Co-ed shower/Baby-Q/etc. and gift opening

FutureMrsW9

This is my first time posting on this board, so sorry if this is a repeat question.  We're having a Baby-Q this weekend - basically just a big BBQ in our backyard that will be catered, and I'm assuming people will be bringing us gifts based on questions we've been getting from our parents.  Do the guests of honor typically open gifts at events like these?  I HATE the gift opening part of having a shower - I don't mind watching others do it, but I myself hate everyone watching me while I open gifts, it just not my thing because I have a hard time getting ooey-gooey and screeching "OMG!" over gifts of any kind, it's just not my personality.  Obviously this time I would have DH helping so hopefully it would go fast, but do people typically open gifts when it's not a traditional baby shower?  I'm wondering if we even really need to do it at all in front of people....TIA!

Disneygeek77

Yes, you open their gifts, it is the polite thing to do.  They took time out of their day to shop, pick out, buy and wrap  a gift for you.  The least you can do is plaster a smile on your face and say thank you.  

If you don't want to open gifts in front of everyone maybe open the gifts as people arrive, but you do open them.  

lilnessi

Hi,

I am also doing a coed BBQ for my shower as well and have struggled with this question tool! My friends have all said that they also are bored by the gift opening as much as I and would rather me not do the gift opening, but my sisters say that some of my older family members may want this. I am still undecided, but if i do end up doing the gift opening I am going to do it in the house with only the girls or whomever wants to attend and let the guys do their thing.

jlove253

I think you need to open them, but if you really think not everyone is bringing gifts, then I think you'll do better to open them individually with guests that being them. I totally understand your feelings about opening. I am terrible about feeling like I've reacted appropriately to the gift. If you don't feel like you can react well enough then make sure to send really good thank you cards.

I had 40 women come to my shower and what we did was I opened gifts and everyone chatted the whole time. When I opened a gift I announced who it was from so those who cared could see. The gifts were passed too. I'm the type of person who doesn't care usually if someone opens my gift in front of me, but sometimes I really do want to see. My mil on the other hand would have hurt feelings if gifts weren't opened and passed.

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VOR

 

STUCK IN THE BOX.  Arg.

 

Whatever you call it, in the end, any pre-baby event is going to be viewed as a shower.  So.... as "non traditional" as you want to believe this party is, people will come seeing it as a shower and expecting to see their gift opened.

 

Yes, I know it's uncomfortable.  I hate it too.  But - it's a part of being the gracious guest of honor.  Don't want to open gifts?  Then don't have a party that's about gifts. 

 

 

dufferoo

This is another reason I think co-ed barbecues are lame alternatives to traditional baby showers. Yeah, it's awkward to expect a big crowd of boozing dudes to sit around nicely and watch you ooh and ahh over baby things, but that's exactly why that is the wrong atmosphere for a baby shower! To answer your question: yes, you need to open the presents in front of the givers and act grateful whether you are or not.

FutureMrsW9

@lilnessi said:

Hi,

I am also doing a coed BBQ for my shower as well and have struggled with this question tool! My friends have all said that they also are bored by the gift opening as much as I and would rather me not do the gift opening, but my sisters say that some of my older family members may want this. I am still undecided, but if i do end up doing the gift opening I am going to do it in the house with only the girls or whomever wants to attend and let the guys do their thing.

This is a great idea!  I know many of the men (and some of my girl friends) aren't going to give two hoots about seeing onesies and such.  And since we'll be at my house, we can just set up shop in the living room and then everything won't have to be moved after.  I'm so glad you posted this!

ETA: tried to un-underline, not sure why it's not working, sorry!

FutureMrsW9

Thanks for the feedback everyone.  I hadn't given it a second thought until my mom actually asked me if we were going to open gifts.  Since she asked, it made me wonder if it was even optional NOT to do it, so I had to ask.  We were planning to do it, despite my dislike for the whole thing, because I figured it was proper etiquette and what we were supposed to do, so plans remain the same.  I think I'll just make DH do the brunt of it, he's much better at getting fake excited :-)

@Happy_Yahoo_Personaler Who said I was hosting my own event???  My mom and MIL are throwing it, and they asked to use our backyard because out of all of our houses #1 it's obviously most convenient for DH and I as far as schlepping gifts and #2 we have the best backyard space for this type of event.  You know what they say about people who ASSume...

jociejones It wasn't meant to be an alternative, I just specifically said that I do not want a baby shower because I personally don't like showers either thrown for me or as a guest.  My family feels differently, so this was the compromise.  I'm totally fine with a BBQ is that'll make everyone happy!

