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Not excited about baby

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Re: Not excited about baby

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  • peanutbuttervibespeanutbuttervibes member
    NellyBluth said:




    alexisann4250 said:

    In the first seven comments, 5 of them were not only helpful but did not mention anything about a past loss or making an intro first....Coming over to police our board then making a separate post about it, bored much? Not everyone's comments were great or deserved but we don't need a bunch of people running over here to tell us so.

    Actually, the separate post came first. I posted it because I wanted to discuss what I was feeling after I read it. It has nothing to do with boredom, but good jab.





    Then why post a direct link to this post if you only wanted to discuss how you were feeling after reading it?
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  • peanutbuttervibespeanutbuttervibes member
    WhoCanItBeNow said:


    alexisann4250 said:

    In the first seven comments, 5 of them were not only helpful but did not mention anything about a past loss or making an intro first....Coming over to police our board then making a separate post about it, bored much? Not everyone's comments were great or deserved but we don't need a bunch of people running over here to tell us so.

    Oh, well 5 out of 7, that makes it ok. 

    Except #4 is where the loss was thrown in her face and the first two were total asshole comments. So 3 of the first 4 were dickhead comments. 

    Try again.



    I never said it was ok. I was just pointing out that there was some good advice along with the others.
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  • peanutbuttervibespeanutbuttervibes member
    @NellyBluth‌ I would have too. Usually that happens when you make a post talking about a separate post.
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  • mommy2Cmommy2C member
    alexisann4250 said:

    In the first seven comments, 5 of them were not only helpful but did not mention anything about a past loss or making an intro first....Coming over to police our board then making a separate post about it, bored much? Not everyone's comments were great or deserved but we don't need a bunch of people running over here to tell us so.

    Yes, you clearly do need a bunch of people to tell you how much you all failed in this thread. Instead of making excuses maybe try recognizing the extreme douchebaggery which took place and make an attempt to do better next time.
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  • peanutbuttervibespeanutbuttervibes member
    NellyBluth said:


    alexisann4250 said:

    @NellyBluth‌ I would have too. Usually that happens when you make a post talking about a separate post.



    You're right, but is it a crime to talk about something that happened on another board?


    Nope, never said it was!
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  • AmandaR204AmandaR204 member
    edited May 2014
    mommy2C said:
    Am I the only person who doesn't think OP got flamed at all? Do we all have the same definition of flaming? I think she got decent advice, she rubbed some people the wrong way but no one tore her ass apart..
    It is totally unacceptable for women here to use their losses as a means of diminishing the pain that another woman might be experiencing. It is, as they say, a classic case of the pain olympics or pain martyrdom. The diminishing that went on in this thread is no less as bad as an ass tearing.

    Why is it unacceptable for a woman who has a fresh wound to tell someone, "this was a bad time, this hurts me and others." If something rubs you the wrong way or hurts you and other people...you can't state that? People are going to say how they feel, if it hurts it hurts, just because you say it shouldn't doesn't mean it doesn't,
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  • AmandaR204AmandaR204 member
    WhoCanItBeNow said:
    AmandaR204 said:
    mommy2C said:
    Am I the only person who doesn't think OP got flamed at all? Do we all have the same definition of flaming? I think she got decent advice, she rubbed some people the wrong way but no one tore her ass apart..
    It is totally unacceptable for women here to use their losses as a means of diminishing the pain that another woman might be experiencing. It is, as they say, a classic case of the pain olympics or pain martyrdom. The diminishing that went on in this thread is no less as bad as an ass tearing.

    Why is it unacceptable for a woman who has a fresh wound to tell someone, "this was a bad time, this hurts me and others." If something rubs you the wrong way or hurts you and other people...you can't state that? People are going to say how they feel, if it hurts it hurts, just because you say it shouldn't doesn't mean it doesn't,
    Oh FFS. 

    There is no hope for you and several others on this board for removing your heads from your asses, is there?



    No none at all, it was a valiant effort though.
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  • peanutbuttervibespeanutbuttervibes member
    NellyBluth said:


    alexisann4250 said:

    NellyBluth said:


    alexisann4250 said:

    @NellyBluth‌ I would have too. Usually that happens when you make a post talking about a separate post.



