Curiosity killed the cat.

mamab3ar · April 2014

Not that it really matters but I was just wondering if there were any participants on this board that weren't monitoring their ovulation? It just seems to me that everyone is charting this or temping that (which I am absolutely not slamming in anyway) and I just wanted to see if there were any others who were taking a more laid back approach to trying to conceive? DH is nervous about deliberately trying and making a big issue out of it so he suggested a what happens happens approach. Anyone in the same boat?

jjgrl55 · April 2014

It's a personal choice, but keep in mind that without temping and charting, no one can give you good advice on when to test or when you should be concerned about a period not showing up. Additionally, a lot of women choose to temp, but don't discuss it a lot with DH if he is the one who is stressed by it, so you may consider that option as well. Honestly, you probably won't find many women on here who don't temp, since that's just a community culture kind of thing, but as long you understand you are making a choice to have less info about your body when it comes to exact timing, no one will judge you for it.

Josie400 · April 2014

Some people chart and temp while TTA. I did for 6 months before TTC. So temping doesn't automatically imply not being laid back.

mamab3ar · April 2014

I just meant anyone trying to conceive without any monitoring etc. Sorry if you guys though I meant I viewed "tempers" as obsessive or something like that because I don't think that. Honestly if DH would stress I would probably give it a shot.

mamab3ar · April 2014

Josie400 said:

Some people chart and temp while TTA. I did for 6 months before TTC. So temping doesn't automatically imply not being laid back.

Yeah I realize now my choice of the phrase "laid back" was a horrible idea.

Josie400 · April 2014

I didn't take it as you bashing temping, I just wanted to clarify that some people may be technically NTNP, but still be charting. I think, like you said, the majority of your audience on this board will be tracking somehow.

55 · April 2014

I temped/charted for a long time while trying to avoid. I'm not really planning to temp when we start trying to conceive next month. I know well enough when I ovulate that I think it's unnecessary for me right now - but if we are still trying in 6 months, I'll be temping.

nittanyllama · April 2014

LindsRockies said:
I'm confused at your choice of thread title.

Is she implying that too much info is a bad thing? Because I'm pretty sure it's not.

mamab3ar · April 2014

LindsRockies said:

I'm confused at your choice of thread title.

I was just being curious so the first thing that popped into my head was "curiosity killed the cat". Also when I post I always assume someone could potentially lash out and it was a reflection on that I suppose. The usage of "curiosity" alone just seemed to bland for my personal taste.

nittanyllama · April 2014

mamab3ar said:

LindsRockies said:

I'm confused at your choice of thread title.

I was just being curious so the first thing that popped into my head was "curiosity killed the cat". Also when I post I always assume someone could potentially lash out and it was a reflection on that I suppose. The usage of "curiosity" alone just seemed to bland for my personal taste.

----------------------------
How about "curious if everyone here charts?". That would have been plenty specific.

mamab3ar · April 2014

Agreed. I just don't tend to title things directly. Blame it on my English degree

nittanyllama · April 2014

mamab3ar said:
Agreed. I just don't tend to title things directly. Blame it on my English degree

------------------
I guess that makes sense for a piece of literature but not for a post in a message board. Just my 2 cents

mamab3ar · April 2014

No problem. I appreciate the feedback and will apply it in the future. Well, I will at least try to.

hullabalou · April 2014

I'm much more laid back when I AM temping and not just wondering when I can test/if I ovulated yet/when to expect my period.

barely · April 2014

There are quite a few people on here that are NTNP. I think most of them still temp though. I have never temped, but have done OPKs and plan to start temping even if we decide to go the NTNP route because I'd prefer to be informed about my body. I don't really like the term "laid back approach" either because it reminds me of all of those assholes that say "just relax and it'll happen" which is totes not true. If you are wondering if it's possible to get pregnant without monitoring ovulation, the answer is yes. However, be advised that it may take longer unless you are having EOD sex consistently. If your H is not ready to "try" for a baby and is freaked out about about the idea then you should probably consider the NTNP route, but you can still temp while NTNP so that you know when AF is due.

mamab3ar · April 2014

Oh I totally know that you can conceive without temping. My first two happened that way. I never really considered temping before. I do think that knowing when I should actually test would be nice instead of guessing.

traversity773 · April 2014

my husband just wants to ntnp, He doesn't care if I chart or whatever to conceive, He just doesn't want to feel so pressured into sex, in his words " I would prefer to think you can't resist me at that given moment, versus you just want my seed". I almost died. seed?! really lol

mamab3ar · April 2014

Oh gosh that is funny!