Bliss+Berry  I, personally, like the term.  I think it's endearing.  And, as I said above, it was the compromise, as I didn't want a shower in the first place.

@VOR In my defense, I didn't want a party that was "about gifts" in the first place simply because I HATE opening gifts in front of people.  *sigh* People will just have to deal with my "excitement" coming out in my thank you notes, and I'm queen of writing hand-written thank you notes, but they're just simply not going to get the kind of reaction from me that most give when opening gifts

MrsFinni  IMO this is one of those types of boards that people go on for specific questions, not to hang out on everyday like the BMB or IF boards.  Also, I did do a search for something like this but nothing useful came up so I posted. *eye roll*  If you don't like the question, there's nothing forcing you to respond.

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Luna C

We just had our shower, which was also co-ed (basically, it was our usual family summer reunion, but with more of a baby theme and some of our friends and the DHs family came as well.)

My hostess asked me if I wanted to open the presents or not (she was up in air herself) but after a quick consultation, it became clear that while half the guests really didn't care, the half that did would be really offended if we didn't.

So, we opened them -- those who were interested sat through it, those who weren't (most of the guys) stayed in the backyard chilling. Worked out well for everyone I think.

Also, my DH played the role of Vanna (showing off the gifts to the rest of the room, etc.) while I read the cards and issued the "thank yous." I also don't like being the center of attention, so having him there def. took some of the pressure off me and also made the opening-gifts portion go by faster. 

FutureMrsW9

@MrsFinni said:

Thanks for the feedback everyone.  I hadn't given it a second thought until my mom actually asked me if we were going to open gifts.  Since she asked, it made me wonder if it was even optional NOT to do it, so I had to ask.  We were planning to do it, despite my dislike for the whole thing, because I figured it was proper etiquette and what we were supposed to do, so plans remain the same.  I think I'll just make DH do the brunt of it, he's much better at getting fake excited :-)

@Happy_Yahoo_Personaler Who said I was hosting my own event???  My mom and MIL are throwing it, and they asked to use our backyard because out of all of our houses #1 it's obviously most convenient for DH and I as far as schlepping gifts and #2 we have the best backyard space for this type of event.  You know what they say about people who ASSume...

jociejones It wasn't meant to be an alternative, I just specifically said that I do not want a baby shower because I personally don't like showers either thrown for me or as a guest.  My family feels differently, so this was the compromise.  I'm totally fine with a BBQ is that'll make everyone happy!

Bliss+Berry  I, personally, like the term.  I think it's endearing.  And, as I said above, it was the compromise, as I didn't want a shower in the first place.

@VOR In my defense, I didn't want a party that was "about gifts" in the first place simply because I HATE opening gifts in front of people.  *sigh* People will just have to deal with my "excitement" coming out in my thank you notes, and I'm queen of writing hand-written thank you notes, but they're just simply not going to get the kind of reaction from me that most give when opening gifts

MrsFinni  IMO this is one of those types of boards that people go on for specific questions, not to hang out on everyday like the BMB or IF boards.  Also, I did do a search for something like this but nothing useful came up so I posted. *eye roll*  If you don't like the question, there's nothing forcing you to respond.

QFP Lurking doesn't just mean read without commenting, it means get a feel for the board in general, which includes reading old posts. You are obviously going to do whatever you want, but that doesn't change the input that the regulars (and yes, there are regulars here) here will give. Having a party to celebrate your pregnant belly and calling it a Baby-Q (which sounds a bit cannibalistic lol) is over the top. But yeah, I'm sure it's not about the presents and all about celebrating because we all knew that once you pop that kid out you will never leave the house or see your friends again. ETA: Hosting makes you the host. You are not the guest of honor when you throw yourself a party.