    You're right, but is it a crime to talk about something that happened on another board?

    Nope, never said it was!



    Your passive aggressive comment about being bored suggests otherwise.

    I said you must be bored because instead of making a new thread about this thread to talk about your feelings, you gave a direct link to this thread knowing damn well what would happen.
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  • peanutbuttervibespeanutbuttervibes member
    I think getting bat signaled over a two page thread is a little much. But just my opinion...
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  • janda426janda426 member
    reverey said:

    PrimRoseMama said:
    WCIBN is kind of a big deal... Either way there are a lot of people from this BMB that owe the OP an apology.
    Including all of you who have taken it upon yourself to come over from your group to hijack her thread. Y'all should try offering advice to the OP instead of berating an entire group over a few comments. 



    You don't read well, do you ?
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  • peanutbuttervibespeanutbuttervibes member
    @NellyBluth‌ my point was that the thread wasn't made to talk about your feelings or else you wouldn't have put a direct link.
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  • peanutbuttervibespeanutbuttervibes member
    cjchio said:


    alexisann4250 said:

    @NellyBluth‌ my point was that the thread wasn't made to talk about your feelings or else you wouldn't have put a direct link.

    JFC I asked her to link it so I could see what douchbaggery was going on over here.



    I can't believe you all. Defending what you did, then blaming us for being assholes because we had the decency to stand up for the op. Do you really not get that you're all acting like huge assholes?

    Edit: and it isn't the whole board. Just a select few special snowflakes

    Exactly what happens and pretty sure this isn't news to a regular poster. Yes a couple people didn't respond well but our board does fine without others coming over from another board to police it.
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  • peanutbuttervibespeanutbuttervibes member
    @cjchio‌
    JSS1002 said:

    I think some of these responses were a little bit harsh. Yes, there are many who have suffered losses or difficult pregnancies on this board, and therefore are incredibly grateful about this pregnancy. But you're going through something difficult too, and frankly, I Think it is brave for you to admit how you feel, as it isn't a feeling that is widely acknowledged, even though I suspect many women feel that way at times.


    Getting ready for a baby is a HUGE change emotionally and financially and everything else. If your marriage is on the rocks I am assuming this wasn't planned.   That is difficult too.   

    I would recommend that you spend some time here and intro yourself in another way and get to know the vibe of the board, but your feelings are legit and I recommend you look for some professional help if you can -- both for your marriage and for you as an individual.

    Good luck.
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  • AmandaR204AmandaR204 member
    edited May 2014
    cjchio said:
    @NellyBluth‌ my point was that the thread wasn't made to talk about your feelings or else you wouldn't have put a direct link.
    JFC I asked her to link it so I could see what douchbaggery was going on over here. I can't believe you all. Defending what you did, then blaming us for being assholes because we had the decency to stand up for the op. Do you really not get that you're all acting like huge assholes? Edit: and it isn't the whole board. Just a select few special snowflakes
    Exactly what happens and pretty sure this isn't news to a regular poster. Yes a couple people didn't respond well but our board does fine without others coming over from another board to police it.
    Except none of you said anything about it. Nobody said "hey guys, lay off this is shitty."

    No one said hey stop guys this is shitty, because no one was being shitty.
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  • AmandaR204AmandaR204 member
    DarcyHermione said:
    AmandaR204 said:
    No one said he
    cjchio said:
    @NellyBluth‌ my point was that the thread wasn't made to talk about your feelings or else you wouldn't have put a direct link.
    JFC I asked her to link it so I could see what douchbaggery was going on over here. I can't believe you all. Defending what you did, then blaming us for being assholes because we had the decency to stand up for the op. Do you really not get that you're all acting like huge assholes? Edit: and it isn't the whole board. Just a select few special snowflakes
    Exactly what happens and pretty sure this isn't news to a regular poster. Yes a couple people didn't respond well but our board does fine without others coming over from another board to police it.
    Except none of you said anything about it. Nobody said "hey guys, lay off this is shitty."

    No one said hey stop guys this is shitty, because no one was being shitty.
    So making her feel guilty for emotions that she probably is already having trouble understanding is not shitty?

