Yeah I did that. Now I feel like douchebag of the year... how do I fix this?
My best friends are pregnant with their first at the end of May. I am due with my third at the end of August. They'll be 3 months apart and we're super excited to go through this journey together. They hadn't shared baby names for their little girl and I haven't even shared the sex or name options with anyone yet either. We were out to lunch and she asks me "have you thought about names yet?" I think she was just hoping we hadn't thought of the same name. We both like keeping names secret so we don't get judged by family when we're set on something.
My answer went something like: "I don't have any firm things I'm set on but I've definitely ruled out trendy annoying names like 'Brylynn, Jadyn, **** and those kinds of names."
Her face was... unexplainable and they both (her and her DH in unison) say "**** isn't trendy or annoying at all!!! What's wrong with that name?!?"
Then I knew... that was their daughter's name. They had confirmed and set a name and I just dragged it through the mud. They haven't talked to me in 4 days, even when I said I wanted to give them their gift since they didn't have a baby shower. Now I'm worried they wont even want me to see them in the hospital. I apologized, I said it wasn't a name that was up my alley but it was really great with their last name. I feel like I've ruined the best friendship of my life over a baby name. What would you do?
Re: Have you ever accidentally insulted your best friend's kid's name-to-be...?
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I said something in a baby shop once about how I thought names Madison and McKenzie were trendy and I didn't care for them and the actual owner of the shop overheard me and got extremely huffy. I was like sorry, not sorry, I still hate those names.
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I agree with everyone else. You've apologized and there's not much more you can do. Give her a few more days and then try to reach out again. Honestly, if you've upset her this much, she is probably insecure about the name(s) to begin with, so you might be doing the kid a favor in the long run.
I'll share my foot-in-mouth name story with you. The first time I ever met BIL's girlfriend (now wife), we somehow got into a conversation about names and I went on a rant about "stupid, purposefully misspelled names". She started to look really uncomfortable and I was like oh god, what did I say? Turns out she is a Kathryn and is very sensitive about the way it is spelled because she is constantly correcting people. I was mortified. Of course I elaborated that IMHO, Kathryn is a perfectly legit spelling of Catherine (Russian, right?) and I apologized, but I was so embarrassed. Luckily there were no hard feelings there, but I am more careful about my name rants now!
Oscar born October 2011
Miscarriage at 8 weeks (August 2013)
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+1
I know it hurt their feelings but you honestly had no idea. You have apologized & tried to make it right. If they won't let you then it's their fault. Surely this isn't the first time you've disagreed on something. Politics, religion, & etc.
My son's name is Jude. People either hate it or love it. I've had plenty of people look at me like they felt sorry for me as if that's the only name I could choose. Lol. No biggie. DH & I love his name & that's what matters.
All of the PP have it - apologizing is all you can do. But honestly - if they were keeping their name a secret how would you know any different? They can't really get mad about it. It's not like they told you a name and you said it was stupid (like my MIL does with all of ours) - you just said you didn't like a name. It happened to be what they picked. Not your fault.
Two of my friends kept their names a secret and their sons ended up having extremely similar names. While it's unfortunate since we are all close friends, they knew they couldn't get pissed about it because they kept it a secret. When you don't give people any clues, you open yourself to the possibility of opinions people don't want to hear.
She and my brother did have a baby this year, a little boy. Of course, when I learned that the girl name they had picked out was Carter, well, I kept my mouth shut and was grateful they revealed that choice in an email so they wouldn't see the look on my face.
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