DH's are so funny with not wanting to know anything.

mildlymailyn · April 2014

H and I just started trying. The only monitoring we were doing was tracking my periods and letting the calendars guess when I was ovulating. I just started temping and bought a whole kit of OPKs.

RogueZymosis · April 2014

My SO asks daily what my temp was.. If FF has given me crosshairs.. And similar questions. I temp cause my doc recommended it. It's a lot more laid back than not temping. How do you not monitor ovulation yet are TTC?

wirt2cute · April 2014

I'm not going to lie I thought that temping would be the hardest thing in the world but once I gained the knowledge of how and when to temp it was so easy. Because of temping I am able to see what is going on with my cycle and when I am actually ovulating. It makes understanding my body much easier.

brettanomyces · April 2014

DarcyHermione said:

Those poor cats.

Don't be sad! The cat came back the very next day.

rockopera · April 2014

So your husband's stress controls what you know about your body? Yeah, I don't get that.

And personally, I was less stressed during the TWW when I knew that we had sex at the right time via temping. What if you are missing your FW completely?

themrsJRD · April 2014

rockopera said:
So your husband's stress controls what you know about your body? Yeah, I don't get that.

And personally, I was less stressed during the TWW when I knew that we had sex at the right time via temping. What if you are missing your FW completely?

Thank you for saying this.. I think it's lame when husbands/so's don't want someone to temp. It doesn't even affect them! Don't tell him anything about your charts unless he asks. It is perfectly possible to temp and take a "whatever happens, happens" approach. Just have sex whenever and after O is confirmed then you'll know whether you have a chance of being pregnant or not.

divinemsbee · April 2014

I'll say what I tend to say in these situations. You do you. Some things work better for some people, and sometimes you need to go through a couple of months before you decide what works best for you (I know a lot of women on here, myself included, started out just having lots of sex and have moved onto tracking because it makes more sense to us now).

However...

That means that you don't get to come on here and ask when to test/give a giant list of dates/symptoms or get butthurt when someone asks if you are temping/charting/tracking and you say no and they say the only thing you can do is wait it out.

As long as you don't get all venty because your period is 12 hours late and omigod it's never been late by more than an hour and your cycles are perfect then you do whatever you want.

Personally, I don't temp. It hasn't been necessary for me yet, but that's not to say it never will. I do use CBE Advanced OPKs and I find them decently non-stressful. I will say that H is very involved in TTC and timing and always has been. Some guys don't like it, but some do, and some come around to being more involved.

LuluRM · April 2014

mrskbuck said:
I'm much more laid back when I AM temping and not just wondering when I can test/if I ovulated yet/when to expect my period.

This.

suzysurparis · April 2014

I'm new to this group, but I've been half-assing the temping thing. When I remember, I do it, but I rarely remember. Plus I'm using just a regular Celsius thermometer which doesn't have that big of a difference in degrees, so I wonder if I'd even be able to notice.
I dont live in the US anymore, and that makes all the OPKs much more expensive (Amazon wont ship the strips to France), so I'm just charting off period dates (I tracked for seven months before starting TTC) and CM as best I can. I'm only in the 2WW of cycle three, but if it doesnt happen this month, I'm going to wait until September to restart TTC (not that I'd be fired, but I work in a small office and it might not survive the busy months without me).
My husband is not crazy about the charting and sex-pressure either, but he's wanted kids for years longer than I, so he's willing to put up with anything. When I go to the US to see the fam this summer, I'm buying the cheap OPK and HPT strips and basal thermometers to take back.

Irishcurls · April 2014

While TTA, temping is the only way NOT to stress.

PinkRoses53 · April 2014

When I was ttc my son, I temped. This time, I haven't yet. I am finding out that for me, temping made ttc less stressful bc it took the guesswork out of everything! I knew exactly where I was in my cycle and felt some sembalance of control in the process. I am way more stressed out not knowing what is going on!

namara5532 · April 2014

Right now, I'm just charting my periods/fluid. I'm not insisting we DTD when FF thinks I ovulate; I chart for my own information and so I have an idea when I should probably test. I'm not temping right now, but my body is still reregulating after getting my IUD out. I like the idea of temping though and may get a basal thermometer, but I'm not gonna pressure DH into sex as we aren't actively trying just yet.