If you read through my other comments, you'd know that I'm NOT the host (and frankly, didn't even want a 'shower' in the first place).  Our parents are hosting, it just happens to be in our backyard because it was the best space for it and they asked if it would work for us, and of course if does.  I had very very little to do with the planning and don't even know a lot of what is going on other than my mom is currently at my house as I speak having a tent set up - have at it mama!  I will be out pampering myself all day while people slave away at my house and show up as the guest-of-honor when the party starts.

jasminelorraine20

If you open the gifts while everyone is eating maybe it will be less boring. Everyone will be sitting down anyway, so they can watch you open gifts and enjoy their meal at the same time. That may make it go by faster and be less painful for you. The BBQ sounds like it'll be a good time. I hope you enjoy your shower!

FutureMrsW9

@jasminelorraine20 said:

If you open the gifts while everyone is eating maybe it will be less boring. Everyone will be sitting down anyway, so they can watch you open gifts and enjoy their meal at the same time. That may make it go by faster and be less painful for you. The BBQ sounds like it'll be a good time. I hope you enjoy your shower!

Since it's more of a BBQ type of event without a "schedule," (no games or anything like that) I'm thinking this may organically happen, which is a-ok with me! :-)

VOR

Darbie914 said:

So for those people who find the gift opening part boring, suck it up and deal with it.

Or don't go!  I don't particularly find showers all that enthralling, but I do go, usually have a good time and what have you.

But if people are really SOOOOOOOO bored by the gift opening, they absolutely have the option of simply not going.  As you said - people usually understand that a shower will include a gift opening!

FutureMrsW9

@Darbie914 said:

I guess I just don't understand the new trend of not opening gifts at showers.  I mean, people do realize that showers = gifts.  So if you're attending, you should be fully aware that you'll have to sit through the gift opening part- it comes with the territory.  

So for those people who find the gift opening part boring, suck it up and deal with it.  I mean, is it really the end of the world to watch someone open presents?  Eat your damn cake, sip your coffee/mimosa, and deal with it.  

I know what you mean and I totally get it, but I'm loving that the trend is shifting.  For the most part only older people like to sit and watch you open gifts (that you already know you're getting because you registered for it all lol), but to us young-ans it's just boring.  I've also heard of people requesting that gifts be wrapped in clear cellophane to "lessen the gift opening time."  I'm not sure how I feel about this, but it's definitely a step in the right trend direction!

dufferoo

FutureMrsW9 said:

@Darbie914 said:

I guess I just don't understand the new trend of not opening gifts at showers.  I mean, people do realize that showers = gifts.  So if you're attending, you should be fully aware that you'll have to sit through the gift opening part- it comes with the territory.  

So for those people who find the gift opening part boring, suck it up and deal with it.  I mean, is it really the end of the world to watch someone open presents?  Eat your damn cake, sip your coffee/mimosa, and deal with it.  

I know what you mean and I totally get it, but I'm loving that the trend is shifting.  For the most part only older people like to sit and watch you open gifts (that you already know you're getting because you registered for it all lol), but to us young-ans it's just boring.  I've also heard of people requesting that gifts be wrapped in clear cellophane to "lessen the gift opening time."  I'm not sure how I feel about this, but it's definitely a step in the right trend direction!

Goshdarn old people and their annoying manners! Lol

FutureMrsW9

Darbie914 said:

FutureMrsW9 said:

@Darbie914 said:

I guess I just don't understand the new trend of not opening gifts at showers.  I mean, people do realize that showers = gifts.  So if you're attending, you should be fully aware that you'll have to sit through the gift opening part- it comes with the territory.  

So for those people who find the gift opening part boring, suck it up and deal with it.  I mean, is it really the end of the world to watch someone open presents?  Eat your damn cake, sip your coffee/mimosa, and deal with it.  

I know what you mean and I totally get it, but I'm loving that the trend is shifting.  For the most part only older people like to sit and watch you open gifts (that you already know you're getting because you registered for it all lol), but to us young-ans it's just boring.  I've also heard of people requesting that gifts be wrapped in clear cellophane to "lessen the gift opening time."  I'm not sure how I feel about this, but it's definitely a step in the right trend direction!

I hate to break it to you but not every gift you get will be off your registry.  Many people don't care to shop from it and will get you a gift all on their own.  