    People gave her great advice, some people said they found her comments insensitive, but she got the advice anyone would have given.
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  • AmandaR204AmandaR204 member
    cjchio said:
    cjchio said:
    @NellyBluth‌ my point was that the thread wasn't made to talk about your feelings or else you wouldn't have put a direct link.
    JFC I asked her to link it so I could see what douchbaggery was going on over here. I can't believe you all. Defending what you did, then blaming us for being assholes because we had the decency to stand up for the op. Do you really not get that you're all acting like huge assholes? Edit: and it isn't the whole board. Just a select few special snowflakes
    Exactly what happens and pretty sure this isn't news to a regular poster. Yes a couple people didn't respond well but our board does fine without others coming over from another board to police it.
    Except none of you said anything about it. Nobody said "hey guys, lay off this is shitty."

    No one said hey stop guys this is shitty, because no one was being shitty.
    ------------------- If you sincerely believe that, then I don't know what to say. You need to re evaluate what you've said. If you can't do that, then no amount of people trying to teach you empathy is going to do the trick.

    I don't need to be taught empathy, I've see People be massive bitches to random newbs asking a question or making a post, and I've said something, but sorry this just isn't one of those times that someone has been treated like shit. If you can't see that maybe you need to be less sensitive on a public forum where ppl disagree and tell you your post is kind of offensive.
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  • peanutbuttervibespeanutbuttervibes member
    That was the response of a couple people. Not everyone on this board. It's nice to know we're being grouped together even though we all have very different opinions. I'm sure everyone who has come over here to voice their opinions have really opened the eyes of those who were insensitive in their responses to OP.
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  • AmandaR204AmandaR204 member
    edited May 2014
    cjchio said:
    cjchio said:
    cjchio said:
    @NellyBluth‌ my point was that the thread wasn't made to talk about your feelings or else you wouldn't have put a direct link.
    JFC I asked her to link it so I could see what douchbaggery was going on over here. I can't believe you all. Defending what you did, then blaming us for being assholes because we had the decency to stand up for the op. Do you really not get that you're all acting like huge assholes? Edit: and it isn't the whole board. Just a select few special snowflakes
    Exactly what happens and pretty sure this isn't news to a regular poster. Yes a couple people didn't respond well but our board does fine without others coming over from another board to police it.
    Except none of you said anything about it. Nobody said "hey guys, lay off this is shitty."

    No one said hey stop guys this is shitty, because no one was being shitty.
    ------------------- If you sincerely believe that, then I don't know what to say. You need to re evaluate what you've said. If you can't do that, then no amount of people trying to teach you empathy is going to do the trick.

    I don't need to be taught empathy, I've see People be massive bitches to random newbs asking a question or making a post, and I've said something, but sorry this just isn't one of those times that someone has been treated like shit. If you can't see that maybe you need to be less sensitive on a public forum where ppl disagree and tell you your post is kind of offensive.
    ---------- If you can't empathize with someone who has a real problem without playing the pain Olympics, then who is sensitive in this situation? Again a drive by isn't a real problem. The responses to op, for the most part, were shitty. Take your own advice. If you can't be less sensitive and defensive over people telling you it was shitty, maybe you need to re evaluate what you're doing.

    Idk I'm not offended by people having different feelings and opinions. If I say something that hit a sore spot for someone, I don't start calling them haters and what not, getting defensive, I'd just say well I didn't know. I'm ok with people disagreeing sometimes...we don't all have to have a circle jerk all the time. We are going to have to agree to disagree.
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  • AmandaR204AmandaR204 member
    cjchio said:
    cjchio said:
    cjchio said:
    cjchio said:
    @NellyBluth‌ my point was that the thread wasn't made to talk about your feelings or else you wouldn't have put a direct link.
    JFC I asked her to link it so I could see what douchbaggery was going on over here. I can't believe you all. Defending what you did, then blaming us for being assholes because we had the decency to stand up for the op. Do you really not get that you're all acting like huge assholes? Edit: and it isn't the whole board. Just a select few special snowflakes
    Exactly what happens and pretty sure this isn't news to a regular poster. Yes a couple people didn't respond well but our board does fine without others coming over from another board to police it.
    Except none of you said anything about it. Nobody said "hey guys, lay off this is shitty."