EIsieMae · April 2014

I love charting. I've used it while TTC, while TTA, and currently while NTNP. I like to know what is going on with my cycle. It takes all of the guess work out of it. I like to know when my period is actually due, and when I ovulate.

Rochelle2012 · April 2014

Mrswirt2013 said:

I'm not going to lie I thought that temping would be the hardest thing in the world but once I gained the knowledge of how and when to temp it was so easy. Because of temping I am able to see what is going on with my cycle and when I am actually ovulating. It makes understanding my body much easier.

Ditto!!

janda426 · April 2014

I'm currently TTA @CharlieFox30‌ am I not allowed on your board??

OP, you can still temp and chart and use OPKs without telling your husband. I totally understand performance anxiety or whatever and know sometimes men think doing all of that is too much (it just sounds like a lot when in reality it takes like 30 seconds of your day). Even if that's not the case with him, just do it for your own benefit. It's your body, your decision. Not his.

janda426 · April 2014

LauraT25 said:
I am here for the love tits.

That's really what all of this boils down to.

DragonsLaire · April 2014

I will basically have my entire cycle taken over by BC, Synarel and various injections from when I hit BC 1 of my next cycle, so no, I don't temp. Seems rather pointless for me. My partner temps though, since it's her cycle I'm syncing up to, so that she and the doctors know where she's at, and she's been doing it for four months now. She doesn't tell me anything about it, and to be perfectly honest, I'm not terribly interested. It doesn't affect me at all, since it obviously can't help us get pregnant but if I wanted to know she would quite happily tell me.

12chachacha · April 2014

I started temping this cycle after hearing everyone on the board talk about how helpful it was. I'm finding it really helpful for not obsessing - because I haven't O'd yet so there's nothing to obsess over, despite the fact that I'm on CD25. I'm glad I know that because I could totally see myself peeing on sticks in a few weeks. More information is always helpful.

DH knows and is totally supportive. The other day he was waking me up and told me "don't forget to take your temperature." I told him I already did, only to realize later that I had only dreamed that I had. I've been having temperature dreams a lot actually, but I think that will go away with time.

FWIW, there's another thread on here (something about "what I wish I knew") where a lot of women were saying they wish they had starting temping earlier. Something to think about.

mamab3ar · April 2014

Thanks for all the comments ladies it has added a lot of perspective.

wintersong139 · April 2014

FINEdoubleLINE said:

I like knowing when to expect my period, it isn't stressful.

I totally agree. Knowing to the day when my period will start makes my life so much easier.
You know, now DH wants to know when I ovulate, but at first he didn't. So I didn't tell him. I highlighted the fertile window on my calendar (about a week long period), and I said, "Look, to make a baby we have to have sex at least every other day in this time." The end. He wasn't stressed out by reminders, and I knew whether or not we had good timing. :-) Eventually he really wanted to know. When I cam back from the bathroom this morning, he asked if I got "the smiley" on my digital opk because he knows it is a little later than usual. (Funny how now for us a smiley face = sexy sex time. I sometimes giggle when I see other people type them in innocuous sentences.)

ImJessesGirl · April 2014

I can't even imagine TTC without temping now...

brettanomyces · April 2014

I'm temping but I think I'm still pretty laid-back about it. I don't do OPKs so I don't know when I'm gearing up to O, and my temping is a bit of a mess because I can't use a digital thermometer on Saturday. So I rarely get real solid crosshairs to pinpoint my actual O day. All I know is that I have O'd and roughly when so I know when we can stop EOD sex and when to maybe pee on sticks.

ngolimento · April 2014

I wasn't aware taking 30 seconds out of my day was high strung, obsessive, and pressure inducing.

I must be on the razor edge of a heart attack, what with all the other things I do in a short amount of time on the daily.

"ACK! Toothbrush! Dammit!! Eating! Eeeeeek! Socks!!!"

*rolls eyes at people too emotionally delicate to handle temping*

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