Also, this trend is rude, no matter how old the guests are.  People are going out of their way to spend their money and time on you - the least you could do is open their gift during the shower.  It's the whole point of the shower in the first place.  I've gone to quite a few showers and never in my younger years did I find it boring and not want it to happen.  People will get over it.  

Also, no to the clear wrapping.  It screams, "Hey thanks for the gift!  My time is too precious to sit here and open up your thoughtful gift so I'll just look it over while they are lined up on the table."  

Yes, I'm aware people will get things that are not one our registry, but that's a WHOLE other topic that gets my blood boiling.  I, personally, would never buy something not on someone's registry and if there wasn't anything I wanted to get or nothing left that I could afford, I would get a gift card for that store or something I knew they could at least return at that store. 

And FWIW, I'd (and a crap-ton of my friends would) be totally fine if people didn't open gifts I got them in front of me.  As long as I get a written TY note after the fact so that I know they got it and appreciate the thought, that's what really matters to me.  As non-traditional as I am about certain things, the hand-written TY in a timely manner is probably the most important thing when it comes to gift receiving and something of which I reign as Queen of doing for every gift I get, even if it's not necessary.

FutureMrsW9

Idani I'm just being real and saying things that a lot of people don't want to say because they're afraid that it's going to be unpopular or they're going to get flamed for it.  Well I don't really give a crap, flame and shun me all you want, I don't really care (hello internet world we live in).  Everyone is entitled to their opinions.  I don't think that's a reason to make nasty comments about someone.  I'm sure I'd have choice words for your opinions on various things, too.

Ceridwen21

LOL at the blood boiling comment OP.  How DARE your family and friends think of an original gift for you!?! HOW DARE THEY!!!!

callalilly323

This is hilarious. Everyone but OP (and a few choice others) is in serious need of a funetti cupcake.

FutureMrsW9

You ladies make me laugh lol!  Thanks for the afternoon entertainment xoxo

FutureMrsW9

callalilly323
Haha seriously!  But can I have one, too, anyway?  Yum!!  You know what would be REALLY good...is if someone used funfetti in their wedding or special occasion cake!!!  Or is that too non-traditional for this group?

WashingtonQueen

FutureMrsW9 said:

Darbie914 said:

FutureMrsW9 said:

@Darbie914 said:

I guess I just don't understand the new trend of not opening gifts at showers.  I mean, people do realize that showers = gifts.  So if you're attending, you should be fully aware that you'll have to sit through the gift opening part- it comes with the territory.  

So for those people who find the gift opening part boring, suck it up and deal with it.  I mean, is it really the end of the world to watch someone open presents?  Eat your damn cake, sip your coffee/mimosa, and deal with it.  

I know what you mean and I totally get it, but I'm loving that the trend is shifting.  For the most part only older people like to sit and watch you open gifts (that you already know you're getting because you registered for it all lol), but to us young-ans it's just boring.  I've also heard of people requesting that gifts be wrapped in clear cellophane to "lessen the gift opening time."  I'm not sure how I feel about this, but it's definitely a step in the right trend direction!

I hate to break it to you but not every gift you get will be off your registry.  Many people don't care to shop from it and will get you a gift all on their own.  

Also, this trend is rude, no matter how old the guests are.  People are going out of their way to spend their money and time on you - the least you could do is open their gift during the shower.  It's the whole point of the shower in the first place.  I've gone to quite a few showers and never in my younger years did I find it boring and not want it to happen.  People will get over it.  

Also, no to the clear wrapping.  It screams, "Hey thanks for the gift!  My time is too precious to sit here and open up your thoughtful gift so I'll just look it over while they are lined up on the table."  

Yes, I'm aware people will get things that are not one our registry, but that's a WHOLE other topic that gets my blood boiling.  I, personally, would never buy something not on someone's registry and if there wasn't anything I wanted to get or nothing left that I could afford, I would get a gift card for that store or something I knew they could at least return at that store. 

And FWIW, I'd (and a crap-ton of my friends would) be totally fine if people didn't open gifts I got them in front of me.  As long as I get a written TY note after the fact so that I know they got it and appreciate the thought, that's what really matters to me.  As non-traditional as I am about certain things, the hand-written TY in a timely manner is probably the most important thing when it comes to gift receiving and something of which I reign as Queen of doing for every gift I get, even if it's not necessary.

I'm really fucking glad it's not your shower I am going to this weekend! 