    No one said hey stop guys this is shitty, because no one was being shitty.
    ------------------- If you sincerely believe that, then I don't know what to say. You need to re evaluate what you've said. If you can't do that, then no amount of people trying to teach you empathy is going to do the trick.

    I don't need to be taught empathy, I've see People be massive bitches to random newbs asking a question or making a post, and I've said something, but sorry this just isn't one of those times that someone has been treated like shit. If you can't see that maybe you need to be less sensitive on a public forum where ppl disagree and tell you your post is kind of offensive.
    ---------- If you can't empathize with someone who has a real problem without playing the pain Olympics, then who is sensitive in this situation? Again a drive by isn't a real problem. The responses to op, for the most part, were shitty. Take your own advice. If you can't be less sensitive and defensive over people telling you it was shitty, maybe you need to re evaluate what you're doing.

    Idk I'm not offended by people having different feelings and opinions. If I say something that hit a sore spot for someone, I don't start calling them haters and what not, getting defensive, I'd just say well I didn't know. We are going to have to agree to disagree.
    Jesus. Can you act more dense? If you were treated the way op was, you would say "oh ok, we disagree" ? I can't even wrap my head around your logic here. She had nothing to apologize or be called out for. She got shit on because people wanted to play the pain Olympics.

    I meant you and I are going to have to agree to disagree, I'm sorry I still don't think anyone treated her badly, it was all very tame IMO. I just don't find it appalling when people disagree online,
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  • brittneyandadambrittneyandadam member
    Yuristar said:
    mommy2C said:
    Am I the only person who doesn't think OP got flamed at all? Do we all have the same definition of flaming? I think she got decent advice, she rubbed some people the wrong way but no one tore her ass apart..
    It is totally unacceptable for women here to use their losses as a means of diminishing the pain that another woman might be experiencing. It is, as they say, a classic case of the pain olympics or pain martyrdom. The diminishing that went on in this thread is no less as bad as an ass tearing.
    I don't think anybody was trying to diminish her pain. Using their own problems  to illustrate that her problems still may have a solution, is very different. I don't agree with everybody bashing the opinions of people who tried to give her a different perspective.  And to be honest is very common! I remember being in a car crash and my mum saying, hey, at least you didn't end up in the hospital!

    Is not the advise you would have given? great! you must have a different view, that doesn't mean that people were trying to be shitty. 

    A million times THIS. It's called trying to relate. Some women were more open about their experiences than others; but the point was they were trying to offer perspective through personal stories.

    You bashing ppl for sharing their painful experiences to help another person is beyond shitty; THAT'S diminishing someone's pain.
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    {DH:31 all clear, "super sperm"}
    Ecstatically married July 30, 2011--TTC since Jan 2013:::Baby #1 due 9/11, Conceived on cycle #5 of Femara + Hcg + IUI
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  • AmandaR204AmandaR204 member
    This little two page thread got very dramatic and very self righteous.
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  • AmandaR204AmandaR204 member
    WhoCanItBeNow said:
    AmandaR204 said:
    Sadly, I actually did need some support and comfort, two days ago, and I got three pages worth, and I'm not even a frequent poster. @WhoCanItBeNow‌
    And how would you have felt if the first 4 reactions to your thread were to tell you to get the fuck over it and that you weren't allowed to post here? 

    That's what you are supporting. Good for you. Hypocrite.


    I would have wondered what I said that offended people so much, and maybe read a little more about the group of people I'm seeking comfort from.
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  • brittneyandadambrittneyandadam member
    WhoCanItBeNow said:
    brittneyandadam said:
    Yuristar said:
    mommy2C said:
    Am I the only person who doesn't think OP got flamed at all? Do we all have the same definition of flaming? I think she got decent advice, she rubbed some people the wrong way but no one tore her ass apart..
    It is totally unacceptable for women here to use their losses as a means of diminishing the pain that another woman might be experiencing. It is, as they say, a classic case of the pain olympics or pain martyrdom. The diminishing that went on in this thread is no less as bad as an ass tearing.
    I don't think anybody was trying to diminish her pain. Using their own problems  to illustrate that her problems still may have a solution, is very different. I don't agree with everybody bashing the opinions of people who tried to give her a different perspective.  And to be honest is very common! I remember being in a car crash and my mum saying, hey, at least you didn't end up in the hospital!

