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I need a virtual hug- tell me something funny please!

SweetiepopsSweetiepops member
in Pregnant after a Loss
I have a terrible cold and am feeling so sorry for myself today! I have been lying in bed all day watching movies. DH just left for the evening, he is in a wedding party and they are getting together to plan the bachelor party tonight, so I'm all alone :( My house is a mess and I don't have the energy to clean it. Tell me a funny story and make me laugh, please!
TTC Since August, 2013
BFP#1 11/2/2013 EDD 7/14/2014 MMC discovered at 8w3d (baby stopped growing at 6w2d)
BFP#2 2/4/2014 EDD 10/15/2014 please stick little one!

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Re: I need a virtual hug- tell me something funny please!

  • sunshineinmay09sunshineinmay09 member
    Aw, I'm so sorry you're feeling down. Try not to worry about your messy house and work on taking care of yourself instead!

    How about some chuck Norris jokes?

    Chuck Norris can kill two stones with one bird.

    Chuck Norris can punch a cyclops between the eyes.

    Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.

    Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together.

    Chuck Norris can speak French...in Russian.

    Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

    Chuck Norris knows Victoria's secret.

    (Stupid autocorrect kept trying to change chuck to chick!)
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • sunshineinmay09sunshineinmay09 member
    And this funny blonde joke someone posted on FB awhile ago.


    An attractive blonde from Dublin arrived at the casino and bet
    Twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, 'I hope you
    don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude.'

    With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled,
    'Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!'

    As the dice came to a stop, she jumped up and down and squealed 'YES, YES, I
    WON, I WON!'

    She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her
    clothes and quickly departed. The dealers stared at each other dumb founded.

    Finally, one of them asked, 'What did she roll?'
    The other answered, 'I don't know - I thought you were watching.'

    MORAL OF THE STORY

    Not all Irish are stupid; not all blondes are dumb; but all men are men
    BabyFruit Ticker
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  • megbmegmegbmeg member
    Sorry about the crummy day! I'm not so good at telling jokes but Mitch Hedberg is amazing at it: 
    Baby GIRL born 12/11/14!!
    MC @ 8 wks 7/6/13 - ectopic @ 6 wks 12/28/13

     In loving memory of sweet baby HP, and all our angel babies. Forever in our hearts.image 
     
      image

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  • SweetiepopsSweetiepops member
    hahaha thanks ladies, you are awesome!! Love the Chuck Norris, great "blonde" joke, Pitch Perfect is amazing, and I LOVE Mitch Hedberg! Thanks for taking the time to make me smile :)
    TTC Since August, 2013
    BFP#1 11/2/2013 EDD 7/14/2014 MMC discovered at 8w3d (baby stopped growing at 6w2d)
    BFP#2 2/4/2014 EDD 10/15/2014 please stick little one!

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