FutureMrsW9

@WashingtonQueen said:

FutureMrsW9 said:

Darbie914 said:

FutureMrsW9 said:

@Darbie914 said:

I guess I just don't understand the new trend of not opening gifts at showers.  I mean, people do realize that showers = gifts.  So if you're attending, you should be fully aware that you'll have to sit through the gift opening part- it comes with the territory.  

So for those people who find the gift opening part boring, suck it up and deal with it.  I mean, is it really the end of the world to watch someone open presents?  Eat your damn cake, sip your coffee/mimosa, and deal with it.  

I know what you mean and I totally get it, but I'm loving that the trend is shifting.  For the most part only older people like to sit and watch you open gifts (that you already know you're getting because you registered for it all lol), but to us young-ans it's just boring.  I've also heard of people requesting that gifts be wrapped in clear cellophane to "lessen the gift opening time."  I'm not sure how I feel about this, but it's definitely a step in the right trend direction!

I hate to break it to you but not every gift you get will be off your registry.  Many people don't care to shop from it and will get you a gift all on their own.  

Also, this trend is rude, no matter how old the guests are.  People are going out of their way to spend their money and time on you - the least you could do is open their gift during the shower.  It's the whole point of the shower in the first place.  I've gone to quite a few showers and never in my younger years did I find it boring and not want it to happen.  People will get over it.  

Also, no to the clear wrapping.  It screams, "Hey thanks for the gift!  My time is too precious to sit here and open up your thoughtful gift so I'll just look it over while they are lined up on the table."  

Yes, I'm aware people will get things that are not one our registry, but that's a WHOLE other topic that gets my blood boiling.  I, personally, would never buy something not on someone's registry and if there wasn't anything I wanted to get or nothing left that I could afford, I would get a gift card for that store or something I knew they could at least return at that store. 

And FWIW, I'd (and a crap-ton of my friends would) be totally fine if people didn't open gifts I got them in front of me.  As long as I get a written TY note after the fact so that I know they got it and appreciate the thought, that's what really matters to me.  As non-traditional as I am about certain things, the hand-written TY in a timely manner is probably the most important thing when it comes to gift receiving and something of which I reign as Queen of doing for every gift I get, even if it's not necessary.

I'm really fucking glad it's not your shower I am going to this weekend! 

Why???  It's going to be a blast!  Good people, good music, good food, supposed to be a gorgeous day for an outside event, etc.  AND you'll be sure to get a lovely hand-written thank you note for any gift you may choose to give me!

WashingtonQueen

FutureMrsW9 said:

@WashingtonQueen said:

FutureMrsW9 said:

Darbie914 said:

FutureMrsW9 said:

@Darbie914 said:

I guess I just don't understand the new trend of not opening gifts at showers.  I mean, people do realize that showers = gifts.  So if you're attending, you should be fully aware that you'll have to sit through the gift opening part- it comes with the territory.  

So for those people who find the gift opening part boring, suck it up and deal with it.  I mean, is it really the end of the world to watch someone open presents?  Eat your damn cake, sip your coffee/mimosa, and deal with it.  

I know what you mean and I totally get it, but I'm loving that the trend is shifting.  For the most part only older people like to sit and watch you open gifts (that you already know you're getting because you registered for it all lol), but to us young-ans it's just boring.  I've also heard of people requesting that gifts be wrapped in clear cellophane to "lessen the gift opening time."  I'm not sure how I feel about this, but it's definitely a step in the right trend direction!

I hate to break it to you but not every gift you get will be off your registry.  Many people don't care to shop from it and will get you a gift all on their own.  

Also, this trend is rude, no matter how old the guests are.  People are going out of their way to spend their money and time on you - the least you could do is open their gift during the shower.  It's the whole point of the shower in the first place.  I've gone to quite a few showers and never in my younger years did I find it boring and not want it to happen.  People will get over it.  

Also, no to the clear wrapping.  It screams, "Hey thanks for the gift!  My time is too precious to sit here and open up your thoughtful gift so I'll just look it over while they are lined up on the table."  

Yes, I'm aware people will get things that are not one our registry, but that's a WHOLE other topic that gets my blood boiling.  I, personally, would never buy something not on someone's registry and if there wasn't anything I wanted to get or nothing left that I could afford, I would get a gift card for that store or something I knew they could at least return at that store. 