    Is not the advise you would have given? great! you must have a different view, that doesn't mean that people were trying to be shitty. 

    A million times THIS. It's called trying to relate. Some women were more open about their experiences than others; but the point was they were trying to offer perspective through personal stories.

    You bashing ppl for sharing their painful experiences to help another person is beyond shitty; THAT'S diminishing someone's pain.
    No. Telling someone to get over it because someone has been through something completely different is diminishing.

    Would you tell someone that lost a parent to get over it because someone else lost both parents or a child? Of course not. Same fucking concept that you people cannot wrap your damn brains around.

    1) Wasn't there something mentioned on here about going through different things does not mean different pain? Pain is pain m'dear. Whether it's a loss or being unable to get pregnant or your marriage falling apart or losing your job or all of the above. You come in and bash our board for the "Pain Olympics", but here, you're saying that pain is different and one is worse than the other? Hmm.

    2) So, telling someone to please get help and talk to a professional is telling them to get over it? Yeah, no.
    {Me:27, Dx:PCOS, LPD, & rob(14;15)}
    {DH:31 all clear, "super sperm"}
    Ecstatically married July 30, 2011--TTC since Jan 2013:::Baby #1 due 9/11, Conceived on cycle #5 of Femara + Hcg + IUI
    ~Love and Light to everyone~ 
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    My furbabies--Mr. Bubbles and Miss Kitty <3
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  • mommy2Cmommy2C member
    ockquote class="Quote" rel="AmandaR204">

    WhoCanItBeNow said:


    AmandaR204 said:

    Sadly, I actually did need some support and comfort, two days ago, and I got three pages worth, and I'm not even a frequent poster.

    @WhoCanItBeNow‌

    And how would you have felt if the first 4 reactions to your thread were to tell you to get the fuck over it and that you weren't allowed to post here? 

    That's what you are supporting. Good for you. Hypocrite.







    I would have wondered what I said that offended people so much, and maybe read a little more about the group of people I'm seeking comfort from.

    -----

    Wow...you are a piece of work. The OP didn't say anything that would offend anyone other than a bunch of self absorbed women who didn't need to click on the damn thread if they didn't have the balls to look past their own issues and help someone else with their pain. The title clearly states what the thread was about...if you can't handled it then pass it by. Don't click on it as an opportunity to make someone else feel like shit by using your own tragedies to diminish what they are going through. If you are really too stupid to get this concept then I would avoid any and all social situations.
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  • AmandaR204AmandaR204 member
    edited May 2014
    mommy2C said:
    ockquote class="Quote" rel="AmandaR204">
    WhoCanItBeNow said:
    AmandaR204 said:
    Sadly, I actually did need some support and comfort, two days ago, and I got three pages worth, and I'm not even a frequent poster. @WhoCanItBeNow‌
    And how would you have felt if the first 4 reactions to your thread were to tell you to get the fuck over it and that you weren't allowed to post here? 

    That's what you are supporting. Good for you. Hypocrite.


    I would have wondered what I said that offended people so much, and maybe read a little more about the group of people I'm seeking comfort from.
    ----- Wow...you are a piece of work. The OP didn't say anything that would offend anyone other than a bunch of self absorbed women who didn't need to click on the damn thread if they didn't have the balls to look past their own issues and help someone else with their pain. The title clearly states what the thread was about...if you can't handled it then pass it by. Don't click on it as an opportunity to make someone else feel like shit by using your own tragedies to diminish what they are going through. If you are really too stupid to get this concept then I would avoid any and all social situations.
    You're right, they didn't need to read the thread but they did, no one told her to get the fuck over it, they said how her post made them feel, was it right, no they could have ignored it but they said how they felt. Just like op said how she felt. You're going to get a lot of different opinions on these boards and ppl who feel differently than you, it happens, not everyone likes what everyone has to say. Idk what kind of lala candy land you're living in.
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