and comprehended anything I previously wrote, the reason I asked my original question about opening gifts was because my mother asked me if we were going to, causing me to wonder if it was even an option because I hadn't even thought not doing it was an option to that point. Hence, prompting my question...a simple, innocent question thsat apparently gets people all twisted in their underwear.
Funfetti cake time!
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So basically we should never take anything you say seriously because you don't actually mean anything you say. Got ya.
Pretty sure my newborn won't need tons of outfits that s/he'll grow out of. All of my IRL friends and ladies on here who have already had showers said they end up returning a majority of this stuff because it's simply not needed.
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
CJW 6/15/2014
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
Pretty sure my newborn won't need tons of outfits that s/he'll grow out of. All of my IRL friends and ladies on here who have already had showers said they end up returning a majority of this stuff because it's simply not needed.
___________________
You don't have a kid yet so you really don't know. Unless you want to do laundry every single day you're going to need more than just a couple outfits. Between spit up, blow outs, and leaky boobs clothes are changed often.
Andplusalso, it's not that hard to exchange clothes out for a bigger size.
i've been to one shower where gifts weren't opened. At the time I didn't mind. I DO agree that the gift opening is boring. But did I get a hand-written TY in a timely manner?
NOPE. 3 months later (which I actually really don't care about), after the baby was born, I got a baby announcement with a pre-printed "Thank you for your love and support" and that was IT. Nothing handwritten, even their names.
And this is what pissed me off. I really don't care about the gift opening, and if I'm genuinely thanked in person for a gift, I'm not a huge stickler for a proper thank you. But when NEITHER of these happened? It was off-putting.
While YOU may be traditional about thank you's, I'd be willing to bet you that what I experienced probably happens in some form or fashion a LOT. Because I really think that most people who come here spouting off about "TIMES ARE CHANGING/ ETIQUETTE IS ANTIQUATED" aren't going to be sticklers about well thought out, hand written thank you's.
And when that goes down the tube along w/ opening gifts in front of the giver and giving a genuine thank you at the time, it just makes the whole shower concept a hell of a lot more gift grabby and greedy.
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
CJW 6/15/2014
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
CJW 6/15/2014
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15
IVF/FET #1 - BFP!!
CJW 6/15/2014
DX - PCOS 2004
FET #2 - scheduled for 11/24/15