And FWIW, I'd (and a crap-ton of my friends would) be totally fine if people didn't open gifts I got them in front of me.  As long as I get a written TY note after the fact so that I know they got it and appreciate the thought, that's what really matters to me.  As non-traditional as I am about certain things, the hand-written TY in a timely manner is probably the most important thing when it comes to gift receiving and something of which I reign as Queen of doing for every gift I get, even if it's not necessary.

I'm really fucking glad it's not your shower I am going to this weekend! 

Why???  It's going to be a blast!  Good people, good music, good food, supposed to be a gorgeous day for an outside event, etc.  AND you'll be sure to get a lovely hand-written thank you note for any gift you may choose to give me!

Except you would hate what I got you because it's not on your registry. I take the time to know people and what they like. I special ordered a coming home outfit (that was not cheap) that is exactly the mother-to-be's style. And spent several hours hand making and perfecting a couple other gifts. You would HATE it.

FutureMrsW9

@WashingtonQueen said:

FutureMrsW9 said:

@WashingtonQueen said:

FutureMrsW9 said:

Darbie914 said:

FutureMrsW9 said:

@Darbie914 said:

I guess I just don't understand the new trend of not opening gifts at showers.  I mean, people do realize that showers = gifts.  So if you're attending, you should be fully aware that you'll have to sit through the gift opening part- it comes with the territory.  

So for those people who find the gift opening part boring, suck it up and deal with it.  I mean, is it really the end of the world to watch someone open presents?  Eat your damn cake, sip your coffee/mimosa, and deal with it.  

I know what you mean and I totally get it, but I'm loving that the trend is shifting.  For the most part only older people like to sit and watch you open gifts (that you already know you're getting because you registered for it all lol), but to us young-ans it's just boring.  I've also heard of people requesting that gifts be wrapped in clear cellophane to "lessen the gift opening time."  I'm not sure how I feel about this, but it's definitely a step in the right trend direction!

I hate to break it to you but not every gift you get will be off your registry.  Many people don't care to shop from it and will get you a gift all on their own.  

Also, this trend is rude, no matter how old the guests are.  People are going out of their way to spend their money and time on you - the least you could do is open their gift during the shower.  It's the whole point of the shower in the first place.  I've gone to quite a few showers and never in my younger years did I find it boring and not want it to happen.  People will get over it.  

Also, no to the clear wrapping.  It screams, "Hey thanks for the gift!  My time is too precious to sit here and open up your thoughtful gift so I'll just look it over while they are lined up on the table."  

Yes, I'm aware people will get things that are not one our registry, but that's a WHOLE other topic that gets my blood boiling.  I, personally, would never buy something not on someone's registry and if there wasn't anything I wanted to get or nothing left that I could afford, I would get a gift card for that store or something I knew they could at least return at that store. 

And FWIW, I'd (and a crap-ton of my friends would) be totally fine if people didn't open gifts I got them in front of me.  As long as I get a written TY note after the fact so that I know they got it and appreciate the thought, that's what really matters to me.  As non-traditional as I am about certain things, the hand-written TY in a timely manner is probably the most important thing when it comes to gift receiving and something of which I reign as Queen of doing for every gift I get, even if it's not necessary.

I'm really fucking glad it's not your shower I am going to this weekend! 

Why???  It's going to be a blast!  Good people, good music, good food, supposed to be a gorgeous day for an outside event, etc.  AND you'll be sure to get a lovely hand-written thank you note for any gift you may choose to give me!

Except you would hate what I got you because it's not on your registry. I take the time to know people and what they like. I special ordered a coming home outfit (that was not cheap) that is exactly the mother-to-be's style. And spent several hours hand making and perfecting a couple other gifts. You would HATE it.

I'm really pretty sure you took my comment about buying things not on the registry in a whole other direction and WAY too literally.  Do you really think I wouldn't appreciate something like that??  If you do, you're from another planet.  I actually know that my sister and one of my aunts are making baby blankets by hand.  Obviously those aren't on our registry but they'll be the best gifts we get.  I'm talking about stupid stuff people buy just because they don't like what's on your registry.  Like toys or clothes that you clearly don't need.  C'mon, have a little common sense and don't take every word so literally.  *sigh* this is why I hate the internet sometimes, yet can't seems to peel myself away from it.

WashingtonQueen

Did you not say this? 

"Yes, I'm aware people will get things that are not one our registry, but that's a WHOLE other topic that gets my blood boiling.  I, personally, would never buy something not on someone's registry "

Wouldn't want to boil your blood and ruin your day by forcing you to open my gift and fake smile. 

And I'm LOLing at you telling me to have some common sense. You being the one to ask if you have to open gifts people give you. Ha!

[Deleted User]

The user and all related content has been deleted.

FutureMrsW9

WashingtonQueen said:

Did you not say this? 

"Yes, I'm aware people will get things that are not one our registry, but that's a WHOLE other topic that gets my blood boiling.  I, personally, would never buy something not on someone's registry "

Wouldn't want to boil your blood and ruin your day by forcing you to open my gift and fake smile. 

And I'm LOLing at you telling me to have some common sense. You being the one to ask if you have to open gifts people give you. Ha!

AGAIN, you're reading it WAY too literally. *eye roll*

And if you actually read the thread and comprehended anything I previously wrote, the reason I asked my original question about opening gifts was because my mother asked me if we were going to, causing me to wonder if it was even an option because I hadn't even thought not doing it was an option to that point.  Hence, prompting my question...a simple, innocent question that apparently gets people all twisted in their underwear.

Funfetti cake time!

WashingtonQueen

your

FutureMrsW9 said:

WashingtonQueen said:

Did you not say this? 

"Yes, I'm aware people will get things that are not one our registry, but that's a WHOLE other topic that gets my blood boiling.  I, personally, would never buy something not on someone's registry "

Wouldn't want to boil your blood and ruin your day by forcing you to open my gift and fake smile. 

And I'm LOLing at you telling me to have some common sense. You being the one to ask if you have to open gifts people give you. Ha!

AGAIN, you're reading it WAY too literally. *eye roll*

And if you actually read the thread and comprehended anything I previously wrote, the reason I asked my original question about opening gifts was because my mother asked me if we were going to, causing me to wonder if it was even an option because I hadn't even thought not doing it was an option to that point.  Hence, prompting my question...a simple, innocent question thsat apparently gets people all twisted in their underwear.

Funfetti cake time!


-------
So basically we should never take anything you say seriously because you don't actually mean anything you say. Got ya.

FutureMrsW9

@RedheadBaker said:

LOL that you don't think your kds won't need clothes.

LOL to crazy cretins who seriously think this way.  ^^

Pretty sure my newborn won't need tons of outfits that s/he'll grow out of.  All of my IRL friends and ladies on here who have already had showers said they end up returning a majority of this stuff because it's simply not needed.

WashingtonQueen

FutureMrsW9 said:

@RedheadBaker said:

LOL that you don't think your kds won't need clothes.

LOL to crazy cretins who seriously think this way.  ^^

Pretty sure my newborn won't need tons of outfits that s/he'll grow out of.  All of my IRL friends and ladies on here who have already had showers said they end up returning a majority of this stuff because it's simply not needed.

___________________
You don't have a kid yet so you really don't know. Unless you want to do laundry every single day you're going to need more than just a couple outfits. Between spit up, blow outs, and leaky boobs clothes are changed often.

Andplusalso, it's not that hard to exchange clothes out for a bigger size.

VOR

FutureMrsW9 said:

 As long as I get a written TY note after the fact so that I know they got it and appreciate the thought, that's what really matters to me.  As non-traditional as I am about certain things, the hand-written TY in a timely manner is probably the most important thing when it comes to gift receiving and something of which I reign as Queen of doing for every gift I get, even if it's not necessary.

And this is the irony.  YOU are traditional about thank you's.  Great.  MANY people aren't.  MANY. 

i've been to one shower where gifts weren't opened.  At the time I didn't mind.  I DO agree that the gift opening is boring.  But did I get a hand-written TY in a timely manner? 

NOPE.  3 months later (which I actually really don't care about), after the baby was born, I got a baby announcement with a pre-printed "Thank you for your love and support" and that was IT.  Nothing handwritten, even their names. 

And this is what pissed me off.  I really don't care about the gift opening, and if I'm genuinely thanked in person for a gift, I'm not a huge stickler for a proper thank you.  But when NEITHER of these happened?  It was off-putting.

While YOU may be traditional about thank you's, I'd be willing to bet you that what I experienced probably happens in some form or fashion a LOT.  Because I really think that most people who come here spouting off about "TIMES ARE CHANGING/ ETIQUETTE IS ANTIQUATED" aren't going to be sticklers about well thought out, hand written thank you's. 

And when that goes down the tube along w/ opening gifts in front of the giver and giving a genuine thank you at the time, it just makes the whole shower concept a hell of a lot more gift grabby and greedy.

FutureMrsW9

Darbie914 said:

Well hey then, why don't you save your guests their time and effort and cancel your shower? Since, ya know, you'll probably be returning a bunch of stuff that is simply not needed. For the record, babies only need a place to sleep, food, diapers, wipes, and some clothes. Anything else could be considers 'not needed' so be sure to check that your registry doesn't have any of that.

I did!  Thanks for the tip!! :-)

FutureMrsW9

WashingtonQueen said:

@RedheadBaker said:

LOL that you don't think your kds won't need clothes.

LOL to crazy cretins who seriously think this way.  ^^

Pretty sure my newborn won't need tons of outfits that s/he'll grow out of.  All of my IRL friends and ladies on here who have already had showers said they end up returning a majority of this stuff because it's simply not needed.

___________________ You don't have a kid yet so you really don't know. Unless you want to do laundry every single day you're going to need more than just a couple outfits. Between spit up, blow outs, and leaky boobs clothes are changed often. Andplusalso, it's not that hard to exchange clothes out for a bigger size.

You're right, I don't.  Shame on me for listening to advice from experienced moms who surround me IRL.  But I have tons of family and friends who do and have told me that even the stuff that I do have I'll probably be returning a lot of it.  It's more a matter of baby growing out of things fast then not having enough.

FutureMrsW9

VOR said:

FutureMrsW9 said:

 As long as I get a written TY note after the fact so that I know they got it and appreciate the thought, that's what really matters to me.  As non-traditional as I am about certain things, the hand-written TY in a timely manner is probably the most important thing when it comes to gift receiving and something of which I reign as Queen of doing for every gift I get, even if it's not necessary.

And this is the irony.  YOU are traditional about thank you's.  Great.  MANY people aren't.  MANY. 

i've been to one shower where gifts weren't opened.  At the time I didn't mind.  I DO agree that the gift opening is boring.  But did I get a hand-written TY in a timely manner? 

NOPE.  3 months later (which I actually really don't care about), after the baby was born, I got a baby announcement with a pre-printed "Thank you for your love and support" and that was IT.  Nothing handwritten, even their names. 

And this is what pissed me off.  I really don't care about the gift opening, and if I'm genuinely thanked in person for a gift, I'm not a huge stickler for a proper thank you.  But when NEITHER of these happened?  It was off-putting.

While YOU may be traditional about thank you's, I'd be willing to bet you that what I experienced probably happens in some form or fashion a LOT.  Because I really think that most people who come here spouting off about "TIMES ARE CHANGING/ ETIQUETTE IS ANTIQUATED" aren't going to be sticklers about well thought out, hand written thank you's. 

And when that goes down the tube along w/ opening gifts in front of the giver and giving a genuine thank you at the time, it just makes the whole shower concept a hell of a lot more gift grabby and greedy.

I'm 100% with you and can't stand when people send those preprinted Thank Yous and such.  It's so impersonal and frankly I think it's rude.  I've been to showers and parties where gifts have been opened in front of everyone but I never got a TY, heck I've even been to a wedding where I didn't get a TY... I think written TYs are a must no matter what.  To me, the TY is the important part that matters.  I could do without the shower, and didn't even want one, so idk how I could be called gift grabby at all.  I also was always planning to open gifts in front of everyone, despite the fact that I don't enjoy it, and the only reason I asked my original question was because of my mom asking me the question.  Until a few days ago I didn't think it was even optional.  So I appreciate the feedback from everyone that it really shouldn't be optional, because that's what I thought in the first place.  If it was optional, that would obviously be my preference, but I'm not going to be a jerk and not do it.